"I really don’t know where to begin. Things just happened. Life. Death. Love. Hate. Things left. Things came. We were just so different. Opposites, in fact. People change though. Life changes," I paused, "oh, I’m sorry. I’m getting off the subject. What did you want to know, again?"
"Your story, miss."
"Oh yes, of course…" I sighed, "my story. It’s quite a long one, I’m afraid. Well, I guess it all started when I was a freshman in college, " I paused, "I guess that would have been in the year 2000…"
*****
"Willow, you are coming to the party tonight, right?" Buffy asked me.
"I dunno, I was gonna go to Tara’s…"
"Oh, yeah, the ‘talk’. How are you gonna tell her, anyway?" Buffy asked while pinning her hair up.
"What CAN I say? Umm… Sorry to break your heart, but I really DON’T swing that way," I sighed, "She’s going to be so crushed."
"I’m sure she’ll understand."
"I hope so."
"Well, at least try and swing by the party later. Maybe it’ll cheer you up. Besides, there’ll be some major hottties there," Buffy said with a smile.
I smiled back. "Thanks, but no thanks. The word ‘single’ is sounding very tempting at the moment. What I can’t believe is that Giles is letting use his place for the party tonight."
"Me neither," she giggled, "but you don’t see me complaining. Well,
I gotta go. See you later, right?"
"I’ll try and stop by," I promised.
*****
The noise was deafening.
"Willow, buddy, whuz up?" Xander asked me as he walked up to me, "how’d the breakup go?"
"As good as it could go, I guess," I said with a strained smile.
"Well, you know I’m always here if you need me…"
"XANDER?!" Anya yelled from across the room.
"Gotta go," he said and ran off.
Here for me my ass. He was so whipped it made me sick. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. I just wanted the noise to stop…
"Tough day?" someone asked. I opened my eyes to find a good looking guy standing next to me. Dark hair. Tall. Nice body.
"I’m Richard."
"Willow… is me," I managed to get out.
"Care for a drink?" he asked, offering me one of the two cups he was holding.
"I really shouldn’t."
"Aww… come on," he flashed me a grin, "for me?"
"Oh, what the hell," I said, taking one of the cups.
I can’t tell you how many more cups I accepted from him that night. More than enough, I can tell you that much. It wasn’t long until I was drunk silly.
"Rishard," I giggled, while bouncing on his lap, "you’re shuch a cute one."
"Thanks baby," he said huskily, moving his hand on my ass, "I’ve got a surprise for you."
"Ooh, surprise…"
"Come with me, baby." He led me into Giles’s empty bedroom and sat down on the bed. He pulled me into his lap.
"Surprise," he said. He dragged his lips over mine in a seductive pattern, savoring every moment. It felt nice. It was great to be with a man again. His hand moved under my shirt and began to unbutton it.
"Wait…" I said, pushing away from him.
"Come on, baby," he said, running his hand up the inside of my leg.
"NO," I said, slapping his hand away.
"Come on, hon… I want you bad."
"I don’t care. Let me go," I said, standing up.
"No," he said pulling me back into his lap, " I want you, and I always get what I want." He ripped my shirt from my body, the buttons flying everywhere. He rolled us over, him being on top of me. I struggled. I fought him, but he was too strong. I wanted to scream. I couldn’t find my voice, though. His weight was unbearable. I couldn’t breathe. I had to scream. I needed to. Someone would hear me, right? Scream Willow. Scream! Finally I did. Loud. He slapped me.
"BITCH! Shut your mouth! You know you want me."
"From the looks of it, it doesn’t appear that she does, mate," a voice said from the doorway. Richard turned his head.
"Get the fuck out! This isn’t any of your damn business," Richard yelled.
"After you, mate," the guy said, waving his hand toward the door.
"You’re crazy," Richard spat out.
"I suggest you leave," the man said in a deadly voice, coming closer to Richard.
Richard shrugged, "You can just watch then." Richard slid his hand under my skirt.
"I don’t think so, mate," the guy said, grabbing Richard by the back of the neck and throwing him off of me.
"HEY MAN!" Richard yelled.
"Wanna go a round?" the guy asked, picking Richard up by the throat.
