Pairing: Spike/Willow
Rating: overall NC17
Summary: Willow and Spike have become friends over the past couple of months.......
Distribution: www.redssoulmates.com
Feedback: No feedback..no fic. Lots of feedback..I write more. I thrive on it.
Disclaimer: Don't sue. I don't own any of the characters. I don't make any money from it. All credit goes to Joss.
Spoilers: Not really following any story lines. See notes.
Notes: Riley and Buffy are together. Anya and Xander are together. Dru is Spike's sire but she was dusted awhile back. Spike has the chip. Willow lives at her parents house.
Dedication: This was a fic that I started over six months ago but never posted. I've revamped it a bit. I dedicate this fic to all the girls that have given me constant encouragement and advice on the fic. Especially: Feen, Fayth, Jenni, Knightie, Angel and Kat
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~Part: 1~
Willow was typing away at the computer when Spike strolled into the Magic Box. No one even looked up to acknowledge his presence except for Willow. She quit typing and looked up at him. Willow's green eyes met his blue and she gave him a small smile.
Spike looked around the room as he entered the Magic Box. No one even glanced his direction except for Willow. His Red. Well, not technically his.
The other scooby members had become oblivious to the growing friendship between the vampire and the witch. Over the last few months, Spike had managed to almost mold his life to fit hers. Not that he would ever tell her that.
At first, it seemed that Willow and Spike were thrown together. Especially during patrol. Every patrol consisted of the same pairing. Buffy and Riley would always start at one cemetery with Xander and Anya following closely behind. Spike and Willow would always start at a different cemetery. Spike didn't want to have to run into the Slayer and this way he could spend more time with Willow. As all six of them were out patrolling, Giles would stay behind and continue to research. Always researching.
As time went by, Spike and Willow started talking. Not only about everyday things, but about their lives. Their pasts. Spike explained to her about the love he had, had for Drusilla. He would tell her about life with Angelus and all of the places he had been to as a vampire. He had kept the details vague, not wanting to scare her off. He didn't want her to really know about that side of him. Not yet. When she would bring up his days as a human, he quickly changed the subject. He wanted to tell her but at the same time, part of him didn't want her to know. He was afraid she would turn away from him if she knew.
Willow would tell him about her life before Buffy. Her friendship with Xander. She would tell him about her lack of parental figures and her need of friendship.
As even more time went by, they would start discussing other subjects. Art. Literature. Even plays. She loved hearing about his life and he found himself yearning to learn more about her. As the research sessions and nightly slaying continued, Spike felt a need to protect the chit. He would find himself at her house most nights. He had started to crave the attention she would give him. He also loved the fact that he could light up her face with one glance. Spike would tell her that he came to her house for the cable. Or the hot chocolate she would prepare for him. The truth was it was her. He had started enjoying being with her. Her scent. Her very being called out to him. Even to his demon. Some nights they would just stay up talking and watching movies. It was those kinds of nights where Spike would pretend to fall asleep on the couch, just so she wouldn't try to send him back to the crypt.
As Willow glanced at him, she thought about the last few months. The patrols. The talks and hot chocolate. She didn't even mind when he pretended to be asleep on her couch. She enjoyed him being there. Willow enjoyed his attention and his company. Spike seemed to ignite a flame that was within her. She felt alive. Willow took her eyes away from Spike and tried to push her thoughts aside as she continued researching on the computer.
~Part: 2~
Spike walked through the room and sat down in a chair next to Willow. "Red," he stated.
Willow looked up at him. "Hey Spike."
"So..." he started until Buffy interrupted him.
"What are you doing here, fangless?" she questioned Spike.
Spike turned his head towards the Slayer and gave her an annoyed look. "Patrol. Killing the demons. The bad guys. Does any of this register in that thing you call a brain?"
Buffy narrowed her eyes and glared at Spike. As she continued to glare at him, she started talking to Giles. "Giles, may I please stake him now? No one would miss him."
Spike saw Willow's body tense as Buffy said her last statement. Before Giles could answer, Spike cut in. "Sing me a new song and dance, luv. That routine..it's gettin a little worn out."
Giles felt the need to interrupt them both. "Spike, I'm sure what Buffy meant to say was that patrol has been canceled for tonight. Since demon activity has quieted, I thought everyone could do with a day of rest. Buffy and Riley will make one sweep across town and we will meet back here tomorrow."
"See ya." Spike stood up and turned to Willow. "So Red...."
"Don't talk to her," Buffy interrupted.
"What?" Spike and Willow both asked in unison facing her.
