Author: Shannon
Pairing: Willow/Spike (mentions Willow/Tara)
Rating: G
Disclaimer: BTVS belongs to Joss Whedon, UPN, FOX, and Mutant Enemy
Distribution: My site; http://www.geocities.com/angels_soul_1/shadesofgrey.html ; Fanfiction.net, anyone else that has my stuff can take this one too, anyone else just ask. Spoilers: Up to Gone I guess, but all pretty vague. Author's Notes: 1) This one is really short, I just don't do angst very well, I like happy stories so much more, but I couldn't see anyway at all to make this part happy. 2) This is kind of Tara's point of view though it is 3rd person.
Summary: Willow has to tell Tara about Spike.
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Tara watched the fly buzz around the discarded candy bar on the ground. Willow had called earlier today. She wanted to see her, she said it was important. She hadn't heard from Willow in a few weeks, she was glad she had called her they needed to talk. Things were different now, they could never go back to what they had before. She hoped Willow knew that too.
"Hey." Willow said from behind Tara.
"Hi." Tara said turning to face her.
Willow walked around the table and sat down across from her. She looked liked something was wrong, Tara thought. She didn't look happy to be here at all. Willow was the one that called her though.
"Is something wrong Willow?" Tara asked quietly.
"Um, well, No." Willow stuttered, "I mean not really , it kinda depends on your perspective I guess."
"What?" Tara asked confused.
"God Tara I don't know how to do this." Willow said quietly, "I so don't want to hurt you."
"Hurt me?" Tara asked, "Willow whatever it is just say it."
Both girls sat quietly for a moment neither wanting to speak. Finally Willow looked up and her eyes locked with Tara's. Tara shivered, knowing that whatever Willow had to say wasn't going to be good.
"IthinkI'minlovewithSpike." Willow said quickly dropping her eyes to stare at her hands.
"What?" Tara said not sure she heard the statement correctly, "Did you say you are in love with Spike?"
"Uh, well, yeah." Willow said tears forming in her eyes, "God Tara I'm sorry I don't know what."
Tara felt sweat begin to form on her face, she needed be not be here. She didn't want to do this now, not ever really. "I-I've g-got t-to go." She finally said jumping up from the table and running toward the campus.
"Tara I." She heard Willow say as she started to follow.
"Willow don't okay." Tara said turning around, "I need to be alone." ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Tara walked into her room still shocked. Willow loved Spike. That thought just wouldn't leave her mind. How could this happen. She had only left a few weeks ago, a few weeks and Willow had moved on to someone else.
Things were different now, she knew that, but she still loved Willow. But Willow didn't love her. She could've dealt with that, but she loved Spike. Spike was evil, Spike tried to kill her, but she sat there and said she loved him.
She walked over to the bookshelf and quickly found the book she was looking for. Maybe she could find a spell to make this all hurt less. That's what she needed a spell to make it better. Finding the appropriate spell she moved to a cabinet and quickly began searching for the needed herbs. As her hand wrapped around the bottle of sage she laughed quietly to herself. She was using magic to make her feel better. Isn't that why she left Willow to begin with, using magic for things that should be handled naturally.
"A spell won't make it better." A voice said from the doorway.
"Dawnie." Tara said turning to face the teen-ager.
"I know Willow told you." Dawn said quietly, "I'm sorry Tara."
"Thanks Dawn." Tara said as the girl moved into the room to hug her.
Tara finally let herself cry. She had hoped that things would work out with Willow, but now.
"Dawn is she." Tara started then took a deep breath, "Is she happy?"
"Yeah." Dawn said after a minute. "She is."
"I guess that's what matters right. That she's happy now." Tara said through the tears.
"For her yes." Dawn said quietly, "I just wish you could be happy too."
"I should be happy." Tara said softly, "For her."
"Tara." Willow said from the doorway.
"Willow." Tara said looking up at the girl in the doorway.
"I really didn't want to hurt you like this." Willow said softly, "But if you had found out."
"I'm glad you told me." Tara said, "It is better to find out from you. How did."
"Yeah. Um, well, magic." Willow said, "I kinda did this spell to find someone who loved me. And I expected you or maybe Oz to appear. But instead I ended up in Spike's crypt, and found out things and."
"He loves you?" Tara asked.
"Yes. He really does. And I love him." Willow said tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry that you're happy." Tara said, "I'll be fine. I just need time."
"Are you sure? You aren't going to repress like Xander are you?" Dawn asked.
"What?" Tara asked confused again.
"Xander found out about them and kinda repressed it." Dawn explained, "You guys really need to tell him now." She finished looking at Willow.
"I know but God when he's forced to deal with it, it isn't going to be pretty." Willow sighed.
"He'll be fine too, Sweetie. You should tell him." Tara said quietly.
"Soon." Willow said, "You sure you're okay?" She said nervously.
"I will be." Tara said again, "I just need some time."