"N…n…no, that’s okay."
The guy dropped Richard. Richard ran out of the room.
"You alright, Red?" the guy asked, coming closer to me.
I couldn’t answer him. I don’t know why. I guess the words just wouldn’t come. I just felt so… dirty. I could just feel Richard all over me. On my hands, on my face, in places I didn’t want to feel him. My head just kept spinning and I couldn’t get that awful feeling out of the pit of my stomach. I just kept feeling Richard touching me.
And then he was touching my shoulder again… Everything went black.
"WILLOW?!"
I opened my eyes to find a worried Spike hovering above me. He had his leather jacket on, but no shirt.
"What happened?" I asked him weakly.
"You fainted."
"Oh… sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Everything was just so… intense I guess."
"I understand. Willow, I think you should go home. Maybe take a shower and get some rest," he said sympathetically.
I smiled at him, "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." I paused for a moment, "Spike?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you do me a favor and not mention this situation to anyone? I’m not in the mood for fake sympathy from Buffy or Xander at the moment…"
"Sure thing, pet," he said with a smile.
He held his hand out to me, "Let me walk home? You never know what lurks in the dark…"
I took his hand and stood up. "Oh… so *you’re* gonna be my protection?" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm, "might I remind you that *you* used to lurk in the dark?"
"True," he grinned, "but people change." He led me out of the room into the noise.
"People indeed," I said under my breath.
We pushed our way through the massive crowd, out the door, and into the night air.
"Whew, one could barely barely breathe in there," he said.
"One doesn’t *need* to breathe."
He laughed, "You think I’d learn after all these years…"
We walked in silence for a couple of minutes.
"So tell me Red… what were you running from?" he asked, keeping his eyes straight ahead.
"Excuse me?"
"Well, I know you’re not a drinker, and the smell of alcohol is all over you," he looked at me, "and that guy you were with wasn’t exactly your type…"
"And what exactly is my type, since you obviously know me *so* well?" I asked him, annoyance sounding in my voice.
He turned his head forward again.
"I don’t bloody know, but not him."
We walked some more in silence. We approached the courtyard in front of my dorm.
"Love," I said softly.
"What was that, Pet?"
"Love," I said again.
"What about it?" he asked.
"That’s what I was running from."
I sat down on one of the many benches in front of the dorm.
I patted the spot next to me and he sat down. I turned toward him.
"I love him."
"The bloke tonight?" he asked with disgust.
"NO! Of course not."
"Who then?"
"Oz."
"The wolf?" he asked, knowing who he was.
"Yeah."
"Why aren’t you with him then?"
"He left me," I started.
"Fool," he muttered under his breath.
"He needed to find himself," I continued, "he did, and he came back. He wanted me back, but I just couldn’t go through the pain anymore. So, I rejected him, and turned toward the only person who loved me at that moment: Tara."
"What happened with her?" he asked interested.
"I realized that I really wasn’t attracted to women…"
"Well, I could have told you that, Pet," he said, flashing me a grin.
"Huh?"
"I could have told you that you really weren’t attracted to her."
"How could you tell?" I asked interested.
He shrugged.
"Dunno, but I could just tell."
"Well, like I said- I realized that, so I broke up with her tonight. Richard, the guy tonight, offered me a drink and it just seemed so appealing and so did he… until he started going a little too far…"
"Any decent guy wouldn’t have done anything with all that alcohol in your blood," he said.
"I can’t believe this…"
"What?"
"I’m getting the ‘decent guy’ lecture from a vampire, how pathetic am I?"
"Not at all," he said jumping up.
We walked up to my room and stopped in front of the door. He turned toward me.
"Well, if you ever need a ‘decent guy’ to talk to, you know where to find me…" he said with a grin.
I smiled. He took my hand and kissed it. "Goodnight, Lady Willow."
I could feel myself blushing. "Goodnight, Spike."
I watched him walk down the hall and turn from sight. Once inside my room, I shut the door behind me. I just happened to look down. What I saw made me laugh. My shirt was different. It was Spike’s. <That explains why he wasn’t wearing a shirt.>
"What a decent guy," I said aloud and smiled to myself.