"I don't want you talking to her." Buffy looked at her best friend. "He's a vampire, a demon. He's not even our friend. We keep him alive. Blood. Smokes. This," she said as she pointed at Spike. "This is an act. To get what he wants. The second he gets that chip out, we're all dead. Whatever he has said to you..you can't trust him. He's just using us. He's using you."
Willow stood up and Spike lightly placed his hand on her shoulder. He looked into Willow's eyes. "Pet, that's not...It's not like that," he told her softly.
Willow looked into his eyes and knew he wasn't lying to her. She didn't know how she knew, she just did. But no matter what Spike said, it didn't let Buffy's words sting any less. To Willow, her words were painful and harsh. Willow took her eyes away from Spike and directed them to Buffy. "Maybe you need to back off a bit."
"Back off?"
"Back off. From me. From Spike."
"Slayer, you don't have a bloody clue at what you're yapping about."
"Save your little speech, Spike." Buffy then looked at Willow. "Wills, this is Spike. Demon Spike. He's tried to kill us how many times? He's tried to kill you the most."
Spike could feel his demon trying to surface. "It's not like I wouldn't bring her back, Slayer. I'd turn the chit."
Buffy couldn't believe that Spike had even said that. "Over my dead body."
"That can be arranged," he spat out.
"I can't believe I'm talking to you about you turning my best friend."
Spike could feel the anger and hurt that surrounded Willow. <Don't believe her, Red. You know those things she said aren't true. I care for you. You're the closest thing I have to a best friend.>
Buffy wasn't giving up on this. "Willow, you're sweet...and a little ordinary. But not in a bad way though and this is Spike. And he's SPIKE. You're convenient to him and he'll take advantage of that." Buffy could see Willow glaring at her but still remaining silent. "I don't want you hurt."
"Hurt? You don't want me hurt? What was that then? Why can't you accept things the way they are and not how you think they should be?" Willow could hear her voice getting louder and louder, but she didn't care.
Buffy couldn't believe it. Her own best friend wasn't listening to her. She saw Willow gathering her laptop and bag. "I'm watching out for you Willow."
Willow didn't know what to say. The anger was overflowing through her body. She threw her bag over her shoulder and looked at Buffy. "Watching out for me? Then you can watch me walk out that door." Willow stormed out of the Magic Box and into the night.
Spike watched as the redhead stormed out and left the Slayer in a state of shock. He then looked at Buffy. "I know this may be hard for you to grasp Slayer but I wasn't planning on hurting the girl. You seem to do that pretty well yourself."
"Shut up."
"You call yourself her best friend. What a laugh!"
"Stay away from her Spike," Buffy demanded.
"Not bloody likely."
"I swear I will stake you here and now.
Spike's eyes flashed golden. "Don't threaten me," he growled. "I will override this damn chip and a new Slayer will be called to take your place. Understand?" He then stormed out of the Magic Box in hopes of finding Willow.
~Part: 3~
Spike started walking down the street, but he didn't see Willow. He couldn't even find her scent. <Maybe she just needed to cool off. I wish I knew where she was at.> He started making his way through one of the graveyards. <Red, where are you?> He hated not knowing where she was. This, after all, was the Hellmouth. Looking around, he decided there weren't many places she could go. Not in this town. Finally, he made his way back to her house; not sure of where she would be.
As Spike let himself in, he knew she wasn't there. The worry through his body deepened at that notion. Slowly, he made his way up to her room and did the only thing he could. He waited. His demon stirred at that notion. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long. Moments later, he heard the front door open and shut. He relaxed, knowing it was her.
Willow was still upset when she entered the house. The anger that had been building within her, turned into tears. She wanted to yell but the only words that came out of her mouth was a mumble. "Sweet. Ordinary. Who does she think she is? I can be...well...something other than ordinary." Willow put down her bag and opened the fridge. She pulled out a soda and headed upstairs. "I wish Spike never had that chip," she mumbled.
Spike had been listening to every word she mumbled. He couldn't help but to smirk at her last comment. <That's a wish we both make, pet.> At this moment, the bedroom door opened.
Their eyes met but then Willow looked away. She walked in the the room and placed the soda on her desk. "What are you doing here, Spike?"
Not quite the greeting he expected. Spike looked her over. She was still trembling with anger. He also noticed her face had tear stains.
"I mean why are you here?" She walked over to the bed and sat down, ignoring his glances.
"I always come here after research. But if you don't want me here, I'll leave."
"Fine. Leave. There's the door."
