Author: Lady Dark Star
Disclaimer: I am not Joss Whedon, would Willow have gone through all the shit she did in Season Six, (or Spike fuck Buffy for that matter) IF I WAS?! And I'm not bitter!
Distribution: Any one who already has Poking Can Be Dangerous
Dedication: GREEN FOR THE TITLE...and Mel my cupcake muse!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
A disgruntled Xander Harris stumbled into the Magic Box, his hair every which way, his skin littered with bruises. He plopped onto a bench and glared at the witch sitting across from him.
"What?" Willow asked innocently. She sipped her mocha, resisting the urge to smile.
"Do you know what they did to me?" He hissed, leaning forward, looking very much like the hyena that he used to be.
"Poked you." Willow replied matter of factly.
"Repeatedly." Her best friend growled.
"Gets on your nerves, huh?" Willow commented, eyeing him.
"How'd ya guess?" The construction worker replied.
"Just figured." Willow murmured, raising her coffee to her lips.
"Hey Will?" Xander asked carefully. He looked at his fisted hand nonchalantly.
"Uh, yeah Xander?"
"POKE." The ex-groom released his coiled fingers sending a shower of greenish dust all over the suprised witch.
"Wha-" She sputtered, suddenly sneezing.
Xander began chuckling, holding his stomach as Willow repeatedly sneezed.
"The phermones of the Belvere demon female. To them, you won't have even a human face."
Willow's eyes got huge. "You're joking."
Xander lifted one eyebrow. "I was molested Willow. I was POKED FOR HOURS UNTIL THEY FELL ASLEEP!"
"But...but...but...you..you poked me." Green eyes teared up.
"No, no Wills...not the waterworks....that won't work this time...."
Willow let loose a sniffle, letting a giant tear stream down her face.
Xander groaned, his ingrained protectiveness to the redhead surfacing.He gritted his teeth. This was payback after all.
"SPIKE! "Willow let loose with a wail.
"WAIT! NO!" Xander squealed, as the bleach blonde vampire barrelled out of the training room, game-faced.
~Part: 2~
"Willow? Willow?! Are you allright?!" Spike growled, heading for the table where the two stood.
"Spike...Xander's being mean!" Willow pouted.
Spike did something Willow didn't expect at all. He growled at her.
"Shut up git, I was talkin' to Red." He turned to Xander.
"Pet?You okay?" He reached forward, stroking Xander's arms.
Xander pinwheeled backwards. "AHH AHH NO TOUCHY! NO SPIKE TOUCHES!"
Willow was confused. "Spike, babe...what are you doing? Why are you touchin Xander?"
Spike growled again, wondering why Willow was backing away from him. "Whelp, I'm not in the mood for some strange game o' yours. Willow, Red, baby, talk to me, whats going on, why did you yell for me...are you allright...." He slowly was backing 'Willow' (in reality Xander) into a bookshelf.
Xander looked at Willow. Willow looked at Xander. 'Willow' patted Spike on the arm.
"Its okay my Spikey-goodness...I'm um...um...okay, Xander was teasing me...and uh...uh...look I'm all good and stuff." Xander hoped he had accomplished something along the lines of a Willow babble.
Willow on the other hand slapped 'Xanders' forehead.
Spike looked at 'Willow' strangely. <This poking incident has really gone to her brain.> "Allright luv, if you're sure you are okay."
Xander nodded Willow's head. "Yup...all good and non-resolve face, just peachy double mocha keen! Like Bubbles from the PowerPuff girls...."
"Uh, luv, thought you hated that show...."
'Xander slapped his forehead again.
"OH.....uh...uh...see ha-ha...oh Spike go train so we can go home and...uh...be naughty."
Spike shrugged his shoulders. "Allright." He dissapeared into the back.
'Xander' slapped 'Willow'. 'Willow' slapped 'Xander'.
"What the heck were you thinking?! Spikey-goodness?! JEEZ! And...and...Bubbles?! BUBBLES!?"
"WHAT?! I'm running on low fuel here, its not like I've ever had to think for you!" Xander squeaked. A blank look showed on his face, as he realized his voice was no longer that of a husky male.
"What exactly did you dust me with?" Willow demanded.
"The...the bottle said 'pheremones of Belvere'." Xander stammered.
"Just the pheremones?!Dried?"
"Uh..yeah?" Xander replied.
