Author: Shannon
Rating: G to PG
Pairing: Willow/Spike
Disclaimer: All BTVS and ATS characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox, UPN, and WB
Distribution: My site http://www.geocities.com/angels_soul_1/shadesofgrey.html ; http://fanfiction.net ; and anyone else that has my stories, anyone else just let me know.
Spoilers: To be safe I'll say anything in season 6 of Buffy, and season 3 of Angel, but mostly it's pretty vague.
Author's notes: 1) Takes place immediately after Expecting.
2) Giles never left, and Xander and Anya are still together, or back together (whichever you prefer) and Spike is still chipped.
3) This is for everyone who sent all the wonderful feedback for Expecting.
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~Part: One ~
Spike stood over the crib watching the sleeping baby. He had been walking for almost an hour trying to get her to sleep. She was certainly going to be a night person. She'd been sleeping for most of the day, then only an hour or so at a time at night. It had been that way all week.
A week. It had been a week since she was born. It didn't seem like that long. But it was. Everyone was going to be leaving tomorrow. Fred, Gunn, and Wesley had already left a couple days ago. Someone named Lorne had called and said that someone had to come back, a problem with Connor. They had decided Angel should stay, so should Cordiela because they knew everyone here the most. But tonight Angel and Cordiela were leaving too. The danger was gone, it had been before they left the hospital, but everyone had stayed to help with the baby.
Willow's mother had been over earlier today, telling them they shouldn't let the baby sleep during the day, and be up at night she was going to get days and nights confused or something. What she didn't know was that in this odd little family everyone seemed to be up at night.
Tomorrow night it would be just him, Willow, and Breanna on their own. No one would be here to help them. When she cried Angel and Cordiela weren't going to be around to help figure out why. He had never thought he would want those two around but now that they were leaving he was terrified. Odd how he had been looking so forward to this baby a couple weeks ago, when now the thought of being alone with her frightened him so much.
He wasn't sure he wanted someone depending on him like this. Sure Dru had depended on him, he had taken care of her. But it was different if he wasn't there Dru would still find a way to take care of herself. Willow kept saying she was depending on him too much, but she too could take care of herself if he didn't. Breanna, couldn't take care of herself, she needed someone to take care of her all the time.
"You'll be fine." Angel said from behind him. "You will be a good father Spike."
"Right." Spike said turning to face the older vampire. "You've spent most of my existence telling me how irresponsible I am. Now you're telling me I'll be fine having this little helpless life depending on me for everything."
"Frightening isn't it?" Angel said smiling, "But yeah. What I saw in the hospital last week and what I've seen all this week isn't the same person I've spent a hundred years thinking of irresponsible."
"Yes it is."
"The Spike I knew wouldn't not have passed up the opportunity to take on that man just to get the baby to safety." Angel said, "That Spike wouldn't have thought to build a wall so Willow could have a room separate from the baby. He wouldn't have had the patience to walk around this room for an hour to make a crying baby sleep."
"Yeah, okay I guess I have changed." Spike said, "Hungry?"
"Sure."
As the two vampires walked out of the nursery Spike stopped to peak into Willow's room, she had been sharing the room with Cordiela. Both were sleeping quietly, fortunately Breanna's crying had not disturbed them. Willow was getting up so early with the baby, she need the rest when she could get it.
When he had walked into the kitchen, Angel was already heating the blood. Jumping up on the counter he watched as the older vampire grabbed two mugs from the cupboard.
"So how did this all happen?" Angel asked.
"All what?" Spike asked taking the mug after Angel filled it.
"Willow, the baby?" Angel asked gesturing.
"Okay I know it's been a while Angel but."
"I know how that happened." Angel said, "How did you get involved in it?"
"She needed someone to be the father, at least as far as her parents were concerned." Spike explained, "She didn't want to tell them she had no idea where Oz even was."
"So you volunteered?" Angel asked raising an eyebrow.
"More like I was the only one without a good excuse not to." Spike said, "Harris has Anya, Giles is, well, old."
"You're much older than Giles." Angel pointed out.
"Don't look it though." Spike countered.
"Okay so then when did you fall in love with her?" Angel asked smiling when the younger vampire choked on the blood he had just taken a drink of.
"I-in love?" Spike stuttered.
"You love her Spike. It's so obvious, I don't know how the other's haven't seen it."
"Dawn knows." Spike said, "Well sort of. The other's are way to wrapped up in themselves to notice unless I started groping her in front of them. Well Giles I think just chooses to ignore most of what goes on."
"I think you're right on all counts actually." Angel said smiling. "Spike I do believe you're changing. So all I'm going to say about your relationship to Willow is be careful. She's been hurt a lot. And as self absorbed as her friends can be, they won't be kind if you hurt her."
"I know." Spike said, "Bloody hell, I don't even know if she feels the same way. I know she likes me. But she said she had too much to deal with last time we talked about it."
"Things change." Angel said.
"I hope you're right." Spike said hopping down from the counter as he heard the cry coming from the bedroom and grabbing a bottle before heading down the hall.
~Part: Two~
Willow stretched as she headed toward the living room. The baby wasn't in the crib, and Spike and Angel weren't in Spike's room so she assumed they were all in the living room. She stopped and smiled as she walked into the room. Spike and Angel were on opposite ends of the couch, both sleeping soundly. Spike had Breanna sprawled across his chest, one arm draped over her small body to hold her in place. There was an empty bottle on the couch between the two vampires.
