Rating: Again, I'll go with R just to be on the safe side for mentions of naked bits and pieces.
Pairing: Willow/Spike
Summary: The morning after Misery Loves Company.
Spoilers: Set post-season 7 of BtVS, and current Season 5 of Angel, but AU (Author's Universe) - However, nothing is really mentioned from past episodes in thie part.
Distribution: Red's Soulmates, Near Her Always, WLS, Shades of Grey and anyone else who wants, please ask.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I wish I did, but I don't. Joss does...greedy S.O.B. He can afford to share them with me so I can play. The song Misery, which inspired this whole evil plot-bunny that hopped on my head until I sat down and wrote, is off the CD Missundaztood by Pink.
Feedback: If you want to, I won't say no.
A/N1: Thanks to Jenni, my beta! Hold onto your computer desk. Don't let it get blown away this morning.
A/N2: I was in a very fluffy mood. Warning - Author's Attempt at Comedy Ahead. Oh, and there will be a sequel...again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Misery - written by R. Supa, performed by Pink and featuring Steven Tyler and Richie Sambora (yumm) - BTW this song has a very bluesy tempo to it.
Shadows are fallin' all over town
Another night and these blues got me down
Oh, misery! I sure could use some company
Since he's been gone I ain't been the same
I carry the weight like an old ball and chain
Guess its all meant to be
For love to cause me misery
Oh misery! Oh misery!
Tell me why does my heart make a fool of me
Seems it’s my destiny
For love to cause me misery
And, oh! I've been down this road before
With a passion that turns into pain
And each time I saw love walk out the door
I swore I'd never get caught again
But ain't it true? It takes what it takes
And sometime we get too smart too late
One more heartache for me
Another night of misery
Oh! And oh misery! Oh misery!
Tell me why does my heart make a fool of me
Oh misery! Oh misery!
Tell me why, why, why, why, why, why does this
heart make a fool of me
Seems its my destiny
For love to cause misery, oh
Misery
Guess its all meant to be
For love to cause me misery, oh, no, yeah
Misery
~~~*~~~
Willow slowly waded her way to consciousness, but her eyes remained closed. Her normally agile brain seemed to be extremely sluggish for some unfathomable reason this morning. The bed she was sleeping in wasn't her own, of that she was sure. Willow had been staying at the Hyperion on a decidedly hard mattress...not that she'd complain to Angel. She didn't want to appear the ungrateful guest. This morning though, the bed she slept upon was soft and cushy, like being wrapped in cotton candy.
The thought of the sugary confection made her stomach lurch. That's when she realized that while she was sleeping, some furry little critters had crawled into her mouth and plastered themselves to both the roof and her tongue. She smacked her lips together as she tried to pry the little buggers off, running her tongue over the top of her mouth. Willow moaned as the latest boot camp recruits at Fort Dix suddenly invaded her head to practice their marching skills. Alcohol. There had been copious amounts of alcohol in a demon bar...with Spike.
She felt a heavy, but cool weight across her body. Did she sleep through a coat tree falling on her in the middle of the night? Gosh, she must have had more to drink than she thought. The weight extended down her thigh, across her waist, along her left upper torso, and pressed against her neck. Something cool and wet slithered across her pulse point, and Willow finally forced her eyes open.
Where the hell was she? The witch peered at the burgundy walls and ceiling. Definitely not her room. Her walls were a soft beige with a peach and cream border print. She cautiously glanced downward, attempting to discover what creepy crawly had invaded her bed and wiggled against her neck.
Blond. There was blond hair. Not a long, soft waterfall like Tara's used to be; this was short, curly and platinum. Willow knew there was something she was missing. Something her mind didn't want to process or traumatize her with. It seemed to be withholding information on purpose, not allowing her to draw any conclusions. Yep, her brain was sitting in her head at the control panel, flipping switches madly, trying to delay the inevitable, as red lights flashed and sirens went off. She could hear an internal 'Warning! Warning! Danger! Take cover, it's gonna blow!' Her usually agile mind returned to form and noticed there was a naked vampire sprawled across her body, holding her possessively. Scratch that. There was a naked vampire sprawled across her *own* naked body, holding her possessively.