"XANDERRRRR!"
Anya poked her head out from the storeroom. "Honey...why are you saying your own name like that?" She asked.
Willow looked at Xander. 'Willow' shrugged her shoulders. 'Xander' grinned evily.
"I was just thinking.....Ahn...honey...we've wasted a lot of time....I mean...I was thinking about when there was two of me...you could've forced that issue...I mean two of us would've been a lot of fun...and well...I just called my own name, thinking about it." *Take that Alexander Harris....thats for the PowerPuff girls.*
Anya's face lit up. She bounced over to Willow. "OH honey...you don't know how happy I am to hear you say that...I've always hoped that you would want something like this...Willow! You're turning really really red."
"Ah...yeah...I just don't think this is a disscussion you should be having with me...WILLOW...right here Ahn..ya."
Anya looked at 'Willow' strangely. "Why not?"
'Xander' gave Anya a sexy grin. "How about we go home after you close up...and we can talk about it...in depth...sweetie?" Willow said, in a sickeningly sweet Xander tone.
"OH YES!" Anya bounced back into the storeroom.
"You wouldn't dare!" Willow shrilled at 'Xander'.
"Who me?" 'Xander' said innocently.
"First thing, we are not going home with our signifcant others, because there is no way in hell I'm shagging SPIKE!"
"I KNEW YOU WERE MAD AT ME!" Spike had started coming through the doorway to the training room, of course catching the last of Xander's sentence. He abruptly turned on his heel and left the Magic Box.
"LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Willow yelled at Xander.
"HEY I'm not the one who wanted TWO ME'S! AGAIN!" Xander yelled back.
Willow crossed 'Xanders' arms. "Whats the matter Xander?! Little homo-phobic?! I've been with girls, Anya will enjoy what 'Xander' learned to do with his tongue!"
'Willows' jaw dropped open. "We are telling Giles what exactly happened...whatever happened."
"You used the ingredient....not a spell...what I'm guessing....is that we're both allergic to Belvere Demons. This is....a demony side effect." Willow stated evenly.
"I'm ALLERGIC TO..."
"Poking? Damn skippity." 'Xander' said.
"Xander, hun did you just say that phrase?! Thats Willow's phrase...." Anya's muffled voice came from the room.
'Willow' cursed beneath her breath.
"Hey don't use my mouth for potty language like that!" The real Willow protested.
"What exactly are we going to do here?" Xander asked.
Willow shrugged. "Well, do you really want to explain to everyone how exactly this all started, with the poking and the demons...and now the allergy?"
Xander pouted in Willow's body.
"Then I guess we have to just tough it out." 'Xander' said very masculine-like.
"You aren't suggesting...."
"FYI Xander.....Spike likes it when you lick up his spine....oh Ahn, hun...I'm going home to get ready for tonight...." Willow looked at her best friend. "Poking can be dangerous Xand, and you just found out how.....oh...and whatever you do, don't....well...you'll find out what really drives Spike crazy." 'Xander' waved to his bestfriend...walking out of the Magic Box.
"Fuck." 'Willow' swore.
"Wills! God! Language much?!" Buffy complained, coming through the door.
~Part: 3~
"Sure you're not mad luv?" Spike asked quietly, letting his redhead watch him from the open door way. He inhaled on his ciggarette, flicking the ash onto the grass beside the back porch.
Xander wanted to scream. "Uh-huh."
Spike smirked sexily, which was really the only way Spike could smirk. He stalked his lover, loving the scent of...fear...apprehension???
"Are you sure your okay?" Spike stopped short.
'Willow's eyes reached epic proportions. Xander was racking his brain, trying to come up with a way that he could avoid what he felt was coming. Damnit, why did they have to just get together, the sex was still new enough that they....no...Willow and Spike needed it daily...damn her.
/ Allright....allright...uh, Spike can smell blood...plus he'd probably be turned on by the fact that I....I mean WILLOW had her....uh...yeah....um...headache????Somehow I don't think that Spike would back off....gods Xander you've said no to Anya enough...think!! /
"I...uh...its just...um...the poking..." Willow swallowed.
Spike nodded slowly, grinding his ciggarette beneath his docmartens. "I thought you enjoyed it luv."
"Enjoyed it?! Being poked by those demons?!" / What type of sick twisted relationship do they have? No, wait don't wanna know.../
"I meant the other night..." Spike sighed.
