Finding the Fire

Author: Sinayah

Email: Sinayah@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: I don’t own them; Joss is God; Please God can I play with ‘em?

Summary: Spike finds Willows hidden fire.

Spoilers: Dopplegangland and The Wish

Rating: R just to be on the safe side.

Comments: Ok guys this is my first fic. Please send feedback, I’m pretty nervous about posting. Many huge, heartfelt thanks go to my dear friend and fellow author Zenura for all her encouragement.

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The group was having a normal scooby meeting at the watchers apartment, researching the latest nasty to hit Sunnydale. They were idly flipping through the books while they waited for Willow to arrive. The redhead had a late class and wouldn’t get there for a while.

They still hadn’t found anything on the demon half an hour later when their hacker friend rushed into the apartment. It was pouring rain outside and the poor girl was drenched. Her shoulder length hair, darkened by the water, was parted in the middle and she appeared very pale from the cold. Water had soaked through her long sleeved top and was running off her black leather pants. The group turned to look when Willow slammed the door behind her. “Goddess, it’s nasty out there.” The redhead informed them.

Xander gave his friend the once over and quite promptly let out a womanly squeal. When everyone jerked back around to see what was wrong with him the boy pointed back at Willow, “She looks like Vamp Willow! God Wills don’t do that, it’s just too freaky!”

Buffy took another look at the girl and had to agree. “He’s right Wills; you do look like your vamp self at the moment. Why don’t you go in the bathroom and dry off?” Willow gave her friends a ‘you’re all insane’ look but went down the hall to Giles bathroom anyway. When the petite hacker disappeared from sight Spike looked at the others and asked, “Who or what is a vamp Willow?”

Buffy looked back down the hall and shivered before explaining. “Last year Willow and Anya did a spell to try and retrieve Anyas’ power source from an alternate dimension. They messed up and accidentally brought the Willow from that reality back here. She was a vampire. I’ve never been as scared as I was when I saw her at the bronze that night.”

“Yeah right Slayer, pull the other one.” Spike said, trying to call forth a mental image of the tiny redhead as a vampire. He just couldn’t picture it. From all his experiences with the scoobies Spike had found that Willow was the kindest, sweetest, and most innocent of the lot, he didn’t think she’d be too scary as a vamp. ‘Hell, she’s even nice to me, and I’ve tried to kill her how many times now.’ The blond thought to himself.

“Trust me junior, Vamp Willow is as scary as you and Angelus ever were.” Xander said, recalling his fear when confronted with his best friend as a vampire. She’d scared him like nothing else had in his days as a slayerette. “Within a few hours after getting to this world she’d already recruited some minions and taken over the bronze. She dressed completely in leather and was heavy with the naughty touching and the neck licking. She told us about her world. She and I were turned by the Master and we were his enforcers. Oh, and you’ll love this. She kept Angel chained up and caged as her Puppy!”

Xander’s description of Willow as a vampire had started Spike giggling; the master vampire just could not imagine the little hacker doing the things the boy was describing. But it was his last statement that put Spike on the floor. The image of his sire, chained and caged as a pet to the slayers best friend was just too much. He slid to the floor and commenced laughing as he hadn’t done in a long time.

Willow returned to the living room just as Spike was beginning to calm down. The blond looked up as she came in, blood tears running down his face from the force of his laughter. Spike looked her over from head to toe, trying to conjure up the image the boy had described, and what he came up with sent him into a new bout of giggles. “What’s wrong with Spike?” Willow asked as she sat down.

“He’s having trouble with our description of Vamp you.” Buffy said. “I don’t think he believes it happened. Oh well, can you get on the net and see if you can find anything on the demon I told you about?”

“Sure, what did Giles call it again? Oh right a Velstra demon.” Willow got up and walked over to the laptop she’d placed on the table when she came in.  She kept looking over at the blond vampire as the computer booted up. ‘The thought of vamp me isn’t that funny is it? I mean, it’s all completely true, we saw her!’ the redhead complained to herself.

“Ok Spike you can get off the floor now.” Buffy said, preparing to aim a kick at the vampire currently rolling on the floor of Giles apartment, silent laughter shaking his form. Honestly, if she hadn’t been there and seen it, the slayer might have been on the floor having a giggle fit herself. But it had happened. She, Xander, Giles, Cordelia, and Angel had all been witness to the event, and the thought of it still made her shiver.

