Evermore

Author: midnight

Parts: 21 - 26

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~Part: 21~

Twenty minutes later Spike and Willow were walking towards Giles flat in silence. A complete and utterly uncomfortable silence. He kept glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, but she was only staring straight ahead.

They made it to the Watcher's flat and were about to open the door when he heard her voice.

It had taken all of her will power to not look over at him. To not melt into his arms and let the world disappear. Willow turned to face him. "Why do you come here?"

"What?"

"You hate all of us. Why do you insist on coming here night after night?"

"I figured it would be obvious by now."

"Apparently, it's not." Her patience was quickly running out. 'Why can't he just tell me?'

"I come here.it's because of you, luv. I get to see you. Be with you." He waited for her to say something but only heard silence. "Thought you knew," he said softly. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing is."

"You've been quiet and I don't know.just not there. There but not there."

"Nothing is wrong."

"Right," he told her, knowing she was lying. "Guess there's nothing else to say." Spike walked inside, leaving her behind.

Willow walked inside quickly, taking a seat and immediately started leafing through a book.

~~~*~~~

An hour later, Willow was dying for an interruption. Anything at this point.

Giles had finished writing ingredients on a piece of paper and looked around the room. "Willow?"

Her head popped up at the sound of her name.

"Could you go down to the basement and get the following items?" He handed her the list.

'Something to do at last!' "Sure." Taking the piece of paper, she read the ingredients as she left the room.

Spike glanced around the room, noticing each person was absorbed in what they were doing. Xander and Anya were enthralled with each other, Giles had his head in a book while Buffy was on the other side of the room idly flipping through a book. "Going out for a fag," he told them and stood up. No one even acknowledged him. Instead of going outside, he made his way to the basement.

~~~*~~~

Spike made his way down the stairs, making sure that Willow could hear him. He wasn't loud but he wasn't quiet either.

Willow heard the footsteps coming down the stairs. "I've almost found all of them Giles."

"Not Giles, pet."

Her body froze for a moment before she looked over at the stairs. "Spike! Like I said, I have almost all the ingredients. I should be right up."

"They think I'm outside. Dense, the lot of them." He walked up behind her and placed his hands on her arms. Spike felt her freeze before relaxing against him. He ran his hands up and down her arms in a comforting gesture. "We do this a lot, you and me. Skirt around each other like we're trying to escape what's really there. We never say what we should even though it's as clear as night." Deciding he had said everything that needed to say, he pulled away from her.

Willow turned around quickly, wrapping her arms around his waist. Holding on tightly, she nuzzled into his chest. "Sorry. I'm so sorry," she whispered over and over as a mantra.

Spike could feel her tears seep through his shirt. She was holding onto him as if he was her last lifeline to the world. He wondered what was really going on. Wrapping his arms around her, he held onto her tightly. "Sshh, it's gonna be ok."

Willow pulled away from him slightly, allowing him to wipe away her tears. "It's not ok. I.I messed up.with you. I don't even know what happened. When you pulled away from me."

"That wasn't about you, it was me." 'How am I supposed to tell her the only reason I pulled away from her is to stop from getting hurt. I want to be bound to her but she doesn't feel the same.'

"It doesn't matter. Did you know the only time I'm content and.happy is when I'm with you. I don't even know why. It's not like we were great friends before or anything but."

"What are you trying to say, luv?"

"The.the maybe was actually yes. You asked me something and I said maybe but it should have been yes, not that maybe is always yes because it's not but this time it was."

Spike thought back and knew that he had asked two questions. 'Are you mind to have? Do you want me for yours?' "Um.which.which question did you mean yes to?"

"Both," she whispered.

"Both?" he repeated. He watched her lift her head and nod yes. "That means your mine to have?"

"If you want," she said softly.

"I more than want," he told her and proceeded to show her by pressing his lips to hers. Spike closed his eyes and pulled her closer, continuing to kiss her. As he pulled away, he looked at her and smiled.

"What kind of ritual does Giles want to do?" she said softly.

"It's a bonding ceremony, pet." He looked at the list she hand been holding previously. "Other than that the only thing you need is a crystal and two other ingredients." He continued telling her about the ritual. The words that were said and how important it was.

