E-Mail: Ldydarkstr@yahoo.com.
Rating: R
Classification: Willow/Spike
Disclaimer: Yes, of course I own Spike and Angel! Spike is nicely tied to my bed, waiting impatiently for me to finish typing, and Angel is at Starbucks getting me a Cafe Mocha. Joss owns the rest of the characters, I just try to sneak them away for some yummies. You know the usual don't freak don't sue, no infringement or other such nonsense intended. Voodoo Lady-is by LIVE....Deliver Me-Sarah Brightman
Summary: Nothing is ever still on the Hellmouth, it always changes...
Authors Note: Angel's gone to LA, no Oz. Spike has been hanging around, but can bite.Willows thoughts: *.....* Spike's thoughts <.....>
Notice: This used to be the Darkness of Soul Series, I have since re-written a lot of the story, and changed many things, as well as the title, so please read!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
She laid on the bed delighting in the way her body felt against the cool sheets, smiling up at the moonlight, she rolled over and giggled, looking at her wall as if it was an imaginary suitor, giving him a daring come hither look. She stroked her skin absently and purred. Willow shivered, bounding off her bed to move her body to the rhythmic music pounding from her new stereo, the newest gift from her parents for missing her graduation. She let go of everything that had been worrying her. Buffy was out of town, training with Giles, Xander and Anya were no doubt entertaining each other, and she had no other plans than letting herself go.
~I was thirsty for everything
but water wasn't my style,
guess we might have to teach me somethin'
guess we might have to show me how...~
Willow began slow motions with her hips that had never been shown to Oz, not that he had inspired the passion in her that was building with her un-inhibited freedom now.
~I could be a voodoo lady just a classy hooker
playin' the field,
classy holy hooker!!
hey I've made up my mind, yeah
I came to see your sign,
disappear this mornin' but come back tonight~
The hacker ran her hands up her body, through her hair, letting the blood redness twist in her fingers.
"Holy shit..." A couple of frat boys gathered beneath Willows dorm window, intoxicated by the light shining through, and the redheads erotic dance. They grinned at each other.
"Look at Rosenberg " They nudged each other. "Who would've thought that she had such a body under those fuzzy things" One joked.
"Me."
The guys turned to meet a stern blonde glare. Spike wasn't at all amused by the drooling mortals. Quite annoyed actually.
"If you boys bloody know what good for you...you'll sod off." He growled, showing his demons face. They yelped and scrambled for the darkness of the paths like the boys they were.
Spike shook his head, they wouldn't last long in the shadows. "And they come to school for a bloody education....idiots." He turned his head up to look at what the children had been staring at, and immediately took a few steps back. "Satan's cock." He growled.
~light up a cigarette she said
and calm the fuck down,
relax and let your ears hear
this beautiful song,
underneath the sound....
I made up my mind
I came to see you fly
disappear this mornin'
but come back tonight...~
Willow ran her hands down her thighs, licking her lips, lifting her ass high into the air, in her mind seeing all the people she would love to show this dance to, all those she'd love to show who she was. Not just a hacker, not just a witch, not just Willow. Spike's cock twitched and hardened even more with each hip motion she made. He growled. The redhead had even more fire in passion than she did in temper. If he had known that when he kidnapped her and her friend, he would have taken her.
~Voodoo Lady.....voodoo lady......
I was thirsty for everything...but blood wasn't
my
style.......
yeah.....voodoo lady....
did I dream you up or are you for real???...are
you
for real???~
The song ended and Willow grinned, stretching luxuriously. She felt so powerful, so alive, like pure fire was surging through her veins. She raised her arms, and made a quick prayer to the goddess for making her female. She laughed, and Spike raised his head to the window again. She picked up a bottle of lotion from a near table, its scent wafting through the windows. Lavender. Cursing whoever made glass, Spike watched her apply it to her smooth long legs, her torso, her white, soft breasts.....he hissed. He'd want to jump through that window in a second if she continued her torturous attentions.
Willow hummed, and laughed again. What was she doing? It was Friday night, and she was inside, imagining all sorts of things. She bit her lip, and looked twords the door. What if, she went out? Just, let go, became someone new, just for one night, just became who she was inside, out? Willow grinned, and headed for the closet.
Spike saw clothes flying through the air. "That right Red, come to me. Come." He growled, slinking back into the shadows.
Willow applied the last touch of golden amber lipstick, smiling. She wasn't herself this evening, and she was determined to enjoy it. The tight black silk pants, and the soft green gauze top with embroidered with rune symbols, with the black undertank was just right . Combined with her comfortable black boots, dark amber eyeliner, and flushed complexion, she was ready to play. She took a step out of the room, and grinned at the usual assortment of men positioned at the front stoop.
"Hey guys." She grinned, tossing her head.
They looked after her. "Hi...um...HI!" They crowed, waving frantically.
"Was that the friend of that blonde in 5C?" One of the menlings asked.
"Sure as hell looked like it, damn..."
Spike kept an eye on her from a distance. She was alone, but emanating pure power. It was intoxicating, like the beat of her gentle heart. Spike tailed her for a while, keeping a strict eye out for anything that might consider getting yummies off of his redhead. Spike paused. <My redhead?> he questioned. Shaking his head, he decided to concentrate on the girl, like the way her ass swung so wonderfully in those pants....
Willow had heard about this club from a friend of Oz's. It was a underground, with plenty of dark subjects. Rules were, no bites, no fights, you dance another night.
*At least its catchy.* Willow thought.
There was no reason to go to the Bronze, nothing was there, except old Willow stuff. This club was new exciting and dangerous. Willow flashed a smile to the bouncer, levitating her keys slightly. The man just nodded at her, and pulled the door open for her.
*Hah, don't need ID now, do I?* Willow grinned.
The floor was packed, humans and demons dancing to the frantic beats that the dj spun. Willow examined the entire scene, grinning. Despite the obvious differences in species, the whole club seemed to radiate one-ness. The hacker cum-witch could even see a vampire dancing with a human, his demon face intact, and his partner smiling at him.
*No bites? Oh my...* Willow thought. She let a soft smile spread across her face. This might be fun, if only she had the two vampires she saw semi-regularly with her. *Oh well...their loss* She concluded, sitting at the bar and ordering a drink.
Spike entered the club, after being warned repeatedly, no snacking. He had only one snack in mind that night, and it didn't necessarily mean that he'd be feasting on her blood.That thought alone had him grinning like a cheshire cat. The vampire looked anxiously around, spotting Willow dancing with a vampire, moving like a erotic harem girl. For a moment he pondered how many drinks she had in her. Then he saw her eyes flash in laughter. *Bloody chit isn't drunk!* The vampire the witch was dancing with looked up at Spike, aware of his presence.
"Mine" Spike mouthed. The minion stepped back into the crowd, sending Willow in a spiral. Willow laughed, caught by secure arms, enjoying the dancing.
"Wow, I need to get out more."
"You do, luv." Came a purring near her ear.
Willow spun around, surprise registering on her face. "Spike!"
He grinned at her, her heart was thumping so fast. "Red." He smiled.
