Title: Reflecting About…Love [1/1] Part 6 of the
"About...Love" series.
Author: Snow C
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Buffy & co, with Angel & co, belong to
Joss & Co. Not mine.
Distribution: Just ask me if you want it :)
Feedback: is printed out and framed in gold.
Notes: : Not beta-read. Post-Season 4 BVTS. No Tara,
Oz * just * came back and Spike moved to an apartment.
[Thoughts] * emphasis *
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love quote
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dedication: To everyone who has given me wonderful
feedback :)
My ramblings: Hope I got the Mel Gibson bit correct. I
didn't watch it in the cinemas and when I
* finally * got to watch it, they censored that part.
I just went through a history test today. Feeling
groggy now and my flu is still here. But I wanted to
at least do this part so sorry if it's so short. The
next part will be longer, I hope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I know I shouldn't like him because I know it's not
working and everyone tells me that. I convince myself
I don't, and, then, I'll see him, and he'll smile or
put his arm around me or just say something. Then, all
that logic and convincing myself, just evaporates."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy and Willow were at Willow's house doing the
movie night thing they use to do with Xander; only now
it included Anya. And tonight was their turn to get
the movies.

Buffy had been going on about the carnival at the park
for an hour. She was whining about how Riley was not
there to accompany her to the carnival. " There's
going to be the usual rides, the Ferris Wheel and the
Haunted House and The Maze of Mirrors. It's opening
tomorrow. I wish Riley could be here….."

Willow was trying rather unsuccessfully to erase the
image of Spike wearing the towel out of her head. Even
though it had been 2 days ago and Anya had been the
one who pulled off the towel when they found out that
Spike had been trying to distract her, Willow was the
one who pushed him out of his apartment. And she had
gotten a * really * good look at his butt.

"It's a work of art, really." Buffy gave a dreamy
sigh.

"What is a work of art?" Willow responded nervously.
[Oh goddess, did I just say all that aloud. Please
don't let me embarrass myself.]

"His butt."

"Eep……I didn't get a good look at his butt even though
his back was facing me and I……" Willow stopped at the
weird look from Buffy. "Who's butt are we talking
about here?"

"Who else? Riley has these broad shoulders too and……."
As Buffy ranted on about her favorite topic again,
Willow heaved a small sigh of relief. [That was too
close. I have to stop thinking about Spike around
Buffy.]

Just then, there was knocking on the door. "I'll open
it." Buffy rushed to open the door. "Hello Spike."
Willow scrambled up from her couch and rushed to the
door. Spike was really there and he was grinning.
Willow hoped that he wasn't there for revenge on what
she did to him. Then she remembered that she was
supposed to be angry with him.

"Poor Spike. I'm not going to invite you into Willow's
house." Buffy stuck out her tongue at the bemused
vampire. Then, Buffy gaped as Spike stepped through
the doorway and into the house.

"Already have one, Slayer."

"How……Why…?" Buffy sputtered like an idiot.

"Hello, Red. Nice of you to invite me over for the
movies. " Spike happily settled on her couch while
Willow bristled.

There was another knocking on the door. "I'll get
that." Willow opened the door, immediately grabbing a
rather surprised Anya and hissing into her ear.
"Spike's here. I forgot that I invited him over for
movies three days ago. "

Anya rolled her eyes as they entered the living room
where Xander already was. "So? Just give him the cold
shoulder. Let's watch the movie. The girl recommended
this." She handed the tapes over to Willow while
moving over to sit with Xander on the floor. There was
a wide space on the couch between Spike and Buffy.

"Pet, I want you to sit here." Spike purred, patting
the empty space. Willow sat down reluctantly. Spike
immediately pulled her closer to him. "Red, I was a
big, bad vampire for hitting Oz. And I plan to make it
up to you." Willow blushed, forgetting what she had
been angry about as she looked into his incredible
blue eyes.

"Lethal Weapon?" Buffy cheered up as the movie
started. "Ooh. That's the one where Mel Gibson shows
his butt right? Hurry, let's watch it."

Willow snuggled closer against Spike as the movie went
on. Then, the Mel Gibson bit where he walked out of
the shower naked had Buffy glued to the remote control
as she played it in slow motion, twice. Xander groaned
as the girls stared. "Isn't his butt cute?" Buffy
sighed dramatically.

