PART ONE

Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play, every night you stay
I'll be watching you

In the Universe we know. . .

Spike crushed out yet another cigarette. He’d been watching Red for over a week now. Something had happened to him that night she’d slapped him in the cemetery. He couldn’t explain it. He really wasn’t sure what he was doing here. He just wanted to be near her. And Willow was different. She was a little more confident. Wiser. A little sadder. And, even though she would deny it, she had fallen in love with his soul. She had even kissed him, trying to pretend that he was William. Spike closed his eyes. No woman had ever fallen for that serious young man. The real him. Not Cecily. Not even Dru. She had fallen in love with the vampire she could make him into.

Willow had shied away from him since she had come back. He’d purposely run into her at The Bronze. Even the Watcher’s shop. But she hardly looked at him now and said even less. But he had seen the momentary flashes of pain in her eyes.

Spike affected the witch, something he had never been able to do the Slayer. It was hard to keep himself from marching up to her room and playing on those newfound weaknesses. He wanted to offer her solace and gather up whatever residual affection she still held for William. Then he would twist it, until it turned into caring for himself. But that wasn’t the way to he would get her. He wanted her. But on his terms.

Spike had slowly begun to get over his Buffy obsession. Though, he was still a little fixated on killing her. It was what he had come to Sunnydale to do last year. That and claim The Gem of Amara. He had gotten neither of those wishes. Though his unhealthy attachment to the Slayer was waning, a deeper attraction to the young witch was forming. Spike had learned long ago that he was a slave to his passions.

There had to be some way to get her to come to him. Willow didn’t seek him out like the Slayer had. She had no reason to. Willow needed no information about demon activity. Had no favors to ask of him. She didn’t even want to beat him up. More’s the pity. At least that would provide some bodily contact with her. He sighed unnecessarily and lit another cigarette.

The other witch wasn’t there with her tonight. Did the blond girl even know that her lover spent her nights staring at the stars? Spike would give a decade or two of his unlife to know what she thinking about. He propelled himself to the front door of her dorm, unable to resist her hold on him any longer. It was time to make the first move in this drama he seemed destined to play with her.

A knock sounded on the door. Startled, Willow approached the door warily. She wasn’t expecting any visitors and the girls on her dorm floor were less than friendly. “Who’s there?”

“Spike.”

Willow winced. She had no desire to see him. Every time she looked at him, she thought about William. That smile that made her stomach do flip-flops. The gentle way he had held her in his arms. And his mouth. Yes, the emptiness was still there. Shaking herself from her disturbing thoughts, she opened the door. “What do you need?"

“Need? What makes you think I need something?

“Spike, you only come to me for a purpose. A spell. To kill me. So, what is it this time?” Willow knew that she was being rude, but she couldn’t help it. She hoped that he would go away soon. Before she did something silly like kissing him again. Or curse him.

Willow knew that she possessed the ability to give Spike back his soul. She could have William back so easily. She had the all the necessary tools and herbs for the spell in her cedar chest at home. The knowledge kept her up at nights. She searched the heavens, seeking some sort of an answer from the powers that be. She was even hoping that the oracle would pop in again and give her a heads up on the situation. But nothing happened. And Willow knew deep down it would be wrong to do it anyway.

Spike was chipped, he wasn’t going to hurt anyone and it was obvious from her earlier conversation with him about William the blond vampire despised his soul. And even if she did curse him, he wouldn’t be mentally stable for many years anyway. Angel had wandered around the world in a state of despair. By the time he was her William she would be a very old woman. Not to mention what it would do to Tara.

Willow had been unable to tell Tara all that happened in the other universe. She wasn’t sure when would be the right time. Or if it would ever be the right time. And Tara knew something was wrong though she’d been patient, knowing Willow would tell her when she was ready. The guilt was eating Willow alive.

“Uh, pet? You alright?’ Spike interrupted her thoughts. He had been lying to her for a full five minutes and she hadn’t heard a blasted word.

He called her ‘pet’. She took in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, Spike. I was thinking about something. . .some homework assignment. Why don’t you come in and you can tell me what you were saying?” She stepped away from the doorway. Willow made it a habit to use the uninvite spell every time Spike had just gotten access to her home. It just made her feel better. After the whole Angelus debacle and the near-fatal dorm room incident with Spike she decided that no vamps would be allowed an all-access pass to her place.

“I was just saying that you caught me.”

“Caught you?”

