Coupling: Willow/Spike
Summery: Willow reflects.
Warning: *****WARNING MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH*****
Distribution: You can find my stories at NHA, Fire and Ice Archive, Redssoulmates.com, WLS, Spike N’ Willow and SNW yahoo group, Shades of Grey Archive too.
Groups: My Group- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Dees_BTVS_Fanfiction/
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all.
Rating: NC-17
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~Part: 1~ What Would Happen?
Dear to whom it may concern,
It’s been three hundred years since Angel sired me, since then Xander has joined our family of three. I know that’s a surprise huh? He used to hate Angel so much; it’s funny how an act of love can change everything. When Angel sired me he changed so many lives, and built a friendship all of us doubted would ever be.
Xander and Angel became almost like best buddies when Angel sire me, which annoyed Spike to no end. Spike can be so silly sometimes, he just couldn’t fathom why those two became so close and no matter how many times I explained it, he just couldn’t get it. When everything was said and done my death and rebirth lock two long time enemies as friends forever, literally.
It had only been a year after Buffy’s death that Xander became a vampire. He’d been helping Spike and Angel patrol when a group of forty demons surrounded them, Spike said they were ugly buggers. They fought bravely only to at the last minute have their leader stab Xander with something from the demons arm though the stomach. Spike killed the leader, but it was too late Xander was still dieing. Given a choice by Angel, Xander rose the next night to begin his unlife.
Because of what happened that night Anya got her powers back, only with a slight change. Once Patronied Saint of Scorned Woman, she is now a Vengeance demon for the lovers of murder victims, for human and demon alike with the exception of the town where the slayer is. I still find it funny that D'Hoffryn put that limitation on her powers; I believe he just didn’t want to lose her again. She really is good at her job, and she and Xander are not only still together they are mated and married. All those years ago when Anya first made her appearance in Sunnydale, I never imagined that my Xander would find love so deep there.
After Buffy’s and my death many things changed. One of those changes was Faith and Giles. Shortly after the council discovered Buffy had died they called Giles and Faith back to England, leaving the Hellmouth unguarded. We heard sometime later that they had gotten married and Faith had been allowed to retire. They lived out their natural lives out until killed in a car accident seven years later.
Funny thing about guarding things, you don’t really know what will happen when you don’t guard it anymore. Harmony, do any of you remember her, oh well. Harmony became master of Sunnydale two weeks after the slayer and her watcher left town. Amazingly enough that town never ran better; the death rate and missing person’s decreased rapidly. Unguarded the Hellmouth should have opened by any number of demons and evil things but it didn’t because of Harmony. She still is the master 300 years later, that still stumps me sometimes, but she really has changed over the years.
Angel, Spike and I didn’t have the best relationship for years after my siring, but it has gotten better. Now, I just am stunned by what’s occurred in the last 275 years, we’ve share a bed for so long it’s hard to sleep now with out them. My loves, lovers, mates, my sire all those things have surrounded me since that faithful day where a friends betrayal changed everything. I never thought that Angel and Spike could get over their differences, but I think that my soul showed Spike some things about Angel that he didn’t want to accept at first. I know Spike feared that now that I was Angel’s childe that he would lose me, but after about eight years he finally calmed down. He realized that Angel wasn’t and Angelus and that I wasn’t Drusilla.
On nights like this one, when Angel and Spike are performing their duties as Master and Second in Command of the city of Los Angelus, I reflect on the changes that Buffy, Angel, Spike, Giles, Faith, Xander, Anya, and even Oz have made on my life. Surprisingly enough Spike is Master and Angel is Second in Command, hell they only became master when Wolfram and Hart decided to start another Apocalypse. They actually shut that stupid law firm down in 2100.
I’ll always remember what had led me to where I am now and I hope I honor those that have impacted my life in the days and years to come.
I hope one day that my journals and the ones the council had will help others to honor my friends no matter to what end they came.
Sincerely,
Willow Rosenburg,
Childe of Angelus,
Mate to the Master of LA
William the Bloody aka Spike
~Part: 2~ Why the Bloody Hell am I doing this?
*I can’t believe I’m doing this. My mate asks me for something and I jump like a bloody poof. I don’t see why she asked me to do this.* Spike thought.
“Willow, Luv, do I really have to do this?” He asked.
“Why didn’t you just ask Peaches, I’m sure he’d enjoy this?” Spike continued to whine.
“He’s already done it, now get a move on. I want it for our anniversary.” Willow answered moving closer to him.
{I can’t believe he’s being such a baby about it.} Willow thought.
“Spike, it’s not to hard just take your time.” Willow explained.