Spike let out a low growl and started to head for the door. Suddenly he turned around to face her. "Wait just a bloody moment. The daft bint of a Slayer makes a comment and that's it? Suddenly everything we share between us dissolves?" He started to walk towards her. "The things she said...pet, I choose to come here." <Please don't push me away.>
"You don't have to be here because you feel obligated or you feel you need to...cause if that's why you're here...I mean you've been my best friend lately. I can actually hold a conversation with you. Well, you're you and I'm...I'm fine. Really. So..."
Spike watched the emotions that crossed over her face. He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her.
Willow looked down at the floor. "It's just that the things she said..."
Spike placed his fingers under her chin and tilted her face up to meet his. "Are not important," he said finishing her earlier statement. "The things she said aren't true. Besides if I wanted to do something evil, I could do it right here." He watched as she looked at him questioningly. "I could always corrupt you luv," Spike said with a smirk.
Willow felt herself smile and relax a bit next to him.
"You should think about getting some rest, luv. That scene earlier got you pretty riled up."
"She made me so angry. I mean I know I'm pretty ordinary. And I'm probably a passing whatever in your unlife but..."
Spike could feel his body tense. "What the hell do you mean a passing whatever?"
"Like friends of convenience in a way."
"Is that what *I* am to you, Red? Something to pass the time?" Spike jumped up quickly and started to pace the room.
Willow stood up. "I didn't mean it like that."
Spike stopped pacing and walked a few steps towards her. "How did you mean it, then?"
"I just..."
"What am I to you, Willow?"
<Everything, Spike.> Willow said nothing.
"Am I your best friend? Am I just a passing fancy in your book?" He waited for an answer but heard nothing. <The one girl that can bring out 'William' in me and she thinks nothing of me.> "Figures," he spat out. Spike stormed out of the house slamming the door.
~Part: 4~
The next afternoon, Willow found herself at the Magic Box leafing aimlessly through a book. The only thing she could focus on was the fight she had with Spike. <Everything between us was going so well. We were friends. Then everything got turned upside down.> As her mind started to wander, she felt the couch sink next to her. As she looked over she saw crystal blue eyes staring at her.
"Pet," he said softly.
"Spike."
"About last night. Things got a bit harsh. I was out of line."
"You were just being blunt. Telling it like it is. Isn't that what you usually pride yourself on?"
<So much unsaid.> "I should have told you..."
"Spike," the Watcher called out as he entered the room. "You are aware that it's daylight outside. The thing in the sky that makes you dust?"
"Just stopped by."
"For what?"
"Well...um...I was gonna teach Red here a few fighting moves. To better equip herself when she's fighting the undead."
"Oh, then very well. You can use the room in the back."
"Right, then." Spike turned to Willow and grabbed her arm. "Let's go."
"But Spike..."
"Fight now, talk later."
Willow allowed herself to be pulled into the back room. Spike closed the door behind them and shrugged off his duster. He watched as Willow took off her own jacket and threw it in the corner. "Why am I learning to fight?"
"You don't want to learn?"
"Yeah, I guess. Is it the real reason you came here?"
"No." For the next two hours, Spike taught her various moves against demons and vampires. And for those two hours, he was distracted from having the feel of her body under his touch. "Let's see what you've learned, luv." Spike danced around Willow, finally coming up behind her. He grasped her wrists behind her, locking her into place. He move one leg in between hers just incase she got free from his grasp. As he felt her back against him, he leaned down towards her neck. "Quite the situation we have here, Red. I have you completely at my mercy."
Willow couldn't help but to laugh at the situation. The only thing she had been thinking about was his hands on her skin and where else she wouldn't mind him putting them.
"You're not fighting back very hard." He knew she wanted to say something but hesitated. "Red?"
"I can't do this. We're friends."
"Can't do what?" When she didn't answer he continued. "I'm not letting you go until you tell me."
Willow took a deep breath. "There's a reason I'm not fighting back very hard."
"And what's that, Red?"
"Cause I don't want to." Willow felt his body tense up behind her. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "Just forget I said anything."
Spike dropped her wrists and snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her even further into his body. "Not bloody likely. How am I supposed to forget that?" He paused for a moment. "You were never a passing fancy in my book, luv." Spike placed his lips over her neck and gave her a light feathery kiss, almost like the air.
Willow felt him step away from her and she walked over to gather her jacket. She turned around and saw him watching her. "Were? As in past tense? That almost sounded like goodbye."
Spike wanted to open his mouth and say something. Something romantic. Something meaningful, but he couldn't. "That a question or a comment?"
"You tell me." When he was silent, she took that as her cue. Quietly she opened the door and walked back into the main room.
Spike followed her after a few moments. When he entered the room, Giles lifted his head.
"Training over?" he asked Spike.
"Yeah, mate. Training is over."