"The three of them look so calm and peaceful when they're asleep don't they?" Cordiela said walking up behind her.
"Yeah. No one would ever guess how different they are when they're awake. All the crying and whining and pouting." Willow said walking toward the couch.
"And that's just Angel and Spike." Cordiela said following her and picking up the bottle as Willow reached for the baby.
"I heard that." Angel said without opening his eyes. "I don't whine."
"Sure you pout." Cordiela said. "And Spike covers the whining."
"Go to hell Cheerleader." Spike said opening his eyes when he felt Willow lift the baby.
"Why don't you two go to bed." Willow said wanting to stop the argument before it had a chance to start.
"You sure." Spike said sitting up.
"We're fine." Willow answered. "Get some sleep."
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Willow set the baby down gently in the crib, knowing she would probably sleep a couple hours before she wanted to be fed again. Cordiela and Angel were leaving tonight. After today they were going to have to take care of themselves. She didn't know if she was ready for that. Right now wasn't that bad. Breanna didn't require that much now, feed her, change her, and hold her. That's what made her happy now. But soon she would need more. She would want to do things. She needed to learn to walk, and talk and read, and.. She knew she was getting ahead of herself. That those things would happen when it was time. But she still worried about it.
And she worried about what would happen if Spike left. She couldn't take care of herself or the baby. She had no money. While her parents seemed to have accepted that she had a baby now, she didn't believe for a minute they would change their minds about helping her. She still had another semester of school to get her degree, until then she wouldn't be able to find a job that would pay enough to support a child.
Spike had said he wasn't going to leave. But he can't promise something like that. Certainly not if she couldn't even tell him how she felt about him. She did love him. She knew that, what she didn't know was if he loved her and if she was ready to add that kind of complication in her life.
She worried about the power Breanna had. It was a lot of power. If she wasn't sure of that before, because of the prophecy, she was now. She could feel the power in her daughter. She had always thought it was silly when Tara had claimed to sense her power, Rack had said the same thing. He could sense power in her, Ethan said he could sense it too. Now she understood what they were saying.
Willow wasn't sure how this power would affect Breanna. She wanted her daughter to have a normal life, as normal as it could be on the Hellmouth with a vampire father figure, anyway. She didn't want her daughter consumed by magic. She would like for her daughter to not even know about magic but she doubted that would be possible. She would have to talk to Giles soon, see what he knows about dealing with this kind of thing.
Pulling the small blanket over the baby, she kissed Breanna's cheek before heading out of the room to shower and get dressed before she needed to feed her again.
~Part: Three~
"Spike can you give Breanna a bath for me?" Willow said, "We're supposed to be at pediatrician in an hour and I still have to shower."
"Bath? Me?" Spike said looking up from the television.
"Yeah. Can you give the baby a bath?" Willow said again a little more slowly.
"B-but that means putting her in water and." Spike sputtered the whole idea seemed entirely too dangerous for his comfort.
"Uh-uh that's usually how one takes a bath." Willow said looking at the vampire.
"She could drown." Spike said nervously.
"Do you plan on letting her go?" Willow asked, "Spike it's like six inches of water at the most. It's not like I'm asking you to put her in the regular bathtub."
"But what if I make the water too hot?"
"You're scared." Willow said finally realizing the problem. "Spike you're not going to hurt her. She really is tougher than you think. But if it'll make you feel better I'll fill the tub for you."
"Red, it just." Spike began not knowing how to explain it to her. This was one of the things he had made a point of avoiding, actually he avoided anything that could put the baby in any real danger, feeding her, changing her, were things he could do. He couldn't really hurt her with those things, but bathing her, she could slip from his hands and drown.
"Spike you'll be fine okay." Willow said going to get the baby's bathtub to fill with water. "Just hold her head with one hand while you wash her with the other, it's not that hard."
"Fine. I'll do it." Spike said as she finished filling the tub with water. "But will you help me?"
"That kind of defeats the purpose of you doing it." Willow said, then handing him the baby. "You'll be fine." With that she walked out of the small nursery and headed for the bathroom.
"Your mum says we can do this." Spike said looking at the small baby staring up at him.
Setting the baby on the dressing table next to the bathtub he began unsnapping the small pajamas she had been wearing. After removing the clothing he removed the diaper and placed Breanna in the bathtub. Willow was right, he thought, this isn't that hard, she didn't put that much water in there, her face probably wouldn't even go under the water if she did slip.
"This isn't so hard is it?" He said softly as he reached for the washcloth and the baby soap. He began to gently wash the baby, who just stared up at him. Willow said she couldn't really see him from this far away. That baby's only have vision of a foot or two for a couple months. He preferred to think that she could see him, that she did recognize him.
He finished washing her and gently scooped water over her body rinsing the last of the soap from her before reaching for the towel Willow had left for him. Wrapping her in the hooded towel quickly so she wouldn't catch a chill he lifted her to his chest and held her closely as he rubbed her dry.
He walked over to the small dresser still holding the Breanna close to him. "What do you want to wear to see the doctor Pet?" Spike said pulling open a drawer. "Let's see do you have anything in here that doesn't have lace or small animals on it?"
Finally pulling out a pair of pink overalls and a white T-shirt he set her in the crib gently patting her stomach when she started to cry. "It'll just be a second." He said quietly.
Returning to the dressing table he set the outfit down and moved the tub, and soap from the table. He quickly pulled out a diaper and found a pair of pink socks and a white tennis shoes. Setting everything on the table he returned to pick up Breanna and bring her back to the table.