"OH!...uh..." Xander cursed his best friend for the millionth time tonight.
****
Willow smirked yet again as Anya dug her fingernails into 'Xanders' scalp.
"OH OH OH..."Anya was gasping.
Willow slipped her fingers a little lower, using her nails to trail along the outer edges of her labia...recieving another long howl of frustration from the former vengeance demon. She slipped two fingers inside, begining a slow lazy rythm, teasing slightly along the inner vaginal walls.
"XANDERrrr..."
*God she's a loud one...* Willow lowered her mouth, nipping the erect bud of Anya's clitoris, sending the store owner into a raging orgasm that had been building for the past hour that Willow...no...'Xander' had teased his girlfriend.
"Xand....that was..."
Willow sighed, crawling up Anya's body to hold her. At least she could predict Xander's behavior.
"Are you okay booh?"
Willow resisted the urge to chuckle. So that was the nickname that Xander refused to let Anya utter outside their bedroom.
"Yeah Ahn, I'm fine....I wanted to make this evening....special for you."
"MMmm..." Anya drifted off to sleep.
Things had gotten somewhat complicated after Willow and Anya had arrived at the apartment. First, Willow didn't know which key went to the door, and then Anya tried to 'stimulate Xander'. Didn't really work when Willow didn't have a penis. She had to distract Anya somehow, and fortunely she had the right techniques to do so. Willow got up from the bed, heading out into the living room to stretch out on the couch. She wondered what exactly Xander's reaction would be when he found out that he had to hide the fact he had to hide his....well...spike from Spike. Sure the best friends had the appearance of the other, but it didn't mean they had the 'hardware'.
Willow chuckled evenly. That would show him not to mess with magic ingredients. *Wiccan good intent Xander, welcome to the Rule of Three.*
****
/I'm kissing Spike./ Xander repeated to himself for the thousandth time.
When he had failed to come up with accurate conversation, he had just launched 'Willow' at the blonde vampire. Fortunetly, Spike took Willow's strange behavior as just another sign of sexual frustration. Hence, Xander was kissing Spike. Xander was kissing Spike, and holding his lowerbody far far away from the vampire.
Spike growled in frustration. His redhead was kissing him, but at the same time pulling away. It felt like some strange tug-of-war contest.
"Luv...what are you doing?" Spike finally asked.
/ I'm turned on./ Xander let himself admit it. He couldn't lean up against Spike like he....desired to...because of obivious reasons. Xander racked his brain, what could get Spike to...
/ Oh god.../ Xander had just thought of the only way.
"I uh....Spike..." 'Willow's' lip trembled.
"Yes luv, why are you so nervous?" Spike was begining to get concerned about the redhead.
"I want to ask you to do something for me...but I've never...I mean...its...uh...oh hell..."
Spike held Willow's face in his hands. "Just tell me Red."
Xander took a deep breath. "I want you to bugger me."
****
Willow trailed her hands up Anya's thighs appreciativly before lowering her mouth to suckle her nipples. Willow realized why Xander was tired all the time, working a fourty hour job, and then being up all night with the insatiable ex-demon, what a hard existence for a man.
As Anya's sighs of pleasure grew louder, Willow trailed her tongue down her supple skin, wondering just how well Xander and Spike were getting along.
****
"You want me to what?" Spike asked.
"B-bugger me?" Xander replied.
"Uh, luv...
"Oh, well I guess if you don't want to..."
"Bugger...wait luv, you sayin' you want me to..."
"Uh...no...was I using the wrong term...I.."
"I thought you said that you never wanted..."
"We could jusst forget about it..."
"If you're interested..."
The 'couple' looked at each other for a moment.
"Huh?" They commented at the same time.
Spike growled. Something was not right, not right at all. He thought for a moment.
"You're not Willow." He glared.
"Yes I am!" Xander squealed. The last thing he needed was Spike finding out exactly who he was and...and... /Oh SHIT/ the kisses!
"Prove it." Spike crossed his arms.
"Uh...sure." Xander was pretty confident that he would pass this test, Willow was his best friend after all, he knew her his entire life...
"What drives me crazy?"
/Fuck/
"In the good way?" Xander asked.
"There is only one way." Spike said with a level look.
/Fuck/
"Spike...this is stupid, isn't there something else besides this stupid 20 questions game?"
Spike grinned. "Yes."