*Bloody FUCKING HELL! Fine, she wants me to I will, but I don’t have to like it. I’ve been with her for three hundred years and I still can’t tell her no for a thing. God, I love her.* Spike thought as he picked up the first of many journals that he’d be filling for the next few days or even weeks.
Two Weeks Later…
Spike picked up the journal and began to write out the last few details of his life for the last four hundred and fifty years. When he first started he thought there was no way he was going to enjoy this request from his mate but now that he’d started he just couldn’t seem to stop. He filled seventeen journals completely already for the first hundred and fifty years of his life and sixty more for the three hundred years with his love.
*I still can not believe these are what she wanted for our anniversary. She even has Peaches writing these things. I still can’t believe I’ve let him into our bed for the last two hundred and forty-five years.* He thought as he continued to write, he noticed he was about to run out of pages soon.
All Spike’s thoughts seem to leave him as Willow walked into the room. When she slid into his lap, he wrapped his arms around her.
“Good evening, Luv.” He said placing gentle kiss on her throat.
“Good evening, Sweetheart. Happy Anniversary.” Willow said.
“Happy Anniversary. Here is your pressie, Luv. Why did you want these, Pet?” Spike asked as he handed her the boxes that held all of his secrets in little books for her.
“Thank you, so much. I wanted these for us to read together. After that if you want we can burn them together too, so that no one else can read them.” She explained.
“Alright, lets get started then, Luv.” He told her pulling out the first journal.
Looking at his neat writing, Willow smiled as she snuggled into his arms making herself comfortable.
“You go ahead and read it, Pet. I’ll hold you.” Spike told her as he kissed the top of her head.
“Dear Journal…” Willow read.
~Part: 3~ Well, that's just great?
(Angel’s POV)
~March 2300~
I read…
January
2001~
From the Journal
of Liam Angelus O’Boyle~
I watch my childer carefully tonight, just as I have for the last year. One year, it doesn’t seem that long ago that Willow Rosenburg became my childe and full mate to my favorite childe William. I allowed it for the same reason I brought Willow over when she was dieing; I love my childer no matter what they think of me.
My William whispers to his mate now and I think back to the night that my soul or demon contemplated what a vampire Willow would make. One spell and the demon in me screamed for me to embrace her, to make her mine, and now that I have Angelus with in me is finally at peace. Peace with my demon and even after a year I wonder why. Hell, even with Harris in the room bating me I still don’t feel it presence. I’ve only told one person about this occurrence and Wesley doesn’t even know. So, I’ve been asked by the Watcher’s Council and Wes to keep a record of the events and any feelings are to come. Taking a step further, I thought I’d add the history and my past. I just hope these journals will help someone.
Willow makes a beautiful demon, with her soul in place I can see how lovely she could be. William watches her like he could breathe again with one kiss just from her lips. I am so happy that I was able to give him forever with her. I hurt him so much with Drusilla and now that I’ve turned Willow I can see the spark he used to have when he was first turned coming back.
Drusilla made an appearance again recently, but not to see me. She came to see Willow, I don’t know understand why. When she started mumbling about the stars singing I just tuned her out. She was always like that since I changed her and usually only William could understand her. I ended up having to dust her, to keep her from hurting Willow. Hopefully one day William can forgive me.
~Liam~
When I had finished reading his old journal entry to Willow and Spike for the first time, I see the shocked expression on his face. I wish I could see Willow’s but she laying against my chest. I don’t know Spike’s thinking and I wish I could read his mind at times. I’m not really sure what part of this first entry has shocked him. I know some of it must be about Angelus and the fact at the time of that entry it’d been a year without his whispers but it doesn’t seem strange now after three centuries.
“How the bloody hell could you have kept all of this from us? Angelus has left you alone since you’ve made her, is he still quite?” Spike growled as he asked. He rose and began to pace before us.
“Well, that’s just bloody well great!” Spike shouted at me.
“At first I didn’t know if him being quite would last and then after a while I simply didn’t see it as important.” I answered just before Xander came in.
“Hey everyone.” He said coming to sit next to Willow and I.
“Nothing much, Xan. Angel was just telling us that for the last three hundred years that no matter how hard you try you can’t bring out Angelus in him.” Willow told him calmly before quickly leaving my side to move to hug her mate.
“Are you saying that Angelus is gone or just silent?” He asked.
“Silent, because if he was gone I’d be dust.” I explained.
“Cool!” Xander exclaimed.
“Yeah, it’s cool. We love you Angel, you could have told us.” Willow told me.
“I know, baby. I love you too. I honestly never thought about it.” I told my girl.