"See told you, you could do it." Willow said from the doorway.
"I know I was worried for nothing." Spike said as he dressed the baby.
"I know." Willow said smiling, "Just give me a minute to get dressed and I'll be back to help 'kay."
"We're fine, aren't we?" Spike said smiling at Breanna as he finished fastening the overalls and began putting the shoes on her.
"Right. Whatever." Willow said from behind the closed room of her door.
Spike picked up Breanna and walked toward the door. "Thanks again for getting the night appointment so I could go."
"No problem." Willow said pulling the door open as she tucked her T-shirt to her jeans. "Well actually it was. Try explaining to the receptionist why the baby's check-up had to be after sunset. She probably thinks we're insane."
Spike set the baby on the bed and laid down across the middle next to her as Willow grabbed a pair of shoes and socks and began pulling them on her feet. "Could have told her the truth." He said grinning as he gently tickled Breanna's belly.
"Right that would work." Willow said laughing, "Excuse me but could we have an evening appointment because Breanna's father is a vampire and will turn to a big pile of dust if he goes out during the day."
"We have to find some non-pink clothes for this baby." Spike said looking at the outfit he had chosen.
"She has non-pink clothes." Willow said standing up and picking up the baby. "Can you grab the diaper bag?"
"They have little animals on them." Spike said grabbing the bag as they headed out passing through the nursery.
"So you want to dress her in what. Black leather?" Willow said.
"Sure."
"No Spike." Willow said laughing, "Not gonna happen."
"Fine." He responded pulling the door closed behind them.
~Part: 4~
"I still think it's wrong." Spike said, "You should find a new doctor."
"Spike I already explained this to you." Willow responded patiently as she followed him into the Magic Box. "And I'm not finding a new doctor. I went to him, so did Xander. Dawn still goes to him."
"Yeah but Dawn's big enough to not let the doctor do that." Spike responded. "You saw how much she cried. He was hurting her."
"It only hurt for a." Willow began.
"I'm big enough to stop the doctor from doing what?" Dawn asked walking over to greet the couple.
"Spike's upset because the doctor took the baby's temperature." Willow explained as Dawn reached to take the baby from her.
"What's wrong with that?" Dawn asked as they moved into the shop.
"Do you know where they took it Pet?" Spike asked Dawn.
Dawn stopped walking for a minute turning to look at the vampire. Realizing what he was saying she smiled. "Well yeah, Spike. What did you think? He was going to put it under her tongue."
"I told you it's the only way Spike." Willow said, "Breanna's over it. So I think it's time you got over it too."
"Fine." Spike said then taking the sleeping infant from Dawn. "Don't you have homework?"
"Wow. He sounds like a dad already." Dawn said frowning at the vampire. "Fine I'll go do my homework." She grumbled at Spike's raised eyebrow.
"I need to talk to Giles okay." Willow said to Spike.
"No problem. I'll stay out here and help Dawn with her homework."
"Great." Dawn said glancing up from her book. "You know I'm not studying the history of Punk right?" ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
"Giles?" Willow said poking her head into the back room. "Do you have a minute?"
"Sure." Giles said turning from the various swords he had been cleaning.
Willow walked the rest of the way into the room and closed the door. Moving to sit on the bench against the far wall she hesitated a moment, not sure exactly how to approach this subject with Giles. He had enough to worry about without having to add her and Breanna to the list.
"Willow is something wrong?" Giles asked when she didn't speak right away. "You were taking the baby to the doctor nothing's."
"No. No. Breanna's fine. Well healthy at least." Willow said, "What I mean is Giles she has a lot of power. A lot."
"What do you mean power?" Giles asked sure he already knew the answer.
"Magical. I can feel it Giles. When I hold her. When I'm near her I feel the magic in her." Willow said quietly. "I don't want what happened to me to happen to her. I don't want her to lose control like that."
"Has she shown any signs of." Giles began then decided to rephrase, "Has she done anything?"
"God no!" Willow said, "She hasn't done anything. Are you saying she could? This young? Without knowing anything about it?"
"Well yes. If the power is that strong it's possible." Giles said softly, "Not likely but possible."
"What am I supposed to do? I can barely control my own magic now I have to control hers too." Willow said tears forming in her eyes.
"You can do this." Giles said, "She may not access the power until she's old enough to deal with it Willow. But one day you will have to deal with this. She'll have to know about magic. What happened to you doesn't have to happen to her."
"But it could." Willow said sadly.
"Yes it could." Giles answered he wasn't going to lie to the girl. She needed to hear the truth. "Willow we were all to blame for what happened to you. Every one of us at some point encouraged your magic. We depended on it a lot to defeat Glory. We depended on it even more when Buffy was gone. We won't let that happen with Breanna. It doesn't happen to everyone, you know that, Tara used magic, Anya does, so do I. There is no reason Breanna can't live a magic free life. Or use it occasionally if she wants without fear of addiction."
"I know but if she starts using it before she's old enough to understand." Willow said looking at the watcher hoping he would understand her fear.
"If you'd like I can see if there is anything that can.control her magic. until she's old enough to understand the consequences." Giles said trying to soothe Willow.
"Would you?" Willow said, "Is there something that can do that?" Willow asked hopefully.
"I don't know." Giles said honestly, "I can talk to Anya see if she knows of anything, if not we can do some research.
"Thank you." Willow said standing up and hugging Giles tightly. "I know that would probably be the best thing to do."
"I hope it is." Giles said quietly as he hugged the girl.
