Pairing: W/S
Rating: NC17 (violence sex)
Disclaimer: Not owned by moi, if it was..well I wouldn't be writing right now, would I?
Summary: Ever wonder if that darkness that Willow channelled hadn't been something new?
Authors Note: This has not been beta'd PLEASE DON'T BE MAD!!
Dedication: For the Angels!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
"So did the big bad watcher punish ya good red?" Spike asked cockily from his perch in the tree's above Willows head.
Willow looked up from where she had been quietly reflecting on her crimes. In between these trees she killed a man...and...
"No." She murmured.
"No? Ya kill, and they welcome ya back with open arms." Spike's bark of a laugh lashed at Willow's emotions, she curled her fingers into a fist, and a breeze blew in the trees.
The vampire hopped down, swaggering tword her. "See, if I walk a smidgen outta line...." He clapped his hands in front of her face. "BAM....stake...Spikeys a dead vampire..." He laughed again.
Willow grit her teeth, the mocking voices swirling around in her mind once again.
You did it...
Silly little bitch.....
Do you want to be punished??
I don't know if I can ever look at her again....
You..killed....you killed....you killed....KILLED
"Did it feel good Red? Avenging someone already dead, someone who doesn't know what you've done for them?" Spike mocked, enjoying the aparent pain on the red heads face.
"Stop." A wind blew sharper.
"Or what...you'll flay me?" Spike crept closer,pushing a strand of hair from Willow's face. He brushed his face against hers, inhaling her scent, licking up her cheek. "But luv....I'd get off on that...."
Willow's fist came up, and she slammed Spike in the jaw, pushing him back. He broke into raucous laughter.
"Ohhh...Reds got a lil spark now....wats the matter witch? Afraid you'll like my dark words....afraid you're gonna like what I can show ya...."
Willow turned on her heel, her fists clenched, her breathing labored. Everything around her was humming, buzzing, whispering, screaming.
"STOP." She screamed.
"Being bad isn't anything to be afraid of."
Snap. It all snapped together with sudden clarity that registered into a volcanic electric response. Spike threw up his arms, protecting his sensitive eyes to the blinding light that assaulted his senses. Where Willow had been standing was a vortex of black...and deep throaty laughter. Willow stepped forth, her tresses a bright red, her eyes the damnable black of evil. She had shed the billowy clothes, standing proudly encased in black leather, her red talon-like nails still digging into her skin, dripping blood onto the earth, causing black thorns to grow around her.
"Afraid Spike?" She asked, stepping forward, enjoying the fear in the vampire's eyes as he took a step back.
"Yer...yer too afraid to be bad." Spike numbly defended himself, his baser insticts screaming for him to shut the bloody hell up.
"Oh no...the fear...the fear that I always gave off, the whimperings, the pleadings? Oh Gods above, entreatys to remain in the dark, to keep that fuzzy exterior a little longer, to keep it all, just so I could grow stronger." Willow snapped her fingers, the vampire held in the grasp of the thorns, held up for her examination.
"The deaths? The screaming? The flaying? I enjoyed. I enjoyed it as I felt their bodies loosing that precious life giving energy, as I knew that I was the cause, and they would curse me for eternity. I rejoiced when I knew that inherent goodness of these pathetic mortal shells would forgive me, and try to help me....when in reality it is me they should run from. It is me they should be attempting to defeat, and it is me that will kill them all."
The vampire took a deep breath. He knew, somehow he had always known Red had it in her. "You're not gonna hurt me." He stated confidently.
Willow laughed, her inky black eyes flickering to green. "We shall see what you think 'hurting' is. And as you said, luv...."
Willow approached him, scenting his skin, licking up his neck into the contour of his ear.
"You get off on the flaying...." She licked her lips, turning once again on her heel.
The vines released the vampire, a cocky grin spreading across his face. "I intend to." He whispered.
Willow walked through the park, smiling, she motioned to Sunnydale, sending a mystical whisper to all evil creatures, promising, seducing, and rejoicing in the Hellmouth power.
"From beneath you it devours. From within it will destroy." She whispered.
~Part: 2~
"I don't understand Xander. This...all of this happening. I finally had to dig out those sedatives that the doctor gave me for...yes they are safe....yes! I gave one to Dawnie, just so she could sleep, she's so freaked out by what....yeah well I'd be freaked if I tried to cast out....uh-huh. Yeah, I should ask her that...." Buffy looked up from the phone just as Willow slipped in the door silently.