“Yes. I need something from you, pet. A spell. “

”Oh.” She relaxed. A spell, she could it quickly and then he could be on his merry way. Then, she tensed up again. “I’m not going to make Buffy fall in love with you against her will.”

“No. I don’t want to make the bloody slayer fall in love with me. I need. . . a de-love spell. Or an un-love spell, whatever you want to call it. Make me fall out of love with her.” It was the perfect solution. He had a reason to see her and she would help him completely rid himself of the blasted slayer.

Willow’s shoulders sagged. Those spells were intricate and very time consuming. Willow had once attempted a de-lust spell on Xander and herself which could be accomplished in minutes. But de-love spells were a great deal more complicated. Spike would be integral to the process. He had to be an active participant in all aspects of the spell: getting the necessary tools, chanting the words, and even giving an offering to several deities. They would need to perform the ritual several times, each time tweaking it a little to get the improved spell which would ultimately work.

She was about to flatly refuse. There was no way she could take so much time with Spike. But when she thought about the vampire following the Slayer around, wallowing in his unrequited love for her, perhaps even becoming more dangerous. He had tied up both Buffy and Drusilla and threatened to kill both of them. Willow didn’t want to be around to see what new depths he would go to, to prove his love for Buffy. “Alright, I’ll do it. But you need to involved in this process. Tara and I can’t just-“

”Tara isn’t going to be involved.” Spike said.

“Of course she is. She’s a powerful witch as well as being my girlfriend. If we include her in, we’ll get this done much faster.”

This wouldn’t do at all. He needed some time alone with Red. He swallowed his pride for the upteenth time since he’d been chipped. “This is a delicate matter, pet. I’m embarrassed by my feelings. The Big Bad still in love with the Slayer after she humiliated me that way. ” He shook his head.

Willow’s expression softened. She had experienced unrequited love before. She remembered the flickers of pain she felt every time Xander talked about a new girl. She recalled the embarrassment of Buffy knowing about her feelings for her male best friend. Watching her watch him from a distance. “Tara would never tell.” She said gently.

Spike’s eyes beseeched hers as he whispered. “Please, pet?”

William. A little piece of him still survived inside the ruthless blond vampire. It was all over for Willow. “Alright. I’ll get some supplies and we’ll start tomorrow night. And Spike?”

“Yes, pet?” He tried to keep his happiness from showing on his face as he turned to go.

“Don’t ever call me ‘pet’ again.”

Oh, can't you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake, every claim you stake
I'll be watching you

And in the other Universe. . .

“Why are you watching me?” Willow asked.

“Because you’re very interesting.” William said as he laid down on the bed next to her.

“I am?” She said with a small, pleased smile. He nodded, continuing to watch her with avid blue eyes. William was a complex man, er, vampire. He was intense in his interest in her but not in the ‘scary stalker’ way that Spike had pursued the Buffy.

“Incredibly.” He said. “What are you doing?”

“Filling out my college application. In my dimension, I-“

”This is your dimension now.” He reminded her. He desperately wanted Willow to be comfortable here. With him.

“I know that.” She said and squeezed his hand before she continued. “Oz managed to do some major hacking for me this week. I even got my social security number back. So, I’m going to college. I’m also going to help Buffy get her GED. I’m trying to talk her into attending college with me.”

“You’re a good friend to her, pet.” William said. He was still leery of the new slayer. The girl still seemed lost. She’d lost a bit of confidence when it came to slaying. Recently, she’d started to train with the Watcher again. When she wasn’t doing that, she was with her mother. Or Angel. His sire.

“I try.” Willow had been, it seemed that she was the only one that Buffy was completely comfortable with. It wasn’t easy for the Slayer, adjusting to her new old life in Sunnydale. Angel was being held in one of the guest bedrooms. They had chained him up so that he couldn’t escape and hurt someone. Buffy had been very tender with her former love. She had brought him blood from the butcher’s shop and softly stroked his brow while he slept. Angel was steadily returning to sanity. Amy had confided in Willow that she was trying to do a spell that would make Angel’s and William’s souls permanent. Willow had eagerly agreed to assist her. If William’s soul was here forever, that meant that they could be together. Right now, their relationship was friendly though it was far from a friendship. She sensed that William was uncomfortable about her knowledge of his alter ego -- Spike. So far, they had not spoken about it, unwilling to let anything ruin her happy homecoming.