~Part: 5~
Spike stood watching Breanna sleep. She was finally sleeping more at night. Not the whole night but for longer periods. That wasn't really what he was thinking about though, his thoughts kept going to Willow. Angel had been right, he needed to tell Willow how he felt. Maybe she still didn't want a relationship with him. Maybe she had just been trying to be nice the last time, but he wouldn't know unless they talked about it.
Last time she had said she had too much to deal with, with being pregnant, and school, and that prophecy about Breanna. She didn't want to add a relationship to it too. But she wasn't pregnant anymore. She wasn't in school either, at least not now, he was hoping to convince her to go back and finish the last semester so she could graduate. The prophecy was still there, but didn't seem to be a danger right now. He loved her. He wanted to be with her. He decided that he would make her have this talk tonight whether she liked it or not. He would deal with her answer, whatever it was. ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Willow stood watching the bag in the microwave inflate as the popcorn popped. Spike was putting the baby to sleep. He seemed to be really good at that. Funny how all the books said baby's liked to be held to your chest because of the heartbeat, and that's why it was so effective in putting them to sleep. She could hold Breanna for hours and not get her to sleep. Spike would pick her up and carry her for a few minutes and she drifted off. She was still surprised at how much a part of her life Spike had become.
She had talked to Cordiela a lot in the week after Breanna was born about her feelings for Spike. Cordiela said she should just tell him. But Cordiela couldn't imagine what being insecure feels like. Willow didn't think the thought had ever crossed Cordy's mind that a man she liked may not feel the same way. On the other hand, she had talked to Dawn a lot in the couple months since Cordiela left. Dawn agreed with Cordy. But then what did Dawn know about it. She was sixteen.
Dawn did know Spike though. Probably better than anyone else did, except for maybe Angel. Dawn said Spike felt the same way. But what if Dawn was wrong. Willow loved Spike, yes, but did she really want to mess up the friendship they had developed by telling him that.
She pulled the bag out of the microwave and dumped it into a bowl, grabbing two cans of soda she headed for the living room. Spike should be picking a movie now. She just needed a little more time to be sure of his feelings before she said anything, she decided. ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
When Willow walked into the living room she saw Spike sitting on the couch staring at the dark television screen.
"Pick a movie already?" She asked setting the food down on the table and sitting down next to him.
"What?" Spike said pulled from his thoughts by her voice, "Oh, no sorry. Actually I think we need to talk first."
"About what?" Willow said confused.
"This." Spike said, "Us."
"What about us Spike." Willow said still not sure what was on his mind. "Is there a problem?"
"Yes." Spike said, "No. Not like you mean anyway." Spike hesitated before continuing. He knew they needed to talk about this. He had to know how she felt. The last thing he wanted was for this to end up like the mess with Buffy did. If Willow didn't love him. Or didn't think she could love him. He wanted to know now. He didn't want to get any deeper into this if she would end up leaving him.
"Then what do you mean." Willow asked slightly angry. She couldn't think of anything she'd done to cause a problem. They'd been getting along great since she moved in here. He was quickly becoming her best friend. Why would he think there's a problem. "I don't understand what's going on."
"Willow, remember when we talked about us. Before while you were still pregnant?" He waited for her nod. "You said that maybe after the baby was born you would." Spike stopped not sure what he wanted to say. "Bloody hell, I'm already making a fool of myself so I'm just going to say it. Willow I love you."
Willow sat staring at the vampire. She didn't say anything, just sat looking at him. She hadn't expected this to be the talk he wanted to have. She thought, she didn't know what she thought. She certainly didn't think Spike would say he loved her. Hell she didn't think he did love her. She knew they were friends, she knew he loved Breanna. But she never thought he loved her.
"You know what forget I said anything. I'm not going through this again." Spike said standing up and storming into his bedroom, pulling Willow out of her thoughts.
Standing up she followed the path Spike had taken to his room. Glancing at the closed the door she first went to the nursery to be sure Breanna was still sleeping. Pulling the baby's door closed gently she crossed the hall to Spike's room. Knocking softly she waited for a reply. When none came she opened the door and poked her head in.
"Spike?" She said quietly.
"Generally when you don't receive a reply after knocking you shouldn't come in." Spike said from his bed.
"Yeah well what can I say. I'm a rebel." Willow said entering the room and closing the door.
"I don't want to talk anymore." Spike said.
"Too bad I do." Willow responded still standing at the door.
"I think you made yourself clear Red." Spike said. "I'm not interested in another one-sided relationship. Been there done that."
"Who said it was one sided." Willow said, "I certainly didn't. You left before I said anything."
"Right. Like I couldn't see the disgust on your face."
"Disgust. Spike." Willow said moving to sit next to the vampire laying on the bed. "Spike, I am not disgusted by you. Not at all. I was surprised, when you said you wanted to talk. I thought something was wrong. When you said you loved me I."
"Wanted to run and hide." Spike suggested still not looking at her.
"No that's what you did." Willow snapped. "Spike I do love you. I just thought that you would never feel. I was surprised when you felt the same way."
"Did you say." Spike began sitting up and facing Willow. "You love me."
Willow smiled and nodded. Leaning forward Spike reached for her and pulled her closer to him. Kissing her gently as he pulled her onto his lap. "You really love me?" Willow asked pulling away from the kiss.
This time it was Spike's turn to nod before claiming her lips in another kiss. Pulling away again Willow looked at Spike. "Promise me something Spike. Never assume I'm like Buffy okay."