"Hey Xan, Wills is home from the library, I want to tell her about this. Yeah...thanks, night." Buffy hung up the phone watching her best friend survey the damage. "And we just had the bills paid off." She commented.
Willow looked up, her eyes wide at the chaos. "Wh-what happened?"
Buffy sighed, leaning back on the couch, and then sat up straight after remembering what Dawn had said about the way her mother had been laying on..."Uh...well its a long story." The Slayer interrupted her own thoughts.
Willow sat down next to her, her feet crunching slightly on the broken glass. "Tell me... thats what I'm here for."
Buffy smiled. "Thanks Will, I don't know what I'd do without you."
Willow crinkled her eyes slightly. "It would be the end of the world." She commented.
The blonde laughed. "Yeah, probably. Well...." The Slayer tried to explain as rationally as possible what had occurred to the youngest Summers.
Willow just tried to concentrate on being interested.
"Wills, are you okay?" Buffy's voice suddenly broke through her reverie.
"Oh...yeah, I'm sorry Buffy, I'm just...tired...strange things happened to me too at the library. Some big bad is really brewing."
The Slayer smiled sympathetically at her friend. "Don't worry, go to bed...the evil will be here in the morning."
Willow gave her a small smile, disappearing up the steps.
****
The witch awoke, her heart beating a cadence that threatened to send her back into unconsciousness.
"Goddess." she gasped, throwing back the covers, racing across the wood floor, tripping and landing against the full length mirror.
Willow pushed herself upright, looking through her splayed fingers at her shadowed eyes. "No..." She whispered.
The nights, the words spoken....she felt as if she was sinking into the depths, the interim of sunlight between dusk and sunrise shorter than ever. She had little time left, too soon and she would succumb, allow herself to be swallowed by the pulse of the night, to the seduction of beat, like any dancer forgetting anything but the music.
"No." The witch reaffirmed.
It is soon enough....
The voice whispered to her again.
"No." Willow allowed her forehead to sink against the glass, looking into her own eyes. They flashed black for a moment, and she spoke to herself.
"Like it or not little one...you have always been me, and I am always apart of you."
Willow shook against the cool of the glass, unable to break her own spell.
~Part: 3~
He had seen her, all in her fire and grace. Dancing through the dank
darkness just like his princess used to, underneath the stars, her long
dresses making a deep swishing sound. Spike closed his eyes for a moment,
remembering. She walked like....she danced like...the movements and grace
of both women reminding him of a deadly knife blade cutting through the
creamy skin of a mortal, the slow depth that revealed redness and fragility
beneath.
The vampire opened his eyes, inhaling through his nostrils as if he
could catch the scent of blood. He opted instead to inhale more smoke into
his already poisoned lungs. The exhaled nicotine swirled above him, traveling
upwards to the lit window that held the dark Goddess of the moment, the
toxic mind of perfection, the innocent who knew not of the deadly disease
that laid latent within her.
Poison took its time to kill sometimes, Spike mused as he walked back to his crypt. His footsteps created a beat, a rhythm....
Like the crescendo of a song, weaving around the airwaves, slowly rising
until its fevered pitch drove....
Spike held his head, the music becoming too loud. He crashed his skull
against the white of the tomb he used as his bed.
"Shhh shh..." He cried out. "Mummy will be mad if you are loud William....Mummy
will lock you up again...punish punish....shhh shh luv..."
A giggle pierced through the music. He looked up, his white marble skin
marred by blood.
"Want me to make it stop?"
She standing just above him, sitting along the gargoyles and saints.
"Wut the bloody 'ell you talkin' about?"
She traced her finger along the wings of the angel next to her, a deadly
smile painting her red lips. She was once again swathed in her deadly leather,
her bright green eyes seeming as black as her makeup. Gone was the hello
kitty, gone was the fuzzy that made her glow, now she hummed with coiled
power, ready to strike.Poisonous snake that would kill everything in its
grasp.
"The hurt...the voices swirling around within your mind. The insanity?
Do you want me to make it all stop?" Such a sensuous offer.
"Yer daft ducks." Spike turned away from her, refusing to be lured by
the siren. He had been a good Catholic.
Willow smiled a predators grin. She moistened her lips singing a soft
melody.