/Oh good something safer.../ Xander screamed as Spike launched himself at him, sinking his fangs into Xander's neck, drinking his blood. After two sips Spike threw Xander against the wall.
"WHELP!" He thundered.
/Oh fuck, oh fuck.....Willow!!!!/
****
"Xander?" Anya asked.
"Mmm?" Willow returned.
"Have you been cheating on me?" Anya asked.
Willow rolled onto her side. "Uh, no..."
"Where did you learn how to do that then?" Anya let her lower lip tremble.
"I...Ahn, c'mon...." Willow was racking her brain for excuses.
"You never ever ever go down on me like that...so where did you learn it??" The former vengeance demon shrieked.
*Shit...Xander your such the typical male....*
"Anya..."
"YOU BASTARD!!!" Anya leaped from the bed, pacing the floor, waving her arms around.
"I cursed men like you for centuries, oh its a great excuse isn't it Xander Harris...."
"Anya..."
"Fucking someone else just to 'learn how to do it better'...."
"Anya..."
"Well let me tell you this mister, no many how many women you fuck you'll never learn how to do it better!!!!"
*Don't laugh Willow...don't laugh....*
"AH HA HA HA HA..."
"This is not a laughing matter!!" Anya screamed.
****
"Now...now Spike...calm down..."
"What the FUCK are you doin' looking like Willow...Ay! YOU KISSED ME!!!" Spike began spitting randomly.
"Spike...Spike..."
"I KISSED the WHELP!!"
"HEY! I'm not that bad...you were the one that was all sexy and stuff with the..."
"SEXY?! AHHHH..."
"Are you hyperventilating?" Xander asked.
Spike glared at him murderously.
"Oh."
****
"YOU!" Willow rolled out of the way of Anya's incoming leap.
"Anya, calm down!!!"
Anya's eyes went wide as she reached out to touch 'Xander's face'.
"You're melting." She whispered. "You're not XANDER!"
"I'm wha-?"
"MELTING! Oh my GOD! I KNEW IT WAS REAL!"
"What is real?"
"Wizard of Oz!! I knew it! She is real! Dorothy is REAL!"
"Uh...huh?" Willow asked. *Is this some bizzare bedroom game?*
"But who are you and why are you melting?"
"Ahn..I'm not..."
"Yes you are..." Anya shoved her to a small mirror.
Willow stared at her Xander-y reflection, noting that on the sides of her temples, her own skin and red hair was showing through. Insight dawned her eyes and she dashed for the bathroom.
Anya tilted her head as she heard the shower running.
"Won't that just make you melt more?" She called.
A wet, slippery, naked Willow slid out of the bathroom, dancing joyously around Anya.
"I'm me again!" She squealed.
Anya's eyes boomed large again.
"I HAD SEX WITH WILLOW?!"
****
"I ALMOST HAD SEX WITH YOU!" Spike growled, pacing, puffing on a ciggarette every ten seconds.
"Well yeah, kinda, but it was only cause I was Willow...or I am Willow..."
Spike poked Xander.
"You kissed me."
"I didn't know what else to do!!!!!"
Spike poked Xander again.
"You wanted me to..."
"I didn't want you to feel my..."
Spike poked Xander again, and the brunette in the redheads body lost it.
"HEY NO MORE SPOKAGE!!! You WILL NOT POKE ME ANYMORE! Poking all last night, poking tonight, what is it with you people and the poking, can you not see how damaging this is to a person?! It...its bad...."
"Spokage?" Spike asked, his finger poised for another poke.
"Uh..yeah...Spike..and pokage, y'know, Spokage..."
"Welp?" Spike asked.
"Yeah?"
POKE.
"THAT IS IT!!!"
~Part: 4~
For the first time in many years, Willow began stuttering. "N-n-now Anya, hun...." She went to move forward, and then realized how naked she was.
"I uh...well..."
"I HAD SEX WITH WILLOW??? YES!"
"Now wait calm down its not that bad....HUH?! You're happy you had sex with me?"
****
"I have had it with you! Mister- I'm- so- fuckin- bad-assed- that- I- won't- bite- you, oh wait, no, its cause your IMPOTENT!"
Spike advanced on the young man. "There ain't nothing impotent with me whelp."
To emphasise his point, he dropped his jeans in one smooth motion, holding his proudly jutting cock in one ghost-like hand. "I'm as hard as they come...and eventually I will."
