SUMMARY: I had a "What if...?" I couldn't shake, which turned into a story. So back we go, to that fateful night...only this time an unchipped Spike finds Willow all alone in her dorm room...
RATING: G (But we'll see how it goes in other parts.)
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, et al own all that is Buffy...including the characters in this story. No copyright infringement intended...just an attempt to rewrite their world to my liking. It's what goddesses do.
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~Part: 1~
Two little words can change everything. Willow had known better than to say those particular words, she really did. One did not issue open-end invitations to enter your room when you lived on the Hellmouth, but, well, accidents happen.
Willow tried desperately to think, to find a way to keep this accident from being a fatal one, spells and possible methods of defense or attack tumbling through her mind all at the same time. She was so caught up in trying to find a way out of her situation that the words that came out of her mouth surprised even her. "Spike! Wh-what do you want? Uh, a spell? I can do that."
Willow could tell by the look on his face what his answer would be. This was not lovelorn drunken Spike. Oh, no. This was deadly, dangerous Spike, the one that had killed two slayers and cut a bloody swath through Europe.
She definitely preferred lovelorn, drunken Spike.
He looked totally at ease, like he had all the time in the world. If it wasn't for the deadly focus of his gaze - and was that hunger in his eyes? - anyone looking at them would think he'd just dropped by to return a book, or borrow study notes. "I'll give you a choice. Now I'm gonna kill you. No choice in that. But... I can let you stay dead... Or... bring you back, to be like me."
Willow opened her mouth to explain that he really didn't want to do that, that she'd seen what happened if she was vamped and well, something must go horribly wrong, because vampire Willow was just awful, all evil and skanky with a vast leather wardrobe, not to mention the whips and chains and other kinkiness.
She changed her mind just in time.
No need to encourage him, for heaven's sake. Knowing Spike, she'd just convince him she was his dream girl.
So she said the first thing that came to her mind. "I--I'll scream." Willow almost winced at her own words. She'd scream. Well, gee, that would make him think twice, wouldn't it? Bet that had never happened before.
He just smirked at her, obviously enjoying her fear. "Bonus."
He was too close now, too close and the spell wouldn't come, and all she could think was "Help me, someone, Buffy, please help me, please God, Goddess, whoever, please be listening, please help me, because I don't deserve this."
Spike threw her on the bed and she watched the room spin around her as she fell, and suddenly he was on her. She was breathing hard now, every rise of her chest pushing his cold hard body into hers, her blood pounding in her ears, the sound of her heartbeat almost as loud as the blaring radio.
She knew what was going to happen, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
"No!" She sent her denial into the night, backed by every ounce of will and power she had, and she fought.
~Part: 2~
Spike was rather pleased that the little witch was as good as her promise; she was screaming the house down. She also kicked and wiggled and cried and though she was prolonging the inevitable - he really was enjoying the way her warm little body moved beneath him and the heady scent of her fear too much to rush things - he was never known for his long attention span. Killing her had never been part of the plan - he'd come here determined to put an end to the Slayer, after all - but he was enjoying himself more than he had in months.
Finally, though, Spike decided this particular game had gone on long enough.
His face morphed into his demon visage and his elongated canines slid into her tender skin, bringing those first few drops of blood to the surface. The flavour of her hit him and he moaned, knowing in that spilt second that he wouldn't let her die a mortal death, that he would turn her. Her strength, power, intelligence, compassion, loyalty, love, pain.they would be his, she would be his, for eternity.
He drank slowly, cradling her weakening body in his arms, savouring the flavour of her, wanting to remember this forever. The sweet smell of her hair, the delicious taste of her blood on his tongue as her very essence filled all the empty spaces inside him, the softness of her warm skin as it began to cool beneath his touch. Someday he would tell her about this, tell her how he had known in that moment that he had finally found his soul mate, his true love, that he had known that the two of them belonged together.
He could feel her die in his arms, his mouth at her neck, and he wanted to weep for the beauty of it.
~Part: 3~
Spike lit another cigarette and took a deep drag. Once again he checked the little witch for any change, then started another circuit of the crypt. She should be awake by now. He wasn't really worried. After all, she was a witch, and a potentially powerful one, judging by the taste of her blood. That was bound to make things go a little differently.
But he was getting tired of waiting.
He had spent the last day planning their eternity together and he wanted it to start as soon as possible, thank you very much.
William the Bloody knew how to treat a lady, and now that the little witch was his, she would have only the best of everything.
Once again he imagined the look of pride on his new childe's face as she watched him kill the Slayer, followed by the look of surprise and delight when he presented her with the body. He imagined what it would feel like when they shared her blood, took all her power and death and made it a part of themselves.
He threw the cigarette to the floor and ground it out with his boot and crossed to gaze once again at his treasure. With gentle fingers he brushed the flame red hair off her forehead and traced the lines of her face, amazed that he had never really noticed before how beautiful she was. How could he have not seen it?