Willow did the only thing any rational girl who grew up on the Hellmouth would do. She scrambled back on the bed, sat up against the headboard, and screamed loud and long.
In her rush to get away from Spike, she kneed him in the jaw, waking him suddenly. Game face in full effect, he growled until her shrill scream pierced his sensitive ears. Turning bleary eyes on the screaming banshee, it took but a split second for Spike to realize who exactly was in his bed.
"Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!" His own startled scream joined hers.
Both quieted momentarily, staring at each other in horror. The bedroom door slammed open, revealing a sleep-disheveled Angel, his always-perfect hair mussed and standing up on one side of his head. The black satin pajama bottoms were a testament to the fact that his sleep had been interrupted. His room was just down the hall, and he'd been startled awake by the panicked cries emanating from Spike's room. He took in the scene before him briefly. Naked Spike. Naked Willow. In bed...together.
"Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!" Angel bellowed, his mind instinctively trying to comfort him. 'It's not real. It's an illusion. Not real. Not real. Gods above, Willow's naked. Why the hell is she naked? When the hell did she turn into a woman...and what the hell is she doing in Spike's bed?'
His scream in turn produced more of the same from the other two parties on the bed. It was turning out to be a big ol' scream-fest.
Willow desperately scrambled on the bed, trying to find some bedding to cover her body, or at least all the important parts. She stopped, realizing there were no longer any sheets or a comforter in grasping distance. They had been thrown across the room sometime in the middle of the night. She instead resorted to the time honored tradition of trying to cover herself with arm extended across her sore breasts, and a hand splayed over the patch of cinnamon curls resting between her tender thighs. She was going to self-combust soon if they didn't both stop staring at her, and it didn't help that the soldiers in her head had taken up practicing double-time marching.
All three looked at each other, and exclaimed in unison, "What the hell?" Okay, actually Spike said "What the bloody hell?" Technicalities.
When neither man turned away from her blushing form, Willow shrieked, "Sheet!"
"You can say that again," Spike moaned, holding his own aching head.
"No, you idiot," Angel growled, walking toward the discarded linen. "She wants the sheet to cover up." He averted his eyes, and edged close enough to the bed that Willow could grab the material.
She wrapped it around herself quickly, tucking the end in between her breasts. Willow settled back against the headboard, both hands grasping the sides of her head, to prevent it from falling off her neck and rolling onto the floor. "Goddess, what happened?"
Angel, a bit more at ease now that the redhead had covered up all the Willowy parts he should never see, looked between the two on the bed. "You don't remember?"
Spike slid up the bed to lean against the headboard as well. Willow scooted as far away as possible, nervously plucking at the sheet draping her form. The blond ran a hand through his riotous curls, trying to clear away the fog besieging his brain. "We went out...didn't we?"
Willow nodded cautiously, also trying to retrace their steps the previous evening. "Uh-huh. There was a bar...lots of alcohol...a demon bartender that..." She looked at Spike, confused. "Clem?"
The vampire shook his head. "Clem's cousin, Norm."
"Ahhh," Willow nodded her understanding, then regretted it as the soldiers marched on.
Angel growled at his grand-childe. "You took her to a demon bar? Are you crazy? What the hell were you thinking?"
Spike sneered at the other vampire. "I was thinking that it was the only place I could get a decent shot of whisky with an O neg chaser, ya ponce."
"What happened then?"
Willow nervously nibbled her lower lip. "Ummm, we were talking...about...something?" She turned confused eyes to the still naked vampire sitting at her side, refusing to allow her eyes to dip below chest-level.
Spike frowned. "Yeah. I remember somethin' vaguely...Athol."
Angel frowned. "So you were talking about Xander?"
"Not asshole, you git, Athol, right, pet? Buffy's new...mingler."
Her eyes widened in remembrance. "Right! Right! Athol...and Kennedy."
Spike nodded. "And Dru, Harm, Dogboy, and your witch."
Angel moved back to pick up the comforter, throwing it over his oblivious grand-childe's prominent attributes.
