Rating: PG (for implied masturbation)
Ship : Willow/Spike
Summary: Willow has to save the Scoobies, but she didn't save them like she thought she was going to...
Disclaimer: I don't own them.Joss etc do.
Distribution: If you would like, just let me know.
Note: This is pure silly/happyfic. Don't ask how I got the idea!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
"Look mister whatever-the-heck you are..."
"Belvere Demon, pet..." Spike threw in, watching from his position against the bar.
"Mister Belvere Demon! I've had just about enough of this this...darn wild goose chase across the hellmouth! I want to know where..."
"Better get specifics Red." Spike murmured, picking at his black nail polish. <Be here for bloody hours the way she's goin'. Hell, the demon will be beggin' me to hit him by the time she's done bloody talkin' to him!>
"I want to know where EXACTLY you're keeping my friends!" Willow stopped for a minute. *Tough Rosenberg, Tough....* She started poking the demon in what she assumed was its stomach.
"And I'm not going to take no for an answer. You're going to tell," *POKE* ,"me," *POKE* ,"exactly", *poke*, "where", *poke*, "they", *poke*....
Spike grabbed her wrist sharply, pulling Willow against him. <Bloody hell chit.> "Don't poke him!" He snarled.
The vampire motioned at the Belvere Demon, where his stomach seemed to be expanding quite rapidly, pulsing with veins.
"Why..." Willow asked, staring fascinated at the purply-creatures abdomen, looking back up into its eyes, which seemed to be looking everywhere but her. It gurgled suddenly, twisting away as its stomach area exploded with green goo, and repaired itself in a matter of seconds, only leaving the veins to slowly pulse. Willow heard the Bartender from behind the bar curse in a multiple of languages, grabbing a mop. Willow looked back up to the demon, it seemed to be breathing hard, and its eyestalks avoided her form. It gurgled in a language to Spike, who broke out into laughter. The Belvere Demon rose up, and stalked out of the bar.
"Wh-wh-what just happened here? Why are you letting him go? Why did his stomach explode?" Willow waved her hands around, not even realizing that her finger was still pointed, prepped for demon pok-age.
<Bugger...she has no idea.> Spike reigned in his mirth, and cleared his throat. "What exactly were you doing pet?"
Willow looked dumbfounded. "I was....interrogating him! He looked like the demon I saw that took the rest of the Scoobies..."
<All right....time for question number two...> "Where did you think you were poking him Red?"
*What type of stupid question is that?* "In the stomach of course!!" She replied indignantly.
Slowly, Spike shook his head back and forth.
"Not...in...the stomach?" Willow asked slowly. Her eyes widened slowly. "Oh goddess!" She gasped.
Spike laughed until his side hurt. The witch had turned about as green as the goo that the Belvere had spurted. "Not all creatures have their cocks between their legs Red. You were poking him in all the right places." He chuckled.
Willow did the only thing she could do. She turned red, and sputtered. "I just...oh my goddess...I just...he...and I was responsible...all over the bar...in front of everyone...and...and...oh my goddess!" She buried her face in her hands.
Spike turned around, looking twords the entrance to the shadowy establishment. " Cheer up ducks,it may have been worth it." He murmured.
"Worth it!? How the hell was that...." Willow looked up, her eyes widening further. The Belvere demon had re-entered, with three conscious, struggling, cursing humans in his tentacles. He gingerly placed the Scoobies at Willows feet, all eye stalks turned reverentially at her face. Xander, Buffy, and Giles stilled for a moment, wondering just what the hell was going on.
The Belvere sputtered, gurgled, motioning wildly with his tentacles. He stopped for a moment, expecting an answer from the redhead.
"Um, thank you?" Willow murmured, not sure what exactly to say.
The demon responded by poking her in the stomach, then fleeing the establishment.
"What the hell just happened?" A very unhappy Slayer shrilled from her position on the floor, squishing about in the green goo on the floor.
"Willow just got thanked." Spike laughed.
"For what?" Xander asked, scratching his head.
"He just delivered us straight to her, Willow, what did you offer to the demon in exchange for us?" Giles asked, interested.
"I uh...uh..."
"And just what did he say?"Buffy snipped.
