And Wackiness Ensues...
AUTHOR: Red Raven (willow_the_vampire_slayer@hotmail.com)
SHIPPERS: Willow/Spike, Cordelia/Angel
OTHERS: Xander/Anya, Wesley/Faith, Gunn/Dawn, Buffy/Giles, Lorne/Tara, Fred/David Nabbit
SPOILERS: "Doublemeat Palace", "Provider"
SUMMARY: Cordelia's cousin C.J. has a prophecy about Connor and (you guessed it) wackiness ensues.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em, just wish I did.  'Cept C.J., she's mine and you can't have her.
DISTRIBUTION: http://wsca.cjb.net - anyone else: want, take, have but tell me where it goes.
FEEDBACK: Need I beg?  Feedback makes my writing English good.
NOTES: This is in response to Terra's challenge and I changed a few words to the prophecy (I hope you don't mind, Terra.)
 
 

~Part: 1~

She wrinkled her nose at the translation in front of her, rubbing her eyes.
The transcribers had been working on the translations for months...but she
had solved them in a night.  It wasn't that hard, just a matter of
time...well, that and a lot of caffeine, a WHOLE lot of caffeine.  Needless
to say, her transcription had ruffled a lot of the pompous Watchers'
feathers...especially since they had around twenty years apiece of
experience translating and she hadn't even been ALIVE for twenty years.

She grimaced as her thoughts trailed off of the prophecy before her and
tucked a strand of dark hair behind an ear.  She took a deep breath and
reread it again.  *So the Warrior's already been born?* she mused.  *He's
not even a month old yet and he's got an enemies list long enough to wrap
around the world twice.*

Her eyes scanned the prophecy and glared at Quindon Travers who was looking
over her shoulder.  "You have it then, Christiana?" he asked.  Several heads
popped up and turned their gazes to her.

"Yes...now if you'd stop breathing down my neck I'd read it for you," she
scowled.

"Oh...right," he answered, giving the teenager space.

The brunette stood up and cleared her throat.  "'Fire and Ice must merge
with the Darkness and the Light. In love and purity, with all and each do
they become the Sacred Square.  The Warrior protects the World, the Square
protects the Warrior, the Slayer protects the Square, the Watcher protects
the Slayer, the Teacher protects the Watcher, the Locks and Keys protect the
Watcher, the Guardian protects All.  These are the Chosen, their Destiny is
set, the Warrior has arrived, now is the time to Protect.'"

Quindon nodded.  "Very good, Christiana," he stated before turning to the
Watchers congregated around the table.

"C.J.," she corrected, sitting back down and looking back over the prophecy.
  *Yep, that's what it says...now damn it, who ARE these people?* she
wondered.  *I guess the Slayer would be the infamous Buffy Summers.  What
kind of name is "Buffy" anyway, it sounds like a dog's name.  "Buffy, here
girl...c'mon, grab the bone..."*

"According to the prophecy, the Warrior was born about a month ago in Los
Angeles, California in the United States to two...vampires.  We're not quite
certain whom the vampires are though..."

A murmuring went through the group of Watchers.  *This is bad,* C.J.
thought.  "But we need one of our own to make certain that this prophecy is
completed, my belief is that the Darkness is most likely the father, the
Light is most likely to be a benevolent demon.  I have no idea about the
Locks or the Keys.  Although, we can be certain that the Slayer is Buffy
Summers...or Faith Spencer," Quindon answered.  "Rupert Giles has come back
to England, he is most likely to be the Watcher, perhaps we may persuade him
to go to Sunnydale to attempt to find the rest of the persons involved in
this prophecy.  Wesley Wyndam-Pryce doesn't work for us any longer...does
anyone have a suggestion on whom we should send to Los Angeles?"

Suddenly, C.J. felt fifty pairs of eyes on her, she looked up and around
her.  "Me?" she squeaked.  "But I'm only seventeen!  I'm not ready for a big
assignment like this!"

"Yes...but your cousin is...Cordelia Chase who works for a detective agency,
doesn't she?" a Watcher answered.  "She could find out about the Warrior."

"But...but..." she trailed off as the eyes stayed fixed on her intently.
She let out a sigh of defeat.  "Guess it's back to the good ol' U.S.A."
C.J. had lived in Sunnydale, California until 1997, when her parents decided
to move to London so her father could work with the Watchers Council.  But
she'd spent every summer with her cousin until 1999, when her aunt and uncle
lost their fortune to the I.R.S. and Cordelia'd moved to L.A. to become an
actress.  Cordelia was like her sister and C.J. would be glad to see her
again but she wasn't sure if she was ready for the world to depend on her...
 

