Parts: 11 - 20
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 11~
When Spike got home, he let sleep take over his body. He fell asleep thinking of Willow. Dreaming of her touch . Of her love.
He woke up hours later feeling refreshed. He knew what he had to do. He had to give her the envelope. He got up, had a quick shower and got dressed. He grabbed the envelope from his dresser and stared at it for a moment. He then retrieved a bag from the icebox. Spike then headed out the door, unsure of what he was about to do.
As Spike walked to her house, he recited what he would say. The perfect words to the perfect girl. 'I wish I could make her forget about the other bloke,' he thought to himself. Before he knew it, he had arrived at her home. He saw Xander through the window. Spike lightly tapped on the window to get his attention.
Xander opened the door seeing Spike outside. "Kinda early, isn't it?" he asked.
"Is Willow awake yet?"
"Not yet. I'm the only one awake. What are you doing here Spike?"
"It's a suprise. May I come in?"
Xander looked at him. Knowing what he knew of the hellmouth and vampires, he stared at him with question. "Are you a vampire again?"
"Xander I'm standing in the sunlight. Does it look like I'm on fire?"
"No."
"Have I exploded into dust?"
"Well..no."
"Do I have any questionable jewelry like a certain ring on?"
"Fine. You made your point. What's in the bag?"
As Spike walked through the door, he answered his question with one word. "Suprise."
"The suprise isn't a baby demon is it? Cause for awhile things were somewhat normal around here." Spike raised his eyebrow at him. "I said somewhat."
"I'm just gonna go see Willow, ok?"
"Yeah, I gotta get headed to work anyways." Spike walked towards the stairs and Xander started walking towards the door. "Spike?" Xander asked as he stopped and turned around.
"Yeah mate."
"Don't hurt her. She's been through that enough."
Spike nodded his head and eagerly climbed the stairs. He quietly opened the door and watched how peacefully she slept. Careful not to wake her, he crept into the room and sat at the end of her bed. He pulled a book out of his bag and began to read as Willow slept inches from him. After some time, Willow's eyes started to flutter open. She saw Spike sitting by her feet.
"William? What are you doing here?" Before he could answer her question, she continued. "No, don't tell me. I'm still dreaming aren't I?"
"Pet..."
"I said don't tell me. If this is my dream, how come you still have all your clothes on and why aren't you here next to me touching and whispering..." At that moment the look of horror entered her face. She sat up very straight. "This isn't a dream is it?" He shook his head no. "Oh goddess and I said..about you.. and the whispering thing..and the touching..I think I'll shut up now." The more she kept babbling the more crimson red her face became.
William stood up and brought a breakfast tray to her. On the tray was a blueberry muffin, a bowl of strawberries and a rose. A single rose. Pure white. He wanted to put the envelope on the tray next to the rose but chose with careful consideration to decline the idea.
"Breakfast?" she squealed. "You brought me breakfast."
"I did. I hope you do not think it's too forward. I don't want to crowd you."
"Not at all."
William walked over to the curtains and pulled them back releasing sunlight into the room. Willow stared at him. She watched the sunlight surround him and it brought a smile to her lips. She'd never seen him in the sunlight.
"Pet are you alright?"
"Yeah, it's just the sunlight. You in the sunlight, I've never seen it."
"When I was a vampire, I missed it luv. Feeling the sun wrap around your body like a blanket. The comfort it gives." William walked over to Willow and sat down next to her on the bed. "I missed you," he stated.
"From last night?" she asked.
"Always." He picked up the rose and grazed it along her face. "You are the object of beauty and love." He then grazed it along her lips and stared into her eyes. All of his train of thought, his words that he had recited in his head were at a loss. He couldn't remember them. Any of them.
Willow reached forward with her fingers. She placed her hand into his. She kept her eyes on him. Watching his every movement. She didn't want to forget anything. At that moment he suddenly stood up and took a few steps back. "William?"
"Forgive me Willow but I should have waited in the other room while you were properly dressed."
She stood away from the bed. "But these are your clothes."