"Um..well...uh.. I don't speak his language Buff, so I couldn't tell you, well its been a great night, so how about all the Scoobies go to bed, yupp, had enough kidnapping for you guys, off to bed with ya...not another word...."
"I understand his language." A very smug Spike said.
Willow turned to the vampire, her face pale white. "You wouldn't...."
"What'll ya give me not to Witch?" The vampire taunted.
"My...my undying respect."
"Not good enough.You're not the undying type." Spike grinned, turning back to the gang, who had regained their footing. "Red here seemed to have impressed the demon so well that he gave ya up." He mentioned casually.
"What did you give him? Not a spell, surely..." Giles murmured, almost racking his brain.
"She got him off." Spike succinctly chuckled.
"Off where?" Xander asked.
"Off git, off as in the juices your ass was sittin' in came out of a demon's testicles." Spike grinned.
Xander jumped six feet into the air, racing from the bar in a very Shaggy-like fashion.
"Willow you didn't!" Buffy gasped, her face full of horror.
"Surely Buffy she couldn't have, Willow would never have...."
"I...I...I kinda did..."Willow whispered, her face blushing even more.
"Really well it seems from how quickly the demon retrieved you buggers from his lair."
"My God!" Buffy clasped Giles, swooning, as they helped each other back slowly away from the redhead, running out after Xander.
"You bastard." Willow hissed.
"Well pet, you saved the day...shouldn't you be proud?" Spike arched his eyebrow.
"I can't believe you TOLD THEM!"
"Hell you should be proud, Belvere Demons are awfully hard to get off...not many people know how to touch 'em just right."
"I don't CARE...that was so....they are?" Willow stopped, looking incredulously at the vampire sitting across from her.
"Yeah. Wouldn't be surprised if ya were worshiped by that bugger for the rest of his life."
"Oh. Well...I..."Willow bit her lip. *I can't believe all of this....* She sighed loudly. Spike interrupted her thoughts.
"Kinda makes me wonder tho' pet."
"About what?" She asked absently.
"If you can work your magic on a demon like that, what would you do to a demon like me?" Spike grinned his sexy-est grin leaning close to her.
"WHAT!? I can't...I uh! Uh Uh!! AHHH!" Willow hopped off the bar stool, running out of the bar.
Spike laughed out loud again, heading out after her, watching the flame red hair race through the night. <Magic indeed.> He told himself, running into the night after her.
Neither of them noticed a purple demon leaning against the brick wall outside, rubbing his stomach in a satisfied manner.
~Part: 2~
Willow paced her bedroom floor.
*'If you can work your magic on a demon like that, what would you do to a demon like me?' HAH! Magic is bad! Especially that kind of magic....* Willow paused, bit her lip and then continued pacing.
*I wonder what type of magic Spike has....NO WILLOW BAD! Spike has no magic...he's a vampire..grrr..bitey...the 'mmm your neck smells good' vampire* This caused the witch to pause again.
*He thought my neck smelled good. Isn't that a vampire compliment? Aww...no no no!* Willow hit the 'power' button on her stereo hoping to drown out her thoughts with music.
A slow beat soothed her nerves. *This is nice and soothing.*
"In her place one hundred candles burning..."
*Candles are nice...calming...*
"The salty sweat drips from her breasts..."
*Nice...breathing...huh? Breasts? Wha-*
"Her hips move and I can feel what they sayin'...swayin.."
*Swaying....oh no...*
"They say the beast inside of me is going to get ya...yeah..."
*Beast....getting...* Willow's breathing quickened dramatically, as she got the image of Spike leaping upon her in the dark, his feral growls encouraging her moans....
*NEW MUSIC!!!!*
The happy beat of a Brittney Spears song bounced vivaciously over the stereo.
"All you people look at me like I'm a little girl.."
*Right on sister, little girl nothing...we're big we're bad...scary...grrr like Sp..pay attention to the music WILLOW!* In her effort to distract herself Willow tried catch up to the words of the chorus.
"I'm a slaaavvvveeee for you....I'm a sllllaaaavvvveeeee for you..."
*Oh I know who I'd love to be a slav-*
"WILLOW GET A GRIP!" She shouted at herself, wrenching the dial on the sound system. It squawked in protest before settling on a station.
