Author: Poppy.

Email: Slayerkitty@yahoo.com

Rating: R for blood, violence, implied sex, and character deaths.

Summary: Spike escapes from the Initiative, and a heart gets broken...

Disclaimer: I'm not Joss, therefore I do not own anything except the plot. Also, I do not own the song lyrics. They belong to the awesome band, Nickelback.

Spoilers: Season 4.

Feedback: Ooh, I'd love it! Pweese?

Distribution: My site, Make Me Bad. Just ask, and you shall recieve.

Dedication: To everyone who agrees that Willow/Spike is much, *MUCH* better than icky-yucky Buffy/Spike.  ;)
 
 

 HEART WORTH BREAKING
 
 

 He ran. As fast as he could. He wasn't scared. Not him. He was a Master vampire, killer of thousands. Nothing scared him.

 He remembered being shocked by a taser, and waking up in a cell, its walls much too bright for his eyes. He had growled when he saw the woman in the lab coat leaning over him, a pair of surgical tweezers in her hand. He felt the small burning in his head, and grabbed the woman's arm in a crushing grip. He tore the tweezers from her grasp, seeing what resembled a computer chip held between the two pieces of metal. He growled, still gripping her wrist. He had crushed the bones easily, listening to her scream, a smile on his face.

 "What is this?!" He snarled at her, reading her nametag, which said 'Walsh'.

 "An implant." Walsh gasped as she slid against the wall, clutching her wounded arm, terrified. "How...? You were still supposed to be unconsious..."

 Spike stood up, and strode over her prone form. He kicked her in the ribs, nodding in satisfaction when he heard the ribs crack. "What is it for?!"

 Walsh groaned, and spit up blood. "I-It..." She trailed off, wheezing for breath.

 Spike snarled, and picked her up by the hair. He flung her against the wall. "What is it for, you damn bitch?!" He repeated, advancing on her again.

 The woman whimpered, and tried to move away from him, scooting backwards on the floor. "It prevents...hostiles from f-feeding..." She shivered, terrified and going into shock from her injuries.

 Spike's eyes flashed. "And you were going to put it in me?" He tisked as he picked the pathetic woman up by her throat. "That's not very nice." He smiled at her. "You realize you have to die, don't you?"

 "No! Please...Plea-" Spike cut off her begging pleas by twisting her neck brutally. He looked towards the glass barrier, and grinned. He had a way out. He threw the body of Walsh through the glass, shattering it. Alarms sounded, and shouts were heard down the corridor, but it was too late.

 That was how he escaped. And now he was running. Running through the Sunnydale night, as fast as he could. He ran towards the reason he came back to Sunnydale.

 And he stopped outside her dorm.

        Never made it as a wise man
       I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
      Tired of living like a blind man
      I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
 

  She was crying. Over everything. He had left her. He told her he loved her, but he left her. Before he left, he told her that it wasn't good enough after Veruca. *She* wasn't good enough. He needing something else. Something different. Something that wasn't her. He had taken away his words of love, and broke her heart. When he left, he took her will to live with him.

  Actually, Buffy had done that.

     And this is how you remind me
    This is how you remind me
    Of what I really am
    This is how you remind me
    Of what I really am

 He stood outside the dorm, gazing up into her window. He had spent so many hours outside her window, thinking about her, wishing he was up there with her. He wanted her. He wanted her more than he could ever remember wanting anything in his whole entire exsistance. He wanted her. He loved her. And he was determined to get her.

    It's not like you to say sorry
   I was waiting on a different story
  This time I'm mistaken
  for handing you a heart worth breaking

 She at least expected her friends to understand. After two years with him, they had been through so much. They dealt with his werewolf issue together. They survived the Xander incident, and they survived battling demons. Hell, they survived the end of the world together. She at least expected her friends to understand why it hurt so bad.

 They didn't.

  And I've been wrong, i've been down,
  to the bottom of every bottle
  these five words in my head
 scream "are we having fun yet?"

In fact, they didn't even seem to care. Xander had merely patted her shoulder, and said "It's okay, Wills." almost lamely, because he knew it wasn't. Anya had merely rolled her eyes when Willow walked into Giles's house in tears. Giles didn't even notice Willow was upset. Willow wasn't surprised.

 The biggest disappointment was Buffy. Considering how much Buffy had cried and grieved over the loss of Angel, Willow expected the Slayer to understand better than everyone. She thought back to what Buffy had said a few hours earlier.  She had been laying on her bed, moping, when Buffy entered and sighed in exasperation. "Are you still pouting? God, it's been two weeks. Get over it."

 Willow gaped. "How can you say that? You were upset for months after Angel."

 Buffy shook her head. "That was a completely different situation, Willow. Angel loved me, and I loved Angel."

 "You don't think Oz loved me?" Willow whispered, tears prickling in her eyes.

 Buffy shrugged. "Sorry if it hurts you, Will, but I don't think he did."