"They are..but..I'll wait for you in the other room. Whenever you wish to come out." William bent over to pick up his book when the envelope fell out of his pocket. He went to pick it up but Willow's hand was already on the envelope. "It's mine pet, I'll just put it back in my pocket."
"No you won't. I'm not giving it back to you. It has my name on it."
"Pet you don't understand."
"Because you won't tell me anything. You're pretending to be William."
"I am William."
"A part of you is also Spike. Remember, please." She stared into his eyes but neither of them let go of the letter. "Not only were you a poet and capable of love as a human, as a vampire you were even more intense. You still had the capacity to love. You were possesive and intense and sometimes a girl like me still needs that. Needs to feel wanted."
He let go of the letter. "I always want you. It's just the contents of that envelope..."
"Was it meant for me?" Willow asked.
"It was."
"Why did you not want to give me the envelope?"
"Because you belong to another. Because you weren't mine to have," he said with sadness in his voice.
~Part: 12~
"What are you talking about Spike?" She didn't understand what was going on. <Belong to another? I don't want to belong to anyone else except you.>
"This was a mistake. Goodbye Willow. Perhaps I'll see you this evening." Spike turned around and started towards her bedroom door.
Willow saw him heading towards the door, wanting to leave. <You are not leaving yet. Not until I get some answers.> Willow pointed to the door and whispered some words in Latin. The door automatically shut and locked itself. Spike turned around quickly and stared at Willow. "I want some answers. Then you can leave."
"What kind of answers are you looking for?" Spike asked innocently.
"The truth. No lies, alright?"
"No lies," he stated.
"Why are you here?"
"In this room?"
"Why are you back as a human?"
"The PTB gave me a choice. They gave me the choice to come back as a human because I died a champion. Because I died good."
"They allowed you to come back but why did you?"
"For love. The love of a woman."
"Oh," Willow said quietly. <Lucky girl.> "Do you remember everything you did as Spike?"
"I do Pet. You're right, I am Spike and William. I'm not the demon anymore but I do have to live with everything I've done in my past. And the intensity you spoke of, it's still in me.
Willow smiled. "What's in the envelope?"
"I can't answer that Pet. There are several things in there, but I want you to see them for yourself. May I leave now?"
"Not yet. Did you come back for Buffy?" <Please say no.>
"Hell no. Is that what you think?"
"I don't know what to think Spike. I really don't. You came back and I missed you so much." Willow was trying to hold back the tears but she could feel them running down her face. "When you died, a part of me died with you. When you were gone I felt like I had nothing to hold on to. I mourned for your death every day. It consumed me. There were things I never told you before. I loved you and then you were gone."
"You loved me?" asked Spike.
"Completly." Willow had stopped crying and realized how open with her feeling she was being. "You're back and for someone else. And a part of that is tearing me up inside."
At that moment everything became so much clearer. Spike tried to process what she just told him. <She loved me. I was the one she was mourning. She thinks I came back for someone else.>
"Spike the door, it's unlocked. You can leave if you want to now."
"I don't want to leave yet." He sauntered over to Willow. The closer he got to her, the more she would back up. Until her body hit the wall. Spike looked into her eyes while he glided his fingers through her hair. "It was always you pet. Everything I was. Everything that I am." Willow gave him a puzzled look. "I came back for you Willow." He leaned towards her ear. "I want you to belong to me," he whispered. He took a couple of steps back. "If you wish to keep the envelope, you may. It was meant for you. I was meant for you." Spike watched her for a moment but she said nothing. <Shouldn't she say something? Did I say too much? No I needed to say it. She needed to hear it.>
Willow knew she should say something but her mouth and brain weren't functioning at the moment.
"I suppose I'll leave you to your thoughts." He kissed her on the cheek and left her room. She watched him leave and suddenly felt lightheaded. She sat down on her bed for only a moment.
~Part: 13~
Willow leaned back into the pillows on her bed. Usually she didn't get light headed. She felt sleep take over her body. Even though she had only woken up hours before, she felt worn out. Exhausted. After struggling she let sleep take over. She drifted to sleep clutching the envelope in her hand.