“Peaches, I’m not angry even though part of me wants to be, just shocked is all.” Spike said before pulling Willow out of the room.
I know where they were going, hell I could smell Spike’s arousal from across the room. I’m not too sure the trigger, but I knew it was there. I still wondering when it’ll dawn on him that I staked Dru. All I can think now is…
Why the hell did I do this?
~Part: 4~ What would you do?
~March 2300~
From the Journal of William (a.k.a. the bloody) Brady,
Bloody Hell! I can not believe he’s been keeping these things from us. He knows how much I’ve feared his demons reaction to my Red, but no, he hides the fact that he’s demon has been quite since he turned her. I always knew Angelus had a thing for the witch. Used to talk about the chit all the time, he did.
“The hacker’s the key to them all” He’d day.
It was true too, but strange as that is, he never attempted to take her out. She told me once that he’d had an invitation to her bedroom but only used it once to kill her fish. Angelus could have killed her hundreds of times over, but never did. I always wondered if maybe his soul was just caged instead of gone and that’s why he never killed Willow or why he acted so different.
I watched them together while he was reading. You know it seemed like he’d just forgot about all these things until he began to read. I know the demon being quite shouldn’t be what I concentrate on, that he killed Drusilla should be a problem for me but all I come back to is Angelus is quite. Huh, that is so odd.
Red and I’d talked long ago about how we felt about Angel verses Angelus. And now that I think about it maybe we both knew he’d changed, but why did he?
Was it the fact that my witch had cursed him? Maybe I’ll never figure this out, I hope I do.
Looking down at my mate, sleeping by my side, I can’t help but to think…
What would you do?
Honestly, the other third of my heart has been hiding things from us, What would you do?
~William~
~Part: 5~ Well, Shit!
(Willow’s POV)
~March 2300~
Dear Journal,
I can’t believe Angel never told me about Angelus’ reaction
to my turning. The night of Angelus’ return, at the school, I couldn’t
help but wonder why he took me first or at least tried to.
That night his erection rubbed against my ass. I always thought
it was because Buffy was in the hall with us. I know he said that innocence
was a real turn on but I didn’t think he was talking about me.
When Spike first entered my life again I didn’t share my questions about Angelus for fear of angering Spike. When Spike and I found a way to make Angel’s soul permanent I finally asked him the questions I’d always wondered about. We talked all night about Angel verses Angelus. He told me some of his views, but I think he was trying to protect me now that I’ve heard Angel’s journal entry.
I love Spike and Angel. My mate and my sire, the two most important beings in my life have been hiding things from me. I don’t really know what to do.
Spike continues to pace in front of me. I know he’s aroused I can smell it on him, but I don’t know why.
He stalking towards me now, there is a look in his eyes. Spike’s demon is closer to the surface tonight; yellowing eyes is a clear sign of that.
“Spike, are you okay?” I asked.
“So, Luv, do you know why I’m not angry at Peaches tonight?” he asked me pulling me off of the bed and into his arms.
“Not really, although I am curious, why are you not mad at Angel about keeping things from us? Did you know Angelus’ thoughts about me?” I babbled as he kissed me along my neck.
“Pet, I did know some of his thoughts and I’ve told you that.” Spike answered placing a kiss on my cheek.
“So why aren’t you mad?” I asked once again.
“Because no matter how much Angelus wanted you, you are mine. My mate, my bite was on you first. I also can’t blame him because you are the most precious thing on this planet. I love you so much and I have you for eternity because of Angel, so I can’t be mad. And now I sound like a bloody poof.” Spike said looking into my eyes so I could see he was serious.
Sometimes when he talks I just melt I mean really that accent is just yummy. Sometimes though what he says just makes it worse, I just crumble inside.
“Well, Shit. Gotta love a man who knows what he wants. I love you, too Spike. No, you don’t sound like a poof.” I told him pulling him down into a deep kiss.
I don’t remember much about what happened after that but a lot of nakedness. All I keep thinking is…
“Well, Shit!”
~Part: 6~ We're just skipping around
(Willow’s POV)
~March 2300~
Dear Journal,
Well, it’s been about a week since Angel’s reading and some how I still can’t believe the guys have found peace with the revelations Angel laid on us. I don’t know the details of their pow-wow but we’re all better for it.
The next journal entry was Spike’s to read, funny thing was he wanted to skip some of human years for an just us talk. I think that was because Xander has now decided to listen in to our readings. The entry he decided to read was about his first meeting Angelus. Those two have always tried to one up each other since the day they met. Even last night on patrol they decided to see who could kill the most demons. They’ve had centuries to grow up and sometimes they act worse than Xander when they’re together. Hopefully with their new peace that will change in to better behavior.
