E-mail: Rhiannon19000@aol.com
Feedback: Please?
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Willow/Spike
Spoilers: Up through, say, "The I in Team".
Summary: Just a semi - dark little fanfic.
Notes: / / indicates Willow quotes, // // indicates Spike quotes, if that isn't obvious.
Disclaimer: Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the properties of Mutant Enemy, Inc. and 20th Century Fox Television. No copyright infringement is intended in any way by this fanfiction.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Willow pauses at the crypt door, wondering if it's still not too late to go. She's been here twice now, and each time she's told herself to just turn around and leave *right now*. Easy, right? Just turn your back, take a few steps foward, start walking and leave.
Each time she's gone in anyway. Pushing herself ever closer to the point of no return, to the point where she breaks completely and there's really nothing left of Willow.
She doesn't *want* to be here. She hates it, in fact; hates herself for being so weak. Hates him for not saying no when she first approached him.
/"Spike, um - you know how you said you'd bite me if you could? Would you? I don't think the chip would go off if I'm not afraid or your'e not really intending to hurt me."/
Hates that he's as gentle as a lover when he feeds, an arm wrapped loosely around her stomach holding her to him; hates that his touch doesn't repulse her. It should, he is a demon. Vampire. Evil.
//"I'll give you a choice. Now, I'm gonna kill you - no choice in that. But...I can let you stay dead. Or... bring you back, to be like me."//
Hates that somewhere along the way when she was growing up, she started needing pain to feel anything else.
/'It's nothing, Xan. A glass broke while I was doing the dishes and I cut myself.on it"/
Hates that Oz left her - just like that - and brought it all crashing back just when she thought she was finally...healthy.
/"Oz, don't you love me?"/
Hates that she has secrets from her best friends; hates that she has to lie. Hates that she had to do spells to cover up the bite marks.
/"And it harm none, my will be done. So mote it be."/
She goes in, because she needs the pain. But this will be the last time because in the end she also wants more than that; needs more than that.
End