As she slept, images disturbed her sleep. Spike fighting vampires. Buffy dusting other vampires. Giles chanting a spell. A demon attacking her. Spike and Xander at her side. Spike picking her up in his arms and holding her close.
Willow's eyes fluttered open. Instantly she felt different. She could see Giles and Spike leaning over her. One on each side of her. "Willow," Giles started. "How are you feeling? Can I get you something? Some tea, perhaps?" Giles saw the dazed look on her face. "Willow?"
Willow looked up at Giles. "Where am I?" she asked.
"Spike brought you here to my flat. You've been in the guest room."
Willow put her hands on the bed and pushed herself up to a sitting position. She looked in the other direction. Her eyes met Spike's and she started to smile. "William you came back."
"Red..."
"You said you were gonna leave me to my thoughts and then you left. I wanted you to stay."
Spike shared a confused look with Giles. Giles stood up and left the room. "Luv, no one has called me William in over 100 years."
"You're wrong. You told me."
"What was it that I told you Pet?" Spike wasn't sure what to ask her.
"You told me everything. You told me why you came back."
"Why I came back?" Willow nodded her head yes. "Came back from what Luv?"
At this moment Giles returned, handing a cup of tea to Willow. "Willow several days ago, we fought a powerful demon. Before destroying him, the demon attacked you. He hit you hard. You were unconscious. You've been staying at my flat for almost three days. We were beginning to doubt if you were going to come out of it."
Willow turned to look at Spike again. "William, tell him that's not true. Just this morning..."
They all heard the phone starting to ring. "Excuse me," Giles said and left the room.
"This morning what luv?"
"Why do you keep repeating everything I'm saying but in the form of a question?" Willow lifted her hand to caress his face. The moment their skin made contact she pulled away.
"Red, are you alright?"
**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~
"Yes Buffy I realize that you want to see her but the girl is in a
bit of shock at the moment. Give her a couple of days and she should be
fine. Yes, yes. I'll call if anything changes."
**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~
"You're cold like ice," Willow stated to him. "You're Spike."
Spike was trying to figure out some sense in her words. "Pet..."
Willow interrupted him. "I'm not your Pet," she said as her face fell. Spike also noticed the sadness in her face and voice as she said the words.
~Part: 14~
"Just leave me alone Spike," Willow told him.
The words cut through him like a knife. "I'll leave but don't think that you're gonna bloody well push me away Red." Spike looked at her face. It was so full of emotion yet so void of emotion at the same time. He turned around and reluctantly walked out of the room. As he walked down the hallway, he saw Giles.
"How is she doing?" Giles asked.
"I don't know. Something happened. Something. She called me William for some reason."
"Isn't that your name? Well your human name?"
"Yeah but how many of you blokes call me William. Red never called me William before this demon happened."
"Alright, that's a good point. All we can do is wait. Wait until she decides to confide in one of us."
"She can't be silent forever." <I won't let her.>
"Look, I have to go to the Magic Box. There's blood in the icebox. Will you stay with.."
"I'll stay." <With Red, of course I'll stay.>
"Very well. I should be going. Go ahead and skip the research and patrol tonight. It's too soon for her to be confronted by everyone. Just keep an eye on her."
<A whole day just me and Red.> Spike walked into the kitchen as Giles went out the front door. As Spike heated his blood, he rummaged through the kitchen for some food. After he had finished his blood, he placed the other items of food on a silver tray he found. Carefully he walked up to Willow's room. He closed his eyes for a moment listening to her heart beat. He swore he could hear her thinking. <I wish I knew what happened to you pet.> He balanced the tray in one hand as he reached for the doorknob with the other. As Spike walked into the room, Willow looked up at him.
"I thought I told you to leave me alone," she stated.
"You did. I left and now I'm back."
"Go away again then."
"No."
"No?"
"That's right, no. I told you you're not gonna push me away." Spike placed the tray on the side table and pulled up a chair. "I brought you something to eat. It's not much, but then again the Watcher dosen't keep his kitchen stocked." Spike placed the tray over her lap. He dipped the spoon in the soup that was resting on the tray. He brought it up to her mouth. "You need to eat something Red. Soup was all I could find."