"I have a nicer ass than him." Spike announced as
Buffy and Xander gagged. He gave a devilish grin and
continued. "Just ask Anya and Red. They've seen it."

"Spike!!!"

*************************
LA, New Office of Angel Investigations

Angel limped into the office, all covered in green
goo. Cordelia scrunched up her nose. "Eww……Angel. You
stink, as usual. What happen to your leg?" The
dark-haired vampire ignored her and went straight to
the bathroom. He came out an hour later with clean
clothes and looking better but still limping a little.
He collapsed on the couch.

"Angel, I think you need a break. That's the tenth
demon this week. I'm sure the demon population has
gone down drastically. The-almost-recovered-from-flu
Wesley and I can take care of things for a few days
and we will try not to have a crisis. Besides you can
bring your cell phone along so we can……"

"That's a good idea." Angel interrupted her.

"What?" Cordelia stared at him. Without missing a
beat, Cordelia went into vacation mode. "Paris would
be nice at this time."

"I'm going to Sunnydale."

Silence.

"Angel, I believe when I said take a break, I mean *
away * from LA."

"I * am * going away from LA." Angel sighed.

"Yeah, away from LA and into * Sunnydale *.
Hellooooooo? There is nothing fun in Sunnydale except
for heartbreak and embarrassment. Recall a certain
blond slayer? " Cordelia decided to be blunt since
Angel was so dense.

"I know. Well do * you * still think of a certain
dark-hair boy." Angel retorted.

"Ooh. Snappy much."

"Cordelia, there * is * something fun in Sunnydale."

"Well, name me something."

Silence.

"Spike's there."

"And how's * that * supposed to be relaxing? You
thinking of torturing him with hot pokers?"

"Whatever. I'm leaving tomorrow."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"In life, actions speak louder then words, but, in
love, the eyes do."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't believe Spike told Xander that I've seen him
naked. He hasn't touched me for the whole day." Anya
grumbled as she looked longingly as the dark-haired
boy who was carrying a box of books that Giles had
needed. It was evening and they were at Giles' place
as usual. Giles was worrying over the new vampires
that had come to Sunnydale so he had decided to find
out more about their origin. Willow flipped through
the spell book she had found in the shelves. "Where's
Spike and Buffy?"

"Spike went to Willy's place to gather some
information about the vampires while Buffy went for an
early patrol. Xander, could you try not to drop the
box? These books may save your life one day." Giles
cringed as Xander almost tripped.

Someone knocked the door just then. Willow got up and
opened the door. She stared at the man in a purple
suit standing at the doorway with a python wrapped
around his neck. She blinked. "Hello." Willow greeted
the person uncertainly while eyeing the snake.

"Willow, who is it?" Xander came to the door and his
eyes widened in shock. "Can somebody tell me that that
is * not * a snake on Giles' front porch." The reptile
continued staring at them with its beady eyes.

The strange man in the purple suit laughed as the
snake hissed. "I'm here to give out flyers. Come to
the carnival at the park. It's opening in two days'
time, on the Friday. We have food and games and the
circus here too." He handed a flyer to Willow and
winked at her. "I hope to see a beautiful lady like
you there too. The name's Zachariah and my pet is
Luna."

"Well, I'm Spike and I'm not interested." The blond
vampire materialized out of nowhere and stood between
Zachariah and Willow, glowering at him. The man took a
deep bow before gracefully moving away to the next
house.

"Okay, that just gave me the wiggins. Only on the
hellmouth." Xander muttered as they went back into the
house.

"What happened outside?" Anya questioned Xander. When
Xander mentioned the carnival, Anya gave a little
sigh. "It's been a long time since I've been to a
carnival."

"Really, well……I guess I could bring you there on
Friday." Xander grinned as Anya broke into a happy
smile. Willow looked at them with envy while Spike
rolled his eyes.

"It's just a bloody carnival. What's so exciting about
them? I'm not going to step foot in that silly place."
Spike declared, not seeing the disappointed look in
Willow's eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's all right letting yourself go--as long as you
can get yourself back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow had been escorted home by Buffy after the
research session. Willow drew meaningless circles in
her notebook, sitting in front of her desk again. It
had been crazy for the past few days. Oz coming back;
the fight in the bar; locking Spike out of his house.
[That had been fun though.] Willow giggled.

She felt strangely upset when Spike had declared that
he wasn't interested in the carnival. It would be nice
if she could go to the carnival. [and I want Spike to
go with me.] Willow had no idea where their
relationship was going or whether there was one in the
first place.