Willow fought the urge to grin and grab him the way she had the other vampire. "What are you doing here?" She asked breathlessly, her hand resting on her heaving chest.
Spikes eyes traveled to her breasts, watching them rise and fall with each gasp of air. Sensual thoughts clouded his head again. "Watching you." He smiled.
"Watching me? Why?" *damn him damn him, why does he have to be so...*
"Because you're gorgeous."
*Sexy and sweet....* Willow mentally kicked herself. *Strong, I am woman...Goddess give me the strength I am your daughter...* Willow grinned. "Nice Spike, but I'm not volunteering for meals on legs." She shot at him, turning around with a flip of her hair that would've made Cordelia proud.
Spike's eyes widened the smallest bit, and he combated with a swift hand around her waist. "Who said anything about eating you....your blood at least..." He murmured in her ear, steering her to a sofa in a dark corner. He sat down pulling her onto his lap.
She wriggled, enjoying the feeling of his muscular body. She fought the urge to blush. "Then why follow me..." She murmured, very aware of the hard on pressed into her thigh.*Oh man oh man...thoughts...goddess...*
Spike took an air of breath. <bloody fuck...don't wriggle so> "I could be a voodoo lady....I came to see your sign, disappear this mornin' but come back tonight. " Spike sang softly in her ear, nipping it.
Willow turned, her temper flaring. "You were spying on me?" She hissed.
Spike looked at her, at her eyes sparking, the raw feral energy. <Satan above> "I was looking at art. And keeping the rape mobile men at bay." He returned. "Mighty nice Red, I was impressed."
Willow stared at him, wanting to be angry, but feeling intrigued. "Impressed?" She asked softly, relaxing.
Spike took the opportunity to run his face against her soft neck. *Her scent...mmm... pure intoxication...* He leaned back when she straightened in fear at his touch. "Bloody hell yes. Luv, you have...such a passion...Oz was lucky." Spike murmured. He knew full well Oz was gone, and he had never tasted a bit of the passion that the vampire had seen that night.
She frowned again. "Oz never got anything that good. I've never...shown that to anyone.Well...knowing that I was." She smiled. Willow looked around, amazed at herself. She was sitting on the lap of a vampire, who had been continually trying to kill her best friend and end the world.*I mean sure that he helped out Buffy now and again...though...Well, you were after danger Rosenburg*
"He's an idiot then not to see whats in front of him." Spike murmured, tracing her face.*He could see her inner turmoil, playing to her softer side*
Willow looked into his eyes and smiled. "What do you see Spike?" She asked softly.
"Fire. Passion. A bloody brilliant mind. Confidence,but afraid to be who you've always wanted to be, afraid of what everyone else would think." He whispered, moving his hands to clasp her around the waist.
Willow smiled. "I see you too." She returned, moving her leg to straddle him close. She looked into his eyes. "I see hurt. Betrayal. The need for danger. Passion, and release, but afraid to let go of control.The need to be wanted, needed, to be as one with someone.For who you are...for who you will become, and not for all that you appear to be." She murmured, tracing his face with the tips of her fingers.
Spike blinked, and almost trembled. "Let me show you what you can be." He almost pleaded, touching her lips with his fingertips.
"Let me heal you." She replied, moving to kiss him.
Spike pulled her close against him, wanting to bury himself in everything that attracted him to her. He invaded her mouth with a probing tongue, met with hers, full of passion, seeking to battle his. Spike groaned,as her hands slid up his chest to clasp him tighter to her.
The kiss broke, leaving Willow to gasp for air. *What am I doing?* she wondered. She felt Spike stroking her back, and smiled at him. *I don't care.*
"Spike...." He gazed at her, lost in his thoughts. < Satan help me, I'm weak...I'm an evil demon who is weakened by a bloody kiss...> ,she smiled at him, < and I don't give a flying fuck...> "Yes luv?"
"Lets go." She whispered, taking possession of his lips.
Spike pulled away from the kiss. "Where?" He asked.
Willow smiled, and brought her hips to his, grinding into him with sudden insistent urges. "Here." She whispered huskily, biting his jugular. *Its about time I had some fun...not so Willowy planned fun...look what planned seduction did to Oz...don't think about that...Spike-sex ohhhh...*
Spike stood, reluctant to set her down. "What my lady commands." he growled, wrapping a arm around her possessively, leading her out of the club. His grip grew tighter as he thought about the dangers of Sunnyhell, how exactly had she lived so long in this hellmouth without being killed by demons like him?? <Shuddap you ponce>
Willow looked up at the vampire that was scanning the streets anxiously. Why had she been afraid of him? Or was it the fact that she saw into him, and what she saw, scared her. *Maybe, a soft chewy center so forbiddenly sweet? *
Spike growled at a passing rat. He didn't want anything to go wrong. Not tonight...tonight was going to be different, he had a feeling, like someone was tracing their bloody fingers over his spine.
"Spike." Willow whispered.
He turned to look at her. "Yes ,pet?"
"Why are you frowning?" She asked softly.
Spike stared into her deep eyes, pulling her to him. "I never realized how.."
Willow tilted her head, immedietly interested.
Spike smiled, and met her lips with a soft kiss... "it doesn't matter." He whispered against her warm mouth.
Willow chuckled ever so softly, pressing herself tight against him, running her hands up and down his chest. She had never felt so bold as she did with Spike. Like she was so sure that whatever she did he would respond. "Spike." She whispered again.
He looked at her and rewarded her with a mischievous smile, knowing her thoughts. He responded with a playful nip to her neck. "I know." He murmured, pulling on her hand.
~Part: 2~
Spike opened the door to the apartment, watching Willows face. She stared wide-eyed at the paintings of women from all sorts of angles, their faces masked either by shadow, or substance. She examined the books lining the shelves, tracing their covers with her fingertips. She looked across the room to the bed, made up nicely with pillows and a featherbed, the black sheets pulled open, ready to receive their master. Spike turned on the stereo, letting a soft melody penetrate the silence that was filled only with Willow's soft breathing.
"What do you think, pet?" He asked softly.
Willow looked up at him and smiled. He laid his duster on the couch, leaning next to it. "You painted the women?" she asked, moving forward to take his hand, to lead him to a painting of a woman looking away into darkness.
~deliver me....from out of my sadness... deliver me...from all of my madness... deliver me...courage to guide me... deliver me....strength from inside me~
Spike stared at the painting, listening to Willow sing the words to the song. "I painted them." He breathed.
"Why can't you see their faces?"she asked, moving to touch the frame,
"Is it because you never can see anyones true face, because everyone is trying to hide who they are?" She questioned.
"Actually, I just can't paint faces." Spike chuckled.
Willow looked up at him, and burst out in nervous giggles. She calmed down, and listened to the music again.
~all of my life, I've been in hiding... wishing there was someone just like you... now that you're here..now that I've found you... I know you're the one to pull me through.....~
Spike stared into her eyes, stroking her face softly. Why didn't he feel the urge to devour her, to drop her body in an alley and...
"I didn't know you liked Sarah Brightman."
Spike shook his head. "Whats that?"
