Willow rolled onto her stomach as the door opened, chin propped in her cupped hands. She took in Buffy's rumpled clothes, mussed hair and smeared lipstick and quickly bit into her lower lip to keep her mouth from twisting in tandem with her emotions. "Buffy?"
The Slayer scowled, shrugging off her jacket. "I don't want to talk about it."
"_Come on_, Buffy!"
The blonde's eyebrows lowered, her lips tightening. "I wish," she muttered.
"Buffy?" Willow asked, wide eyed. "You don't mean...?"
Buffy flung herself back onto her own bed. "He's what... 127 years old?"
Willow nodded. "Something like that, yeah."
"Hmph," Buffy grunted sourly. "I guess... I mean _127_! That's plenty of experience, isn't it?"
'How to put this delicately?' "So you're saying... ah... it was lacking in sparkage?"
"We're mortal enemies, Will. There was plenty of heat, just... not of the right kind." A toned arm was draped dejectedly across Buffy's eyes. "He, um, nuzzled at my neck and I kind of punched him. Instinct, you know?"
Willow's mouth rounded into a tiny 'o'. "That's not _too_ bad. Right?"
Buffy coughed. "He vamped out and tried to hit me."
Willow's mouth rounded into a bigger 'o'.
"And then the chip spoke up. He started yowling and cursing and God, it was so pitiful, Wills. We sat at the edge of the bed, and he's moaning into his hands while I pat at his shoulder."
"And then?"
"And then his head stopped hurting and he remembered he was horny as hell."
"So you did?"
"Well... maybe, I guess. Not really. I mean... it was just really, _really_ awkward. 'Cause you know, I just couldn't trust him anywhere, uh, sensitive and half the time he looked like he wanted to kill me."
"I guess that would kind of ruin the mood."
Buffy snorted. "Uh huh. One more lesson in why Buffy and vampires don't work."
"So, what now?"
"I told him that the next time he felt like getting laid, I was sure you'd be willing to lend a hand."
Willow blinked.
"I was _joking_, Willow!"
Willow blinked again. "Oh! Right! Joking!"
"Willow?"
"Yeah, okay. Gee, thanks, Buffy!"
"That's better."
"Good night, Buffy."
"And I really was joking, Wills."
"_Good night_, Buffy."
"Night."
~end~