~Part: 2~

"Hey there, little man, have a nice nap?" Cordelia murmured to Connor who
gurgled happily.  "I'll take that as a yes."  She picked him up and wrinkled
her nose.  "You're a little ripe, aren't you?  Wes, your turn for diaper
duty!"

Wesley groaned as he entered the nursery and took the baby from the seer.
"I can't wait until he's toilet trained," he grumbled good-naturedly.

Cordelia gave him a little smile before sashaying from the nursery and
downstairs.  Angel sat at his desk, sipping his mug of blood.  "Hey, Angel,"
she said.

"Hey, Cordy," he answered.  "How's Connor?"

"Just woke up and Wesley's changing his diaper," Cordelia answered.

Angel nearly spat out his blood.  "I'll go see if Wesley needs any help," he
responded, almost running to the nursery and Cordelia snickered as she
settled at her desk and looked over her paperwork.

~~~

C.J. thanked all of the deities she could think of when she arrived safely
at the Hyperion Hotel, she REALLY hated planes and the Council wouldn't let
her take a ship.  Planes were so...high, she shuddered as she got out of the
bus.  C.J. took a deep breath and entered the building carefully.  Her eyes
immediately fell onto her cousin, looking over a desk.  She didn't look any
different than when C.J. had seen her last except for Cordelia's hair being
shorter.  But she seemed...different.  She shrugged it off and smirked.

"Oh, my God..." C.J. teased.  "Is it the Apocalypse?  'Cause I never thought
I'd live to see the day where Cordelia Chase did paperwork..."

Cordelia looked up and squealed.  "Chrissy!" she cried, jumping up and
enveloping her cousin in a bear hug which she received back from her.

"You look great, Delia," the girl answered.

"So do you...you've grown," Cordelia replied.

C.J. quirked a brow.  "It HAS been three years, y'know.  I'm seventeen," she
stated.  "And you're twenty-one.  How was your birthday anyway?"

"It was...different," Cordelia answered vaguely.

"So you have fun?" C.J. asked.

"You can say that, so what brings you to L.A., thought you were a
London-girl nowadays," Cordelia teased.

"I am...but it was your birthday and I haven't seen you in so long so I
decided to hang out in L.A. for a while.  And I figured I'd deliver your
present in person," C.J. smirked.

"What'd you get me?" she asked.
"You just got me," C.J. stated.

"Oh...can I get a return?" Cordelia asked.

C.J. stuck her tongue out at her.  "No, seriously," she said, taking a
little box from her duffel bag.  "Here."

Cordelia opened the box carefully.  "It's beautiful," Cordelia whispered
with awe.  In the box was a crystal on a platinum chain, Cordelia
immediately put it on.

"It's a protection crystal, you know how my dad's into hocus pocus," C.J.
stated.  "It'll glow whenever someone you're close to is in danger and it'll
keep the baddies away.  Also, if there's someone powerful nearby it glows."

"Thank you, Chrissy," Cordy said, hugging her.

"Cordelia...did you - who are you?" Angel asked as he entered the lobby.

"Oh right, Chrissy, this is Angel...Angel, this is my cousin Christiana,"
Cordelia introduced her.

"C.J.," the girl grimaced, her attention was drawn back to Angel.  There was
something...off about him too.  She smirked as she realized the obvious
chemistry between the two.  "Are you two...dating?"

"No!" Angel cried.

"Angel...doesn't date," Cordelia said.

"Oh...oh!" C.J. replied, her eyes widening as she looked at Angel.  "You're
gay.  That explains everything: the clothes, the hair and the name."

Cordelia laughed at the look on Angel's face.  "I'm not gay..." Angel said.
"Lately."  At the younger girl's confusion.  "I used to have a boyfriend but
we broke up."

Cordelia stared at Angel.  "Wha...?" she asked.

"Spike," Angel answered.

"Ooh, you had a boyfriend named Spike...kinky," C.J. said with awe.

"Spike...and you..." Cordelia answered.  "Never, ever, ever tell me."

"You can tell me anything," C.J. said.  "I want ALL the details."  Cordelia
arched a brow at her cousin.

"What?  I'm a teenager," she defended.  Angel smirked.

"Maybe I'll tell you some other time, kiddo," he stated, then Connor let out
a cry.  "But right now I've got to check on my son."

C.J.'s eyes turned to Cordelia.  "No.  He is NOT mine," Cordelia stated
before she even asked.  "His mom died when she had him."

"What was her name?" C.J. asked off-handedly.