"Sarah Brightman. Singer."Willow tried regaining the air that each time was stolen by his touch.
"I saw Phantom." Spike almost growled, moving to the edge of the bed, and laying back on it, irritated by his own thoughts.
"I love that show. Something about, a man tortured by the love he could never touch, and receiving it from that gentle soul that he loves, who teaches him the true depths of love, and he lets her go...." Willow whispered, staring at the vampire, realizing the relevance of the words. *What am I doing?* She suddenly realized, she was in Spike's apartment, talking about art and music!! *Godess WILLOW pathetic much??*She watched him stretch ever so slightly. If she didn't turn and leave now, her life would never be the same. She wouldn't be the same. *You had to let yourself think didn't you, couldn't just be meaningless sex??*
Spike looked at the redhead standing near the painting. <Why is she always so different?Why do I always have to be needed, wanted? Not that she needs me, and not that I need her...she's prolly gonna turn and run home, and in a week we can go back to baiting each other, the bloody slayerettes laughing and gossiping about our 'forbidden' kisses...bloody 'ell> Spike closed his eyes. He was so tired of all of that.
Willow grinned. *I don't want to be the same...the club was just a begining, this is just a begining. *
<Fuck just start babbling Red so I can take care of myself and fall asleep alone..again..>Spike thought, his eyes closed, waiting for the slam of the door. A warm touch startled him.
"Spike." Spike looked up into the green depths of Willows eyes.
She smiled, pushed him down onto the bed and climbed on top of him, pulling him up to her. "I don't want to go." She whispered, running her hands around him, to pull her nails up his back.
Spike grinned in his cocky way at her words. He responded, squeezing her rear, pulling her closer to his erection. "Then bloody well don't." He whispered huskily, claiming her lips.
~Part: 3~
Spike traced his fingers up and down Willow's side, her body cuddled close to his chest. The music had long since died in the apartment, which had been replaced with their sounds as they became one. Spike closed his eyes and listened to her breathe. It was melodic in itself. Willow sighed deeply, and turned over, cuddling closer to him. He held her to him, tucking the blankets around her shoulder.
She opened her eyes lazily, smiling at him. "Hi." She sighed.
"Hi." He returned.
"What time is it?" She asked.
"Almost twelve in the afternoon." Spike murmured, kissing her lips softly.
"Oh jeez, I missed my classes this morning!" Willow groaned, sitting up.
Spike chuckled and pulled her down to him. "Luv, you're going to miss a lot of classes." He murmured.
"No. I'm not." She gave him a stern glare.
Spike resisted the urge to chuckle again. "Then you're going to miss a lot of studying time." He said, tracing his fingers up her arm.
"Why is that?" Willow asked raising her eyebrow.
"Because, you're going to be with me." Spike said matter of factly.
Willow tilted her head, a small grin appearing in the corner of her mouth. "Oh." She breathed, as his expert lips began caressing her skin. Shaking her head, she pushed Spike's face away from her neck.
"Wait, wait. SPIKE!"
"Wh-AT?" he asked, moaning and rolling over.
"Whats going on?"
Spike poked his head from under his clasped arms. "Well, if you haven't noticed, we seem to be bed buddies." He bit his tongue, at his own chipper voice,supressing the urge to laugh.<I sound like that pup, Xander.>
"Oh no." Willow groaned, stalking twords him to sit on his back.
"Luv, you can't really do anything back there." he teased.
"No bed buddies Master Vampire." Willow said, rubbing his back.
Spike relaxed slightly at her attentions. "No? Not just a lazy fuck here and there?" He prodded.
"No. Either you want me, and have me, or we go our separate ways." Willow said quietly, suddenly serious.
Spike rolled over, pulling her back on top of him. He reached up and held her face, staring at her. "I want you." He whispered, just as serious.
"Then have me." Willow murmured, kissing him.
He growled rolling her over, using his skillful fingers to stroke her femininity, eliciting moans from his lover. He chuckled. <I will have you Red.> He thought as he lowered his mouth to taste her.
Willow rolled over lazily, her hand searching for Spike. Feeling the sheets beneath her fingertips, she opened her eyes.
"Spike?" She called, sitting up. She pulled the sheets up to her chin, looking around.
"Spike?" she called again.
She grasped a robe laid at the edge of the bed, sliding out of its comfortable embrace. She tiptoed around the apartment, looking for the blonde vampire. He wasn't in the apartment, the darkness outside had apparently already fallen. A note laid on the kitchen island. {Red, gone out for food. Be back later. Spike}
Willow smiled. So succinct. She sighed. The apartment smelled of him, with light scents of herself. Not to miss the scent of sweat and sex. Willow's smile turned into a grin. She felt her neck for the marks that made her the blonde vampires. She loved the marks, she was his, not to mention the way he howled her name each time he came. Willow shivered with wonderful recollected memories of the night, and the morning...and all in between. Trying to grasp practical thoughts, Willow realized she needed to go home. She needed clothes, and if she was going to stay at Spike's flat for awhile, which she knew she was, she needed, things. Throwing the robe back on the edge of the bed, Willow grabbed her pants and shirt, smiling at thoughts only her own. Scribbling a note in reply to his, she left.
Spike growled. Hunting had been rewarding, but he craved another taste of his Willow. Nothing seemed as satisfying as her, in the throes of passion, motioning him to drink from her. She was so willing...so warm. Spike half growled, quickening his pace.
Willow stuffed clothes into her duffel, along with her spell book and journal. Not to mention her laptop. She checked her answering machine.
"Hey Wills, its Xand. wanted to know if you wanted to go Bronzing...but I guess not....Anya and I will catch ya later."Beep.
"Willow, hey its me...I wanted to tell you that Giles and I don't know when we're going to be getting back, you will not believe the stuff I've been doing!!! Meditating??? What the hell is up with that??? Yeah, Mister bad-ass vamp, wanna join the legendary Slayer in a few rounds of OHM?? And this swamp stuff is sooooo disg..."BEEP...Willow chuckled.
"Willow. Its Angel. Thought I'd check up on things. I, um, Buffy told me that Spike was hanging around, I just wanted...to...to....huh?...to..to tell you....what Cordy? How the hell should I know...ugh.....just be careful call me if you...NO not that THAT is not a desk prop!!! That is a ancient carving sword...its my favorite for Worvak demons!!Give it back!!...Willow...just be careful, Spike doesn't hesitate when he sees what he..wants..._CRASH_...CORDELIA..how many goddamn......" BEEP.
Willow rolled her eyes. *Oh, Angel if you only knew.* she giggled. Slinging her bag over her shoulder she headed out the door.
The redhead hummed under her breath, crossing through the graveyard, a small little patrol before she went back to Spike's.
*Angel would definetly not be happy if he knew what was going on here with his childe...hehehe...the look on his face would rival any mess that Cordelia could make....*
Pausing her internal monologue, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. Turning around, she almost screamed as she was tackled.
"SPIKE!" She hollered.
The vampire sat on her, pinning her, grinning. "Whats the idea leaving a chap by his'self?" He asked.
"Oh, really Mr. BedNeglecter?" Willow returned.
