As she stirred within the darkness a shape took form and somehow she knew
that this shape was the center of the darkness, its creator and cause.

The form slowly became clearer taking on a familiar human shape; she stared
trying to eliminate the dark fog obscuring her view.

'Who was it..?' the person for she was sure it was a person now seemed
familiar, someone she knew perhaps or had known in another life or previous
existence.

But no matter how hard she tried the only things she could make out of the
mysterious form was the basics; it was male, tall and fair but somehow dark
all in the same breath.

'No not breath...this creature doesn't breath..?' how strange where did that
thought come from she wondered searching the dark landscape for some form of
self.

She became disturbed when she realized there was none, she didn't know her
name or where she was from, and only had a vague sense of what those things
were.

She turned her attention back to the dark yet light presence the center of
this strange realm only to find it gone.

Now she was truly alone and her scream rang out in the silent blackness that
was no longer so comforting.
 

Willow sat bolt upright in bed, the familiar sounds of New York echoing
dimly around her apartment.

That dream again.

She ran a shaky hand though her sweat dampened hair, it was the third time
she had it in as many nights she had dreamt it and she didn't know what to
make of it.

She glanced nervously around her room then shook herself, the real reason
the dream disturbed her so much was because it made her feel helpless,
something she hadn't felt in a very long time.

She got out of bed and headed toward the bathroom, it was defiantly time for
a long hot shower.

To wash away the sweat, along with the cold clammy feeling of long
suppressed memories, of a little town halfway across the country that was
best left where it belonged.

Well buried in the past.
 

part 1.
"Hey Willow" a voice called across campus.

Willow glanced up and smiled seeing her best friend Julie race up to her,
they were both in they're third year at one of the numerous huge colleges
situated in New York city.

"Hi Jules what's up?" Willow asked as her friend came to a breathless halt
beside her.

"You'll never believe what happened!" Julie said excitably.

"What?" Willow asked feeling a smile curl her lips; there was nothing Julie
liked more than gossip.

"You know Cleon Ritiz that kind of geeky guy taking chem, you always see him
reading a book or something in the cafeteria?"

"Yeah" Willow said vaguely recognizing the description.

"Well apparently he was at the Crypt last night and his changed his look,
sorta like.., you know like one of our crowd, and when Damian asked him when
he became cool he said he always had being and was just regressing."

"Really" Willow raised her eyebrows skeptically; thinking of the shy well
kept young man that frequented one of her computer courses.

"Yeah I'm totally serious, hey there's the crowd now, go ask someone that
was there yourself if you don't believe me."

Julie and Willow headed over to over to there group of friends what
outsiders referred to as the tough/in crowd.

It was really a group of people who had an interest in things like
witchcraft, or goth clubs who drew together and formed a crazy almost
punkish group.

As they approached various greetings were called out and a gap was made in
the circle for the two girls.

The morning's topic was all focused on one thing Cleon's amazing
metamorphous.

Just then someone in the group caught sight of the topic of their
conversation and called out a greeting, others turned and urged him to come
and join them.

Willow turned searching for the familiar figure and then she felt her eyes
widening and had to make a conscious effort to keep her jaw from dropping,
she had heard of people changing there style but this was had to be an all
time record.

Gone was the shy awkward individual and in his place was a hansom
good-looking guy in fashionable jeans casual tee and a leather jacket.

"Wow" Willow commented to Julie.

"I'll say" she agreed getting that familiar look in her eye.

Julie has chosen another victim Willow thought glancing at Cleon to find him
watching her, he flashed her a smile.

Willow smiled back uneasily then looked away, she most defiantly did not
want to get in the way of one of Julie's conquests, no way.

Just then the first bell sounded and everyone drifted off to their first
classes for the day, Willows first class just happened to be that computer
course; the same one Cleon was in.

Sure enough Cleon fell into step beside her.

"So Willow you don't mind if I walk to class with you?" he asked a trace of
his old uncertainty in his voice.

"No not at all." Willow said smiling at him.

And that was about as odd as things ever got these days or a least it was
until her dreams had started.
 

