Willow watched, concealed by the shadows, as Buffy and Xander crossed
the street to the Bronze. A leggy brunette stepped away from the small
group that had gathered on the sidewalk. She took Xander's hand as he
bent to kiss her. The trio exchanged words, and Buffy's laughter was
carried along the night air and across the pavement.

"That must be the happy couple," Spike sneered from over Willow's
shoulder.

She leaned back against him, and he wrapped his arms around her.

Spike looked down at her in mild concern, "You okay, baby?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "It's just--harder than I thought it would be.
They've gotten on with their lives. What else could they do?"

"Come on, pet. Let's grab something to eat," he pulled her gently away
from the animated scene that had transfixed her.
***
"It all seems so long ago, like a different lifetime," she murmured as
they walked, hand-in-hand, through the park.

"It was a different lifetime, luv," he told her.

"It's like trying to recall a dream," she looked around her at the
benches and picnic tables. "We used to come here a lot, to make plans
for the evening, plans for the future."

"You miss it," Spike said.

She stopped and turned to look at him, "No, not exactly. Those memories
were tainted long before London. I guess I miss what might have been,
if they hadn't turned against me, against us. Still, they were my
friends. They meant a lot to me."

"I know," he whispered.

"Why do I feel this way?" she asked. "Why do I feel like I want to hold
them and rip out their throats at the same time? Am I supposed to feel
this way? I'm a demon now, after all."

"Better tell her," Angel spoke as he appeared from the leafy cover of a
nearby tree. "She's going to figure it out sooner or later."

"Angel," Spike snarled.

"Tell me what?" Willow asked.

"What you are," Angel replied.

"I'm a vampire," she shrugged. "What's to tell?"

Angel looked over her at her sire. Spike's eyes flashed murderously
back at him.

"Spike?" Willow's hand tightened in his. "What is it?"

Spike reached into his pocket and drew out a packet of cigarettes. He
brought one to his mouth and lit it. He inhaled deeply and released a
thin stream of smoke as his mind searched for a way around this,
knowing there was none.

"You're a demon," he finally spoke. "You're my childe."

"But?" she prodded.

Spike cast a glance at Angel. He'd started this. Let him explain it to
her.

"But there's a part of you, a small part, that's retained part of your
goodness," Angel said. "Sometimes, when a human is turned, their innate
nature is so deeply embedded, the demon can't completely eradicate it.
I've heard of it happening, but I've never met one, until now."

"You're saying I have a soul, like you?" she asked.

"Not a soul," Spike answered. "Just a small part of the original human.
When it happens, it's usually a tendency toward sadism or savagery."

"In your case, it's benevolence," Angel added. "That human part of
yourself that could never hurt anyone."

"I'd hurt people, before," she said.

"Not intentionally, not without provocation," Angel replied. "There's a
part of you that still feels empathy for the people you cared about
before."

"But I want to hurt them. I really do!" Willow told them.

"That's the demon. It's stronger than the human remnant," Angel
explained. "But that human element can be nurtured. It can grow and
strengthen."

"The world doesn't need another compassionate vampire, soulboy," Spike
growled.

"If it's what she wants," Angel argued. "Is it, Willow?"

"I want Spike," she answered. "Just Spike."

"You've got me, baby," he told her. "Find someone else's mind to play
with, Angel. She belongs to me."

Angel backed off, unwilling to chance turning Willow against him. He
knew he couldn't help her without her sire's consent, but he could
gently persuade her, and she, in turn, could convince Spike. Their pull
on one another was undeniably strong. She'd obviously been feeding from
her sire's blood. But that pull could be used to her advantage. With
guidance, she could bring Spike to accept the idea of cultivating the
humanity that lived within the demon. It would take time and patience,
but both of those were eternally abundant.

"Spike, take me home," Willow asked softly.

"Come on, pet," he nodded and turned a warning glare on Angel.
***
Willow spent a sleepless day in Spike's arms. He awoke to her cold body
lying close to his, her arm absent-mindedly stoking his chest.

"It's okay, Willow," he told her.

"I don't want to be like him," she said. "I don't want to spend forever
agonizing over a past that never ends."

He tilted her chin and looked into her eyes, "That won't happen, baby.
You're my childe. I made you what you are. I made you strong, and I'll
keep you that way."

"How?" she asked hopefully.

"You are what I am. A part of me resides inside of you, Willow. That
can never be undone. Think about it. What do you really want from the
slayer and the rest of them?"

Her answer was immediate, "Pain. I want them to feel pain."

Spike smiled, "Then you'll have it."

"But what about the other part, the human remnant? Isn't that what
Angel called it? Where does that fit in?"

"Right here, baby. Between us, where it's always been. I can satisfy
that part of you, the part that needs to hold and be held, the part
that needs to be compassionate and soft. You give that part to me."

She lay very still against him, letting his words wash over her mind
and calm her anxieties.

His hand cupped her breast, caressing her soft flesh, "The rest of the
world can satisfy the demon."

She moved around and brought her body down on his, "You do a damn good
job of satisfying that part, too."

He smiled and brought her mouth to his. She felt his hardness against
her belly and moved her hips against his, impaling herself on his cock.

Spike placed his hands on her breasts, and she grasped his arms. He had
taught her well. She had become an accomplished lover. Her body
demanded his release, and he threw his head back and thrust up into
her. She lowered herself and bit into the flesh below his collarbone.
Spike held her to him as she drank from his power, her body shuddering
from the release of her orgasm.

She rested on top of him, the full weight of her body pressing down on
him. He rubbed her back and licked at her earlobe. Willow trembled in
pleasure and placed a kiss on his neck.

"Oh, Satan. Who needs humanity when you can have this?" she whispered.

He chuckled into her ear, "Home, sweet home hasn't been much fun for
you, has it, baby?"

She raised her head to look at him, "I'm starting to like it better.
The sun will be setting soon."

"So it will. What would you like to do tonight, little one?" he smiled.

"Let's go out and play," she suggested.

Spike looked into her dancing eyes and grinned, "Sunnyhell is your
sandbox, my love."

End.

next