~Part: 5~
After answering Giles, Spike let his eyes drift across the room. He saw Willow sitting at the table. Her green eyes drifted through the book in front of her, her body tense. Spike knew she was thinking the worst because of him. Because he refused to say anything. He stalked towards her quietly and pulled out the chair beside her. He sat down, glancing at her once and then focused his attention towards the books on the table. Grabbing the closest book, he opened it to a random page. As he opened the book, the door flew open.
Xander was the first one through the door. "Hey G-man! Wills!" He then turned to Spike. "Evil dead, don't you have somewhere to be?"
"Like on the end of my stake?" Buffy added.
Spike pushed his demon back as Xander and Buffy took their seats on the other side of the table. "Latest boy toy not doing it for ya, Slayer?"
"Silence!" Giles fumed. "Open a book. Read the words. Look at the pictures. At this exact moment I don't bloody care."
Spike listened to the Slayer and Xapper talk among themselves. For the most part they talked about everyday things. He turned his attention away from them and towards Willow. There were so many things he could have said before. Things he should have said. He wanted to tell her the truth. He wanted to tell her that sometime within the last few months he had fallen in love with her. Sometime between research, patrol, talking, movies and hot chocolate he had fallen hard.
Spike had one hand on the table, continuously turning the pages of the book. His other hand, however, remained under the table. Slowly, he reached over and let his fingers brush against her leg. He then pulled back, waiting for her reaction. He heard her heartbeat slightly pick up but watched as she made no attempt to move away. He reached towards her again. He let his fingers brush up against her leg once more. When Spike heard her heartbeat pick up a little more, he started sliding his fingers up and down her thigh. He knew that if anyone realized what he was doing, he would be staked. And he didn't care.
Willow couldn't believe the sensations she was feeling from his touch. One touch and she felt tingles through every nerve in her body. Willow took a deep breath and took a chance. She interlocked her fingers with his under the table, squeezing his hand gently.
Spike was surprised when she intertwined their fingers together. That one small gesture comforted him.
Buffy slammed her book shut, which startled Willow and Spike out of their moment. Quickly they pulled away from each other. "Patrol. Let's go, Spike."
He stood up, not wanting to look at Willow. He was afraid of what her face might show. Would she regret her actions towards him? Silently he grabbed a stake and headed out the door.
Thirty minutes later Willow decided to leave. She grabbed her bag and a stake, leaving the Magic Box behind. As she walked into her house her thoughts still lingered on Spike.
Spike found himself outside of Willow's door two hours later. Patrol had been slow and the Slayer was even more annoying then usual. He easily tuned out her voice and focused his thoughts on Willow. Lifting his hand, he knocked hard on the door.
Moments later he heard a shuffling sound behind the door. He closed his eyes and focused on the movement. He knew it was her. He reopened his eyes. "RED! Let me in. I want to talk. We need to talk."
"We have nothing to talk about Spike," Willow told him through the closed door. <He probably just wants to make up some excuse about his actions. I just can't face him. I can't face that right now. Him not wanting me.>
He listened as she walked away from the door. His eyes started to blaze golden. "This isn't over," he said out loud.
~Part: 6~
Willow went to the Magic Box early the following day. <I just need to open a book and push him out of my mind. At least until sunset.> She pushed open the door and saw Giles flipping through a book.
Giles lifted his head, hearing the bell above the door ring. "Hello, Willow. Quite early aren't you?"
"Yeah. New book?"
"Yes. It's quite fascinating."
"Are we researching anything?" <Something I can keep my mind busy with.>
"I'm afraid not."
Spike had been leaning against the doorway for the last few minutes, watching the exchange between them. He knew she didn't realize he was there. "It'll give you more time for your lessons pet," he smirked.
Willow turned around as her eyes widened. "What are you doing here? Don't you ever sleep?"
Spike shrugged. "Got bored. Ready for your training?"
Willow turned back to Giles. "Are you sure there isn't something I could look up for you?" she almost pleaded to him.
"Not at the moment. Go on with Spike. You should get some training in."
Reluctantly, she stood up from the table and started towards the back room. Quietly she closed the door behind her and shrugged out of her jacket.
Looking at her, the only thing he wanted to do was kiss her. <Push that thought out of your mind, mate.> "How about we go over what I taught you yesterday?"
"OK," she said quietly. For the next hour they traded punches, dancing around each other.
Having her near him was driving him crazy. Suddenly he grabbed her wrists, locking them behind her. He felt her start to struggle and then leaned down to her ear. "Luv, weren't you in this situation yesterday? I told you then you were at my mercy." He felt her lessen her struggles. "Not gonna hurt you, pet. Could never hurt you. You left yesterday and I never got to say goodbye." When she remained silent, he continued. "I won't let you ignore me," he growled.