He suddenly realized they had been down there for a while. "I better go back up, luv; before they start hunting me. Literally."

"I'll be up in a few." She watched as Spike climbed the stairs. "Oh.and Spike?"

"Yeah, luv."

"I don't regret telling you."

He started to grin at her. "Good."

~~~*~~~

Willow gathered everything she needed and made her way up the stairs. Just as she entered the room, she watched Buffy throw a book across the room. "There's no other way to kill this demon, Giles."

"Giles, I got you those ingredients."

"Thank you."

Willow placed a crystal and the other ingredients she was holding on the table in front of him. "And here's this."

Giles looked at her and then glanced at Spike.

"I want you to perform the ceremony tonight. We need to kill this demon. I won't let innocent people die. And I've wasted enough time already."

"There is no way you're doing this!" Buffy told her.

"This isn't your decision," Willow told her.

"Buffy, I can have someone undo the claim afterwards," Giles informed her.

"Fine." Buffy turned to Willow. "I don't think I should see you until the undoing takes place."

"You can't anyways," Giles told Buffy. "In order for the bond to be strong, they have to know each other without any interruptions."

Fuming, Buffy slammed the door as she stormed out of the house.

Giles turned to Willow. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

He turned to Spike. "And you.  You're sure?"

"She made her decision," he grinned.

~Part: 22~

"Willow, are you sure?" Giles asked.

Willow glanced at Spike and then back at Giles. "I'm sure and I."

The front door flew open as Xander and Anya entered. "Food is here," Xander announced. As Anya sat down, Xander looked around the room and noticed the tension. "Where's Buff?"

"She left unexpectedly," Giles informed him.

"On patrol?"

"Not quite."

"Ok, what's going on?" He turned to his best friend. "Will? You wanna give me a clue here?"

Willow took a couple of steps toward Xander. "She's not too happy with me Xand."

Spike watched the two of them very carefully. 'She's MY Willow now! Or will be soon.'

"I'm doing the spell with Spike."

Xander placed the food on the table and then looked at Spike. Looking at Willow again he shook his head. "No! You're not being bound to Spike. He's evil. You're not doing this."

"I have a chance to stop innocent people from dying."

"But it's Spike!" Xander insisted.

Spike could smell the scent of unshed tears in Willow's eyes. He quietly growled, his eyes narrowed at Xander. Spike walked over to Willow, wrapping his arms around her. "Ssh. It'll be ok." He felt her relax against him and pulled her closer.

Xander watched the tender exchange between his best friend and the vampire. "Wills?"

Willow looked up at Xander but didn't pull away from Spike. "I'm doing this Xand."

"I know," he admitted. He glanced at Spike, still not trusting him and looked back at Willow. "Are you sure you're not doing this for other reasons?"

"Other reasons?" Spike asked. "What other reasons?"

Willow took a step away from Spike, unable to meet his eyes. She didn't want Spike to know the 'other' reason.

Giles noticed the situation in front of him but wasn't exactly sure of everything that was going on. "I think everybody should go home and get some sleep. Willow, we'll perform the ritual tomorrow at your house. Sundown. That way there will be no interruptions."

"Ok," Willow nodded. She grabbed her bag and left quickly before anyone could say anything else.

~~~*~~~

Spike caught up with her moments later. "Walking by yourself? Ain't exactly the smartest thing you've ever done."

"I can manage."

"I'm sure you could; or you could let me walk you home."

Willow quickly turned to face him. "I thought you would be staying at the crypt tonight."

"Not bloody likely! Besides we need to talk about something."

"We do?"