Spike forced himself to calm down, though he was still snickering as he got up and returned to his seat on the couch. “Bloody hell, you lot come up with some good tales. That little chit as a vampire would probably be as terrifying as a wet kitten. I bet she’d apologize to her dinner before she killed it!” The vampire was covering now, though the images had at first made him laugh, further thought on the matter had him intrigued. He’d always fancied the girl, and he’d caught a glimpse of the fire she held within. ‘Cor if what they’re telling me is true I’ve underestimated just how much fire she really has.’ He thought, looking over his shoulder at the pixyish girl diligently typing away at her laptop. He didn’t notice her frown though, or the resolve in her eyes.

“Wet kitten my butt.” Willow muttered, too low for anyone to hear. ‘Vamp me was terrifying! How could Spike not see that I’d be a good vamp, he wanted to turn me himself not too long ago.’ The redhead had a full rant going in her head now. She looked over at Spike and glared at the back of his bleached blond head. ‘I’ll just have to prove it to him.’ She resolved. ‘I can use my magic to get the grr face and to cover my heartbeat and make me look pale. I’m sure I could find a costume that would work at the mall. Hmmm I should be ready to do it by Friday, we’ve been planning to go to the bronze then and Spike usually tags along. Yep, Friday. Spike will never know what hit him.’

A few minutes later the hacker had found the information the gang was looking for and they decided to call it a night, leaving the watchers apartment in Xander’s car to avoid the rain. When the teenagers had gone, Spike turned to Giles. The watcher had been silent ever since the first mention of the vampire Willow. “So mate, is it really true? Or were the slayer and the whelp just trying to get my goat?” Spike asked, anxious now to get to the real story. Giles didn’t answer the vampire, instead getting up and walking over to his desk where he removed a leather bound book. Opening it to a place in the middle, he handed the book to the blond. “See for yourself Spike, I’m going to bed.”

The vampire waited until Giles had gone upstairs, and then looked down at the book. It was Giles watcher journal from the previous year. Spike read the entry thoroughly; according to Giles everything the slayer and the donut boy had told him was true. There was even a sketch of the vampire, obviously Angels work. ‘Bloody hell, what I would’ve given to have seen this. She’s magnificent!’ He thought.

Through the week Spike kept a closer eye on Willow. He spoke to her more than he usually did and always walked her home at night. The blond just couldn’t keep his thoughts from conjuring up the sketch he’d seen of the girls’ vampire self. He was looking for any hint of the fire he’d glimpsed in her before, and not finding it.

What he did see though turned the slight attraction he’d already had for the girl into full blown lust. The master vampire saw in Willow what he’d once been himself. Sweet and kind and incredibly intelligent, with a dry sense of humour that he could appreciate; Willow was fast becoming his hearts desire.

As Willow left Giles apartment Thursday night she turned to Spike and said, “You’re looking for her aren’t you?” The petite girl had noticed Spike watching her since he’d found out about her vampire self, and she wondered if he’d found the potential vampire in her.

Willow had always seen Spike as an intuitive person, well demon anyway. The blond vampire had a way of seeing into people and finding their weaknesses. He was always brutally honest, and that only made his remarks more hurtful when he decided to use his knowledge against you. Looking back she remembered how he’d broken their group up so easily last year, turning their individual problems into weapons against the other members of the group. But she also remembered how he’d been the only one to make her feel better after Oz left. He’d come to their dorm room that night to kill her, but instead he’d made her feel like someone again, he’d made her feel wanted, though what he had wanted her for was still up for grabs. She stopped walking; waiting for him to answer her question, knowing he’d understood what she was asking.

Spike pulled a cigarette out of his duster and lit it, taking a deep drag before he responded. “Yeah, I was looking for her. I can’t find her though; I’m still having trouble believing she existed. I’ve seen the fire in you before Red, I know it’s there somewhere, but I can’t see it manifesting in the way Xapper and Slutty described the vampire you.”

