"Please tell me this is a sick, twisted, demented joke," Buffy groaned.

"Buffy," Giles bit back a smile and looked over at her. "You know I
wouldn't ask this if it weren't absolutely necessary. You must talk to
Spike. We need his help."

"I know. I know. The thought of admitting that to his face turns me
inside out, though," she said.

"Then talk to Willow. I'm sure she can persuade Spike to help us."

"I'm sure," the slayer replied dryly. "All right. I'll talk to Willow."
***
"Nice place," Buffy said as she looked around the living room. "Who did
Spike have to chew on to get it?"

Willow grinned and sat down, "I really can't believe you're here. I
never thought you'd set foot in this house."

"I didn't either," Buffy admitted. "Giles made me."

"Why?"

"Because we have to deal with a demon who's supposed to arrive in
Sunnydale in a week's time."

"What's this one get his kicks from? Fear, hatred, jealousy?" Willow
asked.

"To quote Giles, one of the seven deadly sins--lust," Buffy said. "Also
known as sexual energy."

Willow's eyes flew open, "What!?!"

"I know," Buffy nodded. "You should have seen Giles trying to explain
it to me."

The redhead burst out laughing, "Oh, goddess, he must have been
mortified!"

Buffy grinned, "Right out of his proper British mind. Anyway, this
demon is actually pretty horrible. He captures people and enslaves
them. The first and last mention of him was 160 years ago in a little
town in the north of England. He killed most of the population before
he was defeated and sent back to hell."

"How?" Willow asked.

"We don't know. There's no mention of it in any of the texts, which
isn't too surprising, considering who got rid of him," the slayer
explained.

"Who was it?"

"A vampire," Buffy said. "Who went by the name of Spike."

Willow's jaw dropped open, "Spike! Are you sure?"

"She's sure," Spike answered from the doorway.

Buffy looked at him uneasily as he entered the room and sat down beside
Willow.

"So, your watcher sent you crawling over here to ask for my help,"
Spike said.

"Believe me, I'm as thrilled about it as you are," she snapped.

"And I should agree because...."

"Because you know what he did to that town. You don't want the same
thing happening here, do you?" she asked.

The vampire shrugged, "It might be entertaining to watch the residents
of Sunnyhell shag themselves into their graves. It could be your chance
to get some, too. At long last."

The slayer stood up and stepped toward him, "Then do it for Willow.
This is her town, too."

"I'll take care of shagging Willow," he smirked. "Doesn't have to be
here. You know, this demon can affect slayers as well as he can anyone
else. I might enjoy watching you screw yourself senseless, well, more
senseless."

Buffy grabbed him by the collar and dragged him up off the sofa as she
slid the stake in her sleeve down into her hand.

"No you don't!" Willow shouted and grabbed the slayer's wrist. "No
stakes in my house! Put it away--now!"

Buffy looked sideways at her and let go of Spike. She shoved the stake
into her jacket pocket and glared back at the vampire.

"Spike," Willow said. "If you can help, I'd like you to. Please?"

His icy stare thawed as he looked down at her, "All right, pet."

Buffy breathed a sigh and stepped away from them.

"Can you meet us in the library after sunset?" she asked.

"We'll be there," Willow agreed.

Her friend nodded and let herself out the front door.

"You won't try to hurt her, will you?" Willow asked Spike.

He put his arms around her and pulled her against him, "I'll fight her
damned demon. With any luck, she'll get in the way, and I'll get a
slayer as a bonus."

"I don't think I'm going to like this," Willow moaned.

Spike chuckled and ran his hand up under her skirt.

"I know what you like," he grinned as his fingers dove between her
legs. "I figure if we try hard enough, the two of us could give that
demon a massive overload and burn him back to hell."

Willow's body tensed in his arms, and Spike laughed and kissed her
forehead.

"I'm joking, pet," he told her.

"Oh," she sighed softly and relaxed against him. "But you do know how
to get rid of him?"

"I know what worked the last time," he answered.

"What?" she asked as she tried to wriggle away from the cold fingers
that were invading the soft folds between her legs.

"I don't want to talk about it," he said and crushed his lips to hers
as his finger slid into her wet channel.
 

Giles listened in obvious embarrassment as Spike described the more
indelicate affects of the demon.

"And you stood by and watched all that?" Buffy asked scornfully.