"You know I'm your willing slave. You just love to play the part that
you might misbehave...but I'm telling you, stop visiting my grave...."
Her song trailed off into a lyrical whistle.
Spike allowed a mediocre amount of surprise to escape his features,
and then he turned.
"How do you know 'bout that?"
A glint of fire appeared as Willow lit a clove, the illumination only
succeeding to make her gaze upon the souled vampire more threatening.
"What is it ex-Big Bad? Do you really wanna rest in peace?" Willow mocked,
running her tongue along the stone angel's lips.
The witch was needling him now...Spike narrowed his own eyes. "An you
have my cure luv?"
The redhead laughed, the darkness he often felt radiating around her
coloring her very sound.
"Do you want me to make it all stop Spike? Do you wanna be bad again?
Do you wanna feel it...the rush of the kill, the extermination of a mere
mortal's existence?"
She jumped from her precipice, slinking tword him.The yellow in Spike's eyes answered her question and she took another deep satisfied drag of her clove. Willow exhaled slowly, stepping into his body.
"Spike wants to be bad." She purred.
~Part: 4~
Her pebbled nipples stood out for all to see as she slid her way through the crowd, and her pants made a delightful screaming cry of leather protesting movement.
She sat down upon a stool, a breathless smile lighting her face. "Hey gang," she chirped.
Xander choked on his drink. "Wills?" he gasped.
"Uh, yeah?" Willow looked behind her, wondering if she tracked something in. 'Course, there was that embarrassing toilet paper on the heel incident...
"Leather, Willow?! I always figured you for a domme!" Anya giggled, staring yet again at her engagement ring.
"Uh, what?" Willow asked, confused.
"Your outfit?! I mean, Wills, uh, you look like,like," Buffy stammered.
"A vampire's delight," Spike's British purr sliced through the mortal banter.
"Only you would think this situation is funny!" Buffy snapped.
Willow stared down at herself. She didn't remember putting leather on, nor the see-through green shirt. *Goddess, not again!*
"I don't think it's funny Slayer, in fact, I think Red looks positively delicious," Spike leaned over, inhaling the scent of Willow's hair.
"Ack!" Xander yelped, the close proximity of Spike to his best friends neck in his category of 'not good'.
"What's wrong?" Anya asked, intrigued by the lost expression on Willow's face.
"Nothing, just," Willow knew she couldn't tell them that she didn't remember, that she couldn't, nor how often this had been happening, "I thought you guys would like my outfit."
"Oh, uh, well, its a great outfit," Buffy tried to save.
"It's just not something we'd expect from you," Xander blurted out.
"Maybe you should, Willow has great potential! You were absolutely great evil!" Anya smiled brightly.
"Evil?" Willow whispered.
They will discover who you truly are...who we have become...who Willow has always been.
"Anya! Look what you did!" Xander chided, noting the single tear sliding down his friends face.
"I didn't, I just was paying her a compliment!" Anya whined.
Willow inhaled a deep breath. "Its okay, really, I just, with the flayage, and, Tara being dead for two months today, you know?"
The group gasped collectively, with the exception of Spike, he just smirked.
"Oh, We're sorry!"
"That explains the leather!"
"We didn't think!"
Willow waved their comments off. "I need to walk, Spike?"
The vampire nodded. "Later, Scoobies," he tossed over his shoulder, a smirk settled deep into his features.
****
Willow stared at her reflection in the pool of water. Spike stood off to the side, watching her. She knew that he would not harm her, he was now a part of her, and he knew more than she did about herself.
"Who am I?" she asked herself.
The image in the pool blinked, and gained black eyes. "Who we have always been."
Willow felt chills break out over her skin. "Who is that?"
A smirk looked back at her. "A witch."
"Your playing games with me, I want to know, who are we? Who are you?"
Her image sighed. "We are Willow. You are not the daughter of Sheila and Ira Rosenberg. We were born of the hellmouth, and brought to the surface to rule it. The humans discovered you and raised you."
"I'm a hellmouth?"
"No, we're born of it, we're apart of it, a direct channel of its energy."
"So I'm evil?"
"Essentially," was the reflected reply.
Willow fought back the tears. "I don't like to hurt people," she argued.
"We were not made for people. We are for the demons. People are of no consequence to us any longer," the black eyes blinked.
"I won't harm innocents!" Willow protested.