"You're gonna feed me?"
"I am." They both sat in silence as Spike fed Willow. When the bowl was empty, Spike removed the tray and sat down in the chair again. "You want to tell me what's going on Red?"
"What do you mean?"
"What happened to you while you were knocked out? Why you woke up calling me William?"
"It's nothing," she told him defensively.
"If it's nothing than you can tell me." He watched her facial expressions. He knew she was holding something back. He wasn't like the rest of the lot. He wasn't gonna wait until she decided to confide in someone. He wanted to know.
"Spike please don't do this." As she said those words, a tear fell down her face.
He looked at her with genuine concern. He watched as a single tear rolled down her cheek. He took his fingers and wiped it away. <Cor, I really am love's bitch.> "Alright, we won't talk about it now but I'm not giving up on you. <Or the possibility of us.> He stood up and picked her up in his arms.
"Spike what are you doing?" <This is Spike. I shouldn't like the way it feels in his arms. William-Spike-why does everything have to be so complicated?>
"I'm carrying you luv." <Does she hate me that much?>
"I can see that. Why?"
He held her closer to him. "Cause Passions is on. You're gonna watch it with me." He gave her one of his trademark smirks and she melted on the inside.
~Part: 15~
He placed her on the couch and sat down next to her. He glanced at the clock, they still had five minutes. "Are you thirsty?"
"No," she replied. She looked up at him. "Look Spike, I'm sure you promised Giles but I can take care of myself. I'm feeling better and no side effects so if you want you can leave."
Spike leaned back into the couch and put his feet on the table in front of them. "Don't wanna leave." <Why does she want me to leave?>
<I don't want him here out of pity.> "Just leave. I'm fine."
Spike let out a low growl. "I'm not leaving, Witch."
Willow slumped back into the couch and let out a sigh. "We're really gonna watch Passions?"
"Well...yeah. Unless you can think of something else pet." He watched as she turned bright red. He leaned over to her and whispered into her ear. "Didn't know you had naughty thoughts about me luv?"
She pushed him away and glared at him. "I don't."
Spike picked up the remote and turned off the tv. "Tell you what Pet, you tell me what happened while you were unconscious and we won't watch Passions."
Willow snatched the remote out of his hand and turned the tv back on. They sat there for the next hour in silence.
~Part: 16~
After the show ended, Willow turned off the tv. "That was...it was interesting."
"Interesting? It was supposed to be dramatic luv."
"Do you watch that everyday or was it let's torture the human hour?" As she said the words, she saw the spark of life in his eyes fade away.
He looked away suddenly finding the floor interesting. "Entertainment pet. Passes the time." He looked back up at her. "Thought you might enjoy it." <What am I doing here? She dosen't even want me here. And I'm wanting to watch tv with her just to be near her. Before you know it, I'll be buying ten pounds of hair gel and challenging my sire for poof of the year.> Spike shook his head trying to shake the mental thoughts away. "Well, I guess I'll be going. You're better and well...yeah."
Suddenly Willow didn't want him to leave. <Think of something. An excuse to make him stay.> Willow saw him walking to the door. "Spike you can't leave yet, the sunshine."
"I'll stick to the shadows, Red."
"You can't leave yet," she told him.
He turned around suprised at her statement. "Why's that?" he asked her casually.
"Well, because...well..." <Think Willow think.> "Because you have to let me know what's been going on with everybody over the last couple of days."
"I'm sure the Watcher will inform you Red. Tell you every bloody detail if that's what you fancy."
Willow lowered her voice. "I-I don't want to be alone. Not yet. Please, Spike."
<Bloody hell.> He nodded his head yes and walked away from the door.
"Actually I'm still kinda hungry. What else does Giles have in his kitchen?"
"Not much, but I'll see what I can find. Why don't you go take a shower? Change your clothes?"
Willow shook her head yes and headed for the bathroom. Later when she emerged from the bathroom, she saw Spike eating pizza. "You found pizza?" she asked.
Spike looked up at her and smirked. <Cor, she's beautiful.> "I found a phone number for pizza and...cash."
