*****

~Part 1~

Willow sat down on her bed, thinking of what had just happened in the past hour. It was over. All over.

/You and me
We used to be together
Every day together always/

Spike had asked her to come to the crypt awhile ago, and said he had some news. He didn't sound strange or anything, so Willow didn't worry. she
remembered changing into a cute outfit he had bought her, and put her hair up in clip.

/I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end/

Once she got there, she got a bad feeling. Something was wrong. Was off. She couldn't point it out, but she knew something strange was going on. She walked into the crypt, wondering where these thoughts had come from

/It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real,
Well I don't want to know/

He told her to sit down on the bed, and don't speak. He had to say something important. He wanted no interruptions, he just wanted to say it. Don't speak. He repeated to her.

/Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts/

He started to say that he loved her so much. Willow started to get shivers run up and down her spine. Something was up, and he wouldn't let her ask what it was. Willow closed her eyes slowly, and opened them again. He was staring at her intently. Willow didn't move, or make a sound. He nodded his head and proceded with what he was saying.

/Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening/

He started to say that he really did love her, at some time. Willow's heart shattered. At some time?! She wanted to get up and scream, but her body failed to move. She couldn't speak, couldn't do anything. Her body was numb.

/As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry/

Spike said he had thought all night about this, and it didn't feel right with him. That something was wrong. His voice was straining, like he couldn't bare to say these words. But if he couldn't bare it, why was he saying it? a lone tear slid out of Willow's eye, and ran down her cheek.

/Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts/

He continued to say it would never have worked, and all this was for the best. *bullshit* Willow thought. *Complete and total bullshit* none of this
could possibly be true. It just didn't seem right. He started to think last night, and decided he didn't love her?! It sounded like something out of a
soap opera. Willow wanted to scream for him to stop talking, but her throat had gone dry. Her voice was gone. All she could do was listen to horror story.

/Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts/

He was saying that he was sorry, but he didn't want to see, or talk to her anymore. That he was leaving for somewhere, he would not say where. As though scared she would track him down.

/It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me
I can see us dying...are we?/

He said again that he was sorry, walked out of the crypt, into the night. Willow's lip quivered. Yet again this happened.

"AGAIN!" Willow screamed out, to no one. She couldn't believe it. He left her because he supposedly didn't love her? Willow felt white hot heat spread through her. She wanted to hunt Spike down, and stake the bastard. How could he do this? He promised he would NEVER hurt her. *But oh, he's so great at keeping promises* she thought. Willow got up and walked out of the crypt, slowly.

/Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts/

Once Willow got outside, she looked back at the crypt. Tears started to run down her cheeks. She started to run. Run as fast as she could. She wanted to get away from the crypt. From him. From his scent. From Everything.

/Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts/

Willow didn't know where she was going, but she didn't care. She slowed down, to a stop, and took in her surroundings. She was in front of the crawford street mansion. She bit her lip, and then walked up the steps, into the dark building.

/I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining/

She brought a stake and cross out of her purse. She walked up the stairs, and looked around. She found a room with black satin sheets, and.... a drawing of Spike on the bedside table. *Great. I would walk into his room, wouldn't I?* Willow thought, glancing around the room.

/Don't speak
Don't speak
Don't speak/

Willow walked over to the bed, and sat down. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply. It still smelled of him. A smell of stale cigarettes, leather, and a scent that was completely Spike. She crawled up to the top of the bed, and curled into a ball, rocking back and forth, tears streaking down her cheeks, her eyes bright red. She fell asleep to the sound her crying.

/I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good
I know you're good
I know you're real good oh/

Willow awoke the next day, and left the mansion as soon as possible, going home, and changing. All day she was quiet, barely talking to anyone. Buffy was her usual cheery self, but today she seemed a bit different. like something else that made her happier, had happened. Willow didn't bother to ask, Buffy would say whenever.

/La da da da da da
La da da da da da
Don't, don't
Ohh Ohh/

Willow was with Buffy at the magic shop. The gang had long since gone, but Willow was helping Buffy with training. As the memories of the night before started to drive into Willow's mind, as the night came, Willow decided to go home. She said goodbye and walked out of the magic, tears once again streaking down her face. The memories assaulted her, bashing into her brain like a hammer. She tried to think of other things, but could not. All she could think of was the pain. The fear. The ache in her heart. She walked into her empty house, and went up to her room to bed. Dreaming only of the memories, Spike made her go through.