"Have you ever thought that perhaps you could save them? You do not even know your true purpose, I should not even be here, you should already know me!"
"What do you mean?" Willow asked the pool.
"I am you, there is no separate entity in your body, no demon. I am your subconscious; your knowledge of the demons, of hell, of the mouth itself."
"I suppressed you."
"Yes, so as the hellmouth grows stronger, so do we, and you must acknowledge me, or our birth duty will go unchecked."
"So our being part of the hellmouth is not neccessarily a bad thing, is it?"
The image in the pool cackled. "Willow, we were born of the cosmic force that keeps hell from erupting onto earth. We are neither good, nor evil. Our sole purpose is to regulate the mouth. The Slayer has upset that balance; her pursuit to rid all demons from Sunnydale has tipped the scales. We must destroy her."
"She's my friend," Willow argued.
"We have our destiny."
The image reached up with a sudden ferocity, and pulled a struggling Willow into the water.
Spike flicked his cigarette onto the ground, watching the waters calm.
A single hand emerged from the pool, and the vampire reached down to grasp his Mistress firmly. She rose; dry as she should not be.
Willow tilted her head to the sky, reaching to the elements, feeling the hum of the hellmouth run through her.
"From beneath you it devours. From within it will destroy, balance will be righted," she vowed, her eyes flickering black.
****
Giles sat, unblinking, staring out at the landscape of his cottage home. He wondered about Willow, and how she was doing since she left him. He wondered about so many things.
"She has found her destiny," a smooth voice informed him.
Giles didn't even have to turn to identify the person that appeared beside him. "Tell me Jenny, is there any way around this?" he asked.
The silvery thin apparition of Jenny Calendar shook her head. "Giles, Buffy is not the same as she once was. It is only difficult for you because the Watcher became the Father. You know that you compromised your duty to your Slayer and her friends. Willow's duty has been the same since she was created. Much like Dawn, the Key. The Key is a mystical power that was created solely to open worlds, she took the form of a girl that you grew to love, yet she is still a mystical figure. She is no longer in your life, and has returned to her origins."
"And Willow? Will she fade as well; will I loose her just like we lost Dawn?" Giles finally turned, his red-rimmed eyes betraying how little sleep he had received.
Jenny sighed. "Rupert. Buffy is the Slayer, the Slayer has made alliances with two vampires, she has died twice, and each time defied the natural order of life. If there is someway that the mouth can be calmed from erupting, I'm sure your group of young people will find it. You have that confidence, I know. As to Willow; she is real, but she is also bound to the Hellmouth. You could not ask a rock to provide water; you cannot ask a Hellmouth to let itself open."
Giles turned once again to the window. "I wish I could be there, to help them."
"The watcher must watch, or it will all be in vain," Jenny whispered, slowly fading away.
****
Willow opened the door to Sunnydale High with ease, scampering down the steps to the basement. Everything whispered here, and it wasn't just her companion.
Spike muttered continually. They were all around him, telling him their secrets, telling him to bring her to them, bring their sister home.
"Mummy, mummy...she's got you...coming to visit grandmum...sister, sister goin' to the convent to bring me a sister..."
Willow paused, reaching for her vampire's hand. He resisted, the buzzing of voices becoming increasingly louder. "Good boy...little bit of hell on earth...I'm one bad ass vampire...ohhh Red...," he murmured.
The black eyed witch yanked him to her, placing her hands on either side of his head. "He is not who you are calling, be still, let him rest. I am here," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his lips.
Spike felt the crazed whisperings leave him, just like a tide withdrew from the beach. His mind was quiet for the first time since he had returned to Sunnyhell. He blinked and stared at Willow, her eyes still closed after the kiss. He grabbed the back of her head, digging his fingers into the titian strands of hair, and smashed his lips against hers, invading her mouth.
Willow resisted the urge to struggle at the sudden attack from Spike, his presence swirling around in her mind, filling her. The witch seized the vampire against her, a frenzied clutch that was a direct uplink to the Hellmouth. The wealth of information filled her mind, sending Willow to near bliss.
A rush of voices and wind shrieked through the twistings of underground
corridors, a chorus of supernatural power. Willow eyes snapped open, piercing
the darkness.
Spike fell to his knees as the former hacker released him. He looked up at her, tears in his eyes. "Red," he whimpered.