Willow still continued to stay with him. Her parents had long since moved from Sunnydale. They now called Seattle home. Willow wasn’t sure if she should see them again. How would she explain her death to them? As painful as it was to admit, they hadn’t been involved her life much anyway. Did they even miss her? She sometimes thought that her parents had her because it was expected of them. She was just one of their accessories: big house, nice car, dutiful daughter. She still wasn’t sure what she should do about them.

“We’d better be going, pet. We’re expected at the Watcher’s apartment.” William said, breaking into her thoughts.
 

FROM DAWN TO DUSK

The whole gang was meeting at Giles to discuss some new threat in Sunnydale. It seemed like there was always something nasty coming to make trouble on the Hellmouth.

Faith and Xander were on the sofa, holding hands. They had managed to patch things up. According to Xander, they’d been on a date already.

Willow smiled at her best friend as she took a seat beside him. William sat down beside her. Oz walked in, carrying his laptop under his arm. He sat down across from them. “I started my application today.” She said.

He was currently attending the campus, his major was music. “If you ever need a tour guide, I’d be happy to show you around. . .but you already know what campus is like cause you went there before. Keep forgetting.” Oz looked chagrined.

“That’s alright. I’d still appreciate a refresher course. Maybe some things are different at this university.” Willow hadn’t found it awkward seeing Oz again. They had parted on good terms and she was glad to have him back in her life in some capacity, even if it wasn’t a romantic one. She had wisely kept the truth of their relationship in her universe to herself for the moment.

“Just let me know when would be a good time.” Oz said.

“Do you play with the Dingoes?”

“Yeah. We have a gig this weekend at The Bronze. Are you going to be there?”

“I’d love to come!” She hadn’t heard Oz play in such a long time. Admittedly, she had gone at first because she was his girlfriend but she had soon realized what a talented musician he was.

“Will you guys be playing that one song? Uh. . .can’t remember the name of it. Had the big drum part in it and it was about this girl who-“

William tuned their conversation out as he frowned at the two of them. Willow seemed completely at ease with the werewolf. A little too at ease. She had said that she was involved with someone in her universe. Was it Oz?

At that moment, the door burst open and a young blond girl stood in the doorway breathlessly. Willow stood up. “Dawn!” She rushed over and hugged the young girl. “What did you do to your hair? How did you get here?”

The girl squirmed out of her embrace. “I walked, Willow. My hair has always been this color. And my name is Dusk. Remember? You met me last time you were here. I'm Faith’s little sister.”
 

PART TWO

Though I've tried before to tell her
Of the feelings I have for her in my heart
Every time that I come near her
I just lose my nerve as I've done from the start

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

“What are we looking for again, Red?” Spike asked as the perused the shelves of Giles’ shop.

“Orris Root.” She said with exasperation. They were getting the necessary ingredients for the spell. Willow felt bad for “borrowing” these ingredients from Giles but rationalized it as pay for all of her help. His was the best stocked magick shop in Sunnydale, none of the others would have all the herbs that were needed. “Make sure you get lavender too.”

“Lavender? For what?”

“Because it smells nice.” Willow flushed. “We’re going to be burning a lot of stinky roots and herbs. The spell’s author suggested putting something in to counteract the stench.”

Spike smiled at her, resisting the urge to smooth her heated cheek. They had spent a lot of time together in the past few days. They’d gathered up tools from her parents house, reference book from Giles house ,on the sly of course, because the Watcher still hated him.

They stood together behind the desk, she had offered to work the afternoon shift while the rest of the gang went to Buffy’s home. The Slayer was in a weakened state from the loss of her mother. Dawn was like a little girl lost. She barely said a word. The Scoobies were cooking a meal, hoping to offer the two girls their comfort and love. She was going over after her shift ended. They were determined that Buffy would not be left alone.

Spike reached above her head to pull down a bottle. He deliberately brushed her shoulder as he did so. Willow tensed, she was acutely aware of his every movement. He looked down at her, his expression tender yet predatory.

“Willow I-“ he broke off. What could he say? I need you? I love you? He could only imagine the horror that would register on her face. Why would she get involved with a demon? “I think I found it.”

Willow turned back to the supplies, flustered by her reaction to Spike. Dammit. This was getting harder and harder. She shut her eyes and repeated her new mantra. This is Spike. Not William. Spike. Killed two slayers. Tried to kill my best friend. Tried to kill me. He’s an evil soulless demon. Goddess. Why couldn’t he be uglier? Or less charming even?