/Hush me hush me darling
Hush me hush me darling
Hush me hush me, don't tell me 'cause it hurts/

Buffy smiled to herself. They had broken up. With some work on her part. She had to torture Spike for a bit, to get him to give up Willow, but he finally gave in. They were no longer together. Now Everything was ok. All Buffy had to do, was keep quiet of what really happened, and Willow would move on. She would be happier for it. She would see that being with a vampire would end in pain. She smiled to herself, and left the shop, glad at the pain she had 'helped' Willow.

/Hush me hush me darling
Hush me hush me darling
Hush me hush me, don't tell me 'cause it hurts/
 

~Part 2~

Spike was driving to LA, pissed off at himself. Firstly, he had broken up with the woman he loved most, and who loved him back, and secondly he was going to see Peaches. *Totally and completely lost my mind. 'Pect I should start to hear the stars singing pretty soon.* he thought to himself
bitterly. Though there wasn't much he could have done. The fucking Slayer had tortured him, *badly too* as he brushed his hand across his neck, which had a healing scar. He remembered her dripping holy water across his neck. He winced slightly, but quickly went back to the task of driving.

****

Willow walked out of the Wet Seal store with Buffy, Buffy had bags and bags of cute clothes. Everytime Willow would get close to finding something she would like, Buffy would say it didn't fit Willow very well, and would find her size, and buy it. Willow was so sick of it.

"Hey, Willow, you ok? You're quiet." Buffy said, smiling cheerfully.

"Just thinking." Willow said.

"Ah. Well I gotta go," Buffy said "I gotta pick up Dawn from school. And I gotta take these clothes home with fast." she finished, grimacing slightly
at the thought of Dawn.

"Oh ok. I'm gonna browse around here some more." Willow said, straining a smile at Buffy. Buffy nodded and headed off.

Willow sighed to herself, and turned around, heading towards Macys.

*****

Willow stood in her room, grimacing. It was so dull over here, everything showed that she was a perfect little girl, and she hated it. She set down
the bags, and smiled to herself, as she looked into the Macys bag which had some cool bedroom stuff. As she started to go through the satin sheets and leopard print comforter, her phone rang.

"Yeah?" she asked, in way of greeting. There was no answer on the other end.

"Hello?" Willow said. "Hello?" Willow repeated.

"Willow." said a quiet voice.

"Angel?" Willow asked, her brow furrowing. "Umm... no offence or anything, but why are you calling me?" Willow asked.

"Well, I know that you and Spike were once dating..." he started.

Willow's bottom lip quivered "we were, yes." she said, her voice shaky.

"Why did you break up?" he asked.

"Why do you want to know?" she asked "and how do you know."

"Well, ah. I asked first." He said. Willow gave a small smile into the phone, but it quickly disappeared.

"I don't know why you want to know, but oh well. Spike doesn't love me anymore. He told me." Willow almost whispered into the phone, but Angel
heard every word of it.

"There must be a reason, though. I mean, I know for a fact that Spike loves you.." he started.

"Look, Angel, I'm really busy right now and don't want to talk." She said. "Bye." she said clicked off on her phone. Wiping the stray tear from her
eye, she turned to the bags again, and started to sift through, sorting out the clothes and bedroom stuff.

*****

Angel looked at the phone blankly, and then turned it off. He turned to Cordelia, who was right behind him.

"Ok." He started, "Spike comes up here, drunk as a dog, passed out in one of the rooms. He started to fucking babble about Buffy and then breaking up with Willow. I call Willow, and get barely anything out of her. What ever happened to men who stay sober,"

"Umm... when do men ever stay sober, especially if they've broken up with someone or were cheated on or…" Cordy interrupted.

"Cordy." Angel said, sternly. Delia stopped talking and looked at him, her eyebrows raised. "Can I speak?" he asked her. She nodded and he  continued. "As I was saying, whatever happened to men who stayed sober and woman who didn't hang up on you?" Cordy snorted, and Angel stared at her.

"Welcome to the 21st century." She said. Angel through his hands up into the air "I give up!" he nearly screamed. *Even when he's mad he's still yummy* Cordy thought, staring at him hungrily. She turned back to her laptop computer, and started typing an e-mail.