"How can you say that?!" Willow exclaimed.

 Buffy stared at her friend, and sat down on the edge of the grieving redhead's bed. "Willow, listen to me. I *know* Oz didn't love you."

 "What?" Willow asked, stunned. "How?"

Buffy groaned in exasperation. "Because he told me, Willow! And I think you should know he asked me out, and more than once."

Willow shook her head. "No. That can't be." She whispered. "He loved me..."

Buffy stood up, and walked over her closet. "It's the truth, Willow. He was messing around with a lot of girls when you weren't around."

"Like who?" Willow asked softly, tears of betrayal in her eyes.

"Well, I know he was messing around with Harmony, for one. He fooled around with Aurora too. He made a couple of passes at Cordelia, but she rejected him." Buffy replied, trying to find a suitable outfit to wear for her date.

 Willow felt her heart break even more. "H-How do you know?" She managed to ask, through her sobs.

 Buffy looked over at her. "Willow, the whole school knew. Me, Xander, Cordelia, and everyone else. Everyone knew."

 Willow turned red with embarassment and shame. Everyone knew. Except for her. She felt so stupid. She was such a fool...

Buffy slipped on the jean jacket over her short mini-dress. She fluffed her hair in the mirror, and moved to the door.

"Buffy?" Willow asked softly, needing to know. "Did you and Oz ever...?"

Buffy immediately looked away from the redhead.

Willow sobbed, and tears ran down her face. "Oh, God! How could you?!"

"It's done with, Willow!" Buffy exclaimed harshly. "Quit being such a baby, and get over it! You can be so damn pathetic sometimes!" The Slayer took a breath. "Look. I have a date with Riley now. I'll talk to you later. The Slayer left without another word.

 Willow kept replaying the scene over and over in her head. All her friends had known all along. They betrayed her. Xander knew. But Buffy...she had done the worst thing of all. Willow broke down into huge, body-wracking sobs when she realized she truly was alone.

    It's not like you didn't know that
   I said I love you and I swear I still do
  And it must have been so bad
  Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

Spike stiffened, and worry entered his eyes when he could hear crying come from his sweet Willow's room. He immediately entered the dorm, forgetting all about the Initiative, and the Slayer. Dealing with them would have to wait.

His Willow needed him.

  And this is how, you remind me
 Of what I really am
 This is how, you remind me
 Of what I really am

Willow heard the soft knock on her door, and answered listlessly. "Come in." Her eyes widened as she saw the handsome bleached blonde enter. The same vampire she had secretly had a slight crush on. She blushed slightly, remembering. He smirked at her. "Hello, Cutie." The blonde watched as Willow's eyes widened with terror. He moved closer to her, and stopped, stunned, when he saw the fear in her eyes flicker out, and dull acceptance entered her brilliant emerald eyes. She looked up at him, seemingly resigned to her fate.

  It's not like you to say sorry
  I was waiting on a different story
  This time I'm mistaken
  for handing you a heart worth breaking

Spike stared at the redhead, his own eyes filling with anger. His sweet innocent Red was broken. She had no fear of death. She was waiting for him to kill her, and end her suffering. His demon roared with rage. What had that damn wolf done to his beautiful Princess?! She was waiting to die, her eyes full of pain and despair. He moved towards her, sadness in his eyes. "Willow, luv. What happened?"

Willow looked at him in confusion. He was giving her an almost sympathetic look. Willow shrugged. "Why do you care?"

Spike sat on the bed next to her, hoping she could see his feelings in his eyes. "What happened, pet?" He repeated softly.

Willow looked at him, eyes bright with pain. "Oz left me. After I found him with a girl, Veruca. She was a wolf too, like him." She tooked a shaky breath. "He told me I wasn't enough anymore. I wasn't good enough. He needed something new. Something that wasn't me. I found out from Buffy earlier that Oz was with other girls the whole time he was with me. The whole school knew. Xander, Buffy, Cordelia, everyone." Willow laughed bitterly. "Well, everyone except for me of course. Buffy told me she and Oz...she and Oz..." Willow couldn't bring herself to finish the sentance. "I-It explains why h-he never pressured me for...you know..."

"Oh, pet. I'm so sorry." Spike said softly, sincerely meaning it. Not that the wolf was gone, but that Willow was in so much pain.

Willow sniffled. "Yeah, no one else was. Either they didn't notice or they told me to get over it." She shook her head. "Some friends. I  thought they cared about me. They only care about me when they need my help, other than that..." She trailed off, and tears spilled down her cheeks. "I can't believe I was so stupid!"

Spike moved a hand to gently caress the girl's flaming red tresses. She stiffened at his touch, but soon relaxed. "Why were you stupid, luv?" He asked softly.