"Like Buffy?" Spike said confused, "I didn't."
"Yes you did." Willow said, "Buffy hurt you. I know that. She used you. She knew how you felt and took advantage of that. Buffy's my best friend. I love her very much. But I'm not her. Because she was ashamed of you, you assumed I would be too."
"No I." Spike began then, "All right I did. I'm sorry."
"Fine then can we go watch that movie now?" Willow said standing up.
"I can think of other things I'd rather do." Spike said smiling at reaching for the red head.
"Movie, Spike." Willow said pulling away from his grasp. "You promised me a movie."
"All right. But later."
"Assuming Breanna is asleep later. And we aren't maybe." Willow said, "Wouldn't want you to think I'm easy." She finished as she walked out of the room.
"Never." He said following closely behind her.
~Part: 6~
Willow opened her eyes slowly, frowning at the sound of the crying that a woke her. Glancing at the clock she sighed and decided she might as well just get up. When she tried to move the arm slung over her waist tightened. Smiling she reached and tried to move the arm holding her in place.
"Spike let me up." She said when the arm wouldn't budge.
"Uh uh. Like you here." He responded with out opening his eyes.
"Me too. But I don't think the crying will stop unless one of us gets up." Willow said turning to face the vampire.
"Fine. But you're coming back right?"
"Actually it's almost eight so I figured I'd stay up." Willow said kissing him, "Anyway Breanna's gonna be up for a while."
"All right." He conceded. "If it's for Breanna. Want me to get up too?"
"No, you sleep. No need for both of us to be awake and tired." She said slipping out of the bed and making her way to the door.
"Good point." Spike said drifting back to sleep. ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
"Mornin' Sweetie." Willow said as she approached the crying baby.
Lifting Breanna out of the crib Willow carried her to the changing table. As she changed the baby's diaper her mind went over the last couple days. Spike loved her. She loved him. Everything was so much better now, with neither of them hiding their feelings. Of course other than Dawn, no one knew anything about this, which could be a problem. She didn't think Xander was going to take it well at all. And she was sure Buffy wouldn't. They would all have to be told though. She had no intention of hiding her feelings.
"We're proud to love your daddy right Breanna." Willow said as she finished snapping the pajama's closed and picked her to head to the kitchen for breakfast. "Aunt Buffy and Uncle Xander may not see this quite as positively as we do though."
Grabbing the bouncing seat that one of her friends had given her Willow went into the kitchen. After strapping the safety belts around Breanna she began to prepare the infant cereal. Willow finished mixing the cereal and set it aside while she made a bottle. She carried the two items into the living room placing them on the table next to the couch, she returned to the kitchen to bring the baby and the seat into the living room.
Spike walked into the living room and stood quietly watching Willow feeding Breanna for a few minutes before speaking. "Don't see how she can eat that stuff, it smells awful." He said approaching the couch.
"Right, I'll be sure to look for baby Frosted Flakes at the grocery store." Willow said without looking up. "I thought you were going to sleep."
"Changed my mind." Spike said simply. "You want breakfast?"
"You cooking?" Willow asked.
"Depends what you want."
"Bagel and yogurt would be great." Willow said turning to smile at the vampire.
"That I can handle." He said and headed to the kitchen.
After finishing with the cereal Willow picked Breanna up and offered the bottle to the infant. She took the bottle for a moment the turned her head away. Willow tried again to offer the bottle, Breanna turned her head again. The third time She offered the bottle, the bottle flew from her hand dropping to the floor beside the couch. ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Spike was finishing spreading cream cheese on a bagel when he heard the scream from the living room. Dropping the knife he ran to the other room. Seeing Willow holding Breanna close to her and staring at the floor, Spike made his way cautiously to the witch's side. Not seeing anything to merit a scream he decided he needed to ask.
"What's wrong Luv?"
"The bottle." Willow said nervously.
"What about it?" Spike confused as to what a bottle could have done.
"Breanna she didn't want it." Willow said looking at the vampire hoping he understood.
"So."
"So she uh, she made it fall." Willow said quietly.
"What do you mean?" Spike asked.
"I tried to give it to her and she. she." Willow said not sure how to explain.
"Magic?" Spike asked.
"I-I think so." Willow said nervously.
"How, she can't know any."
"I-I, Spike I could feel her power from the first time I held her. I talked to Giles and he said it was unlikely but she could exhibit magical abilities at this age." Willow said, "He was going to try to find something to stop it from happening. To bind her powers until she was old enough to understand."
"Why didn't you tell me about this before?" Spike asked slightly angry that she hadn't mentioned something so important.
"I kind of hoped it wouldn't happen. That we could deal with this later when she was older."
"Well obviously that plan is gone. I'll call Giles. Why don't you get ready because we are either going to have to go there or they'll have to come here. Either way you need clothes." Spike said.
"Okay. Spike I'm sorry I should have told you before." Willow said setting the baby back in her seat before heading to the bedroom.
"It's okay. Just next time something happens tell me right away 'kay." Spike said picking up the phone.
~Part: 7~
"Don't you have something more productive to do than sitting there like that?" Buffy asked sitting down across from Spike who was rocking the baby's car seat with his foot while he looked at a magazine.
"No." Spike answered without looking up from his article.
"Don't you think you could be helping Willow with the food?" Buffy asked.
"If I stop rocking she's cries." Spike said gesturing toward the half- asleep baby. "If you're worried about Red you could help her."
"I'm the guest. And Breanna's asleep." Buffy said huffily.
