Coming Back to You Series
Author: Nell
Email: nell01@prodigy.net
Rating: g
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There is not real hinting at who the couple is but, who I wrote them as is Willow and Spike. I do not own Complicated. That belongs to Carolyn Dawn Johnson, and who ever else own the rights to it.
DEAD-ication: To Shar for reading this for me a few months back.
 

~Part: 1~  Complicated

HIS P.O.V.

*~*~*~*~*
So scared that the way that I feel
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room
I want to find a hiding place
*~*~*~*~*

Should I tell her? Every time I think about doing it… all the time's I was rejected come flying back at me… I know she'd never do those things to me but I can't help it.

*~*~*~*~*
We used to laugh, we used to hug
The way that old friends do
But now a smile and a touch of your hand
Just makes me come unglued
*~*~*~*~*

She's my friend. How can I tell her this? We're close, closer then close. So close we know each other inside out… well except for this…

*~*~*~*~*
Such a contradiction, should I lie or tell the truth
Is it fact or fiction, oh the way I feel for you
*~*~*~*~*

I can't tell her, I can't lose her friendship, but can I gain her love?

*~*~*~*~*
So complicated...so frustrating
I want to hold you close, I want to push you away
I want to make you go, I want to make you stay
Should I say it...should I tell you how I feel
I want you to know, but then again I don't
It's so complicated
*~*~*~*~*

She's got a date tonight. And all I wanna do is hold her tight, and never let her leave my side… but she's not mine… and were just friends.

*~*~*~*~*
Just when I think I'm under control
I think I finally got a grip
Another friend tells me that
My name is always on your lips
*~*~*~*~*

Everyone's always telling me that all she's always talking about me… but, does she love me? All I do is push her away, and hide behind my masks. So how could she love me?

*~*~*~*~*
You say I'm more than just a friend
You say I must be blind
Well I admit I've seen you watch me
From the corner of your eye
*~*~*~*~*

You say were the best of friends, but I can't handle just being friends anymore. All I wanna do is hold you. Sometimes… I catch you watching me, but is there anything behind it?

*~*~*~*~*
It's so confusing...I wish you'd just confess
But think of what I'd be losing
If your answer wasn't yes
*~*~*~*~*

If I told you and you didn't feel the same way… I'd lose everything, your friendship, and your trust. Everything I've worked so hard to form over the last two years. Can I take that risk?

*~*~*~*~*
So complicated...so frustrating
I want to hold you close, I want to push you away
I want to make you go, I want to make you stay
Should I say it...should I tell you how I feel
I want you to know, but then again I don't
It's so complicated
*~*~*~*~*

If I told her would she leave me? If her answer wasn't yes, would she still be friends. I don't think I could live without her in my life anymore. Or would it be worse… would she laugh in my face? No… she's too good to do that, but still…

*~*~*~*~*
So complicated...oh, I hate it
Cause I've waited so long for someone like you
Oh, what do I do
Should I say it...should I tell you how I feel
Oh, I want you to know, but then again, I don't
So complicated
*~*~*~*~*

I can't tell her, I'd rather love her from afar, than have her know and not feel the same.
 

~Part: 2~ Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know

HER P.O.V.

*~*~*~*~*
My friends say you're so into me
And that you need me desperately
They say you say we're so complete
*~*~*~*~*

Everyone told me he loved me but why didn't he? I even saw it in his eyes a couple of time, but put it down as wishful thinking. Why? Why can't he tell me?

*~*~*~*~*
But I need to hear it straight from you
If you want me to believe it's true
I've been waiting for so long it hurts
I wanna hear you say the words, please
*~*~*~*~*

God I can't take it anymore. I'm so afraid I'll slip up and tell him. I don't know what I'd do if he didn't love me. Mack's trying to talk me into going to La with him for a little while… I don't know yet. I can't take anymore of him loving her. Even though he say's he doesn't… but I can see it in his eyes…

*~*~*~*~*
Don't, don't let me be the last to know
Don't hold back, just let it go
I need to hear you say
You need me all the way
Oh, if you love me so
Don't let me be the last to know
*~*~*~*~*

Oh god. If only he'd say it. I'd never leave his side. Why can't he tell me?

*~*~*~*~*
Your body language says so much
Yeah, I feel it in the way you touch
But til' you say the words it's not enough
C'mon and tell me you're in love, please
*~*~*~*~*

I see it in the way he does little things for me. Like holding my coat for me while I put it on, and opening doors for me… but then again it could be just his gentleman in him showing up.