*****

Willow looked around at the room. She had boxed some of her childish stuff, and put up her stuff that she bought. She had chosen a leopard theme
for the room, and was glad with the turnout. Turning to her radio, she flipped it on, and I Wish it Would Rain Down, by Phil Collins started to
play. She smiled, and listened to the lyrics. She always did like this song, she started to sway to the song, closing her eyes she started to dance
slowly. She stopped midway. It didn't feel right, dancing to a slow song alone. *I miss dancing with Spike* she thought sadly. She kicked herself
mentally. He wasn't coming back, so what point wishing? She turned off the radio, and changed into some satin PJ's, and lay down on the bed, falling asleep, all while thinking of dancing with Spike.

*****

"Buffy, I can't believe you did that!" Xander said, staring at the blond in shock. "You made them break up? He wasn't that bad, ya know! I mean, I know he's Spike, evil vampire, and all that, but he wasn't being a total asshole. Plus, and I believe you forgot this part, He LOVES her."

"He does not. Come on, really, you seriously think that he would love anyone?" she asked.

"Didn't he love that Drusilla chick?" Anya interjected.

"It was an obsession." Buffy shot back quickly.

"Ok, while I do usually hate Spike, I do think he and Willow work well together." Xander said, staring at Buffy.

"When I found out, I knew what it was. He was gonna use Willow to get to me, it's that simple."

"Someone has an ego." Anya said, in a sing song voice, which irritated Buffy to no end.

"I do not." Buffy spat.

"Oh someone's grown up." Anya said dryly.

"I'm going"

"Good. If you don't mind, I won't show you to the door. I don't want to see your face anymore."

"That's enough!" Xander said, loudly. "Buffy, I think it would be best if you left."

Buffy's mouth dropped open, but she quickly resolved herself. "Ok" she said, and left the apartment quickly.

"Well, that was nice. We now have the rest of the night to ourselves." She said.

"Anya, it's," Xander said, glancing at the clock "3 am. I have work tomorrow." Anya started to pout. "Anya, if I don't go to work it means I can't pay for this apartment." He warned. Anya stopped pouting.

"Ok, ok." She said. The two got into bed, Anya curling in next to Xander.

*****

Willow awoke with a start. She glanced at the clock *3 am* she thought. She rubbed her eyes, and sat up in her bed, recalling her dream. It was, as usual, filled with Spike. And, as the dreams before, it was him breaking up with her. But there was a weird twist to the dream. Buffy showed up after Spike left and said that she made them break up for Willow's own good. Willow's brow furrowed in confusion. She got out her dream book and wrote down the dreams.
 

~Part 3~

"So, you ok?" Anya asked, walking with Willow to work.

"Depends on how you define ok, Anya." Willow said.

"Are you miserable without him?" She asked.

"Yes." Willow whispered.

"Does it feel like someone ripped your heart out with a spoon?" Anya asked.

"And took my heart cramped it into a small box, and dropped it into the ocean to go and meet the Titanic." She said.

"Ok, you're not Okay." Anya said.

"I'll get over him." Willow said, straightening her back, and making her face set, and resolved.

"Whatever you say." Anya said, not believing her friend. They walked into the small bookshop, and Willow quickly put on her apron.

"Pick me up after work?" Willow asked.

"As if you have to ask. Five PM?" Anya asked.

"Yep." Willow said. Anya and Willow said their good-byes, and Willow walked to the back of the store, to open the latest shipment of books.

*********

"Well, I seriously doubt Buffy wants to go to LA, Angel, and also she has her duties here. Xander is to busy, and Anya doesn't know how to drive..... Ok, I'll ask Willow. Yes, all right. Good-bye Angel." Giles set down his phone, and sighed. and walked out of the kitchen, everyone but Willow and Anya were there.

"Where's Willow?" Buffy asked.

"She is with Anya, I would think." Giles said, sitting down. He grabbed a book, and started sifting through it. "I'm sure she'll be here soon." Just
then he heard the door opened and looked up, it was Willow and Anya.

"Oh, good. You're here Willow. I need you to do me a favor." He started. Willow smiled, and nodded. "There is a book that Angel needs," Giles said,
picking up a giant volume. "Buffy has duties, and no one else can go. Can you please drive to LA and give this to Angel? He also asked if you could help him figure out some of it." Giles said, smiling softly at Willow.

"Uh...sure, Giles...I guess." Willow sat down in the chair at the desk. "When do I have to go?" She asked.

"Tonight." The watcher said.

"Tonight? Bit short notice, but all right...can I use your phone real fast?" At Giles nod, she stood and went into the kitchen, calling the bookstore in
which she worked at.