Sure, that night he'd kidnapped her to do the love spell he'd noticed how sweet she was, how good she had smelled, what a cute little body she'd had, but he'd never noticed her beauty. He'd thought about killing her that night, even considered bringing her back, but only as part of his plan to make the Slayer and Peaches suffer the way he had when he had lost his dark princess.
He must have been drunker than he thought, to be oblivious to her pale porcelain perfection.
"Come on, Red, wake up." He brushed a thumb back and forth across her lips. "Come back to me, pet."
He instinctively pulled his hand away as green eyes flew open. "S-spike?" Willow's voice was shaky and confused. "W-what.?" Her question was cut off with a gasp as she squeezed her eyes shut tightly.
The vampire moved quickly to sit down beside her on the sarcophagus, lifting her gently into his lap, cradling her in his arms. "Shhhh. It's alright, love. I've got you. Everything will be alright."
Willow's hands clutched his shirt, and her eyes opened slowly. "Oh. Ohhh. No." She closed them tightly again and buried her face into his chest.
"What's wrong, pet? Tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it. What can I do?" He stroked her hair with gentle fingers, rocking her back and forth.
"It's all too.everything." Her voice was muffled against his chest. "Too loud. Too bright. Too.smelly."
He relaxed and dropped a kiss on top of her head. "It'll pass, I promise. Just give yourself a minute or two to get used to it." He rocked her gently, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. "Everything is going to be fine. You have me now. I'll take care of you, forever. You belong to me and I won't ever let anything happen to you, I promise."
Willow's eyes flew open in realization. "No!" She watched her hands as she slowly relaxed the fingers that had been clutching his shirt, taking internal inventory. No heartbeat. No breath. The crypt was dim, but she could make out every detail, see the eyes on the spider crawling across the wall on the other side of the room. She felt strong, powerful.
She was a vampire.
She was dead.
She had died.
He had killed her.
"What did you do!?!" She shrieked in grief and rage, pummeling him with her fists.
He caught her wrists easily in one hand, holding them against his chest. The other arm tightened around her waist, refusing to let her scramble away from him. "Stop it! Stop, before you hurt yourself!" He looked at her in confusion.
She collapsed against him, sobbing. Spike pulled her close and started to rock her again. "Don't cry, baby, please don't cry. It'll be okay."
He held her while she cried, murmuring vague reassurances, rocking back and forth, stroking her hair. Finally, when her tears were spent and she lay quietly against his chest, he stilled. With gentle fingers he turned her face to his, breathing a silent sigh of relief at the remains of bloody tears on her cheeks.
She was a vampire all right. He hadn't somehow failed to turn her. So what was wrong?
"Talk to me, pet. Tell me what's wrong. What the bloody hell is going on with you?" He cradled her face in his hand and wiped away the tear stains from her cheeks with his thumb.
Willow drew a deep unneeded breath. "I'm sorry. I mean, I'm not sorry I got so upset - it's really majorly upsetting, finding out you're dead and all - but I'm sorry if I worried you. Even if you did kill me. Kind of. So I probably shouldn't even feel sorry that I worried you, but I do, for some reason." Her big green eyes looked confused.
Spike silently cursed to himself. Something was definitely not right here. First she was upset about being killed and turned into a vampire, and then she was feeling apologetic. He shoved aside a feeling of panic, and tried to concentrate on the facts. Something had definitely gone wrong.
Okay. He was used to things going wrong. He just had to find out what exactly was wrong, and fix it. Fast.
"I'm not worried, pet. Just confused. You're definitely a vampire, but something isn't quite right. Fledglings don't usually act like this."
That was certainly an understatement. The only stories he had ever heard about fledglings acting odd were when minions accidentally turned mortals, and the resulting vampires were weak and crazed. But he was a master Vampire, and the witch would, in time, be one as well. He had brought her across properly; he knew he had.
So what the hell was the matter?
His reverie was broken by a strangled sob. "It's probably the soul." The words were whispered so softly, even he had trouble hearing them.
"The what!?!" Spike looked down at the red head in his lap in shock. That vague feeling of panic threatened to reappear, but he refused to let it.
"It's probably the soul. My soul. That's making me act all strange, I mean. At least, strange according to you. I seem fine to me. Well, as fine as I can be, considering I just found out I've been killed but I'm not exactly dead, and someone just turned up the volume on the world, and." Willow trailed off and she shrugged. She was staring at a point somewhere over his left shoulder, refusing to look at him.
Spike unceremoniously deposited her on the hard stone next to him and jumped up to pace back and forth. "Oh, that's just bloody fantastic. A soul. You still have a soul. Mind explaining to me exactly how that happened, pet? Because that was definitely not part of the plan!" He stopped pacing and stared down at her accusingly.