"I seem to remember preforming very well in bedding tasks." Spike smirked.
Willow raised her eyebrow. "Oh, really, I don't remember..." Spikes mouth dropped as she erupted into giggles.
"Red, if you are having memory problems, I shall have to remedy them, immediately." He growled, kissing her.
Willow snaked her hand up to his neck, pressing him firmly to her mouth and body, insistent in bodily contact. Spike moaned, and dived his hands beneath her clothing to tease her breasts with his fingers. Willow groaned, and heard an astonished gasp not coming from her or Spike. She tilted her head up.
"Erhm. Hi Buffy."
~Part: 4~
Spike shot his head up, his senses at full alert. <Fuck...fuck..I'm going to die.>
Buffy raised her eyebrow. "Ok." She mumbled.
Willow pushed Spike off her, adjusting her clothing as she stood.
Buffy glared at the vampire. "I am going to kill you now." She growled.
"No." Willow hissed. She was very upset about being interrupted in her fun. Not to mention someone threatening her vampire.
"No?" Buffy asked confused.
Willow slid her palm into Spikes, smiling at him.
<Red, what are you going to do.>
"No. Spike, and I have...been getting...um.,um....better...um... acquainted."
Spike fought the urge to dance around the drop jawed slayer. <Good one Red.> He emphasized Willow's words, putting his arms around her and drawing her close.
"You're not under a spell are you?" Buffy asked, still not believing.
"No, I'm not, and I'm not vamped. I'm just, having... fun."
Buffy looked at Spike, then back at her friend. "Uh, Will, demon, kill, bad, icky blood??" She mumbled, half coherently.
Willow shrugged. "I know. But, Buffy, underneath it all, Spike isn't that bad, just like Angel can laugh, you just don't think so right away."
Spike considered this for a moment, not sure wether to be offended being compared with the big Poof, or proud that his Willow was defending him. He decided to take the latter position.<Even tho' I'm nothing like that buggering ponce>
Buffy fixed Spike with a glare. "What are your intentions?" She growled.
< A good solid fuck not even a half an hour from now, and from there, well, we'll see who falls asleep first...oh..shouldn't say that.>
"Good ones. I wouldn't hurt Red for all the demon fun in the world.'Course, she is so nice and pretty when you chain her to a bed....erhm.. I mean...she's the best thing in my life in a long while." <Solid point for me> Spike said, fixing a semi-evil look on his face.
Willow groaned, *even bed buddies would've described it better* "Buffy, I do know how to take care of myself. Besides, why would Spike kill me now? He has been involved in many Scooby activities!"
"Especially when I know how warm she is..inside...her heart, all caring and..erhm." Spike stopped speaking, knowing that letting the Slayer know that the only thing he had on his mind at the moment was ravishing his red head would definitely get him staked.
Willow laughed. "I guess we both see things in each other, that are worth exploring."
Buffy scowled. "I don't like it." She pointed at the vampire. "You I don't trust. I don't even like you. I put up with you cause you're good at dusting things. Just because of Willow, I'm going to let you live, but you cross that demonic line, and I'll stake you, Willow or no." Buffy turned on her heel and left.
Willow sighed, staring at her feet.
Spike turned her around in his embrace, tilting her chin up. "You ok Red?" he asked softly.
Willow looked up at him, tears wetting her cheeks. "It hurts when she doesn't accept who I am."
Spike growled. "I do." He murmured in her ear, nipping at it.
Willow chuckled, huskily. "Want to distract me?" She asked, running her hands over his ass.
"Do you have to ask, luv?" Spike grinned, swinging her into his arms.
The demon watched the lovers disappear, frowning. His mistress and lover wouldn't be happy, but, she would be comforted by his touch. Though ultimately his mission would mean he would lose the right to be in her arms. But nothing was too good for her. He would do anything for her. He took after them, keeping to the shadows.
Willow mumbled in her sleep, and Spike couldn't help but drawing her to him. She was so unlike anyone. She drove his mind, not to mention his body over all edges he had ever known. Something that had been for him a slight horny problem, turned into a electric connection. <"let me heal you"> those words repeated over and over in his mind. He needed it. Blood healed all his wounds, but she was healing the scars that everyone had shuddered at. Drusilla had needed to him to be rough and tough, a version of her 'daddy'. Angelus required him cold , submissive, and obedient. Spike looked down at Willow. What did she need from him? What would be taken from him if he fell in love? Drusilla had taken his trust when she chose another demon lover, Angelus abandoned him when he regained his soul. Spike, from souled to unsouled had never known caring or love. What would Willow need, what would she take, what payment would she extract, for all that she had given? Spike buried his head in his lovers neck, her arms moving to clasp his shoulders, not willing to think any more. <Love.> was his last coherent thought. That would be what she needed. He didn't know, if he could ever give it. Not ever again.
Willow stumbled into Giles' apartment, warm and glowing from a morning tussle with Spike. *the more I'm with him, the more I can't stand being apart* she grinned. Her grin stopped short as she regarded the solemn faces of Giles, Buffy, and Xander. Only Anya seemed halfway content.
"Get any sleep last night?" Xander hissed.
"Yes I did, thank you." Willow forced a smile, sitting down. Giles just stared at her, already rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"You're attire has changed." Anya noted.
Willow smiled. The knee length maroon skirt and black tank top had been purchased last night. "Thanks for noticing Anya. Spike bought them for me."
Buffy raised an eyebrow.
"So, how many times have you guys done it?" Xander barked.
Willow glared at him, her eyes narrowed.*I've had just about enough from you Alexander* "How many times have you been unable to get it up?" She growled.
Xanders eyes widened. He pointed at her. "She's possessed!"
Anya snorted. "She is not. I know possession, it doesn't dress like that!"
"All I know is that my best friend may be making some poor choices." Buffy murmured.
Willow glared at her. "And running away was just a small little brain glitch? Try again Buff. At least I know what I'm doing, and I can handle my problems."
Giles coughed. "As much as we may not approve of each others actions, we cannot judge."
The group looked away from each other.
"But, it is our concern Willow, that your involvement with Spike...is.going to get you hurt....and that this is not anything that could last. What if the whole point of his helping is just a part of a larger plan, and you're a um, chess piece?" He finished.
"And if we are just dating, like any demon/ human will and do?" Willow asked, looking at Anya and Xander, then at Buffy.
"Then we will have not to worry about Spike." Buffy pointed out.
"So you want to ground me and put rules up, eh mom and pops?" Willow asked,sarcasticly.
"For god sakes Willow, hes tried to kill US...do you even remember that?" Xander burst out.
"I remember Xander, but what I also remember while you were passed out on the bed, was him crying on my shoulder because his heart was broken." Willow countered.
"Willow, all we ask is that you be careful, keep your guards up." Giles said.
"Is there any way we can get you to NOT see him?" Buffy asked.
"If you could be with Angel, without there being a killing spree, would you stay apart??" Willow asked softly.
Buffy looked into Willow's eyes and saw her sincerity and feeling. "No, nothing could stop me." She whispered.