*******

Twenty minutes later, Willow grabbed the book and headed down to Anya's car.

"Thanks for letting me use your car, Anya." Willow said.

"No problem." Anya shrugged. "See ya later. Call me once you get there." She smiled. Willow smiled back, and got into the car, starting it. Anya stood back and watched her friend drive for LA.
 

~Part 4~

Willow finally reached LA, but her mind wasn't on that matter. Mostly, it was on Spike. *And* Willow thought, glancing around at the car. Anya's Saturn. Her explanation for a car was quite interest.

"A lot of people had cars. I thought it would help me act more like a human." Willow didn't think anything could really help her act more human.... except Xander.

*******

"Angel?" Willow called from the door of the hotel.

"Willow, hello." Angel said. Willow jumped a bit, and turned to her.

"Well, at least we know you are still stealthy."

"Well, I have my moments." He smiled.

"Wow. Angel smiled." Willow grinned. Cordelia came up behind Angel.

"Shock, isn't it?" She asked.

"I am in the room." He walked away from both the girls, and over to the desk. "So Willow," Angel said, breaking up the two girls chatting. "Do you have the book?"

"Yep." She grabbed her bag, and opened it. Grabbing the book inside, she walked over to Angel and handed it to him. Angel took the book, and sifted through it. Cordelia grabbed Willow hand and dragged her away again.

"Where are you staying?" The brunette asked.

"Probably find some hotel..." Willow took in her surroundings, and gave a small smile. "One that actually has room service, not vamps." She amended.

"Willow, you're staying here." Angel said. Willow looked at him, her brow furrowed.

"I don't want to bug you guys."

"A room's already been fixed up for you," Angel said. Willow raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't even act stubborn." He said. Willow just shrugged, and
Cordy grabbed her suitcase, and the two girls started upstairs.

*******

"Here ya go." Cordy said, walking into Willow's room. Willow looked around the room, and smiled. It was perfect.

"Ya know, I should live here..." Willow said, smiling.

"Maybe." Cordy whispered. Cordy shut the door, then walked over to Willow's bed, sitting down next to the suitcase.

"What rags...clothes, did you bring?" She asked.

"None...." Willow said. "I thought I would just drop off the book, help decode it, then leave...looks like there's other plans."

"We'll go shopping...got any cash?" The ex-cheerleader asked. Willow grabbed her wallet, and pulled out a piece of plastic.

"A credit card." She smiled.

"Smart girl. I need some beauty sleep, so later."

"Yep...you really, really do." Willow grinned. Cordy hit her arm slightly, before walking out of the room. Shaking her head, Willow slipped out of her
jeans, and walked over o the bed, slipping underneath the covers, and falling into another night full of Spike filled dreams.

*********

"I cannot believe you." Spike said, walking through the kitchen. Angel just stared at him.

"Buffy wouldn't come, no one else was available, except Willow."

"She does work." Spike said. Angel looked at him, with raised eyebrows. "What? It's a bookshop." Spike said.

"I never knew she worked." Angel said, thoughtfully.

"No one, other than me, ever really knew." Spike said. "She's been working there for a while, her aunt owns the shop." Spike walked over to the
microwave grabbed his mug of blood. He took a gulp from the mug, then continued. "She never really told anyone, because she liked to go somewhere quiet, where she knew her friends wouldn't be."

"That sounds like Willow." Angel nodded.

"She's asleep...or will be soon." Cordy said, walking into the kitchen. "Tomorrow, her and I are shopping."

"Why?" Angel asked.

"Didn't pack any clothes... She figured she would decipher everything tonight, and she got here so late...she's a weird girl."

"That's why I love her." Spike said.

"And left her." Cordy said, cruelly.

"Not by choice." Spike said, glaring at the ex-cheerleader.

"You should have told Willow what had happened, then she could have acted, you could have come here, to make Slutty believe the story, and then she could come up here and visit you. But no. Break the girls heart. Asshole." Cordelia sighed.

"You've been wanting to say that for a while, haven't you?" Angel asked.

"Ever since his annoying drunk ass walked in that door." Cordy smiled. Spike just scowled at both of them, not saying a word.

"Well, I'm going to bed. Much shopping tomorrow. Night asshole. Night Angel." Cordy turned, and walked out of the kitchen. Spike turned at looked at Angel, after Cordy had left.

"You want her bad, peaches." Spike smiled.

"Shut up, annoying Childe."

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