"We do." The rest of the walk was made in silence.

~~~*~~~

As the front door closed, Spike shrugged out of his duster, throwing it on the couch. He watched Willow carefully, getting more impatient with each passing second. "Well?"

"Well what?" she asked nervously.

"What was that git talking about?"

"Xander? I don't know."

"You don't know? Don't play the innocent act with me, pet. You couldn't even look at me after he said it." He saw her starting to walk towards her room but stopped when he stood in front of her. "I want to know what's going on, Red. I don't like being played."

"I wouldn't! Ever!"

"If you have hidden reasons for wanting to do this, I need to know."

"It's not that. The thing he was talking about, it was in the past."

"Fine. Tell me."

"But it's in the past."

"I get that but I still want to know. I can stand here forever, luv."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Why are you darting around the question?"

"Fine," she relented. "The thing Xander was talking about.the thing in the past.I had a sorta.I had a crush on you." Willow found herself staring at the ground.

Spike stared at the blushing girl. "That was in your past?"

"Yeah."

"So, you don't have a crush on me anymore?"

"No."

"I see," he said disappointed. "So what do you have for me?"

Confused, she looked up. "Huh?"

"We skirt around each other. We kiss."

"I don't want to talk about this."

"I don't want to talk about it either. Not at the moment." Spike leaned his head down to hers and kissed her. He pulled Willow against him, deepening the kiss, relaxing as she kissed him back.

~Part: 23~

After a moment, Spike pulled back reluctantly. "Sorry, luv. I shouldn't of.I don't regret kissing you, but we do need to talk." Spike then turned around and took a step in the opposite direction.

"Where are you going?" Willow asked.

"Bed."

"My bed?" she squeaked.

"That was the idea." Spike froze and then turned around. "If you'd like me to, I'll leave." He watched her face, waiting for some sort of _expression pleading him to stay but her face remained neutral. He took a deep breath. "Right, then." He walked to the door and placed his hand on the doorknob.

Willow knew what she wanted. She wanted him to stay. She had been so speechless from the kiss that when he said he would leave, it didn't even register with her. As she turned her head, she saw him at the door about to leave. She made her way to him quickly, placing her hand over his, halting his movements. "Stay?" she asked quietly. "Stay here with me?"

He turned to her and smiled. "Done," he nodded. "We should get some rest, luv. Tomorrow is gonna be a big day."

"Ok," she agreed. Walking past him, he followed her, making their way upstairs.

~~~*~~~

As they lay in bed later that evening, Spike pulled her close to his body.

Willow had never felt more content. Spike was lying on his side staring at her while she did the same to him. She could feel him running one of his hands slightly over her back in lazy circles. "This is nice," she admitted.

"Yeah, it is."

Using his other hand, he grazed his thumb across her lips. "You're full of fire, luv. And I'm mesmerized by you." Leaning forward, he gently placed his lips against hers tasting her again. He deepened the kiss, trying to remember every moment.

He felt her attempt to pull away from him. He let out a low growl but allowed her to. He was beyond hurt. "Why do you always pull away? What are you afraid of?"

Willow looked into his eyes, trying to hold back tears. She didn't want to push him away but knew she had to. "That whatever this is between us, it isn't real."

Spike frowned. "Why wouldn't it be real?"

"It's just everything with this spell or ritual or whatever."

"We haven't done the ritual yet, pet."

"But we will and then we have to get to know each other better and then."

"And then what?"

"What if something happened? When it's reversed.you'll hate me."

And it was that last statement when his heart broke. Pulling her close, he swept her hair off of one side of her neck so that he could whisper into her ear. "I want you to listen to me, Red," he said softly. "Listen good. I could never hate you. Ever. You're a lot like me when I was human. And when we touch.when we kiss, there's something there. I feel it and I know
you feel it too. And with each passing moment I grow that much closer to you. You make me feel as if my heart could beat again." Spike knew he was baring his very soul, or lack of one, to her and it scared him. "Tomorrow is important, luv. That's why I'm telling you all of this now. We're going to exchange blood, which will make us feel each other that much more. It's one of the most sensual experiences a vampire shares with someone, especially a human. You'll become a part of me. And I'll remain a part of you."

"Sounds almost like marriage."

Spike paused for a moment before he continued. "Pretty much is. Except this is forever. Eternal. Blood is everything to a vampire. We'll be bound. You'll be mine." Lifting his head a bit, he kissed her on the forehead. "Try and get some sleep. I've heard that a bonding ceremony will take a lot of energy out of you."

Willow wrapped her arms around him, trying to get as close to him as possible. "Spike?" she whispered.

"Yeah."

"You know I already am, right?" she asked him without looking up.

"Am what?" he asked confused.

Willow took a deep breath. "Yours. With or without the ceremony, I'm already yours."