Part 2:
One Month Later:
Willow threw the sweeter in the bag with unnecessary violence, it was
mid-break and she had made her decision.

Or rather she had being forced into her decision.

Willow scowled around the apartment trying to find something else she would
need, she was going back to Sunnydale.

After four years, four long years of trying to forget and have a normal
life.

She would have liked to think that her reasons for leaving Sunnydale were
heroically tragic, like in some perfect fantasy, hell she'd settle for them
been reasonable at the moment.

But the truth was her reasons weren't heroic and noble, they were no more
than a scared girl running, a scared girl, pushed beyond her limit of
endurance.

The memories began to crowd, showing exactly what had prompted her
departure; Willow struggled against them knowing it was a losing battle.

Ever since the dreams had begun to creep into her waking as well as sleeping
world, her defenses against such things as unwanted memories had crumbled
into almost non-existence.
 

4 years earlier post Graduation one week later:
Willow ran from the Bronze in tears, how could he do this to her after
everything they'd been through together, especially recently with the mayor
and The Ascension and there....

Willows thoughts trailed off at the coming memory, one she'd held close to
her heart, and her mind wailed. 'I thought we had something special'

"He was my first.." She whispered into the still night.

And then to see him with...with that girl words failed to describe.

Willow had gone to the Bronze planning to surprise Oz, he hadn't thought she
would be there that night but Willow had gotten a lucky break when Giles had
unexpectedly given her the night off.

But when she had gotten there instead of having a night of pleasant fun with
her boyfriend, she had found him wrapped around some stupid groupie or
something and Willow had fled the Bronze in tears.

As she trudged despondently along waves of despair crashing over her, she
briefly thought of going to her friends for comfort.

Then she remembered that Buffy was 'playing the field' tonight, ever since
Angel had left she had settled into an endless stream of meaningless flings
in an effort to dull the pain of losing Angel.

Then her thoughts turned briefly to Xander, her oldest and dearest friend,
before she remembered he was away with family, then maybe....WHO her mind
screamed at her.

You are so pathetic she abruptly thought in disgust, you only have two
people to turn to TWO!

It was then that she caved.

The next day Willow was on the plane to New York and college and made
herself a promise she would never look back, not ever and she would never be
alone again.
 

Now:
She had run away because her boyfriend cheated on her.

Willow gave a snort of disgust, and now she couldn't even keep her word
about never going back!

Maybe she should just try to forget and go home with Julie like she always
did.

Willow felt ice trickle down her spine at the thought and again saw the new
part to her dream.....

Blackness darkness all around her and no one no one!

She was alone again, how did she let this happen.

Then abruptly she was moving.

It felt almost like she was in a car, and then she was.

It was night and it was raining.

Light!

Ahead there was a sign, what did it say Willow peered though the driving
rain.
She couldn't quite read it....Wel..It was covered in some sort of dark
substance.

RED.

The impression flew at her; the substance was red and dripping.

Are there, she made out the words, 'Welcome to Sunnydale.'

Sunnydale what was she doing back there?

Something, she'd forgotten something, why was the sign so hard to read...it
had something on it something.red the sign, the sign was covered in blood.
 

She had to go back Willows lips thinned she glanced at the plane ticket in
her hands and sighed it was time to call a taxi.
 

Part 3:
Sunnydale CA 9:30pm

Willow stood outside the familiar wooden doors for the first time in years
and took a deep breath, she could here muffled voices beyond so she new they
were in there all that remained was to step inside.

She pushed open the doors with a crash and strode into the room surveying
the people within.

Everything going on within the room ground to a halt and heads swiveled
towards the door.

Willow saw shock cross the faces of her old friends; everyone except Spike
seemed surprised....wait a minute Spike?

She thought in confusion almost doing a double take, that is until her eyes
came to rest on the reason she had left Sunnydale in the first place.

Oz.

The familiar feeling of ice surrounded her heart, she felt her lips twist
into a sneer as she surveyed her ex boyfriend.

'Turn him into something nasty!' her inner evil voice urged

'No don't he might have a good reason, besides your not here to play the
evil witch!' said the old familiar good girl voice that Willow had listened
to less and less over the past few years, but this time it did have a point.