"I walked into the middle of it," he answered coldly. "By that time,
things had already started to go against the demon's favor."

"Why was that?" Willow asked.

"Well, pet, you humans do seem to get rather jealous when others help
themselves to people you consider to be yours," he answered.

"Yeah, and you'd yawn in boredom if some guy pawed at Willow," Buffy
snapped.

"I'd break his bloody fingers off his hands," Spike snarled.

"So jealousy isn't limited to those of us who actually have working
hearts," the slayer shot back.

"Could we get back to the point?" Giles sighed.

"The point is, after a couple of weeks of indescriminate shagging,
everyone was at each other's throats," Spike said. "No one wanted to
look at each other, let alone climb into each other's beds. The demon
was weakened to the point that defeating him wasn't too difficult."

"We're supposed to induce mass jealousy in everyone in Sunnydale?"
Buffy asked. "How do we do that?"

"A curse, maybe?" Willow suggested. "I wonder if there is one."

Giles looked at her, "It shouldn't take too long to find out. Do you
think you could handle it?"

"I'd be willing to try," she told him.

"No," Spike said.

Willow turned to him in surprise, "Why not?"

"Because the demon could decide to come after the little witch who
spoiled all his fun," he answered.

"Between you and Buffy, I'm sure I'd be safe."

"Buffy could stay with you," Giles said.

"You're out of your bloody mind," Spike growled. "I'll be damned if
she's staying with us!"

"You already are damned," Buffy sneered.

"Evidently, since you look like hell," he snapped.

Willow rolled her eyes, "Cut it out, you two! If we're going to stop
this demon, we'll have to work together."

"All right," Buffy conceded.

"Spike?" the redhead looked at him.

"The things I do for you," he grumbled.

"Good," Giles said. "Let's find a curse."

"I've got several," Spike replied as he scowled at the slayer."

"Come on," Willow chuckled and pulled him out of the chair. "Help me
look."

After a relatively short search, Giles came up with a suitable curse.
It took far longer to gather the necessary supplies and perform it, and
Willow leaned back in exhaustion when it was completed.

"How will we know if it worked?" Buffy asked.

"I should think the affects will be rather obvious," Giles said.

Spike nodded, "Lots of arugments, brawls, and broken hearts."

"Great, all we have to do is keep the residents from killing each
other," Buffy stated.

"Willow, how are you feeling?" Giles asked.

"I'm okay. A little tired," she smiled.

"Time to get you home," Spike said as he pulled her to her feet.

"Buffy, you should arrange to move in with them tomorrow," Giles
advised.

"That's a bit early, isn't it?" she asked.

"We only have a rough estimate as to when the demon will appear. Best
to be safe."
***
"What are you thinking?" Willow asked Spike after Buffy had tried to
make herself scarce by offering to make popcorn.

"That we could all be dead by the end of the week, without the help of
that demon," he muttered.

Willow slid onto his lap and put her arm around his neck, "It won't be
so bad."

"Don't kid yourself, pet," he replied.

"Well, look at it this way; you'll be asleep all day while we're up
doing stuff."

Spike arched an eyebrow, "We're?"

"Yeah, Buffy and me," she nodded.

"I don't think so. That blonde bitch isn't dragging you out of my bed,"
he told her.

Willow shook her head and leaned forward to kiss him.

"You're right. I am kidding myself," she sighed.
 

The man across the street grabbed hold of a passing woman and backed
her against the outside wall of the store. Her arms snaked around the
man's neck as she crushed her body to his.

"What are they doing?" Willow squealed.

"You've been living with him for six months, and you don't know what
they're doing?" Buffy looked over at Spike, "That's got to be
humbling."

"We don't normally do it on street corners," Spike sneered and looked
daggers at the slayer.

"Could we please not watch this?" Willow groaned and turned away.

"I don't think the curse is working," Buffy stated.

"Oh, I don't know," Spike replied as another man came running down the
sidewalk to drag the man off the woman.

"It must be working, or he'd be joining in instead of fighting with
that guy," the vampire said.

A soft yelp from Willow caused her two companions to turn toward her. A
tall man was blocking her path, eyeing her with obvious interest.

Spike snarled and grabbed Willow's arm. The man stared hard at Spike
and latched onto the redhead's other arm. The vampire's game face
emerged, and the man's jaw dropped open in a silent scream. He released
Willow and fled down the street.