Spike's memories were rolling along at a slow, but steady clip now. "Yeah, your cheatin' bird. Somethin' about a sloppy roundhouse."
Willow's brow furrowed. "Sloppy roundhouse?" Her eyes lit up, and she smiled as she grasped at the elusive conversation. "Bonnie! Bonnie and her big toes." Her frown immediately returned as some other memory eluded her. "Toes? Something about toes."
The blond rubbed his temples, trying to concentrate. "Toes and..."
"Oh, Goddess," Willow exclaimed, a horrorstricken _expression pasted on her face. "You sucked my toes." She stared at the man...er, vamp beside her. Angel growled low in his throat.
Spike drew himself up to full height. Well, as high as his height could be while seated and naked. "You're out of your bloody mind. I wouldn't suck your..."
He stumbled to a halt as fragmented images flashed in his mind. ~He knelt at the foot of the bed, kneading a warm, small foot in his hands. His tongue dipped between each tiny toe before he drew them into his mouth. As the vampire gazed up the leg attached to the foot he was giving so much attention, he noticed the creamy warm flesh that led to a nest of delicate curls. Further up were small, but pert breasts capped by dusky rose nipples.~ Spike's world spiraled out of control as the vision of Willow's lust-filled gaze slammed into his brain.
His memories were suddenly brought to a screeching halt as he was lifted from the bed, comforter be damned, and slammed against the wall by his angry grand-sire.
Unfortunately, while Spike's mind was distracted by the attack, Willow's wasn't. Visions flooded her head, one after the other, all involving the blond vampire in various states of undress. Then there were visions of her, naked. Heaven help her, there were images of both of them naked...in a shower?
"Conserving water," she choked out, her eyes squeezed shut.
Spike and Angel both looked at the blushing redhead.
"What? Willow, what are you talking about?" Angel asked.
Blue eyes widened as similar images assaulted the blond. He remembered washing the gunk out of the redhead's long, soft hair. Spike felt his dangly bits twitch a bit as he recalled the feel of her soft hands soaping his chest...and other body parts. "The shower," he murmured.
Willow took inventory of her body. Pressing her arms against her breasts, she registered the tenderness. She rubbed her thighs together and winced at the slight twinge of discomfort radiating from her sore vagina. "We had sex," she wailed.
"What?" Spike's eyebrows shot up. His memories weren't reaching that far ahead yet. The vampire shot a fearful look at Angel, who still held him against the wall. If he wasn't so worried about torture his grand-sire was going to inflict upon him when all was said and done, he would have had a good laugh at the ponce's face.
Angel's jaw drooped open, eyes wide in disbelief. "You...you...and Spike?" He exclaimed in disbelief. "Are you sure?"
Willow frowned at her friend. "I know it's been a while, Angel, but I do still remember what it feels like to wake up after a night of...ummm, well, you know, with a member of the opposite sex. All the appropriate body parts are, well, appropriately, ummm, sore."
Spike frowned. "I hurt you, Red?" He asked with a hint of concern.
She couldn't meet his eyes, head lowered as she continued plucking at the sheet. "Umm, not Ow, Ow, but more like Oh, Ow, ya know?"
Angel was still wrapping his mind around the fact that the sweet redhead had sex with his pain-in-the-ass grand-childe. "I thought you were gay."
She squirmed uncomfortably under his scrutiny. "Ummm, so did I."
Spike smirked at them both. "Yeah, I still got it."
Willow fumbled with the sheet a bit more, hissing as her finger slid against a particularly sore spot on the rise of her breast. Pulling the material away, she looked down to examine the source of her discomfort. Her eyes widened, and she gasped in shock. "You bit me!" She accused.
Angel's head whipped back around, hoping he'd heard her incorrectly. "What?"
The redhead tugged down the sheet just enough to expose a neat set of twin puncture marks already scabbed over in the pale flesh of her breast. "He bit me. You...you...you vampire!"
Spike looked between the flashing green eyes of the most powerful witch in the Western hemisphere, and the amber gaze of Angel, which at the moment was hinting at more than just a bit of Angelus. The dangly bits that had so recently been striving to make a comeback wilted under their glares.
"Oh, balls."