"It's gettin' hot in here...so take off all your clothes..." *OH I don't think so...* The radio squealed again.
"Hey mister...I really like your daughter....I'd like to eat her like ice cream...maybe dip her in chocolate..."
*Ohh...being dipped in chocolate...mmm white chocolate-y Spi-...One more time ROSENBERG!*
Taking a deep breath, and her sanity in hand, Willow once more turned the knob on her sound system.
"I'm NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE!"
"Oh hellfire and BRIMSTONE!!" Willow hit the off button, collapsing on her back onto her bed.
She fluffed her pillow.
She turned onto her back.
She sat up, closing her eyes, clenching her fists.
*Spike is not chocolate-y...he is not my Master...he is not a beast...he is not sexy...he is not nummy...he is not...repeat it willow...he is not fuck-able.*
"'Ello Luv."
Luminous green eyes snapped open, zeroing in on the open balcony doors, Willow looked into Spike's smirking ice blue eyes. Ice blue eyes, firm cheekbones...equally firm ass, chest....
*Ohhhh...sooo.... fuck-able.*
~Part: 3~
Spike tilted his head to the side, pursing his sexy pouty lips, resisting the urge to purr.<Pose one of seduction-completed. Onto Sexy Conversation, version 2002!>
Willow opened, closed, and opened her mouth again. "Ohhh..." Her tongue stole along her bottom lip. *Did I just moan outloud? Great...great...*
"I believe its your turn pet."
"My...my ...uh, turn?" Willow stammered.
"I said, 'ello luv. Its still your turn to say something in return. Something like...." The vampire bit his lip in a parody of the redhead.
"Oh...Spike you intense form of manly vampiric darkness...please fill me with your naughty big badness." He commented in falsetto.
Willows blush deepened further *I'm going to stay this color...I swear...*
"I...I...don't need to be filled with any big badness...and and..I don't sound like that!" She squeaked.
"Are you sure you don't need to be filled....stretched....there is a reason they call me the big bad..."
"SPIKE!" Willow screeched.
"Well that too, but the Spike part came before Big Bad....and 'course you're dead-on with screamin' my name Red."
"ARGH!"
"Nope, normally its a deep satisfied 'ungh' after you've screamed." He stated matter-of-factly.
*I'm gonna...pass out...this is....ungh ....why does he have to be so nummy...why can't..oh oh oh oh...damn sexy vampires..damn sexy vampires...*
Unbeknownst to Willow, she had been repeating the previous outloud.
"Language Witch...tsk tsk tsk....someone needs to be spanked for the naughtyness."
Willow's eyes went wide. "Spanked?" She gasped.
Spike nodded slowly, crossing the threshold, slinking across the carpet, his coat billowing behind him. <Sensual preditor walk-check.>
"Spanked....and filled...and stretched..."
Willow bolted over her bead. *Oh goddess...oh goddess...Spike is in my bedroom, talking about spankage....*
"N-no no. Now Spike...your chip is malfunctioning...probably a pathway override or something....maybe an overflow of..."
"Desire...need...lust...carnal cravings...."
"YES! WAIT! NO, no no no no!"
Spike paused, notcing her retreat, he grinned. "That was a yes pet...a very enthusiastic yes."
"There was no yes-ing....nope not from this safe, non-sexable witch...oh! Did I tell you I like girls? Yupp..girly-liking Willow...sorry that you've been dissapointed..."
The Big Bad cocked a eyebrow at her. "Who says I'm dissapointed?"
"Uh...welll..." Willow stammered.
Spike grasped her arms, pulling her close, nuzzling her neck suddenly. "Quite the opposite pet..."
The hairs on the back of the redhead's neck stood on end. Spike traced the outline of her ear nipping it.
<Breathing faster, clasping me close....ohhh and that smell...oh yeah she wants me>
"In fact, it just turns me on more...opens up our options in the future." He purred in her ear.
"Options?" Willow mumbled incoherently. *Goddess don't stop touching me...don't stop...please don't stop...*
Spike leaned back, his blue eyes locked with her green ones. "Options." He whispered sensually. His meaning dawned on the hacker-cum-witch with a suddeness that can only be described by smell. "And ones that your open to apparently." The vampire smiled, obviously sniffing the air.