"You took Giles' money?"
"He left it laying around, besides he wouldn't want us to starve pet." He handed her a slice of pizza. "Besides I got a craving for pizza."
Willow sat down across from him at the table. "I didn't know vampires got other craving besides blood."
"And sex," he told her.
"What?" she squeaked.
"Blood and sex-those are the two cravings for vampires." He brought up sex just to watch her blush.
Willow tried to focus. "Spike, the pizza? Cravings?"
"Oh right. Well some vampires get other cravings sometimes. Probably has to do with the whole heightened senses thing."
After that they both ate their pizza in silence. When they were done, Willow looked at Spike. "Are you gonna tell me or not?"
"Tell you what pet?"
"What everyone has been doing? According to you and Giles I was out for a couple of days."
"Not much changed Pet. There was still patrol. Still research. Xander was worried about you. I think you gave the moron a panic attack."
"What about Buffy? Was she worried?"
"Worried is a bit of a stretch luv. Better word would be concerned. You did have Giles in a fit though. The man loves you like a daughter."
"I know," she answered quietly. "He kinda makes up for lack of my actual parents." Suddenly Willow became nervous. "What were you doing?"
He saw her become nervous as she asked the question. "Huh?"
"Over the last few days, what did you do?"
<Should I tell her the truth? That I never left her side. How would she react?> "I was..well I was..."
Willow finished his statement. "Chasing after the Slayer?"
Spike looked at her, hearing the hurt in her voice. "Hell no! Who the hell gave you that idea?"
"You have a thing for her," she stated.
"What?!"
"You...fancy her. She told me Spike."
"Bloody hell pet, I was delusional. She's a Slayer. I'm a vampire."
"Angel was..," Willow started.
"In love with the Slayer. It was his cup of tea luv, not mine." <It was at that very moment that he wanted to prove how much it was her that he longed for, not Buffy.>
"It's ok Spike. I'm used to it, guys just fall for her."
"I'm not most guys pet, I'm a demon."
"Yeah, well it seems that demons fall for her too."
Spike could feel the anger rising in him. "Is it so impossible..." He knew what he wanted to say, he just didn't know how to put it in words. He stood up quickly knocking his chair over. "We're friends. Is it so hard to believe that I could care for you? That I have a capacity to love?" He knew his voice was getting louder. "YOU WANNA KNOW WHERE THE BLOODY HELL I WAS. I WAS WITH YOU. I refused to leave your side. Hell, I wouldn't even eat. Giles took pity on me and brought blood to me. The whole bleedin time you were out, I was by your side."
"Spike..."
"Don't Red." He turned to leave. With his back to her, he spoke again. "The Slayer means nothing to me and you mean ev..bloody hell, it dosen't matter." He stormed out of the flat, thankful that the sun had already started going down. Willow stood there in shock. She was confused as she replayed his words in her mind over and over. She grabbed a pen and a piece of paper off the desk. Then she proceeded to write a note.
Dear Giles,
I was feeling better
and decided
to go home to my
own house. Thank
you for everything.
Willow
Willow grabbed a stake and a bottle of holy water. She then walked out the door and walked towards her house.
~Part: 17~
Halfway home Willow slipped the holy water in her pocket and gripped the stake with less force. Considering the sun had just started going dowm, vamp activity wasn't in full force yet. She reached her home in what seemed to be record time. She slipped inside the doorway, away from the cool night air. Willow looked around the living room. It was dark and lonely. She sat down on the couch, stretching her legs out. Her mind instantly replayed the words. His words. Before she knew it, she cried herself to sleep.
Spike sat on the floor in his crypt. His back against the wall. He was drinking Jack Daniels like it was water. His demon was subdued by the alcohol. The human was depressed over a potential love he could have had. The alcohol just made it hurt less. He drank until his body could no longer feel anything.
Willow woke up the following afternoon feeling empty. She knew what she had to do. She quickly got dressed and left, heading towards the crypt door and stared at it. All of her determination and confidence had withered away. She turned and walked away, headed towards the Magic Box.
