Willow had fallen into a morose silence by the time they had reached the front lawn of her house. Buffy stole a worried glance at Riley and felt the
gentle touch of his hand as he placed it against the small of her back.

The redhead turned and reached for Spike's hand, "You don't have to go, do you?"

"No, luv," he answered.

The pressure of Riley's hand on the slayer's back increased slightly as he spoke, "Buffy's mother is expecting us."

"Uh, yeah," Buffy agreed, quickly taking his lead. "For dinner."

"Dinner?" Willow asked, raising her arm to look at her watch.

"Late dinner," Buffy hastily added. "Mom likes the idea of me seeing a man who eats. So, we should probably get going, if you'll be okay."

"I'll be fine," Willow gave her a smile that would have been far more reassuring if it hadn't faded almost before it appeared.

The slayer hesitated for a moment until Spike put his arm around Willow's shoulders. Buffy nodded and slipped her hand into Riley's as they
turned to walk away. *** "Do you believe in spontaneous combustion?"

"Huh?" a puzzled frown formed on Willow's brow as she turned to face Spike, who had come up behind her.

He put his hands on her shoulders and squeezed them gently, "You're going to explode if you don't let it out, pet."

She smiled softly and stepped into him, resting her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Harder than you thought it would be?" he asked.

"Much," she nodded. "I can't go back there, Spike. I just can't. It'll kill me."

"Then don't."

She pulled away to look up at him, "But he needs--"

"HE needs," he took her face in his hands. "Who gives a damn what he needs? Leaving Sunnyhell was about what he needed. Choosing to stay
out of contact was about what he needed. Coming back was about what he needed. Now that he's here, screw him. This is about what YOU
need."

"I loved him, Spike."

The past tense of the word rang in the vampire's ears and brought the flicker of a smile to his lips.

"He left because he felt he had to, and in spite of all of the pain he put me through, I don't want him to hurt, any more than he wanted me to," she
squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed away her tears. "I can't believe I'm back to all of this. I thought--"

"Did you hear yourself, luv?" he asked, and she opened her eyes to look into his. "You said 'loved.' You loved him."

"Did I? I didn't notice. So much has changed since he went away. I've changed. But I still care about him. I still love him."

Spike searched her face for any glimmer of warmth and, finding none, added, "But not the way you did."

"No," she agreed. "I don't think I realized how much of myself I'd invested in Oz. Whenever I looked at him, I saw my future. I dreamed of how it
would be--us married, settling into a place that was just ours. But after he left, those dreams faded into the struggle of just getting through each
day. I can't get back to that place. I don't want to."

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I want--"

"What, Willow? Tell me," he insisted.

His eyes captured hers and refused to let go as she pondered the question.

"I want--" she stopped once more as the truth stomped its way into her conscious mind, demanding recognition.

Willow raised one hand to the back of the blonde vampire's head and drew his mouth to hers in a hard, deep kiss. Spike crushed her to him and
ravaged her mouth with his tongue, leaving her breathless with the force of his unspoken response. When he pulled away, she lowered her head
to his shoulder and hugged him tightly.

"I'd like to rip his head off," Spike answered, his voice low and calm. "Unfortunately, that's no longer an option."

"I wouldn't want you to, even if you could."

"Like that would make any difference," he told her. "Doesn't matter, anyway. As much as I'd like to, I can't."

She sighed softly, "I don't want to talk about him anymore. I want to not think about him for the rest of the night."

"Good plan," he agreed and kissed her head. "You do know I'm not leaving here tonight."

He could feel her lips curling into a smile against his shoulder as she answered, "I know."

"And I'm bloody well not sleeping on the sofa," he added.

"I know," she repeated.

"Good," he nodded and swept her up into his arms and headed for the stairs.

He entered her bedroom and shoved the door closed with his foot before carrying her to the bed.

"I may not be able to tear out the sod's heart," Spike thought to himself as he shed his duster and tugged off his shoes. "But I sure as hell can
make him wish that I could."

Willow, unaware of the vampire's dark thoughts, reached for him as he discarded his clothing and joined her on the bed. He tore open her shirt
and lowered himself over her, seeking the pleasures of her warm body.

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