"Ohhh yes...wait wait wait...."She stepped back....shaking her head. *No no no Willow...vampires are bad, bad...sexy creatures...big bad? Spike...oh goddess...is that how he really got that nickname? Think Rosenberg...think Synder in a thong....synder in a thong...*Willow looked up into Spikes eyes, his tongue snaked out, licking the curve of her mouth. *GILES IN A THONG WITH BUFFY'S MOM....*
Spike traced his fingers up her arms, backing her up as he did so.
"Sp...spike." Willow whimpered as his hands gripped her backside.
"Red." He commented huskily.
"I..I.."She stammered.
"C'mon say it Willow."
"I have to go to the bathroom?"She asked.
"Bloody what?" Spike's eyes went wide.
"I have to go to the bathroom?" Willow asked again. *Never ever ever think of Joyce in a thong again with Giles..ewww*
Spike stared at her incredulously. <Thats a prattling human for you...>
"Uh. Sure." He released her.
"Thanks..."Willow turned, intent on heading for the safety of the toilet.
<Fucking hell...what a mood spoiler..>Spike turned dramatically, only to smack straight into the entertainment center,more accurately the stereo.
"Bloody fucking..."
"Oh..Spike are you okay?" Willow turned him to her, concerned. The stereo leaped to life merrily.
"Hey pretty...don't you wanna take a ride with me...through my world...hey pretty don't ya wanna take a ride with me ...through my world? Do ya get the gist of the song now....Hey pretty..."
*Ohhhh...pretty...*
<Ride..hell ya...>
"Spike.."Willow hoarsley gasped.
"Will-" Willow's mouth covered Spike with her's, kissing him with a ferocity that she didn't know that she had.
<This is more like it!>
*Ohhh Spike is a nummy treat...*
Thud. Ripping of Clothes.Crickets.
"UNGH!"
"I told you there would be an UNGH!"
"ARRGHHHH!"
~Part: 4~
"Hey Wills." Xander said, poking her as he walked by.
Willow grit her teeth, concentrating on measuring the coffee in front of her.
"Hey Wills." Xander repeated, walking by her again, poking her.
*Third cup, fill the water to...*
POKE. "Hey Will..."
Willow whirled around, dumping the grains of java onto her best friends head. "XANDER HARRIS!" She growled.
Said best friend stared open mouthed at her, shocked. As did the rest of the customers at the Espresso Pump.
"Willow!" Her manager chided, motioning for them to clean up the coffee grounds that went everywhere.
"Uh..sorry Elaine." Willow mumbled grabbing a rag.
Xander leaned over, staring at her. "Whats with you?" He asked.
"You were poking me!" Willow hissed.
"I always poke you." Xander said fetching the dustpan.
*Oh god...that sounds so bad...*
"No one can poke me...not anymore."Willow said firmly.
"Thats a shame pet, you have the perfect body to poke." A blond vampire leaned over the counter, his patented sexy smirk right where it belonged.
"I don't poke her 'cause of that Spike...I've just always poke Wills, I mean ya walk by and 'poke', walk by again and 'po-"
"XANDER!"Willows face flamed red. *He does not poke me, no one has poke...uh Spike has...wait..its just poking and not...arggh*
"We're not talking about just poking are we?" Xander asked.
"Were you not kidnapped a last night?" Spike asked, sipping his espresso distastefully.
"Yah." The git answered.
"Remember the green ass go from the Belvere demon?" Spike encouraged.
"Yeah that was nasty. WAIT! Poking started that! Willow!!" Xanders face turned a interesting shade of green, which looked again, like-oh nevermind...Spike decided it was in his best interest to have a satisfying smoke outside, especially from the glares that he was recieving from his delicious redhead.
*Goddess, just a toad, just a small toad...would you really punish me for that?*Willow turned her face to the heavens, dumping the rest of the grounds into the garbage. She looked at the clock, nodded at her boss and escaped to the back of the store. Xander had in the meantime, rushed over to the sink, rinsing his hands.
