Main characters: Willow, Spike
Pairing: mentioned Willow/Oz, Spike/Dru
disclaimer: all characters belong to Joss Whedon.
distribution: Bite Me please?, NHA, Wic, WLS, Soulmates - anyone else just ask.
Notes: slightly AU just after Wild at Heart (mid S4). Thanks to Jinni for the title.
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"I saw them the night before." The words were soft, only a trace of the edgy British accent that still haunted her nightmares. What should have been more alarming was the fact hat he was so close to her.
Willow tensed, turning to look at him. He was just another shape in the darkness, but the voice could only belong to one person. "Spike."
He walked over, sitting beside her on the merry-go-round, hands shoved into his pockets, the green neck of a bottle poking from the one nearest her. "You know it's not smart to be out here, not after dark. Dangerous things come out to play in Sunnyhell."
"I know." She blinked, wishing that she could just cry about it. Just weep and wail about the pain of Oz sleeping with that she-wolf, of him nearly killing her, of him leaving. But the tears wouldn't come. She also wondered why he cared, why he would even think twice about her pain. She was nothing more than the associate of one of his enemies. "I found them that morning, and then she found me last night."
"Love's a bloody bitch." He murmured, his breath smelling faintly of whiskey.
"Dru?" She couldn't quite finish the question. But Spike was here alone, wasn't he? Why would he leave the woman that he'd been devoted to for so long?
"A fungus demon." The words were bitter, pain and anger threading over despair. "I thought that I could forget her, replace the memories with someone else."
"Did she.... did she ever say why? What you couldn't give that she was looking for?" The words were dangerous. They might make him angry, and if he decided to take that anger out on her... Her magic would probably not be a match or a two hundred year old master vampire.
"She tried to tell me someone else had replaced her in my head." The words were a growl. "That my mind was full of blonde hair and hazel eyes. The bloody bitch."
"Buffy?" Willow could barely breathe the name. Everybody wanted Buffy, after all. She could see how Dru might think that. Especially since Spike probably hadn't expected Buffy to fight in such unorthodox ways.
For a moment, he growled, eyes flickering yellow and hostile. "Yes... But it's a bloody lie. I want to kill the Slayer, not shag her."
"And he couldn't help his wolf..." Willow winced as she remembered Oz and his lame excuse. She shouldn't be sitting here with him, shouldn't be talking about the painful betrayals that lovers could do. "Stupid lies... like that's going to make it hurt any less."
"No, it doesn't." The growl was gone, and he reached over, hand resting on hers. "It won't help tomorrow, but for tonight, for right now... I got a few ideas to make you feel better."
She knew she shouldn't ask. She knew that his advice would be bad for her. "What sort of ideas?"
He reached into his pocket, pulling the bottle from his coat. "This pushes the pain away, like one of those damn barriers for a house. It can't quite touch you for a while."
"Really?" The word slipped out as her fingers moved - had she told her hand to grab the bottle? Slowly, it lifted from his hand, moving closer to her lips. "The pain... won't be right here with me?"
"Not for a while, at least. And if you drink enough..." He leaned back, shaking his head. "Drink enough, and the hurt of what he did won't be the first thing on your mind in the morning."
"You were right, Spike." Willow sipped from the bottle, the alcohol burning in her mouth as she swallowed. "It's stupid for me to be here. Unsafe, unwise..."
He watched in silence as she took another drink. "And here you are."
"Here I am." Willow agreed.
"What do you want tonight, red?" His words were soft, not slurred with drink or harsh from anger.
Willow let another mouthful burn its way down her throat, pooling in her stomach. "In the interests of it hurts too much, I want to see if maybe you're onto something. If maybe you have something to make the pain less, even if only for a little bit."
"You know I am, red." His words were soft, almost calculating.
Willow nodded slowly. She also knew that this was stupid of her. For so many different reasons. And it was much too late to change anything, even if she wanted to. Maybe she should just hope she survived this night of folly... Folly and drinking, there would obviously be drinking.
She hoped she lived to regret tonight.
End