Willow thought about all the things he had said and
done. If she didn't know better, she would have said
that Spike was jealous of Oz. The weird thing was that
she never really got to ask either of them why the
fight started. [Maybe……]

The knocking downstairs broke into her thoughts. She
hoped that it wasn't the strange man with the snake.
[Maybe it's Spike?] On that brighter note, Willow
glanced into the mirror to check her appearance. Her
reflection looked nervously back at her.

Willow rushed down the stairs and pulled the door open
with anticipation. Angel looked at her with a slightly
embarrassed smile. "Angel? What are you doing here?
Aren't you supposed to be in LA? Did something happen?
Is it Cordelia?"

"Willow. Calm down. Nothing's wrong. I just came here
for a short working holiday. Unfortunately I didn’t
know the circus was in town. All the motels are fully
booked. So I need a place to stay for the day." Angel
explained, his hands tugging through his dark hair
nervously.

"Oh. I see. You can stay here for the rest of your
trip. In the guest room. Come on in." Willow gestured
with her hand as Angel stepped into her house
gratefully, holding a black carryall bag. "I'll find
some heavy drapes to sun-proof the house too."

"I'm sorry for causing so much trouble." Angel
apologized as he followed Willow up the stairs.

"It's okay, Angel. We're friends and friends help each
other. Besides, you don’t have anywhere else to stay
unless……unless you want to stay with Spike." Willow
looked up at him with questioning green eyes while
Angel put his bag on the floor. Angel shook his head
gently while Willow smiled.

"I don't really want to see him yet. I just want to
rest for a few days here and get some books from
Giles. Then I'll be back in LA."

"Oh. So you want meet up with the rest of the gang?
They're all going to the carnival the day after
tomorrow. At least Xander and Anya are going. Buffy
will be joining them later. I'm also going but I don't
really want to be around Xander and Anya because they
tend to……uh……disappear somewhere and do things that I
don't really want to know and Spike doesn't like
carnivals so I can't ask him to take me there even if
I actually dared to open my mouth and ask and since
that is * so * not going to happen so I think………."

"I'll go with you." Angel said quietly, not looking at
Willow. He seemed to be embarrassed.
"Oh. Sure, I mean this is great. Angel, you don't have
to do this if you don't want to." Willow replied in an
uncertain tone.

"It's okay. I'm supposed to be on a holiday even
though I doubt that going to the carnival was what
Cordelia had in mind when she told me to go let go and
have fun. She was thinking more along the lines of
shopping." Angel gave a small smile while Willow
giggled.

"So what do you want to do now?" Willow sat
cross-legged on the bed facing the dark-hair vampire.

"What has been going on between you and Spike?" Angel
prompted and was rewarded with a telltale blush from
the redhead.

"Nothing's going on.
Ijusthaveatinythingforhimandhedoesntknow." Willow
blurted out.

"I see. You have a thing for him. But he's a demon and
he's evil."

"Angel," Willow gave a frustrated sigh. "The
he-is-an-evil-demon excuse is not valid. We all know
for a fact that Spike loves Drusilla. Therefore he is
capable of feeling love. And if he's a demon and he's
supposed to be bad, then I'm a witch and I'm supposed
to be old and ugly with warts all over my face."
Willow defended herself with her own brand of logic
that drew out a chuckle from the normally broody
vampire.

"We'll see."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jealousy is the beginning of discontent with what you
are and envy of others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Angelus."

"Spike."

"I'm Xander and they, from your right, are Anya,
Willow and Giles. Okay, we now know each other's
name." Xander tried to ease the tension of the room.
The two vampires did not uttered another word to each
other.

Willow had brought Angel to get the books with Giles.
She had only expected to see Xander and Anya at the
research meeting. Willow knew for certain that Buffy
was not free tonight because her mother had insisted
to spend some time with her. She didn't expect the
blond vampire to be there; he hated researching. So
now they were not talking to each other.

Angel requested the books from Giles and stayed close
to Willow while Spike glared daggers at the older
vampire. They were then engaged in a glaring
competition, trying to stare each other down.

Spike growled at Angel. The older vampire was standing
much too close to Willow and Spike didn't like it at
all. Spike had wanted to ask Willow out to the
carnival tomorrow night. [So I don't like carnivals
all that much but no snake guy's going near * my *
Willow. Now I have to do it in front of the bloody
wanker and the daft boy.] He snarled at a suddenly
amused Angel before turning away to face Willow.