"Fine." Spike said and stopped rocking moving his foot from the seat. The second the rocking stopped the baby began to whine in her sleep.
"Fine then I'll rock her. How hard can it be to rock that thing with my foot." Buffy said moving to sit next to Spike on the couch.
"Won't work. That's why I'm in here instead of Red." Spike said picking his magazine back up as he began rocking again.
"Right 'cause at what two months old she can tell the difference." Buffy said putting her foot next to Spike's and began picking up the rhythm of the rocking. "Now move your foot."
Spike lifted his foot slowly and before it hit the floor next to the carrier Breanna was crying. Spike looked at Buffy and smirked.
"Spike did you stop rocking her?" Willow called from the kitchen.
"The slayer made me." Spike answered giving Buffy another smirk.
"This is ridiculous." Buffy said standing up as Spike started rocking the baby again and the crying stopped. "I'm going to help Willow."
"Great idea." Spike said reaching down to pick up Breanna. "And I'll change her before everyone else gets here." !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Spike walked into the living room, after putting the baby in her crib. It had taken longer than usual to get her to sleep tonight. Everyone had already finished eating by the time he returned to the room.
"She finally asleep?" Willow asked.
"Yeah. I don't think she feels well Luv." Spike said.
"I know I'll call the doctor in the morning." Willow said, "But now that everyone is here, have you found anything for." She began turning to Giles.
"Not yet. But Willow what you described isn't that bad. It's not magic. I don't think she has the ability to use actual magic yet. What happened today seemed like harmless telekinesis."
'Harmless telekinesis?" Xander said looking at the watcher. "Have you never seen Carrie?"
"I doubt she'll be setting town's on fire anytime soon." Giles responded. "We're looking. I just don't think Willow needs to be overly concerned just yet."
"That's right. So she's moving things. It only happened once right?" Anya said, "Maybe it was a fluke and will never happen again."
"I just don't want anyone to be hurt." Willow said nervously.
"I don't believe that's a worry right now." Giles said, "Unfortunately there aren't a lot of cases of wanting to stop someone's magic."
"That's right. If you wanted to increase her magic, that would be easy." Anya said.
"Gee thanks An." Willow said.
"She's right Willow. While we were looking today I must have found a dozen spells to increase magic." Xander defended.
"We'll watch her Luv." Spike said moving to sit beside Willow and wrapping his arm around her shoulder, "And the Watcher will keep looking for something."
"That's right." Buffy said, "We'll all keep looking. And hey why are you touching her?"
"Jealous Slayer?" Spike asked turning to face Buffy.
"In your dreams." Buffy said angrily. "But you have no right to."
"Yes he does Buffy." Willow interjected.
"What?" Buffy and Xander replied simultaneously.
"Anya why don't we get more drinks for everyone?" Dawn said standing up.
"I don't think anyone needs."
"Just come with me." Dawn said grabbing Anya's arm and pulling her toward the kitchen.
"What the hell do you mean he can touch you like."
"It's none of your business what we do Slayer." Spike said interrupting.
"Like hell it's not." Buffy answered.
"You two need to stop now." Willow said moving between the angry vampire and the Slayer.
"I think I'll go and help." Giles began standing up.
"No stay. I don't want to say this more than once." Willow said, "Now all of you sit and listen. I really don't think I should have to explain myself to you. Spike either for that matter. But I also am not ashamed, so I'm just going to get this all out now."
"Willow you don't have to." Spike began.
"Yes I do." Willow said smiling at Spike. "I told you I wasn't ashamed and I'm not. I love Spike, he loves me. I know none of you want to hear that but it's true."
"Willow how could you he's." Xander began.
"He's a vampire." Willow said, "I'm aware of that. But you guys know what. I've had to deal with your relationship choices so now you just need to deal with mine."
"What do you mean my relationship choices?" Xander asked.
"Anya was a demon Xander. And do you even want me to start about the Cordiela thing." Willow said angrily, then turned to Buffy. "And before you start, When Angel came back from hell did I get angry that you were dating the vampire that tried to kill me, and tortured Giles? Did I say anything about Riley, even after we found out about the Initiative and he helped to capture and almost kill Oz? No because who you two choose to love is your business not mine. I expect the same respect."
"Willow he." Buffy began. "He tried to kill you more than once."
"That was a long time ago. And if I can get over it shouldn't you." Willow said. ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
"Why did you drag me in here if we aren't getting drinks?" Anya asked as Dawn stood just inside the doorway listening to the argument in the other room.
"Hush. I can't here when you talk." Dawn said.
"Then tell me what's going on."
"Fine." Dawn said. "Spike and Willow are in love. I think they finally managed to admit it to each other."
"In love." Anya said, "Well of course. They have been for a while now."
"You knew?"
"Of course. It's so obvious." Anya said.
"So why didn't Xander know. Or Buffy if it's so obvious?" Dawn asked even though she did agree with the ex-demon.
"They don't see anything they don't want to see."
"The yelling stopped. Think it's safe to go back?" Dawn asked.
"Anya are you ready to go?" Xander shouted from the living room.
"Guess things didn't go well." Anya said on her way out of the room. "Sure let me get my coat."
"Dawn you too." Buffy said coming toward the kitchen.
"Coming Buffy." Dawn answered.
Willow walked into the kitchen as Dawn was setting the last of the dishes into the sink.
"Didn't go well?" Dawn asked.
"Not really." Willow said, "They'll get over it though. Giles seems fine with it."