Spike had been up for hours. He felt so empty, like he was in a trance until he heard it. A heartbeat. He knew only one person would come and visit him in the middle of the day. Red. As soon as he heard the heartbeat, it suddenly disappeared. Fainter and fainter until there was silence once again. He picked up the empty bottle of Jack Daniels and threw it at the wall, watching it shatter.
Willow took a deep breath before entering the Magic Box. The first person that came towards her was Xander. "Wills, you're back! Are you ok? No long term damage? You scared me." He gave her a strong hug.
"I'm ok Xand." Moments later Buffy and Giles emerged from the other room. Giles gave her a small smile while Buffy ran up to Willow. She embraced her in a bone crushing hug. "Buffy, I need to breathe."
"Sorry. I'm just really glad you're alright."
Moments later, everything was back to normal. Researching the new evil in town. And then Spike walked in. For a brief second Spike caught Willow's gaze. He sat on the stairs while flipping through a book. His fingers flipped the pages as his thoughts focused on Willow.
Xander was the first to speak. "Figured you were as good as dust. Haven't seen you in the last couple of days."
Spike looked up at Xander. "Had somewhere to be moron. Somewhere important."
Before Xander could reply, Buffy interrupted him. "Leave him alone Xander. Spike isn't worth your breath. He only cares about himself."
Willow stood up furious. Spike could see the anger surrounding the witch as she glared at Xander and Buffy.
Giles also saw the redhead stand up, furious with the comments being thrown at Spike. Giles stood up quickly. "Willow perhaps you would help me prepare tea in the other room?"
She knew Giles was trying to calm her down. She didn't want to calm down. She wanted to lash out at Buffy and defend Spike.
"Willow, come join me for tea. We'll only be gone a moment." She glanced once more at Spike before leaving the room.
When Willow and Giles were alone, she turned to look at him. "I don't understand. They're still treating him like dirt. He said he never left my side."
"That is correct. He didn't. They don't know that. Spike didn't wish to share that information with them. Only I know." He poured two cups of tea. "His feelings towards you are genuine. I have never seen anyone more devoted than he was to you." Willow closed her eyes for a brief moment. Her mind flooded with images of Spike and William. "Giles, I don't feel so good. I think I'm gonna head home."
"Of course. Maybe you'll feel better tomorrow."
"Maybe." Willow walked out of the room and out of the Magic Box. She could feel all eyes upon her.
Giles returned to the main room and looked at Spike. "Go. Make sure she gets home safely." Spike got up and left before anyone could argue.
Spike caught up to her moments later. "Can't have you walking all alone, now can we?"
"Why do you let them do that? Why didn't you just tell they you were with me?"
"It's none of their business luv."
"Since when did I become your business, Spike?"
"Since always," he replied quietly. In a way it was true, Spike had always been drawn to the redhead. Willow realized she was already home when Spike interrupted her thoughts. "What did the Watcher say to you luv?"
She unlocked the door and then turned to him. "It dosen't matter. Isn't that what you told me last night?" She walked in the house leaving Spike outside. A couple minutes later, Spike let himself in. He heard the shower running and decided to keep to the shadows. When he saw her come out of the bathroom, the only thing she was wearing was a towel. He ran in fromt of her and pinned her against the wall. "Spike?"
His demon was close to surfacing as he pinned Willow to the wall. He could hear her heartbeat increase. "It matters. It always matters. Everything between us." He started running his fingers through her hair. He reached down and kissed her gently, letting his lips linger against hers. He pulled away from her lips and stared kissing her neck. Her body started to relax and melt into his. She reached for him, pulling him closer to her. He had started kissing her shoulder when she pushed him away.
"I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't do this."
"Red, what is it?"
She looked into his eyes. "Human..no vampire..William.." She saw the confusion in his face. "You won't understand."
"Make me understand luv."
~Part: 18~
"Make me understand, luv."
<Make him understand? Oh, sure. I got knocked out by a demon and got sent to a kinda alternate universe. While I was mourning your death, you died to save the world, you came back as a human. Buffy found you. You became Xander's friend. We started to fall for each other. Then I woke up to this reality where the only thing that feels real is you.> She looked into his eyes. <I can't tell him that. He wouldn't believe me.>
"Well? Red, I know you remember."