"Red, want to go to the carnival with me tomorrow?
Don't feel like staying at home." Spike shrugged,
trying to sound as normal as he could despite the
sudden attack of the nerves.

Spike had expected to see his Red blush and then nod
shyly. Not turn slightly pale and give a * look * to
his Sire. He also saw Angel shifting uncomfortably
while exchanging another one of those bloody * looks *
with Willow.

"Um……Spike. I……I've already made plans……to……um……go to
the……um……carnival with someone else." Willow was not
looking at him, choosing to study her shoes.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, the blond vampire
attempted to shrug casually. "No problem, pet. So who
are you going with? Wolf-boy?"

There was that * look * again between the Poof and his
Red. Spike suddenly had a sinking feeling. [No. Not
again……]

"I'm going with Angel. I thought that you didn't want
to go so……"

"So you decided to go with Nancy-boy. Well, I don't
care what the bloody hell you do with * your * Angel.
It's just a soddin' carnival." Spike strode out of
Giles' house. Willow ran after him but he was already
gone in the darkness.

"Willow, he needs to be alone for a while." Angel
spoke up quietly.

"I must talk to him. I'm going to his apartment to
wait." Willow grabbed her bag.

"Let me go with you. To keep you safe on the streets."
Angel insisted, following her to the door. Willow
nodded her head and left with Angel, leaving the rest
of the group in confused silence.

Xander turned to face Giles and Anya, breaking the
silence first. "Okay, so we all agree that Buffy will
flip if she knew Angel's in town. So she will not know
that Angel's here in Sunnydale. And nobody say
anything, including me."

"Angel's in Sunnydale?" Xander whirled around to see
Buffy standing at the doorway of Gile's house.

"Not again." He muttered before plastering an
over-bright smile on his face. "Hiya Buff, no one from
LA is here. Nope. Angel is so not here. Anyway I
didn't say Angel the vampire. I said that Anya's an
angel. So why are you here?"

"My mum needed to rush back to the gallery. So I
figured I could help with the research. Are you sure
that you didn't mean anything else?" Buffy looked
suspiciously at him and was about to cross-examine
Xander further when she heard the phone ring.

In fact, all of them heard the phone ring.

And it wasn't Giles' phone.

The sleek-looking black cell phone on the light-color
couch stood out like a sore thumb.

And it was making the sound.

"Giles, I didn't know you had a cell phone." Buffy
walked over to the table and answered it before anyone
could react.

"Hey Angel, how are things in Sunnydale? Let me guess.
You are playing hide-and-seek with Buffy. I told you,
France is good. Noooo…….it had to be Sunnydale.
Stubborn much? Anyway, Wesley and I are fine. We found
a cute poodle for some old lady. Kate's looking for
you. I think she just want to seduce you. Okay, it's
your turn to make an attempt at conversing. "

"Cordelia?"

There was an uneasy silence at both sides of the phone
line.

" Don't tell me that he lost his phone * again *. The
last time that happened, the phone ended up being
eaten up. Who's this? "

"I'm Buffy."

"Oh. * Buffy *. Well, since Angel's not there, could
you tell him to be careful about his phone? I'll call
him again later. " Click.

"That was Cordelia and she was looking for Angel."
Buffy narrowed her eyes at the nervous trio. " What
is going on here? "

******************************

"Why is it always like this? Angelus gets whatever he
wants and I'm just there for the seconds, for the
unwanted goods. I'm have me bloody pride too, y' know.
Give me another one." Spike finished the brandy and it
got refilled again.

"Y' know how it feels, mate? To be second best? My Dru
only cared about her Angel; he's got the slayer eating
out of his hands; now he's got my Red." Spike trailed
off, the empty glass falling onto the carpet. Oz
yawned as the vampire picked up the glass and refilled
it.

"Y' know. I was going to ask her to the bloody
carnival. Now I won't be doing that. Stupid Poof……"
Spike continued ranting.

Oz regarded him with resigned look. It felt weird to
be bonding with the potential boyfriend of his
ex-girlfriend. But he supposed he was used to weird
things happening. He was a werewolf after all and
Spike's a vampire. Things can't get any weirder.

Stifling another yawn, Oz started to wonder how much
alcohol it took to make a vampire drunk. Oz was
exhausted. Although he had no hard feelings for the
blond vampire, he would like him to just keep quiet
and let him get some sleep.