Willow returned her gaze to Giles, Buffy and Xander, who all still looked to
stunned to speak, looks like I'll have to start the ball rolling.

"Buffy, Xander, Giles" she said coolly.

"I know you all probably don't want me back here but I've being having
dreams, and I had to come and see what's happening and what I can to help."
Willow said and then waited for a response.

"Willow..?" Buffy whispered "Oh my God where have you being!" Willow
suddenly found herself being nearly bowled over as the slayer engulfed her
in a huge hug.

"I missed you so much." Buffy sobbed.

"Buffy hey, hey I missed you to" Willow said awkwardly not quite knowing
what to do, this had not being the reaction she had been expecting.

"Wills!" Xander suddenly crashed into them both and wrapped his arms around
them.

After Buffy and Xander had stopped squeezing her to death, Willow found
herself seated at the table and everyone staring at her.

Willows eyes passed from face to face.

Buffy looked happy, Xander looked shocked and relived, Giles looked
bewildered and dazed, and Spike looked....

'Hang on there's that Spike thing again'

'Let's jump him! Just look at that hunk of manly yumminess' her evil self
said gleefully.

'No! His a bad evil vampire and there will be no jumping of any kind!' her
good self said clearly mortified.

Willow ignored them both and asked the question plaguing her thoughts.

"Um what's Spike doing here?" Willow asked staring at the smirking vampire.

'Not that we mind or anything...' her evil self couldn't seem to resist
adding.

"Oh that!" Buffy bubbled "well he kind of helps us now we used blackmail,
but who cares! What about you, where have you been, why did you leave.."

"And what are you wearing?" Oz rudely cut in.

Willow glanced down at her outfit.

It was mostly black, black tank top, with a stylized silver pentagram, black
leather pants and black doc martins, the only splash of color was an
oversized blue silk shirt that one of her old boyfriends had given her since
she liked it so much.

"What about it?" she said glaring at Oz angrily.

"My Willow would never wear that so you obviously can't be her." He said.

Willow stared at him in disbelief who did this....this jerk think he was,
not Willow jeez next he'll be accusing me of being my alter ego, Vampire
Willow she thought in disgust.

"What are you talking about!" she all but snarled.

"Your Willow? I'm not your Willow and I'll never be again!" Willow ended it
in what was almost a shout her eyes blazing in rage.

Everyone's eyes were riveted to the stare down taking place between Oz and
there newly returned friend.

"I refuse to tell anyone anything while his here." Willow said flatly
staring at her ex-boyfriend in disgust.

"Um. well then it seems that it would be best then if you left then Oz."
Giles said to the werewolf.

"But.." Oz said looking at the watcher in obvious shock.

"No, we will inform you of the situation tomorrow." Oz slowly got up under
the weight of the room's stares and left, shooting glares at Willow.

After he had gone there was a long silence before Giles quietly spoke, "Now
Willow would you mind telling us what that was about."

"Its obvious you dumb git." Spike spoke for the first time and Willow felt a
shiver go down her spine at his voice. "The fleabag is probably the reason
Red left in the first place."

"Spike! I don't appreciate your name calling, nor could you have any idea
why Willow left."

"No Giles he is right." Willow said looking down again as all eyes came to
rest on her, she took a deep breath. "Oz is the reason I left."

"She looked up her eyes sad and angry, "I know it was stupid, not to mention
selfish but when I found Oz with some other girl..It was just the last straw
you know."

"Oz cheated on you." Buffy stated quietly.

Willow nodded her head, "I never meant to come back, and I know it wasn't
fair on you guys, just to leave you a note saying I was going to college and
not to look for me." Willow glanced up and took a deep breath to continue.

"I just wanted a completely fresh start, no old ties, I came back because I
think you need my help." There was silence as everyone digested this.

"We can talk about this tomorrow for now Willow you can come back and stay
with me." Buffy said.

"Where are your things?"

"Out in the hall." Willow admitted.

"We'll meet here tomorrow morning and you can tell Giles about your dreams."
Everyone was nodding in agreement and Willow let the slayer lead her out of
the library and back home.

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