"Dawn!" Buffy voice drifted into the kitchen again.
"Go. Call me tomorrow and we'll talk okay." Willow said hugging the younger girl.
"Tell Spike I said good-bye." Dawn said, "Don't worry Buffy can't stay mad at you for long."
"Bye Sweetie." Willow said hugging her again as she left the kitchen.
~Part: 8~
"How long do you plan on staying mad at Willow?" Dawn asked sitting down next to Buffy on the couch.
'She's sleeping with Spike." Buffy said simply, "And I don't want to talk about this with you."
"Don't care." Dawn said facing her sister. "You slept with Spike too. But that's really your problem isn't it. You know Spike won't hurt her. He's not that evil anymore. You just don't like that he stopped loving you and moved on."
"That's ridiculous Dawn. I told him too." Buffy said still not facing her sister.
"Great and he did what you said, so what's the problem. You haven't talked to Willow, your best friend in a week." Dawn said angrily.
"Dawn you don't understand."
"Then explain. Because what I see is that Willow and Spike love each other a lot." Dawn said, "And that you and Xander are acting like spoiled children. You two are always willing to use Spike and have him around when it suits you. If I need to be protected or you need help patrolling or Willow needs a pretend daddy for her baby then he's fine to have around. But how dare he actually care about one of us."
"Dawn the things he did." Buffy began.
"I know he's done really stupid things." Dawn said, "But he's sorry. He's more than made up for them don't you think? Will's done stupid things too. You forgave her."
"Dawn he." Buffy began again.
"Buffy you guys need to get over yourselves and deal with it. Willow and Spike love each other. You can't change it. Do you really want to lose your best friend because of it. It's not like you have to like Spike. Hell you don't even have to pretend too. Everyone is aware of how you and Xander feel about Spike." Dawn said, "I think Spike enjoys fighting with you anyway. So just deal and call her." ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
"Why don't you call her?" Anya asked looking at Xander sitting at the magic box table. "You miss her."
"I'm not calling her."
"Why because of Spike." Anya asked, "If he makes her happy why does it make you so angry. She didn't like me, but she dealt with it because I made you happy."
"He's an evil soulless vampire." Xander answered.
"I was an evil soulless demon."
"You have a soul now."
"But I don't regret anything I did before Xander." Anya stated, "Isn't that supposed to be what the difference is. Angel's okay because he has a soul and regrets what he did before. Well I have a soul and don't regret a damn thing. Does that mean I'm not worthy to be loved."
"No." Xander said getting up and walking over to Anya. "It's different. Spike."
"This really doesn't have anything to do with Spike. It's all about whether you love Willow enough to deal with her decisions."
"I do but."
"Then call her." !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Willow walked into the bedroom and stood quietly in the doorway watching the scene before her. Spike was laying across the bottom of the bed, his back to her. He had Breanna on the bed in front of him, surrounded by toys. He kept picking them up one after the other and offering them to her.
"Come on, pet. Don't you want to play with this little doggie?" Spike asked wiggling a small stuffed dog in front of her.
Breanna just continued to stare at him.
"Okay then how about the purple dinosaur thing." Spike offered squeezing the hand of the offered toy making the I Love You song start to play.
"His name is Barney." Willow said walking into the room giggling at the sight of the vampire playing with the toy. "And I told you she's too young for this stuff."
"Is not." Spike said, "She's smart. She needs challenges."
"It's not intelligence Spike, its motor function."
Willow laid down across from the vampire, with the baby between them, pushing toys out of the way to make room. "So tell me did you leave any baby toys at the store."
"She needs toys to grow." Spike argued. "I want her to have everything."
"That's so sweet Spike. It really is. But too much will just make her spoiled."
"No more toys for a while." Spike said sadly.
"No more toys." Willow said, "let her learn to use these first 'kay."
"Fine." Spike said then tickling the baby who had rolled onto her back, "Your mum says no more toys. Told you she was a mean mum."
"Hey." Willow said stretching to hit the vampire's chest. "I'm not mean."
"Crabby though." Spike said still playing with Breanna.
"Am not."
"Have been since last week Luv." Spike answered. "Why don't you call them?"
"They have to come to terms with this Spike." Willow said, "They'll call when they have. I mean It's not like I don't talk to anyone. Dawn calls, So does Giles, and amazingly even Anya."
"But Buffy and Xander?" Spike asked.
"Still dealing according to Dawn." Willow said sadly, "They'll call when they're ready."
"If you say so." Spike said, then looking down at the baby, "And you need to be changed." He said picking her up, kissing Willow on the cheek and heading out of the room.
~Part: Nine~
"Willow."
"Buffy?" Willow said trying to balance the phone on her shoulder and hold the bottle and the baby.
"Yeah. Um, I'm sorry." Buffy blurted out.
"So am I Buffy. I mean I could have found a better way to tell you guys." Willow said as she rocked slowly.
"No Will it was my fault. I shouldn't have been so angry. If you love him. I guess I'll have to deal with that. Dawn is right. My not liking Spike can't end our friendship."
"I'm glad Buffy. I don't want to lose you guys. But I also don't plan on hiding my relationship with Spike. I love him. He loves me."
"I can deal with that as long as I don't have to be nice to him."
"Of course not. Would either of you know what to do if you were nice to each other?"
"Guess not." Buffy said, "Oh wait Xander wants to talk to you too."
"Hi Will." Xander said still not sure he was ready to deal with this.
"You okay with this too now Xander?" Willow asked.