Willow felt him drop her wrists. She turned around, her eyes full of emotion. "I'm not gonna stay around where I'm not wanted."
Spike's eyes flashed golden for a moment before he pushed her against the wall. "Is that what you think?"
Willow tried to get around him but he wasn't moving.
When Spike saw she was trying to move away, he grabbed her wrists and held them to the wall. Realizing his actions, he softened his voice. "I never said I didn't want you."
"You didn't have to," she seethed. "Your lack of words yesterday said it all. Just let go of me and I'll leave."
"Not bloody likely." He pressed his body to hers and let go of her wrists.
"Spike, I still can't move."
"I know." Suddenly Spike stepped back. "Slayer's coming."
At that moment, the door flew open. "What the hell is going on back here?"
"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Slayer."
Buffy pulled out her stake and was prepared to lunge at the vampire.
"Buffy," Willow called out. "He was just training me."
"Training?"
"So I can fight better. You're not always around and I can't depend on my magic for everything." Buffy was still glaring at Spike. "It's just training, Buff. Chip, remember."
"If you need me I'll be right outside with Giles." Willow watched Buffy leave and closed the door behind her.
Spike snaked his arm around Willow's waist, pulling her back against him. "Where were we?" he whispered seductively.
Willow could feel her heart racing. "Nowhere. We were nowhere."
"Is that what you want?" he asked as he moved her hair away from the side of her neck. He leaned down and started placing small kisses along her shoulder.
As his lips disappeared from her shoulder, she found herself wanting more contact with him.
"You think I don't want you Red," he whispered. "You've misread me though." He brushed his lips across her neck, kissing her skin gently. "The question is do you want me?"
"WILLOW, WE NEED YOU TO LOOK UP SOMETHING!" they heard Xander yell.
"Bloody hell," Spike mumbled under his breath. <Xapper screwing up my moment with Red.>
Willow turned around to face Spike. She couldn't pull her eyes away from his.
"You should go see what they want, luv."
"Yeah," she replied softly. With her left hand she reached up and grazed the side of his face.
Spike caught her hand with his and kissed her knuckles. "Go on, luv."
"If I leave, the moment will be over."
"And you don't want that?" he asked hoping it was true.
Suddenly the door opened and he let go of her hand. It was Xander. "Hey, Wills. I've been sent back here to get you. Giles needs you to look up something."
"Just let me get my jacket and I'll be right out."
"See ya then."
When Xander left, Spike pulled her against his body. "I need you too," he whispered into her neck.
~Part: 7~
Willow turned around when she heard his words. 'I need you too.' She looked into his eyes and knew he was telling the truth. "I have to go," she whispered.
"Right," he whispered and watched her walk to the door.
When Willow got to the door, she froze. Turning around, she walked back up to Spike.
"What is it, luv?"
She placed her hands on the back of his neck and brought his lips to hers.
The first emotion that registered with his body was shock. After the shock wore off, he circled his arms around her waist. Spike pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, letting his tongue explore her.
Willow finally pulled away for much needed breath. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.
Spike tilted her head up to meet his. "I'm not."
Willow walked out the door and to her computer. When Spike heard her typing away on the keyboard, he couldn't help but to smile.
The Scooby meeting went along as it always did. Research and then patrol. To Spike it felt like forever. He knew what he had to do.
An hour later, he found himself knocking on Willow's door. As she opened the door, she took his breath away. She always seemed to take his breath away.
"Spike! Is everything alright?"
"Yeah. No. We need to talk, luv."
"Sure." She stepped aside and watched him walk through the non-existent barrier.
Willow shut the door and noticed how quiet he was being. "If this is about the kiss..."
"Do you regret it?" he interrupted. "Do you regret kissing me?"
"No! But I was afraid."
"Afraid?"
"What if you didn't want to kiss me? Then what would happen? Things between us would be weird and our friendship wouldn't be the same. So I took a chance."
"That you did, pet. I think you should sit down," he told her as he pointed to the couch. "Now it's my turn to take a chance on you."
"O-kay."
Spike sat beside her and pulled out a rectangular velvet box from his duster pocket. "This is for you, Willow."
"A gift?"
"It was my mum's." He saw the surprise on her face.
"Are you sure you want to give this to me?"
"Very sure. She always told me that I should give it to the one girl that I love."
Willow's eyes widened. "You love me?"
"I do, pet. More than anything. More than anyone." Spike looked at the box and then at her. "Aren't you going to open it, luv?"
Willow looked into his eyes and saw the love he held for her. "Sometime over the past few months...I fell for you."