They walked the rest of the way to the dorm in silence, but as Willow turned to say thank you and goodbye to the vampire she asked instead, “How do you see a vampire me, if not as the one Buffy and Xander told you about?”
Spike cocked his head at her, thinking about his response. ‘Should I lie to her? The truth could get me laughed straight out of town.’ Making a decision, he sat down on the steps and patted the spot next to him, indicating that Willow should sit beside him. When she had the blond lit another smoke and gave her his honest opinion.

“I think you’d be a lot like me Red. I’ll tell you why I think that, but first you have to swear never to breathe a bloody word of what I’m about to tell you to any one or any thing.” He paused, waiting for her promise.

It was Willows turn to cock her head at her companion. ‘I can’t believe it; he’s actually going to tell me what he thinks I’d be like as a vampire! This will make tomorrow night even better!’ The redhead thought, nearly bouncing in excitement. “I promise Spike, I’ll never tell anyone.” She said.

The blond took a drag on his cigarette and wished for his whiskey as he began, speaking softly. “I think, as a vampire, you would be very much like me, because when I was human, I was very much like you.” He paused, waiting for her tinkling laughter or shocked denial to hit his ears. When no sound came, he forced himself to look over at her, thanking the God he didn’t believe in that vampires couldn’t blush, as far as he knew.

She was looking at him, waiting for him to continue. There was no laughter or shock on her face, just interest. “You were like me?” the girl asked, her eyes pleading with him to elaborate. He couldn’t resist answering; this was the first time ever that he hadn’t been censured for who he had been as a human.

“I was a poet. You know I used to be called William the Bloody right?” When she nodded he continued his story. “I didn’t get that nickname as a vampire; it was given to me by my peers, bloody arseholes, the lot of em. They called me William the Bloody Awful Poet, because I was so bad.”

Spike lifted his hip and pulled his wallet out of his jeans. He opened it up and pulled out a worn tintype photograph, handing it to Willow to peruse. “That pet, is me, about a year before I was turned. I was a nice man, a good man, and always the one overlooked for the more dashing blokes who couldn’t hold a candle to my intelligence.” That said, the vampire decided he’d revealed too much for one night. His insecurities coming back full force, he took back the tintype and returned it to his wallet. “Now it’s time for good girls to go inside and get some sleep. See you later Ducks.” He started walking off.

Willow was stunned at all the information the vampire had given her. ‘I’m what he used to be, and he’s what I wont let myself be.’ She thought. She leapt up from her seat and ran after the blond, calling him. When she caught up to him she was breathing hard. She took a minute to catch her breath then started babbling.

“I just wanted to say thank you for telling me all of that, I’m glad you did. I hope you’ll tell me more sometime and I promise I wont tell anyone your secret.” She stopped talking, out of breath, when she had recovered she asked, “Will you be at the bronze tomorrow night? We’re all going and there’s something I want you to see. Please will you come?” She looked up at him with her best pleading face, meeting his azure eyes with her own hopeful green orbs.

Spike looked down at the little witch, surprised to hear her thanking him and expressing her interest in learning more about him. He lifted his hand and brushed a lock of flaming hair off the girls face, then responded, “Sure pet, I’ll be there, but what’re you gonna show me?”

Willow made a happy noise in her throat, bouncing up on tip toes to kiss the vampire on the cheek. Then she ran off back to the dorms, calling over her shoulder, “You’ll see!” If Willow had looked back she’d have seen something very few people had before. Spike, the slayer of Slayers, one fourth of the scourge of Europe was standing very still, mouth agape, one hand pressed to the cheek she’d kissed, utterly shocked and blushing faintly.

The bronze was packed when Willow entered through the back. She made her way over to the deejay without being spotted and handed him a CD. The guy was a friend of Oz’ and was happy to oblige the redhead. Before exiting to go around to the front of the club Willow looked around to make sure everyone was there. She quickly spotted Buffy, Xander, Anya and Riley sitting at one of the tables chatting. The redhead was glad she’d told Buffy to warn the others that something was going to happen tonight. She didn’t want to frighten her friends with this stunt. Buffy said she’d tell the gang to play along with whatever Willow was going to do and not to be scared. Willow finally caught sight of Spike standing in the shadows near the stairs, watching the room.

‘Ok Willow, everything is set, now you just have to go in there and act for all you’re worth.’ The scarlet haired girl encouraged herself. She ducked back out of the club and made her way to the front. As she turned the corner and came into sight of the other patrons her whole demeanour changed. Gone was the shy hacker, the slayers best friend. In her place was a vampire, a seductress dressed in leather; pure evil radiating from her in waves.

