by Shiva
 
 

I don't know how long I stood there crying in his arms. When I finally
stopped I looked up at him, what I saw surprised me. He had been crying. He
smiled, blinking blood red tears away, and kissed me on the forehead. I
blushed slightly at his gesture. <This is Spike, girl! You just spent your
time crying with SPIKE! This is majorly weird…>

He took my hand and pulled me away from the beach, "Come on, luv. Time to
go."

We put our shoes back on and walked back toward the restaurant in silence.
The valet brought the car to the front. Spike handed him some bills,
"Thanks, mate."

We drove back to Sunnydale in silence, neither of us looking at each other,
afraid of what would happen. I mean, who knew what would happen now… We had
just been *crying*. I remember reading somewhere that crying with someone
was one of the most intimate things you could do. And the fact that I had
just done something intimate with Spike really scared me. I mean, I didn't
even know that a vampire without a soul could possess feelings other than
hate that strong. But I'd always known that Spike was different. I mean, he
had stayed loyal to Drusilla forever and it was obvious that he truly loved
her.

I remember when I saw how much he loved her, I did some research and found
soulless vampires rarely felt the emotion of love. And *I* had just seen a
spark of that emotion. It was like he had just told me a deep secret.

The thought of him crying baffled me. <Is it because he feels sorry for me?
Does he miss Drusilla? Does he care for me?> I honestly could not figure it
out.

"Luv?" Spike asked breaking my train of thought.

"Yeah?" I looked at him.

He grinned at me, "We're here," he said, cocking his head in direction of the
campus.

"Oh," I said, smiling at him.

He got out and opened my door for me. He walked me up to my door. I looked
at him to find him shifting his weight from foot to foot. I smiled at the
obvious discomfort. I pushed open my door.

"Come on in, Spike," I said, waving him in. He walked in and looked around
uneasily.

The phrase 'now what' ran through my mind.

"Now what?" he asked me, reading my thoughts.

I looked down at the ground, "I honestly don't know."

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked, looking at me.

"No!" I said quickly, I took a breath, "I mean, no, don't go. I don't want
you to, unless you want to go, do you want to go? Because I would completely
understand you know. I mean, there's places to see, people to go- wait,
that's not right. Places to go, people to see," I stopped, and looked into
Spike's smiling face, "What was I saying?"

He walked toward me, "I don't want to go, Willow," he whispered.

"That's good," I squeaked, "What do you want to do, then?"

He stepped another step closer to me. We were now inches apart.

"I want," he said huskily, then paused, "I want…"

"Yes?" I asked, barely audible.

"I want… I want you back," he sang, imitating *NSync. He broke out in a
grin, and twirled me around. When he stopped he looked at my face, noticing
my bewilderment.

"Aww…. Come on Willow… You didn't think I was gonna kiss your or something,
did you?" he asked with a friendly tone.

I strained a laugh, "Of course not!"

"We're just friends," he said. I felt like I had been slapped. <Duh Willow!
You guys are just friends. It's not like you liked him or anything, right?
Well… Oh Goddess did you like him? You DID! You DID! Well, nothing's
gonna happen, so you better stop. Oh, why do these things have to happen to
me?>

"Willow?" he asked me.

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

"Oh," I faked a laugh, "I was just thinking of something evil to do to you…"

He smiled at me wickedly, "You, evil? Never."

He took my hand, "Come on, let's see what's on the telly."

I felt a spark go through my body when he touched me.

<This is not good.>

We sat down on the bed and he pushed me against him to lean on. I felt it
again.

<This is *really* not good.>

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