Spike never even realized he was holding his breath. He gave her a sincere smile. "Open the box, luv."
She opened it slowly. At the end of a gold chain lay a small emerald. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. "Spike!"
"Do you like it?"
"It's beautiful."
"If you'd like, I'll put it on you."
"Yes, please."
He watched as Willow swept her hair off of her neck. He clasped the necklace and then kissed the back of her neck. He leaned over to her ear. "I really do love you, Willow."
"Show me," she whispered as his lips met hers. They lost themselves in each other as the kiss continued into the early morning hours. Afterwards, he held her until the sun forced him to leave.
~Part: 8~
Willow woke up the next afternoon noticing she was alone. She sat up quickly, scanning the room for the vampire. <I wonder if it was all a dream?> She drifted her fingers to her neck, smiling when she felt the necklace. <Not a dream.> She stood up from the couch when something caught her eye. Looking down, she noticed a piece of paper on the table.
Willow,
Stayed as long as I could. Had to leave cause of the bloody sun. Hope to see you later.
S
Smiling, she slid the note into her pocket and headed towards her bedroom. After a shower and a change of clothes, she headed out the door and towards the cemetery.
Willow knocked lightly on the door but heard no reply. She then pushed open the door and stepped inside, letting it shut behind her.
Spike climbed up the ladder to the upper level. Without looking, he started to talk. "Whoever the hell you are, I'm gonna rip your bloody head off for being here!" He then turned around and saw Willow. Immediately he froze. "Red? Are you alright? Did something happen?"
"That depends. Are you still gonna rip my head off?" she questioned him.
Spike smirked. "Funny, luv. What are you doing here?"
"I missed you. You left and I wasn't ready for you to go yet." <Maybe this was a bad idea.> "I'll just go."
Spike was instantly at her side with his arms around her waist. "Missed me, did you?" He leaned down and kissed her neck. "I missed you too," he whispered. "Wasn't sure if you wanted me to stay."
"I always want you to stay."
"That right?" He watched as she started to blush. "Well, luv. Since the sun is still out and I don't fancy catching on fire...why don't we go downstairs?"
~~~*~~~
Willow walked around the lower level, looking over the room. "This isn't that bad, Spike."
"It works for me. You deserve better, luv. You deserve better than me."
Willow turned around and faced him. "I love you. You are the better for me."
Spike wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his body. "I never want to let you go, Red."
"Good, cause I never want to be without you."
Spike picked her up, listening to her squeal of surprise. He carried her over to the couch and sat them both down.
"Tell me about you."
"You know about me, luv."
"I mean your past as a vampire. Even as a human."
"No."
"No?"
"Red, trust me when I say you don't want to know. I was, am, a monster in the truest sense of the word. And as a human I was..."
"I just want to know."
"I'm not telling you. Now drop the subject."
"Fine," she mumbled. <I have an idea.> "Look, I'm gonna go."
"Red, don't leave."
"I'll see you later."
He followed her up the stairs. "I'll meet you at your house at sundown," he called out but she had already left. <No kiss. No goodbye. I think I just managed to screw things up. Just bloody perfect.>
~Part: 9~
Willow quickly made her way home and started rummaging through her books. <If he won't tell me details about his past, then I'll find out for myself.> It only took a moment for her to find the right spell. Quickly she set up a circle of white and purple candles. Purity and protection. She mixed the herbs together and sat inside the circle. She then took a deep breath and started.
Goddess, grant me
thine past
To know what is
untold
To see the past
events of my love
Willow felt a surge of power go through her as images seemed to flood in front of her. She started to see Spike as William. The memories would only show her pieces of it, never the whole thing. She saw him caring for his mother. Then what appeared to be a social gathering; he was reading something out loud. She noticed how he seemed so shy and recluse. She watched as the girl he admired crushed him. His human memories seemed to stop there. Willow watched him being turned. She watched him and Angelus kill innocents. She even saw him killing his first slayer. As soon as it started, it seemed, it ended.
Now the circle is complete.
She bowed her head for a moment and gave thanks to the goddess. She blew out the candles when she saw him. Spike was leaning in the doorway. Willow quickly moved away and started cleaning up the remnants of the spell. Spike walked into the room slowly, trying to figure out what was going on. "Spike! I didn't know you were coming by."
"I told you as you left but I guess you were in a bit of a hurry." He finally looked at her. "Is this why you left my side this afternoon? To do a spell?"
"Well, yeah. But it was important."
"Well let's see it then."
She saw Spike about to pick up the book. "Spike, no!" But she was too late.
He placed the book back down. "This spell is for a vampire. Something about remembering things."
