***
Willow sighed, stretching her arms high above her head. "Goddess, it's good to be getting out of here!" she said, looking around the bland hospital room in which she had spent the last several days. Her nose wrinkled with distaste as her arms dropped back to her sides.
"I'm definitely understanding," Buffy replied, shuddering dramatically at the thought of spending time trapped within the confines of a hospital room. Old and recent experiences alike had left her with little fondness for hospitals.
"I just wish that Xander was ready to leave, too..." Willow said, her eyes dimming as she mentioned her best friend's name. Her arms wrapped around her waist and she glared at the floor miserably. "He's not really angry with me... much... anymore, but I still..."
Buffy looked up from the small duffel bag she was stuffing Willow's belongings into, her eyes sympathetic. "But you still can't help feeling as guilty as anything, right?"
Willow nodded, her lower lip trembling slightly.
Buffy climbed over the bed, dropping down next to Willow. Her arm wrapped around the other girl's shoulder, hugging her in reassurance. "It's okay, Will," Buffy murmured reassuringly, her hand gently running through Willow's hair.
"No it isn't, Buffy!" Willow exclaimed, shaking her head vehemently. "You wouldn't understand..." she ended softly.
The Slayer's eyebrows arched in disbelief. "_I_ wouldn't understand?" she repeated. "Willow... is your memory on the fritz or something? Lets see... Angelus, Jenny, the death of your fish, Giles getting tortured, Angel and soul sent to Hell, me running away... Believe me, I an the _queen_ of bad decisions and hurtful actions."
"You didn't nearly kill all of us," Willow replied stubbornly, determined not to let go of her guilt.
"I think Angelus and lack of the slayage on my part came pretty close to exactly that," Buffy insisted. She sighed heavily, grasping Willow's pale hand. "I admit that everyone was kinda upset at the entire near death experience thing -- but we do understand, Willow. Even Cordelia... although knowing how stubborn she can be, it may take a while before she figures that out herself. I think she's so worked up because you shocked her into realizing how crazy she is about Xander."
Willow sniffled dejectedly. "Yeah, I'd think the near murder of her boyfriend would come as a shock--"
"God, Willow!" Buffy laughed despite herself, shaking her head sorrowfully. "If you keep this up, you'll give Angel a run for the money in the brooding department." She rose to her knees, shifting on the bed until she was face to face with the redhead's pinched face. "Lets put it this way: Are you sorry?"
"Yes!" Willow gasped.
"Are you planning on sucking out our life energy again?"
The witch's face blanched even further. "_No_!"
"Would you be feeling any better if you had left Spike a pile of dust?"
Tears sprang to Willow's eyes as she shook her head mutely.
"There we go!"
"That's it?"
"What more do you want, Wills? That's why I'm not bitching at you right now. That's why the others have or will forgive you. You threw us all for a loop, but you're still the same Willow we know and love."
"I... You're a damned good friend, Buffy."
The Slayer grinned. "The bestest."
...~*~...
Considering that Willow had nearly killed herself and her friends to pull the dust particles that were Spike back together, it was pretty obvious that what she felt for the bleached blond vampire could safely be said to be beyond simple friendship. That was why Willow found herself fidgeting, her eyes firmly averted from Spike's features as they sat in the library two days after she had been released from the hospital. She hadn't seen the vampire since she had first awakened in the park... and although she hadn't been up to facing him while recovering, the lack of his presence at her side had frightened her immensely. She had no idea what Spike thought of her now painfully evident feelings for him.
"Are you feeling well, Willow?" Giles inquired, watching her carefully. He looked as if he expected her to snap at any moment. That, or collapse to the floor in a faint.
Had he asked her, Willow would only have been able to say that all she felt like doing was climbing into bed, Spike at her side -- 'naughty girl!' her mind quickly interjected -- and snuggle under the covers. It didn't look as if any of the above were in her immediate future. If Willow knew her Giles-expressions, which she did, she was in for a serious lecture regarding magic usage. Part of her agreed wholeheartedly that after her stunt in the park she quite obviously did require a good talking to. The other sliver of her mind which was more than fed up with dealing with the consequences of what she had done contemplated faking a collapse so as to escape the lecture.
The witch jumped when Giles cleared her throat, and Willow realized that she had been blankly staring at her clasped hands for several long moments. "Well? Uh, yeah... in that guilty, kinda queasy and headachy way."
"Willow--" Giles began, edging out of concern mode and into chiding father figure mode.
"I know!" Willow cut in. Her hand blindly stretched out for Spike's. Giles had requested both of their presences, for which Willow was immensely grateful. Despite her embarrassment, having Spike at her side still served to center her. He was a living reminder as to why her actions were worth everything. "Magic is dangerous, and stealing people's life energy is downright nasty and I deserve to be thoroughly chastised. And I promise never, ever to do anything so reckless again... and... and... I'll even give up magic forever if that's what it takes to get people to trust me again."
"Indeed," Giles blinked. He shook his head slightly, a small smile unwillingly curling at his mouth. "I'll spare you the lecture--"
"You will? But that's your lecture face!"
"However, I do have a few questions for you," Giles said, speaking over Willow's startled exclamation. "Willow, you shouldn't have been able to save Spike. You shouldn't even have been able to touch the others' life forces, much less draw upon them."
"I shouldn't?"
Giles shook his head gravely.
"I don't know how... it just happened -- the idea, the power, all of it." Spike's thumb softly rubbed patterns against the soft flesh of her hand. "Is this... whatever it is, bad?" Willow whispered uneasily.
"I don't know, Willow. But I have a feeling that we'll be finding that out soon enough."
~end~