"I'm going home," Willow declared. "And I'm not coming back out until
everyone hates each other."

"Good idea," Spike agreed.

"Wait a minute!" Buffy protested.

"I'm taking Willow home," Spike snapped. "You stay out here and look
for the demon. Maybe someone desperate will come along and offer to
shag you."

The slayer whirled around and headed off in the other direction.

"Spike," Willow said. "We can't let her do this alone."

"She won't be for long," he grinned.

"You know what I mean! We have to help her!"

"Willow, in spite of this little cease-fire the slayer and I have been
playing around with, I really don't give a damn what happens to her,"
Spike said. "I do care about you. I really don't want you coming face
to face with the demon who's out to turn the Hellmouth into his own
version of the '60's sexual revolution."

Willow looked up at him in interest, "Were you here during that?"

Spike grinned, "Come home with me, and I'll tell you all about it.
Hell, I'll even provide visuals."

"But Buffy--"

"Look, pet, there's no way she's going to take down this demon. Not
yet. People will have to be knocking each other's teeth out before that
can happen. I'm taking you home," he said firmly.
***
Buffy returned to the house several hours later, her hair and clothing
considerably disheveled.

"Looks like the slayer scored," Spike smirked as Buffy tossed herself
onto a chair.

"Shut the hell up," she snapped.

"Nope, she got rejected, again. I guess even demons have their
standards."

Buffy looked at Willow, "I'm going to kill him if he doesn't shut up.
What the hell happened to you two? I turned around, and you were gone!"

"I don't remember saying we were going to follow you," Spike answered.

"People have lost their minds out there! They're ready to kill each
other," the slayer told them.

"That sounds promising," Spike replied.

"How long do we have to wait?" Willow asked.

"Give it another day or two," he answered.

"They'll all be in traction by then," Buffy snapped.

"Then they won't be climbing each other, will they?" he shot back.

"Which is exactly what we want. Isn't it?" Willow asked uncertainly.

"Exactly," Spike nodded and grabbed her up off the sofa. "Doesn't mean
we have to do solitary, though."

"Spike," Willow blushed. "We can't! Biffy needs--"

"Don't worry, pet." He reached down and picked up the TV remote and
tossed it to the slayer. "We get pay-per-view."

Buffy growled in frustration as Spike carried Willow down the hallway.
 

It was well past sunset before Buffy heard the shower in the bedroom
start, and another hour before Willow and Spike emerged from the
bedroom, fully clothed and hair slowly drying. The slayer slammed a
coffee mug onto the table and splashed steaming coffee into it before
shoving it toward Willow.

"The demon won't need the other residents," she snarled. "He can get
off on you two."

"Spoken like a woman who hasn't gotten any in--how long has it been?"
the vampire smirked. "Or have you lost track, too?"

Willow sighed and sipped at the coffee as her lover and her friend
glared hatefully at each other.

"Giles called," Buffy addressed the redhead. "The hospital is filled
with battered bodies. Sounds like Sunnydale is quickly beating itself
into a bloody pulp."

"That's good, right?" Willow asked.

"I'm planning on hunting down the demon tonight," she nodded. "I could
use your help, if you two can pry yourselves away from each other long
enough to remain upright for a couple of hours."

"Tough call," Spike said. "But I suppose, since fighting this demon is
the only satisfaction you'll be getting, we can take pity on you."

"You two are going to drive me crazy!" Willow shouted. "Buffy, Spike
and I don't spend all our time in bed!"

"No," Spike agreed calmly. "There's the sofa, and the floor, and the
table--"

Buffy scowled at the table in disgust, grabbed her mug off the table,
and practically threw it into the sink.

"And of course, we have to eat," he continued. "Which requires the
removal of our mouths from each other's--"

"Stop it!" Willow demanded as a scarlet blush stained her cheeks.

"Sorry, luv," Spike said unconvincingly. "I guess it is rather like
dangling caviar under a starving woman's nose."

"Can we just go find this demon and send his sorry ass back to hell?"
Buffy erupted angrily. "Then I can get out of here, once and for all."

"That's motivation enough for me," Spike replied. "I have one
suggestion."

Buffy eyed him warily, "What is it?"

"You take the lead," he answered. "Since he's drawn to sexual energy,
you'll be invisible."