She sauntered past the line of people waiting to pay the cover charge, tossing a few bills at the bouncer as she walked by. Her music started as she strode purposefully to the dance floor, leaving the male patrons slack jawed in her wake. The girl knew her outfit had one upped the alternate Willow. If she said so herself, Willow looked damn good.

She’d chosen to wear leather, as her alternate had, but more daring. An ankle length sleeveless leather vest in black, held together by one button between her breasts billowed with every step, opening to show off her bare tummy and the black leather pants that covered her bottom. The pants were settled low on her hips, so tight they seemed painted on. A wide strip of black lace ran vertically from hip to ankle on the outside of each leg, showing an enticing expanse of skin underneath. Calf length, spike heeled black boots completed the ensemble.

The young witch had done a powerful glamour on herself. It created the illusions of too pale skin, muffled her heartbeat and would create a ‘game face’ for her with a thought. She stepped onto the dance floor as Rob Zombie’s voice belted out the lyrics to ‘Living Dead Girl’.

The music throbbed and pulsed, and Willow throbbed and pulsed with it. Her lithe body swayed and bent as she danced erotically. The other people on the dance floor stepped back, giving the woman room. Her body promised and prophesized, seduced and enticed.

“Crawl on me,
Sink into me,
Die for me,
Living Dead Girl!

Blood on her skin,
Dripping with sin,
Do it again,
Living Dead Girl!”

By the time the song finished Willow had the attention of everyone in the bronze, including her friends and the vampire she was doing this for. Spike had made his way over to the scoobies once he’s spotted the redhead on the dance floor. ‘Satan below, she’s been turned! I’ll make her sire pray for death before I’m done.’ The blond thought, never taking his eyes from the beautiful demon writhing on the dance floor. Aloud he said, “Slayer, what do we do with her? We can’t just stake her.”

Buffy noticed the absolute anguish on his face as he spoke. ‘Boy I didn’t know Spike liked Willow that much. Bet he believes Vamp Willow was scary now. I almost feel sorry for the guy, but I can’t tell him it’s a joke, I don’t think Wills’ finished yet.’ Instead of speaking the slayer pretended to be in shock along with the rest of the group, though from the looks of it Xander and Riley really were in shock, or in lust.

Willow strode lazily off the dance floor, looked around casually, and then sauntered over to the group. “Oooh Slayer, you’ve found some more pretty toys since the last time I was here. Care to introduce me?” the redhead purred seductively. One step brought her up to Xander and she proceeded to clasp the boy to her, licking up his neck and nibbling on his ear. “Xanderrr, you just get better tasting as you get older.”

Leaving Xander stuttering she made her way around the table to Riley, ignoring Anya completely. “Well Slayer, is this your new toy? Where’s Puppy gone to?” she asked as she made a show of examining Riley, who tried his best to ignore her antics. He couldn’t ignore the small white hand when it squeezed his crotch though. The soldier yelped, then turned tail and ran. Willow laughed at his retreat.

‘One more left, gotta make this good.’ Willow thought as she turned to Spike. She was surprised to see the sorrow on his face, it almost blew her cover. “And who are you Pretty?” she asked as she slid up and pressed herself full length to the vampire. When he didn’t react or respond, the redhead grew bolder, running her hand up and down his chest.

Spike was too busy processing the information to respond to the seductive little redhead pressed against him. ‘This must be what my little witch wanted to show me, she must’ve conjured up her vampire self so that I could see her. She’s not dead!’ That thought brought about a change in the blond, he figured if his Red had gone to all the trouble of bringing her vamp self back, he’d better enjoy it while it lasted. He finally looked at the redhead, his full lips forming a heart stopping smirk. Spike wrapped an arm around the girl, pulling her closer against him and resting his hand on the small of her back, under the vest. “’Ello Luv, I’m Spike, and you must be the alternate Willow I’ve heard so much about.”