"Um.well. I did it. Sort of. You have to understand, Spike." Willow looked at that spot over his shoulder again, not daring to meet his eyes. "I've seen her - me - I mean, the vampire version of me. There was an accident, a magical type accident, which by the way, was not my fault, and she was brought to this world. She was awful! All. all.evil and bitey.and then there was the inappropriate touching and all the talk about chains and riding people.I think she was kind of a dominatrix type, too, to be honest." She shuddered. "And all that leather! She wore more leather than Angelus, and it was tighter, too, because I couldn't even breathe in that outfit." She shifted her gaze to his face and her heart sank, seeing the look of fascination on it.
She was right. She'd just described his dream girl. She sighed and went on. "Anyway, after she left - we managed to send her back where she belonged, and good riddance - I couldn't stop thinking about her. About me. About what would happen if.if.well, you know. I just couldn't stand the thought of being like that. And I figured hey, I'm a witch, there must be something I can do. So.I did it."
"Did what exactly?" Spike hoped it was something that could be fixed easily. The idea of the little red head in tight leather had definitely piqued his interest, especially if she wanted to play dominatrix.
"I did some research. And I talked to my friends - my magic witchy-type friends, I mean. I managed to find a way to set it up so that if I did die, they'd know, and if I did get turned into a vampire, they would know right away so they could do a soul restoration."
Spike hit his forehead with the palm of his hand and shook his head in disgust. "The glow! When I gave you my blood to drink, you started to glow. It only lasted a moment. I thought it was just a side effect of your being a witch!"
"Um.actually, that was kind of a magical 911. Letting my friends know that the worst was happening and they had to get going on the whole soul restoration thing right away." Willow watched the vampire digest this bit of news, scooting back a bit when he began to pace up and down in front of her angrily, looking at the ceiling, his arms gesturing wildly.
"I cannot believe this! Why me? Why does this always happen to me? What do you people have against me!?!" He paused a moment, as if waiting for an answer before going on. "It's not like I was trying to destroy the world, or bring about the Age of Darkness. All I wanted to do is change one little witch. I finally find the one I want to spend eternity with and kill her so we can get started, and she ends up with a soul. You just couldn't give me one bleedin' break, could you?"
Willow sat up a bit straighter when she caught the last part of his rant. "You killed me because you wanted to spend eternity with me? Oh, Spike." She felt her eyes start to tear up. Despite herself, she couldn't help being touched. "That's.well, one of ickiest things anyone has ever said to me, but it's also one of the sweetest."
Spike abruptly stopped pacing. Great. Now she thought he was sweet.
He watched the girl carefully. She was staring down at her hands now, twisting her fingers around nervously, her soft red hair falling like a curtain around her face. His fingers itched to smooth it back, to tilt her chin up so he could see her eyes again. He remembered how perfect she had felt in his arms, and an idea came to him. "I don't suppose a moment of total happiness would get rid of that pesky soul, would it, pet? Because I can make you happy.very, very happy. Over and over until that soul is gone." He quirked an eyebrow at her. He knew the exact moment she caught on to his meaning; her big green eyes flew open to catch his, and her cheeks infused with a soft pink glow.
Willow slapped her hands to her cheeks and closed her eyes, mortified. She was dead, but she could still blush. Just her luck. For a brief second she considered going along with his idea and letting him try to shag the soul out of her, but her common sense kicked in. "Um.no. My soul is permanent. It was returned with a spell, not a curse, so no loop holes." She tried not to sound disappointed, but it was hard. She opened her eyes and closed them again quickly.
She'd never really noticed how good looking he was. How could she have missed it? Well, he was always threatening to kill her; that did tend to take her mind off things like chiseled cheekbones, and deep blue eyes and a hard, lithe body.
"Open your eyes, pet. Look at me." Willow opened her eyes to find those deep blue eyes looking directly into hers from just a few inches away. He rested his forehead against hers and sighed. "What are you thinking about, hmmm? What are we going to do with you?"
Willow stifled a gasp at the feel of his skin against hers, quickly stifling the urge to rub her cheek against his, to run her hands through his short blond hair, to kiss his mouth, to sink her fangs into his neck.she pulled back quickly and looked at the floor, her hands.anywhere but at him.
This was bad. Very bad. She decided it had to be the whole sire-childe bond that was making her think naughty Spike thoughts. It had to be. Of course, he had said he wanted to spend eternity with her, and he had been so kind and gentle with her, holding her and making her feel safe and loved.
She put a halt to her thoughts. She was confused, and she hated that. She had to get away from him and sort out what had happened to her and what she was feeling.
"Let me go?" Her voice was soft and she decided she didn't sound very convincing, even to herself.
"And how long do you think you would last, little one? You're still newly made.you can't hunt, you can't fight." She shivered at the feel of his breathe on her face, his eyes intent on hers.