Spike had enough, he was horny, he was angry, and he could use a good bang. Not to mention that getting the whelp to take it would be one helluva payback for years of ridicule, this would be a little something he could hang over his head for years to come. Spike chuckled evilly.
Xander's mouth flopped open. His eyes, Willow's green, grew to ten times their normal size.
"Uh...woah."
****
"I've always wanted to have sex with you." Anya stated matter of factly.
"And you never told me this why?" Willow stated, dumbfounded.
"Oh because I figured your weren't up to my orgasms." Anya replied.
Willow began sputtering.
****
"There will be no...no I wills or coming or....or..."
Spike chuckled, shuffling forward with his pants around his knees, even so, looking dead sexy. "C'mon ducks...haven't you ever wondered what Buffy and Willow love so much about us dead guys?
Xander shook his head, the red locks getting into his eyes. "I...uh...no...no..."
Spike closed his eyes sniffing the air slightly. "Aw come on pet, I can smell it...I can smell your desire..."
"NOOOOO!" Xander lit for the doorway, intent on escaping outside.
Spike let him go as far as the front lawn before throwing him down. (Isn't it amazing how fast a vampire that has his pants around his ankles a can move)
Xander struggled briefly before noticing something. The sprinklers had just shut off, leaving the grass extremely wet, and....he could see his own skin shining through the overlayer of Willow! Xander gave a squeal of joy, and began rubbing himself all over the grass like a wet dog scratching an itch.
Spike cocked and eyebrow, watching the boy do his 'dance'. "Is this supposed to be sexy or something?!" He asked.
Xander bounded up, his own self peeking through everywhere. "I'm going to be me!" He ran straight for the hose, turning it on himself, rejoicing in the cold water as it washed away all vestiges of his best friend. He stripped his clothes off, dancing in the spray, not noticing a certain vampire striding twords him.
"Whelp." Spike plucked at the boy, getting a face full of water.
Xander giggled like the schoolgirl he had been, turning the hose on the vamp.
Spike groaned and tried to turn fast, and ended up tripping on the pants that were still around his ankles, and fell 'SPLAT' into the mud puddle that had created with Xander's impromptu shower. Cursing the vampire devested himself of the rest of his clothes, intent on paying back the brat.
"I'm Xannnddderrrr...."He sang under the water. "I'm...mmmph"
Spike howled in laughter as the man began to spit mud from his mouth.
Xander glared at the vamp, picking up a scoopful of the moist earth.
SPLAT.
"Ere, what..."
SPLAT
"Ewww..."
SPLAT...
Before long both males were tussling in the ever growing mud puddle, rolling around becoming covered. Much to his chagrin, Xander realised that not only was Spike still aroused (vamps don't shrink,cause they're already cold), and so was he.
"Uh...Spike...don't you think it would be a good idea to..."
Spike was kissing him. Spike was kissing Xander.
/Holy shit/ Xander thought for two point two seconds before surrendering to the demanding tongue in his mouth.
The smell of earth, water and arousal permeated the air, and Spike was reveling in it. He broke off the kiss to trail his mouth down to the spot where he had tasted the whelp in the first place, and sunk his fangs into his neck, now it was complete, earth,water,arousal, and blood, the four elements to a vampire.
"Ohhh." Spike was brought back to present by Xander's moans, and him pressing him to his neck, enjoying the bite.
Spike grinned against his flesh, trailing his fingers down over the construction workers muscular chest, tracing little patterns in the mud as he did so. He reached the delicate area between the stomach and pelvis and traced a finger tip up, down, and again.
Xander in spite of himself, shivered and thrust his hips forward.
Spike continued his teasing assault, letting his magical fingers drive the boy delicately into lustful crazyness.
"Spike!" Xander ground out.
"Mmm..yeh?"
"You're...you're.."
"Teasing the hell outta ya?"
"Yessss..."
Spike chuckled, and let his white fingers trail through the dark hair below, stroking the sensitive flesh of Xander's cock. He smiled an ancient smile, it had been a long time since he had one of these that wasn't his own, and somehow he'd didn't think Angel would appreciate the comparision.
Xander felt like he was going to combust, or at least burst into song. He somehow didn't think that Spike would like the song bit.
"W..would you stop teasing.." Xander gasped, clasping the vampire's hand tightly.