"Spike. You need to go back to your own apartment
before you get too drunk to walk. I'll bring you
back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A million stars and a million dreams... he is the
only star I see and only dream I dream."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The redhead and the dark-hair vampire had been waiting
outside Spike's apartment for an hour. They chatted
from Cordelia's visions to Willow's botched spells.
Angel had been in a relaxed mood, telling her details
about his life in LA.

"Angel? Why did you choose to come back here for a
vacation?" Willow blurted out the question that had
bothered her since he appeared on her doorstep. Angel
seemed to retreat back into his brooding mode for a
few minutes before venturing out again.

" I just wanted to see if Spike's alright and to visit
you."

"Me? Why me?"

"Because you are one of the few friends I have." Angel
gave a slight smile as Willow grinned.

"Willow. Hi Angel." Angel and Willow looked up to see
Oz supporting a drunk Spike. Spike waved the empty
bottle around and giggled when he saw them. Angel went
over to hold Spike, letting Oz open the door with the
keys. Angel entered the apartment and dumped the very
drunk Spike on the bed with black silk bed sheets in
Spike's room.

The blond vampire promptly rolled off the bed and onto
the floor. Willow stared at the bed. She sat down on
it and nearly fell off. It was a waterbed. Angel
murmured something about Spike's weird taste and
deposited him with more care on the bed.

" Oz, you can leave now. We'll be fine here." Willow
said while tugging off Spike's boots. Oz nodded
gratefully and left the apartment. Angel remained in
the room. It took him a minute to realise that Willow
was undressing Spike. He cleared his throat loudly.

"Willow? What are you doing?"

" I need to get him out of these clothes. They need a
good wash and it's not comfortable to sleep in them."
Willow replied while proceeding to divest Spike of his
duster. She then started to tug his black shirt off
and was working on his belt when Angel cleared his
throat again.

"Willow? Would you like me to do it instead?" Willow
paused in her task and looked at Angel in confusion.
"Uh……Spike doesn't wear boxers."

"Oh. That's okay. I can handle everything. I mean
Xander is not a boxers sort of guy. I know because
once we went shopping for clothes together and he
seems to have a thing for those……"

"Willow. Spike doesn't wear * anything * underneath
those pants you are trying to pull off."

"What? * Oh *. Then I shall go now and leave now."
Willow scrambled out of the room, blushing from the
tips of her ears to her toes. She braked at the
doorway, turning around to face Angel. "Angel, how
come you know that Spike doesn't wear anything……" she
stopped at Angel's weird look. "Uh……never mind."

Willow waited in the living room. She wandered around
and really looked at the apartment for the first time.
It was quite neat for a bachelor's pad, especially for
one who's not human. It had the few necessities that
every house needed; the television set, a fridge, the
microwave.

Spike did splurge on an expensive-looking
entertainment set though. Seeing a fancy wooden CD
rack beside it, she scanned through his CD collection,
not surprised to find the usual heavy metal bands and
alternative bands. She did find a Kenny G album and a
few classical albums among them. She made a mental
note to ask him about it.

The walls were painted white and adorned with three
oil paintings that though were different but portrayed
the same theme. It was a view of the sea. The deep
blue sea during the day, peaceful and calm. The sea
during the storm, just like a tempest. Volatile and
explosive, dark and foreboding. And lastly, one of the
sea during sunset. The orange rays reflecting onto the
surface of the sea, tingeing it a brilliant orange.

Willow studied the three paintings, wondering about
their significance to him. In a way, it reminded her
of his blue eyes. The same depth of emotions and
turbulence in him was like the unpredictable sea. She
turned around and nearly jumped out of her skin. Angel
was behind her and contemplating the artworks too.

"Angel. How many times have I lectured you on not
sneaking up on people?" She chided him.

" It is part of me and it has saved my life many
times." Angel defended himself. " By the way,
Spike is sleeping on the bed. His clothes are in the
washing machine. "

"Thanks. Angel, why don't you go back to my house
first? I'm sure you don't want to be stuck with Spike
for the whole day waiting for the sun to set. "

"Willow, I don't feel safe leaving you alone with him.
Beside he's……" Angel frowned, his eyebrows knitted
together.

" I'll call you if he tries to lick me to death or
something." Willow reassured the dark hair vampire.