"Why should I tell you anything? Is it gonna change anything?"
"Maybe, it will change everything pet."
"Or nothing. Let's say it did change something. Until when? Until you get sick of me and start following Buffy around again?"
"Bloody hell. What is wrong with that bleedin head of yours? Is it so hard to believe that I would choose you over her? Whatever this is between us, this is real."
"And it only took a demon to knock me out for you to realize ANYTHING," she told him sarcastically but harshly.
He put his hands on both sides of her face to cup her chin. "I always noticed you but maybe you're right. Maybe it did take this demon for me to realize about you. But now I care only for you. There is no one else for me."
"For the moment," she added to the statement.
"Forever," he told her. "Why are you so afraid to tell me what you remember?"
Willow looked away. Spike saw a tear slide down her face. "If I tell you--you might leave."
He brushed the tear away with his thumb. "I'm not leaving Red. I told you I'm here because of us. You and me. How about you go change your clothes and meet me back down here." He saw her nod her head yes and leave for the stairs.
She came downstairs about five minutes later in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. "Umm.. Spike?"
"Yeah pet."
"You don't have to be here, you know if you have to be somewhere else."
"Well actually I do have to be somewhere pet. I have to be here with you. Now come sit down with me."
Willow couldn't stop the grin forming even if she tried. Willow walked over to the couch and sat down next to Spike. The second she sat down, she felt his arms around her. Holding her close. Protecting her. She started to relax. They both sat there in silence, enjoying each others company. Spike concentrated on the redhead in his arms. Nothing in his unlife had ever felt so right. He seemed to be lost in her scent until she spoke.
"When I was out, I saw you. You were there. You were there in the sunlight."
"Sunlight pet? Not bloody likely. Vampires don't mix well with the sun."
"The sun surrounded you. You told me how much you missed it."
"Pet?"
"You were there. You were different. You were alive. You were human." As her last words were spoken his body tensed.
~Part: 19~
Spike started to relax after the initial shock of her statement. "Human?"
Willow could feel his body become tense after she said that one word, human. "Are you alright, Spike?"
"Fine pet. Go on. I was human."
"You were human with the warm touch and a heartbeat."
"Red, how did I become human? I've been a vampire for over a century."
"You died saving the world. I mourned you for so long. You told me the PTB allowed you to come back as a human. There was something you wanted to come back for."
"What was it luv? What did I come back for?"
Willow snuggled in closer to him. "You wanted to come back for me," she said quietly. "At first I didn't think it was really you. I though it was the evil playing with my mind again."
Spike held her tighter against him. "Nothing is gonna hurt you Red. I'm here now."
A slight smile formed on her lips. "You loved the rain and the sunshine. You told me that you wanted me to belong to you. There was..there was an envelope. My name was written across the front of it and that it was meant for me."
Spike's body tensed again when the envelope was mentioned. "What was in the envelope pet?" he asked her. He could feel his voice shaking.
"I don't know. I never got the chance to look inside. You never told me what was in it, just that it was meant for me." Finally she let sleep take over her body.
When Spike was sure Willow was asleep, he reached down and kissed the top of her head. "The envelope was meant for you luv," he whispered as a tear fell down his face. He held her. Listening to her breathing. Her sighs of contentment.
A couple hours before dawn, he let go of the redhead and positioned her on the couch. The minute he left her side, he felt the emptiness throughout his body. He picked up the blanket that was resting on the couch and draped it over her sleeping body. Spike walked over to her desk and pulled out a sheet of paper. He pulled the envelope from his duster pocket as he walked back over to Willow. He placed the envelope and the letter on her stomach and took one last glance at her. He kissed her once on the cheek before he headed out the door.
~Part: 20~
Hours later............
As Willow woke up, she felt that familiar emptiness once again. She sat up quickly, never noticing the letter or envelope that had drifted to the floor. She glanced around the room, hoping that Spike had decided to stay. Her face fell when she didn't see him. She got up quietly to search the rest of the house, even though something in her body told her he wasn't there. As she made her way back to the main room, a tear escaped and fell down her face. When her eyes drifted towards the floor, she noticed the letter.