“Mmm, I guess I must be. Fuzzy told me you didn’t believe I existed. Well now that I’m here do you believe?” Willow asked. Plastered up against the blond vampire as she was, the witch couldn’t help but notice he was becoming aroused by her, the evidence was pressing into her thigh. Not giving him time to answer her question Willow did something she’d always wanted to do but had never had the guts. One dainty hand made its way down Spikes back and over his jeans to squeeze the adorable ass the blond was always showing off. She pinched it too, since she had the opportunity.

“Why you little nymph!” Spike growled, resisting the urge to rub the sore spot on his arse, instead returning the favour. He was enjoying playing with this girl; at the very least they were shocking the scoobies speechless, which was always a good thing.

Willow gave the vampire a big grin when he pinched her rear, pressing impossibly closer and purring, “Ooooh does Pretty want to play?” she asked, then a frown twisted her lips momentarily. “No Puppy here, and no Xander except the boy. But I bet you’d be a good pet, a pretty kitty just for me. Come play with me Pretty Kitty? I’ll make you purr.” She leaned in close and nipped at his earlobe, “I’ll make you scream.” She promised.

Spike made a noise somewhere between a growl and a purr before answering. “Oh you’re a tempting little chit alright. If I wasn’t already lusting after the other you I’d take you up on that offer in a heartbeat. But I will give you a bit of a taste…” The vampire leaned in, tipping the redhead over his arm, and kissed her.

‘Gah! Oh Goddess I shouldn’t be doing this, I shouldn’t be kissing Spike! Bad, bad Willow! He’s so good at it though, mmmm.’ The thoughts rushed through her mind as Willow kissed Spike back. It seemed to go on forever, and oxygen was becoming an issue when, with a last nip at her lower lip the blond retreated, pulling her up with him.

“Now pet, where is our Red hmm? We need to get you sent home where you belong. I bet your whelp and Puppy are missing you like crazy. You don’t happen to have any pictures of him do you? Puppy that is, you see he’s my sire and I’d do just about anything to see him all chained up and dominated by a tiny thing like you.” Spike said, honestly hoping that she did have pictures.

Taking this as her cue to end the charade Willow muttered a few words in latin and the glamour disappeared. “Umm hey guys!” she waved at the group nervously.

First, there were snickers; second came the muffled giggles, and finally the group burst out laughing. Buffy was the first to lose it, saying through her laughter, “Oh God Wills…so funny…Riley…running away…Spike…pinched his…kissed…ACK! Wills you kissed Spike!” Even the slayers momentary anger couldn’t erase the image of her big bad soldier boyfriend running away from her tiny friend, the laughter just kept coming.

Xander couldn’t get any type of comment out. He was lost between shock and laughter that the dance floor siren, the brazen woman who’d just come on to Spike and felt up Riley was his shy best friend. He looked at Anya, trying to gauge her reaction. The ex demon had a proud smirk on her face. ‘Good thing Wills didn’t crawl all over me like she did Spike. Anya would’ve blown a gasket.’ The boy thought.

Willow, still held tightly against Spike, looked up at the vampire to see what his reaction would be. From the looks of it, her vampire friend was nothing but pleased. The redhead had been worried for a minute there because of the grief she’d seen in his eyes earlier. She smiled up and the blond and asked, “Did you see it?” Knowing that he’d understand.

Spike looked down at his little witch, smiling brightly. The blond wondered when he’d begun thinking of the girl as his, but let the thought pass as he answered, “I’m seeing it now. You’re bloody brilliant with it love. Promise me you won’t let it fade away again.”

“I promise Spike.” The redhead whispered. She was getting lost in the oceans of feelings the vampire was letting her see in his crystalline eyes. He showed her his heart, the deep love he was capable of, the fierce loyalty and protectiveness. As his lips lowered to meet hers his gaze told her that all that he was he would give to her, if she would give him the same.

For her, the once feared demon would again wear his heart on his sleeve, so all the world would know of his feelings for her. And as the redhead touched her lips to his she gave him all that he asked for, and more. For him she would stand in the fire, instead of hiding it away. For him she would risk her heart again, because she knew he’d protect it until the end of eternity.

And as the slayer and her friends looked on they saw the promises made, and the fire of love that glowed brightly between the devil and the angel, and couldn’t be anything but happy, because demons would come and go, and apocalypses would be averted every second Tuesday, but the love they saw begin there in the small club would last through the ages, unto eternity.

The End

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