"I guess that would be fine. He can't hurt you because
of the chip. Just call me on my cell phone if you……"
Angel put his hand into his empty pocket. He searched
his pocket. There was nothing at all. Then he
remembered. [Cordelia is going to have an apoplexy.]

"On second thoughts, just call me at Giles' if you
need me. I have to retrieve my cell phone. I think I
left it there. Willow, be careful." Willow heaved a
sigh of relief as Angel left the apartment. [Angel's
really nice but he has a tendency to get too……broody?
Oh well.]

Willow tiptoed across the living room and into the
Spike's bedroom. She could see the blond vampire
sleeping soundly on his waterbed. Grabbing a pillow
from the floor that must have fallen off the bed, she
went to the couch in the living room and snuggled into
it. Willow fell asleep within a few seconds, her arms
wrapped around the fluffy pillow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are so many stars in the sky, only some radiant
enough to be noticed. Among those you choose to
ignore, are the ones who are willing to shine for you
forever, even if your glance remains elsewhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angel quickly made his way to Giles' place to retrieve
his phone and get back to Willow's house before the
sun rose. He was about to knock on the door when
someone opened it. Angel was surprised, to say the
least, at the sight of the blond slayer. "Buffy?"

"Angel." Buffy nodded her head politely, like they
were just mere acquaintances. "Why didn't you tell me
you were here? Planning to avoid me again? Well, I'm
leaving now and Riley's in Iowa so you don't have to
see him."

An awkward silence hung around them. Each of them not
knowing what to say or do. Buffy moved away from the
doorway and gave a small, tight smile. "By the way,
Cordelia wants you to look after your cell phone."
With that, the blond slayer left the vampire with a
soul standing outside, alone.

Angel stood outside Giles' house for a few minutes. He
sighed deeply, shaking off the remnants of wistful
feelings in him and entered Giles' house, his mind
intent on appeasing Cordelia for almost losing his
cell phone again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"This was love at first sight, love everlasting: a
feeling unknown, unhoped for, unexpected--in so far as
it could be a matter of conscious awareness; it took
entire possession of him, and he understood, with
joyous amazement, that this was for life."

--- Thomas Mann ---

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike stirred awake to an unfamiliar droning noise
coming from some corner in his apartment. He sprang up
from his bed, ready to attack whatever was in his den
when he recalled that Oz sent him home. [Must be
Wolf-boy. He's using the damaged tap in the kitchen.]

"Can you soddin' keep quiet and stop it?" Spike
roared. There was a last drone before the blessed
silence. Spike checked that the blinds were closed and
shuffled back to the beckoning bed. [Need sleep.]

Then the noise started again. Collapsing back into his
comfortable bed, he covered his ears with his pillow,
hoping to tune out the droning sound. [Bloody tap is
going to fly off with this racket.] Spike decided that
he couldn't care less about a stupid water tap. He was
about to drift back into sleep when someone shrieked.

The blond vampire growled angrily, his human facade
shifting to his true demon face. Noting that all the
blinds were closed, he marched to the source of the
disturbance in his house. He reached the kitchen,
ready to sink his fangs into Oz when he came up
against a totally drenched Willow staring at the
flooded kitchen sink and floor

Spike ogled blatantly. Her white shirt and blue jeans
molded to her body, accentuating her curves. (Which
Spike noted were in all the right places.) Her red
hair was tucked behind her ears, her fingers running
through her hair nervously, combing her fringe up.
Small water droplets traced a path down her face, her
neck and into her shirt. What she was wearing
underneath that shirt only aroused him further. A lacy
lilac bra which encased her beautiful breasts. Spike
was openly gawking when he heard Willow giggling.

[Bloody hell.] He managed to tear his gaze away from
her to look at her face. Willow was giggling and
blushing. "What? I wasn't looking at you. " Spike
snapped, irritated from her waking him up. The other
reason was the hard-on he was trying to will away
unsuccessfully.

"Boxers." Willow tittered as Spike frowned and looked
down at the large pair of white boxers with red polka
dots he was wearing. "I'm sure Angel didn't mean to
dress you in the……uh…….same white boxers as that
night. I mean I did tell him about it and he did had a
good laugh over it but I don't think he's that mean.
And, you, uh, are in your game face."

For once, Spike felt grateful to Angelus. He didn't
felt like embarrassing himself or explaining about his
state of arousal. Willow giggled again as Spike
morphed back into his human features and regarded his
boxers with something akin to disgust. Then Spike
stomped out of the kitchen without another word.