"I guess. Won't be nice to him either though." Xander answered.
"Wouldn't expect you too." Willow said as Breanna finished the bottle and started to fuss. "I'm sorry guys but I, uh, gotta go."
"Talk to you later then." Xander said.
"Yeah. Later." Willow said hanging up the phone.
"Everything is getting better Sweetie." Willow said setting the bottle on the table and raising Breanna onto her shoulder as she began patting her back and walking toward the bedrooms. ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Spike had been listening to Willow's side of the conversation from the bedroom. It looked like her friends finally came around. He hated seeing her so upset, it took them long enough of decide to deal with it. Two weeks, it wasn't like they even believed he would hurt her, they just didn't like him.
"Hey. Who was on the phone?" Spike asked walking into the nursery just as Willow finished putting Breanna down for her nap.
"Shh." She said before moving away from the crib and pulling him out of the room. After closing the door she turned to hug him. "Buffy and Xander. They're dealing."
"That's great." He said pulling her closer to him.
"They still don't like you but they're dealing."
"They'll never like me." Spike stated simply.
"I can hope." Willow said kissing him.
"Giles called earlier too. He said he contacted Wesley about Breanna and they're looking into it too." Willow said.
"That's great Luv." Spike answered, "Maybe they'll find something soon."
"I know, but I'm beginning to think that maybe I just imagined it all. I mean it hasn't happened again." Willow said.
"It's up to you Luv. If you don't want to do anything then we won't. We can deal with it later if that makes you feel better."
"I don't know." Willow said, "I guess I'll just decide when they have something."
"If that's what you want." Spike said, "Now how about watching television. Isn't Charmed on tonight?"
"You know I hate that show Spike." Willow said, "Really can't they fight demons wearing a little more clothing. And don't get me started on how they portray witches."
"Come on Red. The show's funny." Spike answered pulling her with him.
"Is not. You just like to watch those girls fighting half naked." Willow said as he pulled her down into his lap on the couch.
"Well there is that too." He said kissing her as he turned on the television.
~Part: Ten~
Spike walked in to the apartment, not seeing Willow, he called out to her. They needed to talk, time was running out if she was going to do this. He had brought it up before and she didn't want to talk about it, but she didn't have time to put it off anymore. He knew if she didn't do this now she never would.
"I'm in back here." Willow answered. "Be right out."
Spike set the book on the table and wandered into the kitchen. He pulled a bag of blood out of the fridge and put it into the microwave. Grabbing a mug he emptied the warmed blood into it and headed back to the living room to wait for Willow.
"Finally asleep." Willow said sitting down on the couch next to Spike turning so she was leaning against him with her feet propped on the arm of couch.
"We need to talk Pet." Spike said wrapping his arms around her.
"'bout what?" Willow said relaxing into the embrace.
"School."
"She's only three months Spike. I think we have time." She said turning to kiss the vampire.
"Not Breanna. You." Spike said.
"Spike, I don't think."
"I know you don't want to talk about it." Spike said turning her to face him. "You never do."
"Spike I have Breanna to take care of."
"I can take care of her while you're at school." He said raising his hand when she started to object. "I'll be fine with her. You have one semester left to get you're degree."
"So I can take the classes later."
"Maybe but we both know it's unlikely." Spike responded, "The longer you wait the harder it'll be."
"I know but."
"You only have a few more days to register." Spike said handing her the book. "And you are going to register. Even if I have to get the Slayer here to drag you down there."
"All right. If you're sure that you can do this. I mean Spike, I'll be gone everyday. You're going to have to take care of her yourself."
"It's only a few hours a day Red."
"Yeah, but." Willow began, "Oh and studying. I'm going to have to study. You'll have to watch her then too."
"I can handle it."
"If you're sure." Willow said hesitantly.
"I'm sure." Spike answered, "Now let's pick your classes." ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Spike walked into the nursery, he knew Willow kept telling him to let her cry. That he was going to spoil her and make her expect to get what she wanted, when she wanted it all the time. He couldn't understand the problem. Breanna should get what she wants. She should expect it.
"What's wrong Pet?" Spike asked approaching the crib.
Backing up slightly Spike stared down at the baby in the crib. She was laying on her back like, he assumed, Willow had left her. The difference was that a small rattle that he had left in the crib earlier in the day was floating just above her reach, shaking slightly. Breanna was smiling up at the object cooing her approval.
"What the hell?" Spike said grabbing the rattle and moving it to the changing table. Turning back to the once again crying baby, he picked her up. Holding her in front of him, "Okay, Luv, you need to learn there is no magic in this house. It's not good for your mum. She worries about you, so no more magic got it?"
She cooed again and reached a hand out to grab at Spike's nose. "Okay none of that now. So then we're all clear on the magic thing." Moving her to hold her against his chest looking over his shoulder.
She again began cooing. This time Spike heard a sound behind him. Turning toward the noise, he saw the rattle once again raising into the air. Grabbing it again and setting it down. "Now you really need to stop that Breanna."
"Stop What?" Willow said walking into the room.
"Yeah, uh, Red, how's the watcher coming along with that spell?"
"She's doing it again?" Willow asked worriedly.
"Yeah, toys this time." Spike said.
"I'll call him. See if he's found anything." Willow said. "Figures nothing normal could possibly could happen to us. Not even a baby."
"It'll be fine." Spike said, "She's making toys move. Hardly messing with dark magiks."
"I know. But I used to make toys dance too."
"It'll be fine." Spike promised again as he turned to change the baby's diaper.