Her words sent a warmth through his body that he had not known in over a century. "And I'm yours," he whispered.

Listening to the quiet night sounds, they both eventually fell asleep.

~Part: 24~

Feeling that his arms were empty, Spike reached out to pull Willow close to him. Grasping only air, he frowned and started to pat the bed where her body should have been. The sheets were cold. As he opened his eyes, Spike glanced at the wall. They had only been asleep for a couple of hours. Concentrating on the sounds of the house, he could hear her downstairs.

Climbing out of bed, he made his way down the stairs. He wondered why she would have left the bed in the middle of the night. He knew she wasn't hurt. He would've smelled the blood. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he froze. She was sitting on the couch with her chin resting on her hands. Willow seemed to have a far away look in her eyes. Spike walked to her slowly. He didn't want to make any sudden movements and scare the chit. Kneeling in front of her, he saw her raise her eyes to his.

Willow didn't expect Spike to know she had even left the room. Now that the ceremony for the ritual was so close, too many thoughts clouded her head. Seeing him kneel in front of her, she knew he would want an answer for why she wasn't laying next to him. "Hey," she told him softly.

"Hey. You alright?"

"Yeah, I was just."

"Thinking?" Seeing her nod her head, he continued. "What about?" he asked as he held her hands in his.

"What if we can't kill this demon?"

"We'll worry about that later."

"When later? When we face it? When it kills innocent people? I can't let that happen Spike."

"No one will get hurt."

"You don't know that."

"Luv, I've been around for over a century. Came across a lot of demons in my time. Whatever it is, we'll deal with it. I'll stand by your side through it all."

The comment sent a warmth through her body. "Promise?"

"Always," he said standing up. Spike pulled her to her feet but didn't let go of her hands. He could see the hesitation written across her face. "Was there something else, luv?"

Willow looked down. "What if you don't like being bound to me?" she asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.

Spike dropped her hands and tilted her chin to meet his gaze. He was silent for a moment as he grazed the pad of his thumb across her cheek. "What if I like being bound to you too much? What if after this is done, I don't want to give you up?"

"You won't," she told him. "Probably be glad to get rid of me."

He leaned in close to her lips. "Don't be so sure. I might just want to keep you for mine."

Spike pressed his lips gently to hers, kissing her softly. Pulling away, he started to back up, pulling her with him. "Let's go back to bed, pet."

Once they were lying in bed, he watched her for a moment before placing a kiss on her forehead. "Get some sleep."

~~~*~~~

Willow woke up feeling rested and relaxed. Opening her eyes, she rolled over and looked at the clock. It was already afternoon. Sitting up quickly, she realized Spike wasn't in the room with her. Glancing over at her chair, she noticed his duster was also gone. 'He left. I did something wrong and he left.' Kicking off the sheets from her body, she reached the end of the bed before she felt a tear roll down her cheek. She didn't want to move, she just wanted to sit there.

Spike knew he shouldn't have gone out during the day, being a vampire and all. He had to do this. He had to get it. And he just hoped she would understand. Closing the front door, he clutched onto the hanging bag and the other shopping bag, making his way upstairs to see Willow.

As he entered the room, he suddenly felt like he couldn't move. 'His' Red was sitting at the end of the bed crying. "Pet?" he asked carefully.

Hearing his voice, she looked up. "Spike?"

"What happened? Did someone hurt you?"

Willow jumped up from the bed and ran to him, wrapping her arms around him.

"Luv, I'm a bit confused."

"I.I though you left. I thought I did something wrong. I thought you weren't coming back."

He could feel William surfacing. "You were crying because.you thought I left you?"

Willow lifted her head and dropped her arms. She took a step back. "Yeah," she replied.

Spike took a step towards her. "I just had to go pick something up."

"What could have been so important? It's sunny and you're a vamp and that is not a good mix and something could have happened and.I would have lost you."

"Sit down with me, Willow."

"You used my real name."

"It's important."

As they both sat down, Spike reached out and kissed her knuckles on her right hand. He continued to hold it. "I had something to pick up.for you."

"For me? I don't understand."

"I know this is pretend for you, pet. This ceremony. But I'm a Master and as much as I don't go for tradition, there are some ceremonies that require it. This is one of those occasions. To me it's real." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I went and picked you up a dress for tonight. Thought you might want to wear it. For me?"

"You went out into the sun to get me a dress?"

"Yeah." Spike took an unneeded breath. He looked at her but couldn't tell what she was thinking. "Watcher will be here in a couple of hours. You should go get dressed. That is, if you'll wear it."

"Of course I'll wear it." She stood up and looked at Spike. "In my mind, it was never pretend for me. It was always real. I can't explain how I feel when I'm around you. It's just."

"I know," he smiled. "I feel it too."

~Part: 25~

Just as Spike finished dressing for the ritual, he heard a knock on the front door. Glancing at the clock, he took a deep breath. It could be only one person. Making his way down the stairs, he opened the door to reveal the Watcher.

Giles wondered if this was the best solution for killing the demon. But soon realized it was their only solution. As the front door opened, the sight before him was a bit of shock.

"Spike?"

"Watcher," he nodded.

As Giles stepped inside the house, he turned around to face the vampire again. "Why.why are you.all dressed up?"

"It's a ritual."

"It is still pretend, isn't it?" Giles asked.

"Still pretend. That hasn't changed. But I'm still a Master and this is still an important ritual."

"Yes, well.ok. Is Willow ready?"

"I'll go get her. Why don't you start setting up in the basement?"

"And what direction is it?"