Spike grinned maliciously. "No..." He breathed, leaning down, enveloping Xander's shaft in his cold mouth.
****
"ME? Not being able to handle the orgasms?" Willow huffed, reaching for her clothes.
"Well, you're so quite and shy...not at all what I thought you could be."
"Y'know...if this wasn't such a fluke...of magical ingredients gone wrong, I would ...I would..." Willow slammed her shirt over her head.
Anya grinned, reaching for a dress of her own. "You'd what?" She asked excitingly.
"I'd show you what exactly I could do, but.." Willow pulled Anya close, licking her tongue up her neck, to whisper in her ear.
"This was a one time deal."
Anya shivered, and put distance between herself and the witch. "So..so what are we doing now?" She asked, her voice quivering.
"Going back to my house, Xander and Spike are there, and I wanna make sure that they haven't killed each other."
"Spike...and Xander...ohhhh." Anya grinned, shoving more clothes on.
****
Xander arched up as Spike began a heavy suction, enjoying the feel of the strong mouth on his cock, that was something Anya didn't have, the strength to give it to him the way he'd always wanted it, just hadn't known. He grinned, burying his fingers in Spike's short blonde hair, maybe he'd have to show Spike how good he thought this was.
Spike felt the shift in position, only by the amount of mud that splashed back up onto their bodies. He felt Xander's warm breath on his shaft, a teasing lick before Spike thrust forward, burying himself in Xander's warm mouth.
Xander moaned around Spike's shaft, starting his own thrusting motion.
****
Willow unlocked the door, noting the quietness of the house.
"Its quiet." Anya noted.
"Yeah."
"Too quiet."
"Yup." Willow agreed.
"Do you think they killed each other?" Anya asked.
"Yup." Willow said, noticing the back door wide open. Cautiously, her and Anya moved forward, unprepared for the sight that greeted them
Spike and Xander, locked in 69 position, sucking each other's cocks with abandon, a light spray from the water cascading down upon them, and the dark chocolate color of the mud splashed against their white skin.
"Oh my." The girls both gasped together.
~Part: 5~
Just at that moment both men gasped in pleasure, their orgasm's flooding through their bodies with an intensity that caused them to roar, swallow, and roar again.
They each collapsed with a passionate splat in the mud.
Spike saw their audience first, and gave the girls a cheeky grin.
"Ello' luvs." He said with a deep sigh, waving his hand, sending a shower of mud their way.
"Eep!" Willow sidestepped the cascade of dirt, looking at her lover with wide eyes.
"XANDER!" Anya gasped, her flush extending all over her body, and it wasn't from embaressment.
"Ahn...ya...hi..." Xander sheepishly said, attempting to scramble out of the mud that he was sinking into, but failed horribly.
Willow finally found her voice. "Spike...and...Xander...and...Spike...."
"Janet! Dr.Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky!" Spike mocked, his head resting on his elbow whilst dipping his finger in the mud, he stirred it like a cappachino, and then looked up, a happy go luckygrin on his face.
"Are you DRUNK?!" Willow asked.
Xander snorted. "So he'd have to be drunk to sleep with me?" The brunette asked.
Willow answered without considering. "Hopefully!"
Anya turned to the redhead. "Whats that supposed to mean?"
"Yeah?!" Spike asked.
Willow blinked. "Well...well...its...XANDER!"
"And?" Spike asked.
"You HATE Xander!"
Spike rolled nonchalantly onto his back, and started playing with his semi-erect shaft. "Just because I may not like the gits personality doesn't mean I want to fuck him."
Xander, who had been crawling through the mud to get closer to the brunette, grinned slightly. "I'll take that as a compliment." He murmured, before diving his head down to lick and suck at Spike's nipples.
"I don't understand..." Willow wimpered.
"Whats so hard to understand, they got horny, just like we did." Anya answered simply, her hands toying with her drawstring pants. They were quite attractive together.
Xander paused. "Whats that?"
Spike sat up, his eyes yellowing just a tad. "You slept with Anya?"
Willow gulped, and then nodded.
"Without me being there?" Spike growled.
Willow's head snapped up. "And your sucking Xander's cock like....like...like...something very enjoyable to lick...and...you're upset that I...and Anya...and..." Willow growled, her eyes blinking black.
In a magical flash, her and Anya were naked and there was a lot more mud. Willow intwined her finger's in Spike's short locks, twisting his head up to hers.