"Yeah," she said quietly.
"Since the poof is the only other vampire you know...why would you want to know about him?" Spike knew he was jealous of Angel at the moment but she was supposed to be his. She should have never left the crypt that afternoon. He watched as Willow started to take a few steps back. He could smell her fear. Suddenly he knew. His jealously turned into anger. He tensed his jaw as his eyes started to flash golden. "The spell was about me wasn't it?" he growled.
"Spike..."
"Shut up. I told you to leave it alone. But no, you couldn't do that. Well pet, how'd ya like it? Now you know what kind of monster I really am." Without a second glance, he turned around and walked off. He could feel her following him. When he reached her front door, he turned around. "You betrayed me," he said coldly. "I don't want to talk to you. I don't want too see you. And here I thought you actually loved me. Just proves I really am love's bitch." Slamming the door shut, he wiped away the single tear that was falling down his face. He pushed his emotions away and decided he needed some violence. Violence would make him forget.
Two hours (and many demons) later, Spike pushed his way into the Magic Box. Looking around he noticed she was missing. "Where's Red," he casually asked.
"She called earlier and said she was unable to come in tonight." Giles got lost in his thought for a moment. "She sounded upset but assured me that everything was alright."
<Everything is NOT alright.> Spike walked out the door, leaving Giles to his own thoughts and Spike to his. About an hour later, Spike entered the crypt with an almost empty whiskey bottle. He leaned against the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the ground. Finishing the last of the liquor, he morphed and threw the bottle against the wall; watching it shatter.
~Part: 10~
The next evening at the Magic Box.....
Willow looked around the room, seeing everyone but Spike. <I wonder where he is. Is he ok? Did he sleep last night? Does he still love me?> She felt like a mix of emotions that intertwined into confusion. As she retreated back to her book, she heard the door open. Looking up she saw him enter the room. He looked like hell.
"Well well well," Spike started. "The whole damn Scooby gang together in one bloody room. Cor, I wish I had this damn chip out of my head." He locked his gaze with Willow. "Humans just aren't worth the time."
Willow felt like someone was pulling out her heart. Quickly she looked away from his piercing gaze. "Spike have you been drinking?" Giles asked.
"I've BEEN drinking since last night. Never stopped."
"Maybe you shouldn't patrol."
"Like hell, Watcher. I need the violence."
"Very well then." Giles knew Spike was being stubborn and there was no way of changing his mind. "Patrol. Buffy take Xander and Willow you can go with Spike."
"No," the vampire told him.
"No?"
"I'm not patrolling with Red. Let the bint go by herself. Let her get drained for all I care."
Buffy jumped out of her chair with a stake in hand. "Who do you think you are you blood sucking..."
Willow jumped up quickly. "Buffy! Please don't. Just go patrol. I'll stay here. It'll be fine."
"If it weren't for her you'd be dust," Buffy told him.
"Sod off," he growled and made his way to the door.
Buffy turned to her best friend. "I don't know why you put up with him."
Willow walked away from her with a sad smile. "Because I love him," she mumbled.
Spike turned around when he heard her mumble. He knew he was the only one that heard her. Looking at her for a moment, he took in her defeated form. <I do still love you, Red.>
Two hours later.....
Willow saw the door being pushed open and smiled as she saw her friends enter. Suddenly a frown covered her face when she didn't see Spike. Panic and fear rushed through her body. Just then, Spike limped through the door. Willow saw blood and various cuts covering his body. "Spike!" She ran over to him.
Seeing her genuine concern, he softened a bit. "Luv, I'm alright."
"You're hurt."
"It looks worse than it really is. I just need to get over to the couch."
After Willow helped him to the couch, she caught the wet washcloth Buffy threw at her. "What happened out there?"
"Junior here thought he could take the demon by himself," Xander told her.
"Defeated it, didn't I?"
Willow started cleaning some of the cuts on his face. "Stop," he growled.
"What?" she asked softly.
"Just stay away from me," he told her.
Abiding to his wishes, Willow stood up and walked into the kitchen. She could feel herself on the verge of tears.
About five minutes later she walked back into the main room with a mug of blood. Everyone was gone except for Spike. "Where is everyone?"
"Left. They went home. Watcher is in the back."
Willow sat down next to him and handed him the mug. "I brought you some blood."
"Thanks," he mumbled. As he took the mug from her, their fingers brushed against each other's. They both froze. Willow was the first one to pull away from the moment. Leaning back into the couch, she waited while Spike fed.
When he was finished, he placed the mug on the table and faced her. "Why did you do it?"
"The blood? I thought..."
"The spell."
"I wanted to know."