*~*~*~*~*
C'mon baby, c'mon darling, ooh yeah
C'mon, let me be the one
C'mon now, oh yeah
*~*~*~*~*

I think I'm gonna go with Mack. Maybe it'll be good enough to wake him up. I can't let anybody know I'm going though cause they'll try and talk me out of it…

*~*~*~*~*
I need to hear you say
You love me all the way
And I don't wanna wait another day
I wanna feel the way you feel
Oh, c'mon
*~*~*~*~*

So here I am writing my goodbye letters. I'll be back in a few weeks. But I can't go without letting them know that I'm fine. They'd never forgive me for that.

*~*~*~*~*
Don't, just let me be the one
Don't hold back, just let it go
I need to hear you say
You need me all the way
So...baby, if you love me
Don't let me be the last to know
*~*~*~*~*

Bye, I love you. I whisper in his direction as I slip out of the place I've shared with him as friends for the last year. And as the full moon shines down upon my head a single tears escapes my eyes.
 

~Part: 3~ I Thought She Knew

HIS P.O.V.

*~*~*~*~*
I Thought She Knew
She was my once in a lifetime
Happy ending come true
Oh, I guess I should have told her
But I thought she knew
*~*~*~*~*

I thought she knew. I loved her but she never knew… how could she not know? Everyone else did. Everyone who knew us knew. But how did she not know? I guess I should have told her. Then she would have known.

*~*~*~*~*
She said I took her for granted
It's the last thing I would do
Oh, I'll never understand it
'Cause I thought she knew
*~*~*~*~*

She says we all took her for granted. I'll admit we did. But… No there's no excuse for us doing that to her. We should have respected her more, and we should have known better… But those are we should haves. Just like I should have told her.

*~*~*~*~*
(I thought she knew)
I thought she knew my world
Revolved around her
My love light burned for her alone
But she couldn't see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should've known, I should've known
*~*~*~*~*

I look at the full moon out tonight. She always loved those. I guess it had something to do with her last guy. When he left her like he did. I could have killed him. HE never knew just what a diamond in the rough she was.  She was a one of a kind. But then again… I'm just as bad; cause I never told her just how special she was to me.

*~*~*~*~*
A heart full of words left unspoken
Now that we're through
I tell my soul to have the silence broken
Oh I thought she knew
*~*~*~*~*

All this silence kills me. The others are surviving. But me… I don't think I can. I thought she knew that I was hers and hers alone. But as always I go and screw it up. This time I should have said something though. But my insecurities of all the other times threw themselves at me, and I didn't.

*~*~*~*~*
I thought she knew my world
Revolved around her
My love light burned for her alone
But she couldn't see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should've known, I should've known
*~*~*~*~*

She was so special. She accepted me for me, and not the mask I put on. She saw the facades I put on. She knew that I was hurting even when I said I wasn't. Now that she's gone, out of my life… I have to let her go.
 

*~*~*~*~*
She was my once in a lifetime
Happy ending come true
Whoa I guess I should have told her
But I thought she knew
*~*~*~*~*

She's gone and it's all my fault. I should have said something when I knew… but now its too late.

*~*~*~*~*
I thought she knew
I thought she knew
I thought she knew
I thought that she knew
*~*~*~*

She's moved on left us all. She ran away in the night. Of to get married to some guy that she started hanging around with… She left me in the middle of the night to elope. Why? Why didn't she know? Why could she see me inside out, but she couldn't see my love? I should have told her, but I though she knew…
 

~Part: 4~ What I Really Meant To Say
HER P.O.V.

What I Really Meant to Say

*~*~*~*~*
It took me by surprise
When I saw you standing there
Close enough to touch
Breathing the same air
You asked me how I've been
I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine,
Oh but baby, I was lying
*~*~*~*~*

I walked into the party and there you were. I hadn't seen you in a few weeks. I missed you so much, but you were there with a date. I guess there was never anything between us after all.

