E-mail: Rhiannon19000@aol.com
Feedback: Please?
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Willow/Spike
Spoilers: Season 4 in general.
Summary: Willow's heartbroken.
Notes: Just assume that Tara isn't an issue here.
Disclaimer: Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the properties of Mutant Enemy, Inc. and 20th Century Fox Television. No copyright infringement is intended in any way by this fanfiction.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I *knew* it.
I've figured for weeks now that this pursuit of me was just a game to him. It was only something to keep him occupied. I knew he really didn't want me, not the way I wanted him.
Now I know what, or who, he does want.
Buffy.
It's not really too much of surprise. He alternately threatens or flirts with her all of the time, and the looks he gives her....
I won't cry. I won't. Resolve Face.
I pull the sheets away - *his* sheets - stand up, gather my clothes, and start getting dressed. How could I have been so stupid as to sleep with him? I told myself it wouldn't matter, that it was just sex. I was lonely. He was around and had been hitting on me for a while. Now though, it hurts to know I still can be so damned naive. I could have been *anyone* last night, although he probably got a perverse thrill out of getting Buffy's best friend into bed in place of the real thing.
The bed shifts slightly under my weight as I put on my shoes. I can tell it woke him up, because I can feel him moving around and then sit up.
"Red? Not sticking around for round three, then?"
I stand up and look right at him. Deep, even breaths and don't cry. "No, I'm not. And there isn't going to be a round three, or anything else. *Ever*. Why bother with me at all when you really want Buffy? Did you know that you talk in your sleep, Spike?" He just stares at me sliently as I head towards the door. "I won't be part of whatever game it is you're trying to play and I'm not a substitute, either."
The door slips shut behind me, and I start walking my way home. The sun's shining, birds are singing, but I feel nothing but shame, regret, and emptiness.
How could I supposedly be so smart and be such a fool?
End