"Now you know. I'm a killer. A monster."
"Your memories didn't surprise me. They're a part of you. I just wanted to know." She paused for a moment. "I'm sorry," she said softly.
"I know," he told her quietly. "Was it worth it?"
"Not if I lose you." Willow reached around her neck and unclasped the necklace. She drew in a sharp breath as the necklace fell in her hand. She extended her hand, placing the necklace in his. "This belongs to you."
Spike took the necklace and frowned. "You don't love me anymore?"
Willow caught his eyes. "Of course I love you. But if you don't want me anymore, I don't want to keep it."
"Open your hand, luv."
"Spike..."
"Just open your hand." As she did, he placed the necklace on her palm. Spike closed her fingers over the necklace and then closed his own fingers over hers. "The necklace is yours. I am yours. NOTHING will change that. Nothing. Not life. Not death. I will love you until the day I am dust." Spike took a deep breath. "I just can't be here right now." Without another word, he walked out the door. Willow stood when she heard the door shut. She fastened the necklace around her neck and left, heading towards her house.
~Part: 11~
Willow opened the door to her house and locked the door. She reached over to the wall and flipped the switch for the light. As she turned around, she jumped. "Spike! What are you doing here?"
"You haven't exactly uninvited me. I am still welcome, right?"
"Of course. I just wasn't expecting to see you."
Suddenly Spike became very serious. "I tried to stay away. Tried to not think about you. About us. And no matter what I think about, my thoughts lead me to you." Spike walked over to her and stared at her for a moment. He reached out and touched the necklace that she still wore. "You betrayed me."
"Spike..."
"Shh. You betrayed me and I still love you. You consume me. My demon craves you. The man in me longs for you. It's like you're in my blood." Spike ran his fingers through her hair. Slowly he leaned his head down and captured her lips with his. It was a gentle kiss. Nothing forced and full of innocence. He leaned back and stared into her eyes. "I want you with me forever. Eternity. Eventually this chip will short or I'll get it taken out and I will turn you. The question is can you love me always? Can you deal with being a vampire?"
"Spike, I..."
"You need to think about this," he interrupted. As he made his way to the door, he turned around for one last look. "No matter your decision, I will love you always. In my heart you will always be mine." He walked out into the dark night while Willow sat down thinking about everything that had just happened.
The following day.....
Willow entered the Magic Box and saw everyone was already there. Buffy was sitting at the table in a conversation with Giles. She saw Xander sitting in a chair across from Spike. He was obviously glaring at him. Then there was Spike. Willow had known her choice all along. There was no thinking to it. She didn't need time to ponder her decision. Willow made her way over to him and sat down on the couch next to him, earning a glare from Xander. She reached out and took his hand in hers, smiling when she felt his body relax.
"Wills," Xander started. "What are you doing?"
Willow took a deep breath. "Something I should have done awhile back." Willow placed her fingers under Spike's chin and turned his head to look at hers.
"Ello' Red."
Willow couldn't help but to smirk. "Spike." She leaned over and placed her lips on his.
Knowing he could get staked at any moment for kissing the witch in the Magic Box of all places, he wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss. In the background they could both hear Xander.
"Hands...Spike...lips...lips of Spike...Giles do something!"
Spike pulled back from her, ignoring the other occupants of the room. "Think about my offer?"
"I love you," she told him in front of everyone. "I didn't have to think about it."
Spike decided that meant she was declining. "Oh," he said softly. "I thought..."
Willow leaned over to his ear. "I'm yours for eternity," she whispered.
Spike was surprised for a moment. <Did I hear her right?> "You're saying yes?"
"You still want, right?"
Spike started to smirk. "Always." He looked up at everyone else. "We're leaving." He stood up and pulled Willow with him towards the door. Suddenly, Willow felt an arm gripping her tightly.
"You can't leave with HIM," Buffy told her. "He'll turn you."
Willow took a step away from Spike and towards Buffy. "I know."
"As a Slayer, I'll have to dust you. Don't make me do that."
Anger coursed through her body. "If you come near Spike or me...I won't let you hurt us. As a demon, a vampire, I will drain you."
Spike took a step towards Willow and wrapped his arms around her waist. He started to nuzzle her neck and then looked up. His eyes were golden. "Mine," he growled; holding her even closer.
Willow turned her head to look at him and kissed his cheek. She watched as his eyes returned to their normal crystal blue. "Let's leave," she whispered to him.
Still holding her close, they turned and walked out the door. "You're gonna make a magnificent demon. You'll be my mate. You'll be..."
Buffy listened as their conversation died out the further they walked away. She started to wonder if she would ever see her best friend again.
The End