"I'll be careful." Willow murmured. "I have to grow up sometime." She finished, looking at her friends. Xander threw his hands up into the air, and stormed out, swearing. Anya shrugged and picked up a book on demon philosophy.
"Tea anyone?" Giles asked.
~Part: 5~
Buffy flipped the pencil in the air as the girls studied. "So...you and Spike..."
Willow looked up a half grin on her face. "Yeah?"
"You guys..are.." Buffy rolled her eyes. "Fucking like rabbits, aren't you?"
Willow smiled, looking a the sun setting. "Yup. And I'm loving every minute." She murmured.
"He's changed you." Willow looked back at her friend. "You think he did this?" she asked.
Buffy nodded in affirmation.
"No. I've been like this a while. I've been trying to let all the things that make me alive out. Not just safe, not just computers, not just who everyone thinks I am." She edged closer to Buffy, her eyes bright.
"Spike just let me know, that it was ok, that I wasn't a freak, that I was beautiful inside, as I am out. He showed me, and opened me up. Have you ever been close to a person, and you feel perfectly complete?"
Buffy looked out the window, at the darkness pooling. "Yes." She whispered.
"Then you know, that when you are, that everything is possible, everything is attainable."
Buffy looked back at her friend. "I do. Just please Willow, be careful. Complications ...occur."
Willow nodded. "I know."
Spike heard the girls talking. Ironing things out. <Bloody marvelous...Red told the Watcher and the rest of 'em.> He knocked on the door, a mischevious smile gracing his face as he casually leaned against the door jamb. His Willow smiled broadly, while the slayer scowled,opening the door.
"Come in Spike."She said reluctantly.
"Red, Slayer." He murmured, reaching out to hug Willow.
"Look, I got patrolling to do." Buffy sighed, reaching for her slaying bag. "Didn't make anymore trouble for me did you Spike?" She sarcastically drolled.
"Nope, I've been a good little demon,'sides, have better things to feast on." He purred, licking Willow's neck. She squealed slightly.
Buffy rolled her eyes, shutting the door. "Bye."
"Late...." Willows mouth was captured by a passionate kiss.
"Missed you baby...I think..that school is bad..." Spike whispered, in between carnal kisses. His hands reached to remove her clothing. "You should consider letting me continue your education."
Willow laughed, stroking his chest. "Am I becoming a doctor then?" She grinned attacking him, sprawling him on the floor. Spike replied with action.
His mistress had shrieked and cried. He held her, comforted her, and made her forget the betrayal, as she saw it. She moaned in her sleep. The Chaos demon placed a sticky hand over Drusilla as she dreamt. He had promised that he would kill the redheaded witch. After the vampire was driven from her side. He would do anything for his Mistress. Anything.
Willow sat up, gasping for air. *Not another nightmare.* She looked at the ornate trappings of Spike's apartment, shivering.
Spike opened his eyes slowly, staring up at her. "Another one?" He asked softly.
She nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. "What is causing them?" She asked, hiccuping.
Spike reached up to stroke her back. "I don't know. Maybe...and this is just a guess, its the hellmouth?" he smiled softly.
Willow chuckled, placing her hand on his face. "Oh, you've figured it out! How did you ever find out that we lived on a hellmouth..." she cracked.
"Smart arse." He growled, vamping out to tease her.
Willow's eyes went wide, and she fell back. *Noooo*
Spike shook his face, returning human. "Sorry." He mumbled. <Stupid pillock...your scaring the girl..>
Willow sat back up. "Me too...scares me when you go all grrr..and stuff..bad repressed memories."
Spike sighed, leaning back. <If I'm such a bad repressed memory...>
"I'm sorry Spike." Willow whispered, laying on his chest.
The vampire resisted sighing again. "I know Red, but, the...grrr.. is apart of me."He said, stroking her skin.
"I know. I'm sorry." She whispered.
"S'ok."
They laid there in the quiet, thinking.
"Spike?" Willow asked softly.
"Yeah Red?"
"Um, good night."
"Night."
"Whats going to happen when, you know, you get old?" Buffy asked, as the girls walked across campus.
Willow sighed irritably. She hadn't slept much after her and Spike had said goodnight. Between dreams and her own thoughts, sleep just wasn't happening. "Buff, I don't want to _talk_ about it anymore! For god sakes, why does everything have to be analyzed, catalogued and dissected?!" She asked, walking away.
Buffy stared after her, surprised. "Maybe she is possessed!" she gasped, running to find Giles.
Willow threw her books in her dorm room and kept walking. She didn't know what was bothering her, the fact that she hadn't slept, the fact that some aspects of her demon boyfriend still scared her, or just that stuff wasn't right yet? She sighed, and continued walking.
"Giles are you even listening to me???" Buffy shrieked, pacing.
"Er, yes of course Buffy, but what makes you think that Willow is possessed?" Giles asked, looking up.
"Um, well, maybe the whole grrr-bitch thing, and sleeping with a vampire, and not being at class!!!" Buffy stated triumphantly.
Giles sighed and rolled his eyes. "Buffy, Willow is changing, and by all aspects she is going to be a little testy." He said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"Yeah, but..."
"And if all those actions qualifies Willow as being possessed, what does that make you?"
Buffy narrowed her eyes, and crossed her arms. "A slayer with a best friend in turmoil." She stated.
Giles cracked a half smile. "Just give her space and time. It will all sort out...even..Spike." He said, shuddering and turning back to his lunch.
Buffy grinned, and sat down at his table, eyeing his food. "So, whatcha havin?"
"Good lord." Giles exclaimed.
Willow stared at the mansion, sitting in front of a cold, dead fire. She didn't know how she ended up here, but at least it was quiet, and there were no one asking questions.
"She is alone..." A soft purring voice caressed the silence.
Willow turned sharply, ready to give the intruder a piece of her mind. She paled, and shrunk back.
Drusilla giggled, and swayed as she walked twords the witch. "Poor lost flame. So cold in the darkness. Your warmth is so small compared to his silent heart beat. You think you are so strong to resist and hold the demon...child..."
"What are you doing here??" Willow whispered, trembling. She jumped as the vampire neared close enough to touch her.
"You shall know torment of silence. You heart will grow cold, bred from loss of love. He cannot love, cannot give what he does not have, vampire, predator, human...prey. Grow cold...die." Drusilla growled.
"Prophecy?" Willow mumbled, remembering the vampra's powers.
"Princess sees it. Flame will die." Dru whispered, looking behind Willow.
Willow turned, a graphic image of Spike over her, raping her as she screamed in agony. The scene changed, Drusilla torturing her, with things Willow couldn't even recognize. Her friends turning on her, saying it was her own fault. Tears started streaming down her face.
Drusilla smiled,and started to dance. "London bridge is falling down...falling down...falling down...the flame will make it fall down...the tree with no life....in her...." She sang, walking from the mansion.
Willow curled into a ball, unable to take anymore. *Not being loved.... I'm dying? Why won't Spike love me...why can't I love him....why...won't he love me...why would he hurt me...why...would she torture me....what does this mean...why...why????* Willow started sobbing, shivering, muttering irrationally...her heart was loud in her ears, the tightness in her throat squeezing out all the oxygen she was fighting to inhale. Angel entered the mansion, his duffel thrown casually over his shoulder. He could swear he had sensed a vampire, and now he heard....weeping? He had come from LA at the request of Buffy, who was concerned about something, as usual.