Willow,
I stayed with you until a few hours before dawn. I don't know how to explain what you saw while you were knocked out. I do know that you saw a part of me that I have wanted to show you for awhile, pet. You started to fall in love with the human, not the demon. And I am a demon. Your gift is inside the envelope. It is meant for you and I know you'll figure it out. In case you're wondering---by the time that you read this, I've already left town. Don't forget me, Red.
Love always,
William
Willow placed the letter next to her on the couch as tears started to fall down her face. <How could he leave? Goddess, I miss him already.> She picked up the envelope and opened it carefully. She reached her hand in and pulled out the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen. It was a black stone on a silver chain. Engraved in red on the stone was a single word she didn't recognize. She placed the necklace beside her and reached into the envelope again. She pulled out a small piece of paper. She read the word written on it, Aurelius. <Aurelius? I've heard that word. Think Willow think. Goddess, I can't think right now.> Willow picked up the necklace and the letter. She placed both items in the envelope as she headed out the door.
Moments later she walked into the Magic Box. She knew everyone would be somewhere else at this hour. There was only one person she really needed to talk to.
Giles froze as he watched the young girl. "Willow, what's wrong? Are you alright? Of course you're not alright, you've been crying."
"Spike left," she replied quietly. She could feel the tears in her throat. "He left town."
"Willow, I'm so sorry. Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. I need to ask you of a favor but first I need to tell you some things. I need to tell you what I saw when I was knocked out."
"Why don't you sit down while I make us some tea. Then you can tell me everything." He watched as she shook her head yes.
Giles returned shortly with the tea and sat down across the table from Willow. "I saw..I saw some things when the demon knocked me out."
Giles had a concerned look on his face. "What did you see?"
"It felt so real. I was living with Buffy, Dawn, and Xander. We battled a major evil but I don't remember what it was. Spike died in that fight. He saved the world Giles."
"Spike?"
"I mourned for him everyday. Xander lost Anya in the battle. She died and he mourned for her. Giles, something else happened."
"What else happened, Willow?"
Willow took a deep breath. "Spike came back as a human."
"Human? Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Giles, I got to know the man that he was. Not the demon."
Giles studied her face expressions. "Good lord, you started to fall for him."
"None of that matters now," Willow said quickly changing the subject. "He left. He's gone."
"Did you tell him?"
"About what I saw, yeah."
"That you started to fall for him."
"He knew. He thinks I only loved the human."
"Willow listen to me. Is it possible that you started to fall for him before the demon knocked you out?"
"What difference does it make? He's gone." She pulled out the necklace out from the envelope and showed it to Giles. "He left this for me. Do you recognize it? The word, what does it mean? What language is it?"
Giles carefully inspected it. "I'm not sure. I could do some research."
"Actually that's why I'm here. I need to borrow a book."
"What book?"
"Order of Aurelius."
"Willow.."
"Giles, what I saw...it involved Spike. And now this necklace. I can't help but to feel that there is a connection in all this. I need that book. It may be the only answer."
Giles looked at Willow, a girl he thought of as his own daughter. He knew she was hurting and he knew she had a point. "Alright."
"Really?"
"Take it before I change my mind." Giles dreaded asking the next question. "Willow, do you know why he left?"
Willow paused for a moment. "He told me once that everything between him and me mattered." She shrugged her shoulders. "It just didn't matter enough, I guess." She held tightly onto the book as she walked out the door.
Willow walked home, enjoying the sunlight against her face. She made it home and went upstairs to her room. She flipped through the book, not really concentrating on it. About halfway through flipping, she froze. It was a picture similar to the necklace she received. She was gazing at the picture when her mind went back to him. <I wonder where he is? Is he even thinking about me?> She returned her attention back to the book when she smelled the scent. Leather and tobacco. <Why am I doing this to myself? He's not even here. He left.> She slammed the book shut, trying to diminish all thoughts of Spike out of her mind. She picked up the book and headed to the main room as she let the tears fall.