She'd never noticed how good he smelled. Tobacco and leather and some musky, earthy scent even her enhanced senses couldn't identify.
Spike tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and she closed her eyes again.
He was right. She couldn't take care of herself right now. But if she stayed with him much longer, she was going to do something she might really enjoy now but regret later. She tried not to notice his fingers running through the silky strands of her hair.
There had to be someone else who could help her. She ran through the list of her friends frantically in her mind. Buffy - no, she was the Slayer and Willow's new instincts screamed at the idea of being near the Slayer and not trying to kill her. She didn't know if she could control herself. She wasn't sure if Xander could deal with her news without breaking down completely, and Anya wasn't really a friend; besides, she couldn't keep a secret if her own life depended on it, much less Willow's. Giles, well, Giles would be able to help her, but she knew he would be heart broken and she really wasn't up to dealing with his grief while she was still mourning her own death. But Angel.he could help. He would understand what she was going through, help her learn to control her demon, teach her the skills she needed to survive.
She didn't realize she'd said Angel's name out loud until she felt the hand in her hair jerk back violently. She opened her eyes and shrunk back a little at the look of hatred on Spike's face.
"Angel's the only one who can help me, Spike. He understands what I'm going through, and he can teach me the things I need to learn." She reached out and put her hand on Spike's arm, but he shook it off and stalked away, his hands balling into fists at his sides.
"No! You will NOT run to Peaches! What is it with you bloody birds? What does tall, dark and poncey have that makes every woman he meets fall at his feet?" The memory of Drusilla going on and on about her precious 'daddy,' even when all that was left of the great Angelus was a brooding, self loathing shell of a vampire, fueled his rage, and a muscle started to twitch in his cheek. He turned to face her, his eyes blazing but his voice calm and deadly. "You are mine. My blood, my childe. You will not go anywhere near him, do you understand? I will take care of you."
Willow's eyes narrowed at the note of possession in Spike's voice, and she felt her demon stir for the first time. "I don't belong to you, Spike, even if you did sire me. I am my own person.uh, vampire. And if I am going to survive with a soul, I need someone to teach me how. Since you seem to be sorely lacking in the soul department, the logical choice is Angel. He is my friend - and only a friend - and he has spent 80 years dealing with his demon everyday. It would be stupid to ignore that kind of experience."
"Forget it. You are not leaving this crypt until I say so. I don't need my wanker of a sire's interference. I'll figure something out." Spike turned away and started rifling his duster pockets, searching for a pack of cigarettes.
Willow jumped down and stalked towards the other vampire, turning him back to face her with one hand on his shoulder. "You can stake me, let me go or go with me, but you won't stop me from leaving here. I am going to Angel's."
Spike met her eyes and growled low in his throat. Willow's softer growl mingled with his, and they continued to stare into each other's eyes, the blue and green beginning to glitter with gold.
He couldn't believe she was standing up to him like this. She was less than a day old. She should be cowering before him, terrified of displeasing him. A thrill of pride went through him.
He watched in fascination as her face morphed for the first time, her forehead transforming into a mass of delicate ridges, her eyes turning a deep golden amber. She was the most beautiful vampire he had ever seen. He watched in fascination as she bared her teeth at him, her new fangs nicking her lower lip. The heady scent of her blood wafted toward him. Strength, power, intelligence, compassion, loyalty, love, pain.he remembered the first taste of her in her dorm room, and that sudden realization that they were meant to be together for eternity.
He knew he couldn't stake her. She meant too much to him already. And if he wasn't very careful it was likely that he would lose her, lose the chance to spend eternity with her. He wasn't going to let that happen, even if it meant letting her run to that great poof for help.
"Fine. Go to Peaches."
Willow stepped back, her face slowly morphing back to her human visage. "Thank you." She turned away, forcing herself to stand straight as a wave of dizziness hit her. Her stomach cramped and she almost gasped at the gnawing hunger that filled her.
"Let me get my kit together and we'll be off." He grabbed a black bag and started picking clothes up off the floor and stuffing them in, zipped it shut, then slung it over his shoulder.
"Spike! Angel will kill you!" Fear at the thought of Spike dying at the hand of the older vampire momentarily pushed aside the pain of her hunger.
"He can try." Spike shrugged on his duster. "If you're going, I'm going. No use arguing, pet." He walked to the door of the crypt and threw it open, motioning her through.
Willow knew she was too weak to argue with him even if she wanted to.which she didn't. The thought of him going with her made her feel safe, somehow. She took a deep breath and headed towards the door on wobbly legs, stopping at the threshold. "Um. Spike? Can we stop by Willie's first? Cause I really think I need something to eat. I don't feel very."
Spike caught her around the waist as she fell, then gently lifted her into his arms, settling her head on his shoulder be. "Why me?" He sighed and slammed the door behind him, heading out into the night.
The End