"Willow?" he asked, surprised at seeing the girl here.
She didn't answer him.
He approached her cautiously, placing his hand on her back. "Willow?" He repeated.
She was cold, but her face was flaming and she was shivering. "Willow, you're in shock, what happened?"
Willow just sobbed more. "C-c-call..."
"Buffy? You want me to call Buffy?"Angel supplied.
Willow shook more, trying to move her head. "C-c-call Spike..." She moaned, her eyes fluttering closed.
Angel scooped her up into his arms, she was unconscious and in need of warmth. Depositing her on the ever ready upstairs bed, he removed her sweat soaked clothes and wrapped her in the velvet sheets. Picking up the phone he stared at it for a moment, then back at the still shivering woman. He examined her closely, tilting her head to the side, spotting fang marks. Recent ones. Angel growled, scenting the bites lightly, his demon not at all happy at the owner of the bite. "Spike." He hissed, dialing the phone.
~Part: 6~
" 'Ello?" Spike asked, dropping the shirt he was folding as he darted for the phone.
"Childe."
Spike grinned. "Why, 'ello Dad. Been so long...what can I do for you...a stake..sure..got one right here...."
Angel growled softly. "I've got something that seems to belong to you."
Spike gripped the phone. "Oh?" He hissed.
"A beautiful redhead, here in my bed...."
"What have you done to her?" Spike roared, almost biting his own lip with his fangs.
"Be quiet Spike. I found her in the mansion. She's in shock, crying and shivering. Mumbling things about Drusilla and death."
"And you took full advantage of her, fucking wanker." Angel sighed.
"If I did, would you be talking to Angel, or answering to Angelus for taking another lover?"
Spike took an un-needed breath.
"Good. Calm down. She asked for you before she fell unconscious. I suggest you be here when she wakes up." Angel hung up.
Spike threw the portable across the room, grabbed his duster, and headed down the stairs, not even caring about the sunlight.
Buffy placed a cool cloth on Willow's head as her fever continued to burn.
"Tea is on for her." Giles quietly mentioned from the doorway.
Buffy looked up and nodded. "Good, she needs some liquid."
"Angel asked you to come downstairs, hes getting a peculiar feeling from the room."
Buffy nodded and followed her Watcher out of the room. Angel was pacing the room, a scowl on his face. "Angel...what is..." Buffy stopped, her foot hitting the bottom step. She wrinkled her nose.
"Magic." She sneezed.
Angel nodded. "Drusilla's magic no doubt, it reeks of her. Not to mention, I can still smell her." He growled.
"Why would she do something to Wills?" Buffy asked.
Angel's answer was drowned out by screeching tires and blaring music. Holding up his duster from the sun, Spike darted into the house slamming the door.
"Where is she?" He hissed.
Buffy stepped up to him, fists clenching and unclenching. "You. You are the reason my best friend was subjected to whatever hell your insane slut of an ex-girlfriend gave her! You are the reason she..." Buffy lunged at him, angrily muttering and swearing.
Spike caught her, spinning her, pinning her arms and exposing her neck. "Listen for the last time Slayer. Come between me and Willow and I will make you sorry. Take out your emotional problems on me, and I will bloody kill you."
"She's upstairs." Angel growled.
Spike nodded, released the Slayer and rushed upstairs. Giles looked up startled, as Spike burst into the room. Spike groaned softly, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"I'm sorry Red." He whispered, touching her face.
"Erhm, I'm going to check on the tea." Giles mumbled, retreating.
Spike nodded and stripped, climbing in bed with his redhead, holding her tight. <I should've been here, she can't face things alone...so fragile..> Spike buried his face in Willow's neck, unwilling to let himself think about what could've happened if Dru....<I'm not going to think about it....now if I could only forget the poof undressing my girl...>Growling the blonde vampire squeezed his witch closer.
Willow awoke from the nightmare, sitting straight up in bed. She was at the mansion, in Angel's bed, with Spike. He opened his eyes immediately, watching her.
"Red?" he asked.
Willow turned slightly, seeking his comfort. Spike wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair.
"I'm a coward. I'm such a coward that I got sick with fright!" Willow complained.
"Dru's a bit much." Spike supplied.
Willow pushed herself back from Spike's shoulder. "A bit much? She..she.." She stared into his eyes, trying to see if Dru's words rung true.
Spike reached up and touched her face. "What is it?" He asked.
"N-n-nothing." Willow sighed.
Spike saw the confusion in her eyes, a turmoil she didn't want to share.Stroking her face softly, he captured her lips in a tender kiss, and gently made love to her.
Drusilla moaned. "Still burns the flame does...still casts brightness upon the darkness...NO!!!" her fists crashed down on a empty mirror.
"Mistress." The one word was almost silent.
"Flame must die...flames burn...." She turned to her demon lover.
He regarded her with adoration.
"Love me?" She asked in a sing song voice.
He reached for her, rewarded with her cool hand against his cheek. "You know I do Mistress. Anything for you. Anything." He vowed.
A cold sanity returned to Drusilla's eyes. "Kill her." She barked, walking away. "Tea and cakes Ms. Edith? Yes, Princess's Dark Prince will come back, and we shall dance in shadows on soft Earth..." She sang.
The chaos demon sighed. The witch had to be killed.
Spike watched his girlfriend as she went through the motions of brushing her hair. Her hand moved automatically, not even looking at the reflection that stared back at her so mournfully. Willow sighed, her brow knit in thought.
* I still don't understand whats going on. All of this... internal conflict, emptiness, and none of it stems from Spike. He has been so good to me lately...*
Spike watched her go for another pass with her brush. Getting up he took the brush from her hand and gently stroked his fingers through her red locks.
"Do you need to talk?" He asked softly, rubbing her neck. She wasn't Dru, he couldn't just bring her a doll or a dress.
Willow relaxed against his hand. "I want to Spike, but...do you ever have some things, you're just too afraid to share? Too afraid to let out, for fear they'll come true?" She whispered.
Spike nodded, tilting her face up to stare into his eyes. "Baby, I wish you'd at least give me an inkling, I feel..."
Willow turned. "Helpless." She whispered.
Spike just nodded, kneeling down to hold her face. "Please Red. Don't leave me alone again."
Willow sniffled, wiping away a tear. "Drusilla, told me somethings, that she had seen. That she foresaw to be coming true. Envolving me and you." She mumbled.
"Bad? Good?" Spike prompted.
Willow bit her lip. "They scared me. The things you...were doing...she said I could never tame the demon...and..."She took a deep breath. "It was all bad things that I never want to face. Never want to see, but I'm afraid that she's right. They are going to come true. But I don't know how, I don't know when." She finished.
Spike kissed her lips softly. "Its okay Red. Its ok. Thats why you have been having nightmares. You've been seeing them." Willow nodded. "I wish you had told me sooner." He whispered, holding her to him.