~~~*~~~

After Spike told Giles how to get down to the basement, he made his way back upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door. He heard silence for a few moments. "Pet, you ok?"

"I'm not coming out of here," he finally heard her say.

"I'm sure you look fine."

"I look like I don't belong in this dress. Maybe this was a bad idea, Spike. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this."

"Is that what you want?" he whispered from the other side of the door. "If it is.the Watcher is here and I'll tell him."

"Forever is a long time," she whispered.

"It's eternity, pet." He waited for her to say something in response but heard silence instead. "Open the door."

"No. I don't think I want to come out."

"You know I can tear this door off the hinges. Open it up now," he growled.

Willow reached for the door, slowly turning the lock and opening the door. She waited for what he would say but he was quiet and very unSpike like. Willow raised her eyes to look at him.

"You're beautiful," he sighed.

"I'm not," she muttered.

"Just because you don't see your beauty doesn't mean I don't see it. You're stunning, luv."

"I guess we should get downstairs."

"Not yet," he told her. Spike pushed his way into the bathroom and kicked the door shut behind him. Letting his eyes graze over her body, he gently pushed her against the wall.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Do you really need to ask?" Spike brought his hands to her face, cupping it gently.

"We should get downstairs," she whispered. "The ritual."

"Can wait." Without saying another word, he leaned his lips down to hers, pressing them against her softly. At the first taste of her skin, he only knew that he wanted more.

Willow could feel his lips on hers and it felt like heaven to her. Parting her lips, she felt him deepen the kiss and she felt herself getting lost within him.

Spike pulled back after a few moments, knowing if he continued to kiss her that he wouldn't stop at just that.

"Why.why did you do that?" Willow asked.

"Why did I kiss you or why did you kiss me back?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Because when I kiss you after this ritual, I want you to know it isn't because of that. I want you to know it's because I want to kiss you."

"Oh," she said quietly.

"You really are stunning, luv."

Willow began to relax at the sound of his voice. "Thank you. Not so bad yourself, huh?"