Buffy released an angry breath and flung open the kitchen door,
"Whereas you'd be like a red flag in a bull pen."

Spike grabbed Willow's hand and pulled her out of the house with him.

"I like my predicament better," he said as he closed the door behind
him.
 

Buffy's frustration was rapidly turning to anger as the hours passed
with no sight of the demon.

"Where the hell is he?" the slayer grumbled.

"I said you'd be invisible," Spike smirked. "I think she needs some
help, pet."

He pulled Willow into his arms and fastened his lips to hers.

"Your brain only runs on one track, doesn't it?" Buffy snapped. "What's
the opposite of an aphrodisiac?"

"You," he answered coldly.

"Spike," Willow said. "If we help Buffy find this demon, we can kill
him, and she can move out of--"

"Let's go," he nodded and grabbed her hand.
***
"This town is so quiet it's spooky," Buffy spoke softly as they turned
the corner onto yet another street. "You do good curses, Willow."

"It'll be her last," a voice said from behind them.

Spike stepped in front of Willow as they turned to face the demon.

"Spike," the demon nodded as a slow, cold grin crept across his face.
"Is the little witch yours? How perfect. You can watch while I tear her
apart."

"I'd rather watch you tear her apart," Spike suggested, gesturing
toward Buffy.

"I'll do that, too, as soon as I've finished with this one," the demon
agreed as his eyes raked over Willow's slender frame.

"Don't let him worry you, luv," the vampire said as he felt Willow's
hand tighten around his arm. "The only thrills he gets are vicarious.
When it comes to actual shagging, he's not quite up to it."

The demon snarled and took a step closer to him. Spike latched onto the
demon's throat and flung him back onto the street.

"This is almost too bloody easy," Spike smirked as he watched Buffy
land on top of the demon, stake in hand. "Uh, Slayer, that won't work.
He isn't a vampire, you know."

"Well, what the hell do I do?" she shouted angrily as the demon fought
to get free.

"Kiss him," Spike answered, looking her straight in the eye.

"What?" she screeched.

"That's right," he nodded barely restraining his laughter. "Right on
the lips, open-mouthed, a little tongue--"

"Are you out of your mind?" Willow gasped.

"Nope. The recent lack of screwing has left him completely weakened.
One good, hard kiss. It'll suck the energy right out of him."

"Oh shit," Buffy moaned, shoving the struggling demon back down onto
the pavement.

"Go on; it's your sworn duty and all that rot," he urged her. "Pucker
up and pretend it's soulboy."

Buffy squeezed her eyes shut and fought the need to gag as she pressed
her lips to the demon's. Willow groaned and covered her eyes with her
hand as Spike chuckled and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her
against his chest.

A strange gurgling sound issued from the demon's mouth and Buffy took a
deep breath and shoved her tongue between his lips. The demon growled
only briefly before dissipating into a purple haze. Buffy leapt to her
feet and clutched her stomach. She whirled on Spike as he broke into
raucous laughter.

"What the hell is so funny?" she demanded. "Who did that the last time,
in that little town in England, huh?"

Willow stepped back a pace and looked up at him, her eyes wide, "Did
you--"

"Somebody had to," he shrugged, then glared over at Buffy. "And if you
breathe a word of that to anyone, I'll--"

"I won't tell on you if you won't tell on me. Deal?" she asked coldly.

"Deal," he nodded. "And you've got fifteen minutes to get packed and
get the hell out of our house."

"I'll be gone in ten," she snapped back. "Who can get any sleep in that
place the way you two are constantly--"

"Now, now," he scolded. "At least you can comfort yourself with the
fact that you tongued someone into oblivion. It's probably the closest
you'll ever get to that, too."

Buffy turned on her heel and started off down the street.

"Spike, she doesn't have to leave tonight. At least give her until
morning," Willow said as he took her hand.

"Hell no," he replied. "Ten minutes, luv, and the house will be all
ours again. I'm kind of liking the tonguing into oblivion idea. Fancy
giving it a go?"

"Well," Willow grinned and wrapped her arm around his waist. "As long
as she's leaving anyway--"

Spike pulled her around to face him and kissed her.

"Do you know how much I love you?" he asked softly.

"I think so," she answered, smiling up at him. "But you can show me if
you want to."

"I want to," he agreed, taking her hand to lead her home.

End 5/5

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