"I-I I was so afraid Spike. Have you ever been afraid to loose what you just got?" She asked.
Spike smiled and touched her face. "All the time, pet, all the time."
She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "I'm going to call Buffy."
He nodded. "I'm going out for a bit."
Willow grinned again, hugging him close. "Thank you Spike."
He kissed her quickly. "Its what I'm here for."
Spike dropped the body in the alley, a rare show of Angelus-ish gore coming out in his killing. He was angry that Drusilla would hurt his gentle Willow who had nothing to harm or maim, but herself. He may have been overprotective of Drusilla, but thats nothing compared to what flamed up in him when he thought of Willow. She was mortal, fragile. Weak even, but she still was his. She had hit a nerve within him when she said that if he was afraid to loose what he just got.
"Every day Red." He murmured. *What in Satan's name am I going to do if she dies? Go bloody insane.* He growled. It scared him, him, William the Bloody, scourge of Europe, child of Angelus, Master of Sunnyhell, scared of loosing a mortal. Of losing the most important thing in his unlife since a undead Vampiress.
~Part: 7~
Willow was asleep when Spike walked back into the apartment. He stripped his clothes off, crawling in beside her. He felt so peculiar all of a sudden. His senses twinged, and he sat up, growling.
"You've gone weak William the Bloody." Drusilla purred, rubbing herself against the door frame.
Spike watched her intoxicating movements. She always drew him to her, and he never had resisted. <Bloody bint> Spike reasurringly placed his hand on Willow.
"Soft, feel, purr. Kitty cat stroke, love no lust Spike, no death. I brought excitment, come back Spike. I am alone, the walls don't whisper..all is silent." Drusilla moaned, holding out her arms.
"I'm not coming back Dru." He said.
She showed her demon face, elliciting a reaction in him that he tried to ignore. "She has all the warmth of the sun her dark soul still clings to the light, she cannot be turned...does not wish to...and you cannot bear her as a tortured soul, she ages, she feels, she will be broken. She will DIE!" Dru screeched.
Spike growled a warning. "You hurt her in anyway Dru..."
"LOVE!" Drusilla gasped, staring at him in fright.
"We see it in your soul.." She whispered.
"I have no bloody soul."Spike snorted.
"Not a vampire! Not my Spike!" Dru moaned.
"Drusilla!" Spike groaned.
"She has enticed to warmth, she will die Spike, she cannot be protected...you will kill her...and she will be cold. Untouched." Drusilla's stalked near her former lover, wiping her eyes dramatically, before she slipped out the balcony doors.
Spike leaned back, holding Willow close to him.
"I love you Spike." Willow mumbled in her sleep.
Spike stared down at her. He was a vampire. She was Willow..she looked away as he fed..she was frightened by his violent side...she was life itself. He kissed her forehead. "I love you too Red." He whispered.
"You've been dreaming?" Giles asked Willow.
Willow squeezed Spike's hand. "Yes."
"That was the episode in the mansion?" Angel inquired.
Willow nodded. "Dru visited me last night in the apartment."
Willow looked at Spike in suprise. "She did?" She asked.
"She made threats. And I know she's been having someone follow us."
Willow sat back, biting her slip slightly. The vampire slid his arm around her shoulders, stroking the muscles softly. * Why didn't he tell me?!*
"Vampire?" Buffy asked.
"No."
"Then what other type of icky could be we dealing with?" Xander asked.
Angel just rolled his eyes. "Begin naming icky things." He murmured.
Xander just gave him a blank stare.
"The chaos demon." Spike supplied.
"How do you know?" Giles asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"Let me guess...what could Dru control....a lover, and choas demons aren't reallly known for their intelligence."
"The demon it is." Buffy grinned, shouldering her crossbow.
"We kill the thingie tonight?" Xander asked.
"Dead as a...um..demon." Buffy bit her lip.
"Good...we'll leave Willow here with Giles and.." Spike stood up.
"No." Willow murmured.
"Whats that pet?" Spike asked.
She looked him straight in the eye. *Sure Spike, I'll leave you to fraternize with your ex-girlfriend...again.* "No. You're not leaving me behind. The Choas Demon wants me, andyou guys can't hunt the right demon without the right bait." She said. *I've got a point, and he knows it!*
Spike shook his head. "Watch me. You're staying here. In safety." <Where she can't hurt you...please...Red don't force this.>
Willow crossed her arms, glaring. "And what, so the BIG BAD can fight my battle for me? I may be mortal SPIKE...but I have lived my 18 years of life without much trouble! If I don't go....."
"Shit...look out Spike..we got the resolve face going." Xander supplied.
Spike grit his teeth. <Can't hurt the whelp, concentrate on Willow. > "You could be hurt." He whispered, ignoring Angel smirking at him.
"There is no way in hell I'm letting your exgirlfriend scare me off. I'm going Spike thats it."Willow argued. "I'm not as fragile as I look!" She raised her eyebrow expectantly.
Spike let out a breath of air. "No." He said with some finality.
*Fine, you want it like this...* "Spike if you don't let me go with you I'm going to come anyways, following you guys...alone, through the night, alone, to get to wherever, alone, possibly meeting Drusilla, alo-"
Spike got the point rather quickly. "You'll stay behind me, and if there is trouble, I'm getting your ass out of there, no looking back at the rest of these ponces."
"Makes you feel all fuzzy inside at his caring about our welfare right?" Xander stage whispered to Buffy.
Willow glared at Xander, but she rewarded Spike with a smile. "Ok." She said, kissing him.
Spike took her hand, and avoided Angel's smug look.
"Master Vampire?" Angel asked.
"Shut up Angelus before I cut off your only means of sexual satisfaction." Spike glared, tapping Angel's hand.
"Ok, then! Into darkness! Demon hunting we shall go!" Buffy crowed cheerfully.
Spike nodded grimly, holding tight to Willows hand, every nerve in his demonic body on edge.
~Part: 8~
Willow stepped back, frightened by the sudden appearance of the vampires. The search for the Chaos Demon had been slow going, and until now there had been nothing even making noise.
*The only way that could've happened is...* Willow looked next to her, noting Spike tensing for the fight. *Its a trap.* She realized, paling.
Angel and Buffy leaped into action, Spike thrust her behind him, yelling for her to start running to safety. She turned to run, and smacked into something sticky and gooey.
"Ugh."She groaned, looking up.
The Choas Demon grinned at her, his antlers dripping the grimy sludge that covered all of his body."You cause my Mistress much pain Red witch." He gurgled. His arms descended around her, pulling her closer into his liquid embrace.
"SPIKE!" Willow screamed, her legs kicking out.
The Slayer and Vampires whipped their heads around, the fledglings took that as their cue to run.
The demon grinned at Spike. "You do not belong to her. Return to your Princess. She screams your name..." He chortled, the demon's mouth descending upon Willow's.
She struggled, trying to avoid the slime dripping mouth. His lips touched hers, and the mucus dripped down her windpipe.
"NO!" Spike yelled.
The trio ran forward, stopped by a protection barrier. Drusilla giggled in the darkness...whispering words before she slid away into the darkness.