"Shhhh." Willow placed a single, slender digit on his just-kissed lips. Her eyes flickered and shimmered in their inky blackness, and she hummed a haunting tune. A doorway materialized before her, and she stepped through it.
Spike stood slowly, turning his back to the inky black portal. He would wait, as he should.
****
"Willow."
Willow raised her arm, shielding her eyes from the torrent of wind that blew on the other side of the portal. "Who are you?" she shouted above the din.
"The First Evil, who did you think?" a creature appeared next to the witch, peering up at her. The wind abruptly died, leaving Willow in a small cottage-like setting, complete with a roaring fire.
Willow resisted the urge to laugh. The demon that appeared next to her was small, almost like one of Tolkien's dwarves, and wore a robe, complete with pointed hood.
"Find me amusing, do you?" it asked.
"You'll excuse me, but for being the First Evil, I don't find you very intimidating," Willow admitted.
"Oh?" The demon disappeared, and Willow felt a hand brushing against her neck.
"What about now little one?" Angelus asked, in full vamp-face, poised around her neck.
Willow steeled her resolve. "I am a part of the mouth of Hell, you cannot harm me," she stated with confidence.
Angelus shrank bank into her small companion, who tsked at her. "You disappoint me."
"Why? I'm not resisting what I've learned; I'm not trying to run from my obligation, from my birth?" Willow asked, kneeling next to the fire. The goodness in her screamed for her to run; run to Buffy, run to Giles. Get out of the evil. Stay the hell outta Dodge, and don't return to Babylon.
"Perhaps. Or maybe it's that you seem to have acquiesced too easily?"
"Look, First Evil, do you have something else I can call you?" Willow asked, blowing a piece of hair from her eyes.
"Gog."
"As in Satan?" the redhead asked skeptically.
"It's a name," her host settled into a crouch next to her.
"Gog, do you think that I'm going to betray my duty?"
"I don't think you intend to. But you were raised of humans, though not borne of them. The inherent goodness that their contact bred into you, that among your *friends*," the demon practically spat the word, "may prove harder to walk away from than you realize, Littlest One."
"I won't back down, not now, not when I'm discovering who I am, what I am," Willow argued, her eyes turning black.
The little demon laughed at her. "Oh, really now? Let me ask you this, what happens when they turn on you, when they begin to fight you?" he transformed into Xander, on his knees.
"Please, please Will, don't do this, you can have all the yellow crayons you want, don't kill Buffy, please!" 'Xander' begged, immediately shifting into Giles.
"You're like my daughter Willow, I always will love you," 'Giles' whispered.
Gog turned back into his squat self with a laugh. "And then, there is the Slayer, who probably would offer her pretty neck for you to lop off."
"What choice does she have?" Willow's eyes had not left the fire the entire time.
"Eh?"
"What choice does the Slayer have but to give her life?"
Gog crossed his arms. "Why would she do that Little One?"
"If she doesn't, the First Evil will rise, and the Hellmouth will erupt. No spell can stop it; nothing can change it but her life. She is the one disrupting the balance. Isn't that true?" the redhead finally turned her eyes to her mentor's face.
"Smart one, aren't you?" he grunted.
"Why don't you want to arise Gog? Shouldn't you be convincing me to allow my friends to live? Why are you encouraging me to kill her?"
"I don't need your permission to rise or not," the demon snarled.
Willow stood, a smirk on her face. "Yes you do. I am the gatekeeper Gog. I allow the forces to come and go. The only thing threatening me is the Slayer. But, why do you need her? What could she give you?"
The small demon snorted, gritting his teeth.
Willow thought for a moment, the smile never leaving her face. "Blood. Spike told me that it's the entire meaning of life, the only power that is true, that is the darkest of magics. You need the Slayer's blood. Her death is no consequence to you, as long as you get a pint."
Gog whirled on her, his eyes sparking wildly, as he rapidly changed shape uncontrollably. "Blood is the one thing you cannot control, the one power that bypasses the gatekeeper, and I am the only Evil, the First, that can do that," he motioned to the dark, "the demons of the Hellmouth know that you will do your duty, we know you too well, we watched you being formed. You will keep the Hellmouth sealed, and that," the demon advanced on the witch, "is something we won't allow."
Willow closed her eyes, humming the tune that would summon her door, she walked to it, pausing just before she exited, "I really don't see how you can stop it," she threw over her shoulder, leaving the inner chamber of the Hellmouth.
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