He couldn't help but to smirk at her. "When the occasion calls for it, I dress up. You ready?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I am."

~~~*~~~

Making their way into the basement, Willow froze suddenly. There were candles lit everywhere. And what was about to happen suddenly came crashing down on her.

Spike could feel her body tense. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and leaned down to her ear. "You're with me. Nothing is going to hurt you. After this you'll be mine and I'll kill anyone that ever hurts you again."

She leaned back against Spike and turned her head to look at him but she was still tense.

"Listen to me, Red. You're here with me. Just think about that. Don't think about anything else."

Giles could see the hesitation between them. "Are we ready to perform the ritual?"

"In a minute, mate," Spike told him. He turned Willow around to face him. "Luv, this is me. What's wrong?"

Willow opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. "What happens if after we do this, you figure out I'm not good enough to be your other half?"

"What if it's the other way around? Did you ever think about that? What if you complete every aspect of my life? What if after this happens, I can't live without you?"

Willow could feel her breath catch in her throat. "I hope you're right," she whispered.

"About which part?"

"All of it," she said accepting of it. Grabbing his hand, she interlocked their fingers and took a step towards Giles. She was ready to start the ritual.

~Part: 26~

Spike and Willow stepped inside the circle of candles. Willow felt him resting his hand on her back as a comforting gesture. The slight touch relaxed her.
 
Giles took a deep breath. He couldn't believe he was bonding his 'daughter' to a vampire. "If you're ready; I need you to face each other and join hands."
 
Willow turned around and faced Spike. She felt him grab her hands, interlocking their fingers together. They each shared a small smile with each other. She turned her head slightly, seeing Giles holding a dagger.
 
Spike could hear her heart beat speed up. Gently, he traced small circles against her skin with his thumb.
 
"Before we start," Giles said. "If either one of you wants to stop this or back out, now is the time to do so." He watched as they both shook their heads no. "Then we shall begin," he told them as he loosened his grip on the dagger. He then turned to Spike. "Repeat after me. As a demon, I am willingly binding myself to a human life."
 
"As a demon, I am willingly binding myself to a human life."

"To cherish."
 
"To cherish," Spike repeated.
 
"And to protect."
 
"And to protect."
 
"For eternity and beyond. Evermore."
 
"For eternity and beyond. Evermore." He accepted the dagger as Giles handed it to him. Spike slid the sharp cold blade across his wrist, smelling the blood as it surfaced. He held his wrist up to Willow. "I offer you my blood." He could see her hesitation. "It's ok, luv," he whispered.
 
Willow cradled his wrist in her hands and slowly brought the offered blood to her mouth. Snaking her tongue out, she tasted the blood. The coppery taste of it reached her senses. Softly, she placed her mouth against the wound, tenderly sucking at the offered blood.
 
The feel of Willow's lips against his skin felt like the closest thing to heaven he would ever get. Closing his eyes, he had to hold back the groan of pleasure he was feeling.
 
After a couple of minutes, Willow lifted her head. She watched as Spike's eyes opened. They were flashing between gold and blue. She could still taste the blood on her lips.
 
Giles then turned to Willow. "Willow, I need you to repeat after me."
 
She nodded her head yes.
 
"As a human, I am willingly binding myself to a demon."
 
"As a human, I am willingly binding myself to a demon."
 
"To care for."
 
"To care for."
 
"And to protect."
 
"And to protect."
 
"For eternity and beyond. Evermore."
 
"For eternity and beyond. Evermore." Willow took the dagger, holding the tip of the blade to her skin, but froze.
 
Spike could smell the fear rolling off of her body. "Are you alright?" Spike whispered.
 
She looked up at him, her eyes wide with fright. "What if I cut too deep?" she whispered just as softly.
 
"Do you trust me?" He watched as she nodded her head yes. Spike took the dagger away from her and handed it back to Giles.
 
"But you have to." Giles started to say.
 
Spike morphed into gameface and when he turned back to Willow, their eyes met.
 
Willow expected to be frightened, but the sight of his demon was oddly comforting. She held up her wrist. "I offer you my blood."
 
Spike didn't waste a moment. Holding her arm, he slid his fangs into her wrist, piercing the skin. He drank for a moment or two before pulling away and lapping at the stray drops of blood.
 
"And it is done," Giles said softly. He blew out one candle causing the other candles to also flicker and then go out. He turned to Willow and Spike. "You have seven days to get to know each other. I'll leave the two of you alone."
 
Just as Giles was leaving, Willow started to feel dizzy and lightheaded. "Spike," she whispered before everything went black and she passed out.
 
Spike heard her whisper and reached out to catch her in his arms as she started falling.
 
Giles turned around in time to see Spike catching Willow. Spike looked up when he felt eyes on him. He saw the Watcher carefully observing them. "Ceremony just took a bit out of her, mate. That's all." After seeing Giles leave, he kissed Willow on her forehead and carried her out of the basement.

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