The witch sighed painfully, removed her apron, grabbed her small messenger bag and went out the back way to the store. She turned to relock the door, when she felt something poke her stomach. Growling she closed her eyes and turned.
"Xander I've had quite eno-"
A purply tenticled demon stood there gurgling at her. "Oh. Its you."
The demon burbled, and poked her in the stomach. "Eh, yeh...ha ha...yup that sure was fun last night..." *What the hell does he want.*
Belvere demon rubbed its belly, and spit. "What?" Willow asked. *Does a stake work on this thing...holy water? Lipgloss?*
The demon looked at her expectantly, then sputtered to something behind him. Three other Belvere demons emerged from the darkness, all rubbing their bellies.
Realization dawned on the redhead. "OH NO! There is no way I'm about to be gangbanged...or gangbang you...or..or...there WILL BE NO POKAGE!"
The demon from the bar paused, his eye stalks waving around. He seemed to be thinking. "Marght." He rasped, from a mouth that looked like it was only used for vacuuming.
"Sorry, what?" Willow asked, clutching her bag.
"Mart."
"Around the corner."
"Maht." It repeated.
"Waitafrigginminute! I'm not going to be your mate."
The Belvere shook its stalks.
"Oh good, well now thats cleared up, you guys can poke yourselves and I'll be on my merry way."
"Maht. Alz." The creature motioned to the rest of the clutch. They approached, rapidly poking Willows stomach.
"Ooof.No...no no no..No mate..not for you not for all...I AM NOT A FUCK TOY!" Willow yelped.
"But your so damn fuckable." A british voice purred from the darkness. Spike stepped out of a shadow, sending the tenticles of the Belvere's in a frenzy.
"Spike!" Willow cried, happy to see him. *Oh sexy cheekbones boy is gonna save me...mmm..cheekbones..ass..sexy all over...uh...situation happening here Willow, right right...demons..mating ickkkk*
"You definetly know how to scream it now, huh baby?" He couldn't resist taunting her.
"Y'know I'll be happy to tease you right back, turn red or giggle, but we have a situation right now..."
"Right." Spike singled out the demon from the previous night. "Look mate, my girl isn't gonna go back with ya to the sea...so quit the Creature From the Black Lagoon routine, and I'll let ya live."
The Belvere responded with multiple pokes to Willow's stomach. *I'm gonna bruise! I'd poke him back...well if he didn't like it...*
"I meant it ya piece of sushi...give her up or I'll..."
"Hey Wills you forgot your latte!" Xander swung open the employee door, smashing the lead demon behind it.
"Whats goin' on?" He asked, looking around.
"XANDER! Run inside, call Buffy...they're trying to kidnap me to be their.."
"Fuck toy." Spike inserted.
"Uh, right, so..." Xander turned around rapidly, and smacked into the door casing. The java went flying...and splashed in the midst of the Belvere demons.
Harsh squealing,gurgling, burbling,and gurumphling erupted from the purple beings, they rushed to-fro, back and forth....before plowing into each other -a la Marx brothers.
Willow stared at the unconcious beings at her feet, and looked back up at Spike, then at the unconcious Xander. *Okay.* She grinned mischeviously, picked up Xanders hand, curled his fingers into a fist, then extracted one finger. She placed that one finger on the stomach of the unconcious Belvere demon leader. Whistling, she stepped over their bodies to Spike, who was waiting with a grin.
"What was that for luv?" He asked, offering her his arm.
"Just for poking." Her eyes twinkled.
~~One hour later~~
"Ungh...oh goddess Spike...yes...right there...ungh...again...ohhh" Willow moaned as Spike collapsed on top of her.
"Almost can't believe this started with somethin' so little." He murmured, tracing his fingertips down her heaving, flushed ,naked stomach.
"Hmm?"Willow asked.
Spike poked her.
The witch looked at the vampire, and poked him back.
William the Bloody snarled, and returned the gesture.
Willow sat up, poked him, and straddled him, begining yet another temptuous coupling. So involved in this, the pair did not hear the far noise in the distance. A very pitulant...
"HALLLPPP! WILLOW! SPPIKKKEEE! OW...GODDAMNIT, STOP POKING ME!"
~~THE END~~
MORAL: Watch who you poke, you never know what it could cause!!