Later that evening, as they sat in Spike’s crypt, Willow poured a circle of salt around the vampire. He closed his eyes and picked up the ornate bowl filled with fruit and flowers, his offering to Venus. Spike cleared his throat and spoke the words Willow had rehearsed with him. “Goddess of Love, I beseech thee to free me from this intolerable attraction. Give me your support and your blessing in my hour of need.” Spike tried to appear serious, but he felt like a bloody poof. Holdin’ a bleeding fruit basket for some girly deity to take a bite. He desperately wanted to be completely free of the Slayer’s influence but this offended his demonic sensibilities.

A swirling vortex of pink light appeared above him and a beautiful woman materialized inside the circle. Venus. Willow’s mouth fell open, she’d never summoned a deity before, usually one of the goddess’ priestesses would appear to accept the offering. Venus lifted the bowl from Spike’s hands and looked him over. “A vampire.”

“Yes, your ah. . . majesty. Here’s the problem, I’ve fallen in love with-“

The deity smiled impishly as her glance strayed to the wide-eyed Willow. “I know exactly who you’ve fallen for. “ If Spike could’ve blushed, he would have. “You are a most unusual vampire. I’ve never met one who loves.” She paused, considering. “Against my better judgement, I shall give you my blessing. It should be interesting.” She dematerialized, leaving a trail of red smoke and the pungent scent of roses. His offering had been accepted.

“That went well.” Spike said, still mystified by the encounter. He’d expected something harsher, he thought he might have to sweet talk her into helping him. Spike was very good at convincing women, even a goddess.

“Very well.” Willow grinned at him. “You actually summoned a deity!” She clapped her hands together. “Wow!” Willow always got a charge out of magick. Sure, it was draining sometimes but the things that she was witness to. . .simply amazing.

Her mood was infectious. Spike was proud of his achievement, it had meant nothing to him, but it did to her. That made it important. He held out his arms to her and Willow hugged him, caught up in the moment.

Spike stared sightlessly at the ceiling of his crypt as he held her. She was here in his arms. Hugging him. Not his soul. Hugging Spike, the demon. He pulled her even closer to his body. “Willow.” He sighed.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and turned her face upwards. Spike pressed his reverent mouth to hers. It was electric. They pulled back to gaze in wonder at eachother. Willow’s mouth opened to speak. 

Though I've tried before to tell her
Of the feelings I have for her in my heart
Every time that I come near her
I just lose my nerve as I've done from the start

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

“We can’t do this!” Willow cried.

“Do what?” William asked, regarding her carefully. They were sitting on his couch and he was rubbing her feet. “What am I doing?”

“Touching. And that leads to rubbing. And rubbing leads to. . .well, you know what rubbing leads too.”

“Willow, I know you’re afraid I’ll lose my soul-“

”Terrified is the correct word. I’ve seen it before. Believe me, Spike was called the ‘Big Bad’ for a reason. He killed two Slayers and he-“

”Alright.” William released her feet. It hurt him whenever she broached the subject of Spike. He felt guilt for things he had never done, it was obvious that his otherworldly demon half had terrified her. He got up to go to the shower, his second cold shower of the day.

Willow chewed her lip thoughtfully. How had Buffy tolerated this?

Ben smiled at the young blond woman over his medical chart. “Is there anything else I should do, doctor?”

“No, Miss Summers. We’re just going to keep your mother here overnight for observation. We didn’t find anything with the CAT scan we did but we’d also like to do a PET scan on her tomorrow morning before she goes home. It is more sensitive, we’ll get to the bottom of her headaches in no time.”

“Thank you.” Buffy said, watching him walk out the door. She squeezed her mom’s hand. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call Giles? He could help you with the forms or-“

”No, Buffy, I’m fine. Now that you’re here, I’m just fine.” Her mother smiled weakly.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” Willow cried, even to her own ears it sounded unconvincing. William’s cool, hard body covered hers, as he pressed kisses to the base of her throat. She lay completely open to him, staggered by her response. She’d never felt like this before. Not Tara or even Oz had brought her this much pleasure. Nothing had prepared her for the intense need she had to be with him.

It wasn’t just a physical need. It hit her on all levels. Being apart from him even for a short time was agony. She wanted to never be separated from him. If there was a way to crawl inside his body and stay there she would have done it. He pressed his feverish mouth to hers and silenced her half-hearted protests as he spread her legs apart.

Willow should have known better. History has a an awful way of repeating itself. As she joined her body with that of her soul mate’s, Willow couldn’t help but notice the lightning streak the sky. But she was too far gone to protest, too in love to forego this meeting of hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. . .
 

next

back