*~*~*~*~*
What I really meant to say
Is I'm dying here inside
And I miss you more each day,
There's not a night I haven't cried
And baby here's the truth
I'm still in love with you,
That's what I really meant to say
*~*~*~*~*

God I miss you so much, but I can't tell you. How could I? You never loved me…

*~*~*~*~*
And as you walked away
The echo of my words
Cut just like a knife
Cut so deep it hurt
I held back the tears
Held onto my pride
And watched you go
I wonder if you'll ever know
*~*~*~*~*

After you walked away, I listened to what I had said, and I kicked myself. I should have told you the truth. I should have told you…

*~*~*~*~*
What I really meant to say
Is I'm dying here inside
And I miss more each day
There's not a night I haven't cried
And baby here's the truth
I'm still in love with you
*~*~*~*~*

I said it… now If only I could say it to you. But I can't do that; I'm not strong enough…

*~*~*~*~*
What I really meant to say
is I'm really not that strong
No matter how I try
I'm still holdin' on
And here's the honest truth
I'm still in love with you
*~*~*~*~*

I wish I could hold you one last time, to see that smile that you'd smile just for me… but they were never mine. Just like you never were. Oh god… I miss you so much; I never should have left…

*~*~*~*~*
Yeah, that's what I really meant to say
That's what I really meant to say
That's what I really meant to say.
*~*~*~*~*

That's what I should have said. Not that I was just okay and fine. I should have said the truth…
 

~Part: 5~ Austin
 HER P.O.V.

*~*~*~*~*
She left without leavin' a number
Said she needed to clear her mind
He figured she'd gone back to Austin
'Cause she talked about it all the time
It was almost a year before she called him up
Three rings and an answering machine is what she got
*~*~*~*~*

Oh god. I don't know how I survived this long without seeing him. I haven't even talked to him in almost a year. I really miss him so much. Maybe I should call him…

*~*~*~*~*
If you're callin' 'bout the car I sold it
If this is Tuesday night I'm bowling
If you've got somethin' to sell, you're wastin' your time, I'm not buyin'
If it's anybody else, wait for the tone,
You know what to do
And P.S. if this is Austin, I still love you
*~*~*~*~*

Oh my god…

*~*~*~*~*
The telephone fell to the counter
She heard but she couldn't believe
What kind of man would hang on that long
What kind of love that must be
She waited three days, and then she tried again
She didn't know what she'd say,
But she heard three rings and then
*~*~*~*~*

Oh my god… he still loves me. How can that be? He must have really loved me… I've got to call him back…

*~*~*~*~*
If it's Friday night I'm at the ballgame
And first thing Saturday, if it don't rain
I'm headed out to the lake
And I'll be gone, all weekend long
But I'll call you back when I get home
On Sunday afternoon
And P.S. If this is Austin, I still love you
*~*~*~*~*

555-5444… Please god please let him call me…

*~*~*~*~*
Well, this time she left her number
But not another word
Then she waited by the phone on Sunday evenin'
And this is what he heard
*~*~*~*~*

I've got to tell him. I have to. I love him too much not to know…

*~*~*~*~*
If you're callin' 'bout my heart
It's still yours
I should've listened to it a little more
Then it wouldn't have taken me so long to know where I belong
And by the way, boy, this is no machine you're talkin' to
Can't you tell, this is Austin, and I still love you
*~*~*~*~*

"I love you too." Was all that he said. "I'll see you before sunrise…" She said. "See you soon. Love you." "I love you too. Bye." With that they hung up and she began her way back home.

*~*~*~*~*
I still love you
*~*~*~*~*

~Part: 6~ At Last
 HER P.O.V.

*~*~*~*~*
At last
My love has come along
My lonely days over
And life is like a song
*~*~*~*~*

He's finally mine. I'll be alone no more. I'm never letting him go, I can't believe he actually loves me…

*~*~*~*~*
Oh yeah, yeah
*~*~*~*~*

Two years ago, I gave up my friendship with this man; I gave up my hope, and my home. I moved two hundred miles away from him, and then one year and six months to this day, I call him up and I find out his still loves me… I find out that he loved me.

*~*~*~*~*
At last
The skies above are blue
Well my heart was wrapped up in clovers
The night I looked at you
*~*~*~*~*

The first time I saw him, I fell in love with him right then and there. With his I don't care attitude, and his masks. God it took me so long to chip through the layers covering his heart, but I finally did. And boy was it worth it. It was all worth it…

*~*~*~*~*
I found a dream
That I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill
To press my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known
*~*~*~*~*

I finally get to hold him close, to press his cheek to mine, and know when I wake up in the morning, he'll still be there, that he wasn't an illusion.

*~*~*~*~*
Oh yeah, yeah
*~*~*~*~*

I love him and he loves me and that's all we need. He knows that I'll be there through the thick and thin, that I'll always love him, and I know that he loves me and that he'll be there in the morning…

*~*~*~*~*
You smile
you smile
oh and then the spell was cast
and here we are in heaven
for you are mine at last
*~*~*~*~*

At last… we've found exactly what we've been searching for… each other.

The-End

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