"Darla," Cordelia answered.  Then it clicked.  Angel, Spike, Darla.  C.J.
stared in the direction that Angel took.

"Can I see him?  I've always been good with kids," she said.  Cordelia
quirked a brow before leading C.J. to Connor's room.  When she entered the
little nursery, C.J. looked at the necklace Cordelia wore, it was glowing.

She stared at Angel.  "You're...Angelus, aren't you?" she asked.  "A
vampire...and Darla...she's his mother."  Her eyes fixed on the baby and she
didn't see Angel move until she was pinned against the wall, his hand on her
throat.

"Who sent you?" he demanded and C.J. pried his hand off her throat, taking
in deep gulps of air.

"The Watchers Council, you jerk!" C.J. snapped.  "They found a prophecy.
And I'm delivery girl."

"The Nyazian Prophecies?" the other man in the room asked.

"No...this is a different prophecy."  She glared at Angel.  "And if some
vampires didn't go slamming kids against the walls, I could tell you."  She
glared at Angel and stepped a few feet away from him.  She paused and
stepped a few more feet away from him until there was a huge gap between the
two.

"Okay, the Watchers Council received several ancient prophecies from a nest
of vampires.  They were written in coded Babylonian and the only way to
translate them was to translate from Babylonian to Sumerian, to Egyptian, to
ancient Greek, to Latin, the entire prophecy bounced about and every
syllable or so you had to translate it into a different language or it was
impossible gibberish..."

Angel looked poised to kill her and C.J. scowled at him, Wesley looked
intrigued.  "Did anyone tell you that you have serious anger management
problems?" she asked as she stepped a few more feet away from Angel.
"Anyway...um, from those languages I finally translated the prophecy..." she
dug into one of the pockets of her jeans and pulled out a piece of paper,
she handed the paper to Wesley and he looked over it.

"Fascinating..." Wesley stated.

"What?" Angel demanded.

"'Fire and Ice must merge with the Darkness and the Light. In love and
purity, with all and each do they become the Sacred Square.  The Warrior
protects the World, the Square protects the Warrior, the Slayer protects the
Square, the Watcher protects the Slayer, the Teacher protects the Watcher,
the Locks and Keys protect the Watcher, the Guardian protects All.  These
are the Chosen, their Destiny is set, the Warrior has arrived, now is the
time to Protect,'" Wesley read.

"Well, Travers figured that the Darkness was the baby's father...so Papa
Bear, that would be you," C.J. said, she gulped slightly and backed a few
more feet away from Angel.  "The Light is most likely a benevolent demon or
possibly the baby's mother but since she's kinda dead...deader than she was,
anyway, that's kinda impossible.  So do you guys, uh, know of any benevolent
demons?"

Cordelia stared at C.J.  "I'm a demon...sure, no horns or tail but I'm a
demon and I work for the PTB," Cordelia answered.

C.J. looked at Cordelia like a deer caught in headlights.  "Uh Delia, is
this a genetic thing?" she squeaked.

"No, no," Cordelia answered and C.J. let out a relieved breath.  "I got
demonized."

"Oh, okay...so we have the Darkness and the Light and of course, the
Warrior," C.J. said, looking at the baby.  "Any ideas for anyone else?
'Cause if we don't get them together..."

"What?  What'll happen if we don't get them together?" Angel growled.

"You promise you won't hurt me?" C.J. asked nervously, twisting a strand of
her dark hair around a finger.

"No," Angel stated.

C.J. rose an air of courage around herself and crossed her arms across her
chest.  "You know what...I've never really met vampires before.  I had this
hope that they were hot, pale blonde, gray-eyed, six-foot eunuchs with
heartbeats and skin that was above room temperature.  And, of course, they
were sometime rock stars that re-awakened six-thousand year old vampiresses
with their music.  Damnit, where's Lestat when you need him?  He'd be a lot
easier to work with...so would the Talamasca.  But I see that my outlook's
been Ricenized...and that's not a word but you get the point," she stated,
glaring at Angel.

"I've been compared to Ricean vampires," Angel stated defensively.  Angel
left out a sigh.  "I won't hurt you."

"If we don't get them together...the baby will die," C.J. replied softly.

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