"For thinking they cared about me." She whispered. "I really thought...I really thought that maybe, finally, someone would. They're no different than my parents. They never cared about me, I was an inconvience in their life. They chose their careers over me. I thought that maybe Buffy, Xander, and Giles were different. I thought they would accept me. Why would they?" Willow laughed bitterly, and the laughter gradually turned over to sobs.

    And I've been wrong, i've been down,
    to the bottom of every bottle
    these five words in my head
    scream "are we having fun yet?"

Spike pulled the sobbing girl into his arms. "Oh, pet..." He murmured sadly against her hair. How could she think no one loved her? How could she think she wasn't worthy enough to care for? Didn't she see how wonderful she was? How wonderful *he* thought she was, how much he loved her? Her "friends" were the ones who weren't worthy of her. They didn't love her. Not like he did. He rocked her gently as she cried. "Shh, sweetheart. Don't cry. They don't deserve you. You're much too good for them..."

Willow sniffled, and pulled away. She couldn't believe she started blubbering like a baby, in the arms of an enemy, no less. She looked up into his beautiful blue eyes. "Are you going to kill me now?" Willow whispered.

"Why would you want me to?" Spike asked.

Willow smiled bitterly. "Why not? The world would be better off. I'm just a waste of space."

"Why would you say that?" Spike stared at the redhead incrediously.

"Because my parents don't care about me. My friends don't care about me. I'd be better off dead." Willow said listlessly, her eyes empty.

Spike looked down at the emotionally broken creature in his arms. "God, luv. Don't believe that. Please don't believe that."

The redhead glanced up at him at the vehemence she heard in his voice. "What? Why not? No one loves me."

Spike cupped Willow's pretty face in his hands. "Damn it, pet. *I* love you." He told her softly.

    Never made it as a wise man
  I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
  And this is how you remind me
  This is how you remind me
  This is how you remind me
  Of what i really am
  This is how you remind me
  Of what i really am

Willow gaped up at him. Did he say...? Did he say what she thought he did? A tiny glimmer of hope entered her eyes. The vampire who haunted her dreams...did he really...could he possibly?

 "What did you say?" Willow breathed.

 Spike's eyes softened as he looked at her. "I love you, Willow." He told her. "You have no idea how long I've loved you, how long I've wanted you..."

 Willow stared at him in wonderment, reaching up and caressing his cheek. Spike closed his eyes at the feel of her touch. Then she said the words that surprised him, and herself. "I love you too, Spike." She paused, and realized she meant the words. She truly loved the vampire. Everything made more sense now. Her dreams about him, her oh-so-secret fantasies about him. Her crush on him. She had been blind. It hadn't been a crush...it had been love. She smiled, and her eyes were reanimated with life. "I love you, Spike." She said again in a whisper. As soon as the words left her mouth, Spike kissed her passionately, claiming her lips with his own.

  It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking

She had never known need like this. She clutched at him desperately as he kissed her hungrily. He pulled back, and looked at her, his eyes dark with want. He breathed in his Willow's sweet scent of innocence and purity. She shuddered against him. She needed him.

 "Let me make love to you." He pleaded as he rained kisses along her neck.

 Willow whimpered. "Please, Spike. Oh, please..."

 The vampire needed no more encouragement as he laid his love on her bed, and proceeded to show her how much he loved her.

  And I've been wrong, i've been down,
  to the bottom of every bottle
  these five words in my head
 scream "are we having fun yet?"

 Spike held the form of his lover close to him as she slept against him. He brushed his fingers through her soft hair. His Willow. She was truly his. He had taken her viriginity, and claimed her with his bite. But he was hers. He would always be hers. She had stolen his heart long ago. She stirred against him and nipped at his lips. Spike snarled, as he kissed her deeply. She pulled away, and giggled at his eyes, yellow with arousal. She playfully growled at him. Spike smiled at her. "Sleep well, baby?" He asked his mate.

 "Mmm..." She murmured against him, laying her head against his shoulder. "Like the dead."

 Spike chuckled, and purred as Willow kissed his neck. She looked up at him. "Thank you, my love."

  Spike took her hand, and raised it to his lips. "Anything for my Princess."

 Willow bit his earlobe, making him growl, and almost swerve the DeSoto he was driving off the road. "Baby, I'm trying to drive!" He told her, his lips quirking into an amused grin.

Willow slunk back into her seat, and pouted, as Spike crashed into the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign. After a few minutes of silence, she finally spoke. "Lover?"

"Yeah?" Spike replied.

"When we come back, can I drive?" She asked sweetly.

 Spike glanced over at her. "Why?"

Willow laughed, and her eyes flashed yellow. "Because next time, *I* want to run over the sign."

Spike laughed aloud. "Sure, baby. Whatever you want."

 The DeSoto sped off into the night, leaving Sunnydale behind...for a while, at least.

  these five words in my head
  scream "are we having fun yet?"
  yet, yet
  are we having fun yet
  are we having fun yet
  are we having fun yet
 

 THE END.

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