"Damn IT!" Buffy screamed, punching and kicking against the protection spell.
"WILLOW!" Spike yelled, his face pressed to the field. "FIGHT IT RED! FIGHT IT!"
The world was swimming, Willow felt herself sinking slowly deeper and deeper. The liquid dripped into her body, burning and tearing, stealing the very oxygen she struggled to inhale. She vaguely heard her name being shouted, all she wanted to do was rest..just for a small while.To let the silence claim her and the war inside her die.She sighed...and relaxed.
The Chaos Demon dropped the limp witch, his mucus dripping from the side of her mouth. "So it is done." He grinned, and dissapeared.
The spells effects vanished, and the witch's friends surrounded her.
"She doesn't have a pulse." Angel mumured.
Spike stroked her pale face. "No." He whispered. He couldn't loose her. What else could he do?
"No!" Buffy shouted, reaching for her friend. She began rapid repitions on her chest. "Dammit Willow. You can't leave. You can't!!!" Scraping mucus from her mouth, Buffy tried to force air into her best friends lungs.
Tears dripped down to the moist ground. "Red." Spike choked. So helpless to assist the human he...loved...if she had been stronger, if they both had understood. If...if this had never happened if he had not loved her Drusilla would have never harmed her. "No." William the Bloody whispered.
Willow choked, lurching forward, emptying her airway of slime.
"YES!" Buffy and Angel shouted.
Willow's eyes met Spike's and she threw herself into his arms.
"Willow." He whispered, stroking her face, kissing her cheek.
"I...I almost didn't get to tell you...I love you Spike..I love you. I don't ever want to loose you." She rasped.
Spike froze.< She loves me.> She loved him and she had just died and returned to him. His mortal love. He helped her to her feet, stroking her hair. He was a vampire. She was human. She would die, and a vampire she would not wish to be. No soul would mean she wouldn't be his Willow. She had died, and he had been there to protect her. She smiled at him, rejoicing in his nearness.
It had been a week since Willow died, and Spike felt as if everything was balanced upon the thin eggshells of his lover's mortality. The Scooby Gang had commented how the vampire had been come irate lately at the smallest things, refusing to let her patrol, snapping at the Gang whenever they let her alone for minutes.
*C'mon Spike...I'm right here.* Willow squeezed his hand as they walked back to the dorm buildings. *You gotta wake up baby...Buffy is just going to stake you for being annoying.* When she realized he wasn't going to respond to her squeeze, she sighed and looked down at the cement.
<She still didn't understand...I am everything she isn't....I'm death...she is life...> Unaware of her effort to get his attention,he stole side glances at the woman beside him. Spike intook each of her features that he loved. The way she bit her lip, the way her eyes sparked. The way her hair fell onto her cheek. That giggle she did in the morning when he stretched like a cat. The way she curled against him as they slept, the way they made love, and the way they fucked like wild animals. The way she loved him. He would miss it. He walked her up to her room, knowing that the building would keep her safe, and that his actions tonight would keep her out of any more danger forever.
"Willow..." He whispered.
She looked up and smiled again. "Yeah?"
"I....I have to leave." He whispered.
"Ok. I'll see you later?" She asked.
<So innocent Red> "No. I'm leaving. For good. I can't...stay. Not...with you...It was all my fault, I shouldn't have, I can't.." He straightened. <Acting like the Poof I am a demon for Fuck sake!> "I am a vampire. You're a human. Things don't work out. You're just a child. So grow up. We're through." He turned, and fled, trying not to see the tears that would follow his departure, and maybe, she wouldn't see his.
Willow gripped the doorframe. "No." She moaned.
It had been weeks since he had fled from her, he still watched her, still could feel her in his arms, her scent on his sheets. He felt empty. Drusilla had reappeared on his doorstep, and he rejoiced in the distraction. But still, she lingered.
"We leave tommorrow Dru." He mentioned.
His Dark Godess smiled. "I know Spikey....we shall dance..and sing..and be free....no more red witch!" She giggled, dancing around.
"Yeah. I'm goin' out." He lit a ciggarette.
"Fetch me a pretty little thing..." Drusilla asked.
"Sure pet."
Drusilla gazed at the paintings on Spike's walls. "I'll drive her from your mind Spikey, Princess will make sure she torments you no more."
The kill had been easy, a quick departure of blood and the body hit the pavement. He turned to see Willow watching him He took a deep drag of his ciggarette, and sneered. Inside he wept. Her deep drawn face, angry, hungry eyes. She was wearing black. From head to toe, to the shadows painted around her eyes. She strode forward.
<Please Red, put me from my misery.>
She stared at him for a moment, ignoring the stench of nicotine that once upset her acute senses.
*You.* She growled internally. Willow grabbed him, angry. "WHY SPIKE?"
Spike growled. She had to make things so difficult. "Because, I said SO. Because I'm a vampire. Because you're nothing but flesh and blood. Because I couldn't stay." He hissed, holding her arms tight.
Willow drew in a sharp breath, her anger barely contained. Her green eyes flashed fire. "You're a fucking coward." She whispered.
Spike squeezed her arms forcing her back. "WHAT?" he roared.
"You...are...a MOTHER FUCKING COWARD!!!!" Willow screamed, hot, hatefull tears running down her face.
"No LUV, I am this." Spike kissed her roughly, biting his own tongue, then hers, letting their blood mingle with their tongues. He pulled away, watching the blood trickle from the corner of her mouth.
"When you can bare to see that spilled, when you can bear to accept it for what it is. Life... and life ending, then you can accept me."
Willow looked up at him, touching her fingers to her mouth. She stared at the blood on her fingertips. It was cooling, and it tasted sweet. She looked up to see the shadows, and Spike's retreating form. Closing her fist Willow breathed deeply.
"Blood is survival. Survival." She turned on her heel, and walked away.
~Epilogue~
Willow watched the rain drops fall against the window pane of her new apartment. The boxes were still lined against the walls, the baking soda, still unopened in the fridge. She sighed softly, and stared at her reflection in the glass. *So weak, fragile, coward, montonous.* The adjectives invaded her mind. She had bent too much to the will of others, to her own perceptable faults. She didn't understand? She couldn't comprehend death and life? Fine. It was enough. It was time for a change. New life surged through her veins, a beat she could not deny. Willow would be the same, no longer. Drusilla smiled in her sleep, snuggling closer to Spike. Her Spike had been returned to her. She was his Princess. She wrinkled her nose, moaning softly. Visions danced in her head. Words whispered. Pain.
"It hurts." She whimpered.
She didn't like these visions. They were from the light, the one the witch worshiped had invaded Princess's dark mind. Her voice assumed a sudden clarity.
"Kept from the flame spurned by the fire...she shall weep alone, cold, till deaths demon joins her as lover....bring restoration to a wrong held high...escape into darkness...from tormented eyes held by the godess above...all shall be broughts to rights again..when she returns to hell upon earth...love brought to equality..from darkness..she returns..flame to fire...sun to night..." Drusilla closed her eyes, going limp, whimpering.
"No." She whispered, falling asleep.