Right now Spike and Xander are out and I’m sitting across from Angel who is flipping through one of our photo albums and appears to be brooding. I would think the fact that this is the first time in a week that Spike has left us alone he’d be trying to seduce me.
Oh well, ohhhhh, look he spotted Wes and Cordy’s picture. Their wedding was actually on of my favorites, she looked so beautiful. I miss them sometimes more than I miss Giles and Faith. I know that seems weird even to me. I know he misses them too. No matter how many differences Cordy and I had I’ll always respect her for the person she grew to be. Those two figured it out finally and made it work up until the night they were killed fighting a still unknown demon. We could never find the demon or it’s name no matter how hard we tried. It disappeared as soon as Wesley and Cordelia were dead, pissing us all off. Poor Xander he’d finally gotten over his guilt about the fluke when Wes and Cor got married and then they died. Since their deaths he’s refused to make anymore human friends. He’s still pig headed about it after almost three centuries.
Well I guess Angel’s getting bored now, I have to go, he’s unbuttoning his shirt. Damn that man has a fine chest.
Sincerely,
Willow
~Part: 7~ Watching Her...
{Angel’s POV}
I watch her now as she writes in her journal. She keeps looking
up at me and I notice that I’ve turned to the page in the album where Cordelia
and Wesley’s wedding picture lies.
I think Cordy might have know that going after the demon in
her last vision would kill her and Wes, but we’ll never really know. I
do know that she was keeping something from me though and I sometimes wonder
if she’d told me everything they might have lived longer. We never did
find out what that demon was or who sent it even with Rupert and Willow
being as brilliant as they were.
Xander’s still upset that their gone. Spike and I think he misses the chance to make up for the fluke between him and Willow, but Xander would never tell us that.
Spike I think misses his two links to England. Rupert, Wes and Spike would all watch football and drink beer together. I know that having someone who understands where you grew up can be a relief some times. With them both gone now, he seems to hang on Willow more.
Since my last reading we actually talked. Finding out he wasn’t angry with me, it was a relief, but in the week since he rarely leaves her and I alone together. Tonight though, he and Xander decided to take patrol alone for a while.
She’s looking at me again, let’s see if I can get a reaction from her. Unbuttoning my shirt seems to increase the scent of her arousal. Damn do I love watching her watching me.
~Part: 8~ Want to join in?
{Spike’s POV}
I came home with Xander about an hour before dawn and heard the moaning coming from my room. Opening the door I could see my mate and our sire making love. They move slowly together, Willow riding him at a snails pace. I love watching them like this. As Willow rises, Angel trusts up trying to speed up her movements. Oh, I can see it on Angel’s face, they must have been going at it like this for a while, and he is getting frustrated. Suddenly my love’s whole body arcs and she cries out as her orgasm washes over her pulling Angel along with her for the ride.
I come into the room while their resting in the afterglow shutting the door behind me as I move. I drop my coat on the chair hear the bed and remove my shirt as well. They both finally open their eyes and smile at my smile.
“Hello, Luvs.” I say after I move to sit on the bed.
“Hey, Spike. How was patrol?” My Willow asked climbing off of Angel to come closer and kiss me.
“Slow, Pet, very slow.” I told, bending down to remove my boots.
“Were there any complications?” Angel asked me, sitting up.
“Nothing we couldn’t handle.” I explained.
“You coming to bed, Spike?” Willow asks.
“In a bit, Red, I want to shower first. Want to join in?” I ask standing up after I place a kiss on her beautiful lips.
“Sure, Angel want to join in too?” My love asks and I have to smile because this is my family.
~Part: 9~ One Too Many...
{Spike’s POV}
It’s been a year since I lost them. A year since my beautiful mate
became nothing more than dust and memories. I would have joined her that
night had I not promised my Willow I wouldn’t.
I lost them both in one night. Angel’s soul seemed to just vanish and I still don’t know how. Willow and I agreed that we should chain him up and curse him again. The chains broke and during the fight that followed my beautiful Red went sailing through our bedroom window, right out into the day. She burnt to ash, screaming in pain and all I could do is watch. I staked Angelus as soon as she was no more, even he couldn’t believe what he’d done.
You’d be surprised at the reason I didn’t walk out and greet the sun that day and every day there after for the last year. My reason sits across from me now writing his goodbye letter to Anya. Xander, I know I’m shocked too. We’re decided to travel and see what happens.
I once promised Willow and Angel a long time ago if something ever happened to either or both of them that I would take care of Xander. So until he is dust I’ll roam this earth forever missing my sire and my flamed haired Goddess, my Willow.
Forever yours my love,
William
The End