Willow sat downstairs in her family's living room, her
fingers moving softly on the old piano. She had
learned to play the piano years ago, for her mother
had insisted on the lessons. Xander had teased her
something awful about it, and she had begged to stop
the lessons. Her mother finally gave up insisting on
the lessons when she realized that Willow wouldn't
play in public. It didn't mean that Willow hadn't
retained what she had learned. Willow spent hours at
the piano when no one was home, and the Scooby gang
had all gone home for the night. It was relaxing to
play old love songs, and she loved picking out the
notes of newer songs. Just now she was playing a new
song by Melissa Ethridge, called The Weakness in me.
She sang softly to the music the piano created:
"Not the sort of person who falls in and quickly out
of love
But you I gave my attention right from the start
I have a lover, who loves me, how could I break such a
hart
Yet still you get my attention
Why do you come here, when you know I've got troubles
enough?
Why do you call me when you know I can't answer the
phone?
You make me lie when I don't want to -
And you make someone else some kind of an unknown
fool.
And you make me stay when I should not.
Are you so strong?
Or is all the weakness in me?"
She sighed as she sang; thinking of the current mix up
she was in. Tara loved her. It was a known fact. Tara
cared for her in the same way Oz had. She was kind,
caring, considerate, loving, she always put Willow's
needs in front of her own.
The problem was that Willow felt like she was drifting
- When she closed her eyes it wasn't Tara's face she
saw, but that of another. A certain vampire's face.
Those cold blue eyes that seemed to penetrate deep
into her soul, and tear all her secretes out. He had
been coming around an awful lot lately, and they had
spent a lot of time laughing, joking, and getting to
know each other. Tara was slowly falling to the
sideline, as Willow started spending more and more
time with Spike. Willow loved Tara, with a tender
sweetness, but it was Spike who sent fire into her
soul.
"Why do you come here and pretend to be just passing
by?
When I need to see you and I need to hold you tightly?
Feeling guilty worried waking from tormented sleep.
Oh this old love has me by the hand
But the new love cuts deep.
And if I choose now I'll loose out
One of you has to fall-
And I need you and you.
Why do you come here, when you know I've got troubles
enough?
Why do you call me when you know I can't answer the
phone?
Oh you make me lie when I don't want to
And you make someone else some kind of an unknown
fool.
And you make me stay, when I should not.
Are you so strong?
Or is it all the weakness in me?"
Willow sighed again as the words rang truer than she
wanted them too. She and Spike were now talking on the
phone at least once a day. And for Spike to actually
be using a phone - Well, lets just say that he only
did it because it was the only way he could
communicate with Willow during the day. At night
Spike would come to where ever Willow was, and Willow
had started giving excuses to Tara so that Tara
wouldn't be there when Spike was. They hadn't done
anything "wrong". Not really. Not yet at any rate.
Spike would hang out with her talking all hours of the
night, and when she got tired he would hold her while
she slept. Willow needed that contact. Needed it like
she had once needed being held by Oz. Needed Spike in
a way that Tara could never comprehend.
Willow knew she was going to have to make a choice
soon, and knew what it was going to be. She was going
to have to break it off with Tara, and tell her about
her feelings for Spike. It was a hard choice, she
didn't want to hurt the one and only girl she had ever
had feelings for. But, deep in her heart, she had
already moved on.
"Are you so strong?
Or is it all the weakness in me?
Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing
by?
When I need to see you -
And I need to hold you tightly."
Willow's fingers slowly stopped playing. She knew what
she had to do. She walked over to the living room
phone, and began to dial a familiar number.
A certain blond vampire sat outside and smiled as the
sound of Willow's song faded. Spike waited, knowing
what Willow was doing. And when it was done, and she
was lonely, confused and upset, that was when he would
go and knock on the door, pretending to be just
passing by.