"Listen up...I can do whatever the bloody hell I want. You don't own me William the Bloody, but if its ownership you're craving...." Willow threw Spike down into the mud puddle,straddling him quickly. "I'll show you who you bloody belong to."
Spike rolled Willow over in the mud, pinning her arms above her head. "Do you think that you could really show me who I belong to?"
Willow rolled him back over, and winked to Xander. Her best friend held Spike's arms, and Anya sat on his legs. "How about we show ya?"
*****
The group lay eghausted in the mud. Occasionally there was a regressive moan of rememberance, but for the most part it was absolutely quiet.
"Well..." Spike began.
"Un?" Xander murmured unintelligably.
"Suns gonna be up." He said softly, stroking the boy's sore buttocks.
"Mm." Anya agreed, located somewhere near both men's thighs.
"Guess we should move." Willow said her body stretched over her three friends.
"Mmmhmm." They all agreed.
Slowly, ever so slowly, they sepearated, Willow and Spike into Willow's house, and Anya and Xander into Xander's car. With last longing looks, and a brief musical interlude that exploded from no where, the couples went on their ways.
****
"XANDER!"
"You too?"
"Yes! What is it?!"
"Anya says it looks like a worm."
"A what?!" Willow screeched.
"A parasite...that was in the dirt!!!"
"Even Spike has it!"
"Really? The bumps and all?"
"Especially the bumps and it...."
"Itches." Xander finished.
"Yeah."
"Goddess how are we gonna explain this to Buffy?"
"I have no idea Wills."
The two best friends were slient for a moment.
"This is all your fault." Willow said darkly.
"My fault!? MY FAULT?! Hey if you hadn't pulled that pokage stunt..."
"You...you were poking me!"
"You had to poke that demon!"
"I was saving you!"
"Did your mother ever tell you that violence is not the answer!?" Xander commented.
"GRRR!"
"Nice sentence Wills." /Oh, yeah the Xand-man is winnin' back some of his own./
"I hate you."
"No you don't...because you liked it when I..."
"XANDER!"
"Didn't you get enough of screaming my name...oh hi Ahn...no..no talking to Wills...NO ANYA I WAS JUST..."
Click.
"Go get'em Anya." Willow said smugly, hanging up the phone.
****
"So those poking demons gave you guys rashes?" Buffy asked in disbelief.
"Uh-huh." Willow agreed, her skintone the same color as her hair, from the rash of course. She itched at it idly.
"And Spike even got it?" Giles asked, walking around the vampire, taking notes.
"Ey, I'm a bloody demon, not a bloody science project Watcher!" Spike snarled.
"Sorry Spike, but you must understand, this is absolutely fascinating." Giles apologized.
Spike growled in response.
"I suggest you guys go home and rest." Buffy shrugged.
"Well..we wanna help you patrol buff-sters." Xander tried to say jovially. At least as jovially as he could while trying to wiggle in order to reach an itch.
"Nah, you guys are of no use to me itching and red. Red is not a color you wear on patrol, I should know." Buffy said matter-of-factly.
"Okay...sure." Anya said, getting up pulling Xander along.
"Call ya later?" Willow asked.
"Uh-huh, behave." Xander said, ackwardly patting his friend.
Willow sighed, saying her good-byes to Giles and Buffy, then stepping out of the Magic Box with Spike.
"Well...it has certainly been interesting lately, huh?" She commented.
"Been better than the bloody boxer rebellion, with a helluva lot more shagging."Spike commented. His eyes got all dreamy for a moment, "You know...it was as good as wheatabix in blood.." he murmured.
Willow raised her eyebrow. "You just like something sliding down your throat with some substance to it." She said matter of factly.
Spike grinned, not denying her words. "And how did you like it?" He asked.
"I'll just say, uh-hOW! OW!" Willow screamed.
A large purple tenticle sneaked back into the shadows, before the familiar Belvere Demon stepped twords her.
"What are you doin here?"Spike growled.
The demon gurgled, and began poking Willow in rapid succession.
"Oh...OW...oW ow ow!" Willow screeched, she tumbled over for a moment, then reached into her backpack, flashing a small handled ax in her hands.
She jumped to her feet, slicing the demon's head off with a quick swipe.
"NO MORE GODDAMN POKING!" She screamed.
The tentacle twitched...and then was still.
***THE END***