Author: Shannon
Pairing: Willow/Spike
Rating: G
Distribution: My site http://www.geocities.com/angels_soul_1/shadesofgrey.html ; If you have permission previously take it; anyone else just ask.
Feedback: love it. Angels_soul_1@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Joss Whedon, WB, UPN, and Fox.
Spoilers: To be safe I would say anything up to Gone
Author's note: Sequel to Love Discovered.
Summary: Spike POV. Spike goes to see Willow.
Improv: collect--balm--touched--find
Spike left his crypt as soon as the sun had set. Willow actually wanted him to come over. She found out about him watching the house, watching her, and wasn't disgusted or angry. She didn't say she loved him, but she didn't tell him to leave either. She asked him to come over tonight.
As he walked toward the house he began thinking about the last year. He had loved the Slayer, and she had rejected him, unless she needed his help protecting Dawn or fighting Glory then she was his friend. Then she was gone. He had thought about leaving, his reason for staying had been Buffy so why stay. He had told himself he was staying because he promised her he would protect Dawn, but that wasn't it. He would have protected Dawn with or without the promise. Dawn reminded him of the sister he had left behind when he was turned. He had always thought Buffy was the strength behind the group but over the summer he had quickly seen that Willow not Buffy held them all together. His respect for the witch had grown slowly becoming love.
When Buffy came back he tried to convince himself he still loved her. Truthfully a part of him still did. But it was different now. He knew she only came to him because she believed there was something wrong with her, that she wasn't responsible for her choices so it wasn't real. He knew she would never love him. Any chance of convincing himself otherwise ended when she decided to hide the relationship from her friends. Buffy would never love him so he needed to move on.
As Spike approached the house he saw Dawn pulling the door closed on her way out. He had to resist the instinct to move into the shadows. He spent so much time trying to avoid being seen outside this house he wasn't used to being invited over.
"Hi, Nibblet isn't it kind of late for you to be out?" He asked as they approached each other.
"Will knows I'm leaving. I'm spending the night at Janice's." Dawn said smiling at the vampire.
"Want me to walk you over?" Spike said suddenly unsure about the evenings plans.
"No you go see Willow. I'm fine." Dawn said as she started walking away, "Oh and Spike, don't screw up." She said as she waved and walked away.
"Bye." Spike said to the retreating girl.
Taking a deep unneeded breath he approached the door and knocked. At almost one hundred and thirty years old one wouldn't think I'd be nervous about this, Spike thought as he waited for Willow to answer the door.
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Spike watched as Willow collected the mugs and hot chocolate mix from the cupboards as the milk heated on the stove.
"Think you have any of those little marshmallows?" Spike asked moving behind her as she set the mugs down on the counter.
"You can see if you can find them. But I doubt it. Buffy tries not to keep fattening foods in the house." Willow said as she turned toward him. "You really need to make more noise when you move." She said leaning against the counter trying to put distance between them.
"I make you nervous?" Spike whispered leaning closer to her.
"Spike talk only remember?" Willow said putting her hand on his chest and pushing him away.
"Sorry." Spike said, "Can't blame me for trying."
Spike backed away not wanting to push the girl to much. He knew if he did, she would retreat from him. She was still kind of fragile, she was still dealing with Tara leaving, and the magic addiction. He had seen that happen to people before, the addiction anyway, he had never seen anyone stop before. He was impressed that she had the strength to do it, and he didn't plan on doing anything to jeopardize it for her.
"What are you thinking about?" Willow asked as she set the mug in front of him.
"Sorry." Spike said startled out of his thoughts by her voice.
"What are you thinking about? You looked a million miles away." She said as she sat down.
"You." Spike answered simply.
"huh?" She said blushing slightly.
"I've known people who were addicted to magic Willow. I've never seen one leave it. I'm surprised and impressed that you have the strength to just stop."
"Yeah well, don't be too impressed yet." Willow muttered.
"Why not? You let Buffy get rid of all the magic stuff. You haven't done any since that night. It's been almost a month, when you weren't even going a day."
"That's just it Spike." Willow said her head down so her hair hid her face from him. "Magic's how I found out you were following me."
"I don't understand." Spike said, he had assumed she looked out the window and saw him there. He didn't understand what magic had to do with anything.
"Yesterday, Tara came over to take Dawn to the movies, she barely spoke to me. Buffy's been kind of angry since that night that I. That Dawn was hurt. And she was at work." Willow said, Spike frowned slightly when he saw the tears forming in her eyes as she looked at him. "I had hidden a charm and a book. I was so afraid I would end up alone. I did a spell to find who would love me forever. It took me to your crypt. I followed you back here."
"That's when you called me inside?" Spike asked.
"No I didn't know what I wanted to do. Then Dawn came in. She's known all along that you were out there. She convinced me to call you inside and talk to you."
"Remind me to thank the Nibblet." Spike said standing up and pulling Willow up next to him, hugging her gently.
"You.you're not disappointed?" Willow said quietly her head resting on his chest.
"Why?" Spike asked smoothing his hand down over her hair. "Because you're not perfect. Already knew that Pet. So you made a mistake. You were afraid. We all make mistakes when we're afraid."
"Yeah but everyone's doesn't involve magic." Willow said pulling away and turning her back to him.
"Right. Mine involved chaining Buffy and Dru to walls." Spike said smiling.
"Okay you win. Your mistake is much bigger." Willow said smiling touched that he not only wasn't angry but was trying to cheer her up.
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Spike smiled looking down at the girl sleeping against his chest. It was late, he needed to leave, the slayer would be back soon. That wouldn't be good for anyone if she found him here. They had come in here to watch a movie after they finished their hot chocolate. She had fallen asleep before the movie ended. He hadn't wanted to wake her so he had sat here watching television long after the movie ended.
Sighing Willow moved her head up slightly resting it near his shoulder.
"Willow." Spike said softly into her ear not wanting to startle her.
"Spike." Willow said quietly not opening her eyes, just moving closer to him.
"Red," Spike began again, his words cut off when she turned her head slightly so her lips were inches from his. Groaning softly he lowered his mouth to hers, gently tasting her lips.
Willow sighed softly and turned so she was closer still to the vampire. As Spike teased her lips he could taste the lip balm she had been applying earlier before she fell asleep. Suddenly Willow's eyes opened and Spike felt her hands on his chest as she pulled away from him.
"Spike I we.What." Willow sputtered.
"I tried to wake you up. I need to leave. Then you turned your head and." Spike tried to explain as Willow moved away from him. Angry with himself for letting it happen and hoping she wasn't angry.
"God it was real." Willow muttered.
"What was real?" Spike asked.
"All of this, I thought I was dreaming that you were,,, that we. then I opened my eyes and." Willow said her words cut off by the sound of the door opening.
"Will are you home?" Anya called from the door. "I'm angry at Xander. I need to stay here tonight okay?" She said as she walked into the living room.
"I'll talk to you about that, uh, thing tomorrow." Spike said grabbing his duster.
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As Spike headed back toward his crypt, he was smiling to himself. Overall the night had gone very well. They had talked and learned a lot about each other. She was dreaming about him, that was a good thing. Maybe she would love him one day. He had left because it wasn't the right time to tell her friends yet. It's not like he could fool himself into thinking they would all be as happy about the idea as Dawn was.