rating: PG 16-R, angst, heartache, violence
the QPC site: http://quickie.moonlightpaths.com
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone from the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Distribution: any lists that I send this to, WLS, QPC, Bite Me, Cat, Feen, Soulmates, WWW - anyone else please ask
note: set in AU season 6. Willow and Tara never got back together after Glory, and instead Willow hooked up with Spike. Tara left Sunnydale. Willow resurrected Buffy. Buffy then proceeded to use Spike while he was dating Willow, without Willow's knowledge.
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It had hurt too badly to go anywhere that she would see people. To be near anyone that knew about the relationship between herself and Spike, or at least, the relationship that she thought they'd had. So, she'd gone to the Rosenberg house, the place her parents owned and occasionally visited. A place that held no memories of Spike, no memories of their time together, a place that nobody would ever think to look for her.
She'd barely made it inside the doors, collapsing into painful sobs against the couch, sliding to the floor, vision faded into blurs of color, streaks of pale light falling through the gaps in the curtains. She'd wept, everything hurting from the betrayal of it all. Eventually, she'd staggered to the room that she'd spent her childhood in, the room where she'd once believed that everything would be alright, that she could be safe. When she'd once believed in love conquering all and happily after.
Morning did not bring peace, but it had brought a sort of calm, a numb, emptiness that allowed her to consider the future without tears, although her eyes still burned. She couldn't stay in Sunnydale, not after what she'd seen. But where to go?
Oddly enough, it was the sight of her college books that gave her the idea. She'd been accepted into other universities, places far from Sunnydale that had wanted her to attend, even offering scholarships. She could transfer there, move away, out of the state.
That would be running away. She knew that, accepted that. But what did she have left to stay for? Xander and Anya kept talking about moving, her own family had no call on her, barely remembered that she existed. That only left... Spike and Buffy. Considering what she'd seen, she doubted that they'd miss her very much. Running away was looking very good right about now.
A shower and a change of clothing made her feel... well, if not human then at least capable of passing for one. She was surprised that it didn't show in her face, she just looked a bit pale, her eyes gone dark, as if she'd channeled too much magic, and a bit sunken. She would go to a travel agency and arrange to leave Sunnydale, to go to one of the other colleges. Whichever she could arrange for the easiest - it didn't make that much of a difference.
Unfortunately, when she got to the Travel Agency, the person that she needed to talk to wasn't in yet, and wouldn't be for another hour. She decided to wait over at the Espresso Pump, in the feeble hope that a bit of coffee might help her feel a bit better. She had no idea how much worse her day would get as a result of that single decision.
She was halfway through her mug of coffee when Buffy walked in. Just... sauntering along as if everything was perfectly fine, as if she hadn't been screwing someone else's boyfriend last night. Her 'best friend's boyfriend.
Then Buffy's gall increased, as she plopped herself down at the table with Willow, her lips stretched wide in what was supposed to be a cheerful grin. "Hey Wills, what's up? I didn't see you at the shop this morning."
How could she act as if nothing was wrong? As if everything was normal, that they were just a pair of friends? How could she act as if she wasn't... Something inside Willow cracked, and she knew that Buffy would never have told her, didn't care enough to tell her.
"Because I didn't want to see you." Willow was almost surprised at the chill and venom in her voice. "Not after seeing you last night."
BUffy's forehead crinkled a bit as she considered that. "I didn't see you last night, Willow."
"No, you didn't see me. You were too busy fucking my boyfriend."
BUffy blinked, her smile falling away, leaving a blank, almost dead expression. "What... oh. YOu saw... He doesn't mean anything to me, Willow. It's not like he counts."
Willow had thought that the situation couldn't get worse than her 'best friend' sleeping with her boyfriend. She'd been wrong. If Spike meant nothing to Buffy, then apparently Willow's relationship, her happiness didn't mean anything to Buffy either. "Why, Buffy? Why my boyfriend?"
"Because I knew he would do it. He wanted me, he always did. I knew if I gave him the slightest encouragement, I could have him. Because I knew he could take it all, all the need, all the violence, everything. Because it makes me feel alive again after you ripped me out of heaven." Buffy's voice was cold, her eyes accusing. As if to say that it was all Willow's fault.
"Out of heaven?" The phrase was a stunned whisper, and for a moment, Willow felt almost drowning in guilt for doing that to her friend. But... "That doesn't give you the right to take my lover. That doesn't give you any rights to him at all. Cherish those memories Buffy. Behaving like a slut doesn't get you back to heaven when you die."
Willow almost didn't see Buffy move, but suddenly, she was on the floor, her eyes full of sparks, her head feeling as if it was spinning and her jaw hurting. Her side hurt from hitting the floor as well. Carefully, her whole body protesting, Willow picked herself up, looking at Buffy.
"What are you going to do about it, Willow? You can't make him stop, he keeps coming back to ME." Buffy's voice was harsh, as if calculated to hurt.
For a moment, Willow wanted to undo her spell, to send Buffy flailing back to the afterlife, to use her power to rend the Slayer limb from limb. Dark energy surged, filling her, humming inside, the pain in her muscles fading away in the coolness of the power. "You are nothing, Buffy Summers. You have become a mere shell of a human being, and eventually, that shell will collapse."
She walked out, turning her back on the person that she'd imagined her friend. Turning her back on Sunnydale. The temptation to unleash her powers, to burn Buffy to the nothing that she'd accused her of being was so strong, so thick that she could taste it. But that wouldn't erase what had happened, wouldn't erase the memories of seeing them together, wouldn't get rid of the betrayal. And if she started to destroy, would she care enough to stop? She didn't know.
But there was nothing to stay in Sunnydale for. Especially since she knew that Buffy had been right about some of it. Spike HAD wanted the Slayer before. Just because she'd assumed that he didn't... had she just been a substitute all along? Spike had gone to Buffy, had apparently kept going to Buffy, and he hadn't told her, hadn't been able to give the single thing that she'd asked of him - honesty.
"Goodbye Sunnydale. It's been real." She didn't think that she would ever come back to this place again. At this moment, she couldn't imagine anything that would be reason enough to return.
It was only a few minutes and she'd arranged to go to New York, to try to transfer to Yale. To build a new life away from Sunnydale, away from the images of the two people that she'd thought had cared. Away from the broken shards of her heart.
Away from a Slayer that Willow had accidentally pulled from heaven. Away from a vampire that had finally gotten his obssessive desire. Away from the Hellmouth. Just... away.
The END