Willow gave a tiny shrug before opening the kitchen
cabinets to search for a screwdriver. She had been
trying to wash her hands in the kitchen sink when the
whole head of the tap flew off, followed by a jet of
water aimed right at her. She had quickly used a large
towel to wrap up the tap, thus preventing the water
from spraying all over the place. Willow was searching
for the main control to switch off the water supply
when Spike had emerged out of his room.

She sighed in relief as the water supply stopped. A
few minutes later, Spike trotted back into the
kitchen, carrying a red toolbox and wearing a pair of
black jeans. He tossed some clothes at her. "Change
before you get sick." Then he ignored her and went to
fix the tap. Willow clutched the dry clothes and
waddled out of the wet kitchen, wondering about his
sudden coldness to her.

***********************************

Willow noticed that Spike had not looked at her from
the minute she went into the kitchen to observe him,
fixing the tap. He did fix the tap in record time and
cleared the sink at the same time. Now he was heating
up the blood. She tugged at the large, long black
t-shirt and baggy jeans belonging to Spike.

Spike had been ignoring Willow from the minute she
changed into his clothes. He was * not * looking at
her wearing nothing but * his * clothes and walking
barefooted in his house. [Uh uh. No way am I going to
* not * jump her bones and shag her on the kitchen
table. Over my pile of dust.]

He found the image of her wearing his clothes very
sensual. [Like she and I spent the whole night
shagging and pleasuring each other. And the reason why
she's wearing my clothes is because I tore hers in the
process of getting it off.] Spike shifted slightly to
ease the discomfort in his tight jeans. He was
definitely going to shag her if he got a glimpse of
her in her clothes.

"Spike? Can I ask you a question?" Willow ventured
timidly.

"Yeah?" Spike still not looking at her.

"Why did you hang up those paintings for?"

Spike was thrown off balance by the sudden question
about his paintings. He expected her to ask about the
Kenny G CD or the waterbed, not about the paintings.
He recovered from his initial surprise immediately.
"It's mine and that's all you need to know. Why?
Trying to be an art critic. I'm all ears about your
reviews, Red."

Willow refused to be intimidated by Spike. She lifted
her chin higher and straightened her back, trying to
look as dignified as she could, wearing Spike's
clothes and barefooted. " I think that the paintings
of the sea represents your different moods and
feelings."

Spike felt an acute disappointment at her superficial
analysis. He expected her to be fully aware of the
symbolic meaning of the paintings and also the medium
chosen to him. Everyone who had seen these set of
paintings never saw it too.

"However, " Willow suddenly continued. " the different
scenes depicted of the sea perhaps represented the
stages in your life and what you long for. The calm
sea was of you before all the evil deeds and bad
things. Life was peaceful then. But the storm and
tempest came. They represented a cruel childhood maybe
or nasty teenage years fraught with pain and
suffering."

Willow fidgeted, taking a deep breath of air to carry
on. "Thus the hidden anger in this painting; the
intense bitterness and anger. Then the sunset
signified your change from a human born from the sun
to a creature of darkness. There is much joy but there
is a hint of sadness in all three paintings. I'm
babbling again……"

Willow stopped as she gazed into Spike's incredible
blue eyes. They captivated her, seduced her and like
an ice-cube in the sun, reduced her to a puddle of
water. Those eyes of his spoke of a admiration that
she prayed was for her and also a whole mixture of
emotions that she couldn't decipher.

Spike spoke gently, "I did those paintings myself
after I moved here. I finished painting them in a
week, never stopping to eat or rest. I used oil paints
as the medium because……"

"It’s because Angel does water-colors and you don’t
want to be in his shadow." Willow finished his
statement for him. Spike closed the distance between
them and cupped her cheek with his hand. He didn't
move, just stood there, his lust for her completely
replaced by something else.

The deep understanding Willow had of him amazed Spike.
It scared him. The women whom he lusted for did not
understand him at all. They were not supposed to.

He just stood there, his hand stroking her cheek
gently. The only thought in his mind was that he just
fell head over heels in love with Willow at that
precise moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If, out of time, I could pick a moment and keep it
shining, always, I knew, of all the days I have lived,
I'd pick the moment I met you and fell in love."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He just stood there, his hand stroking her cheek
gently. The only thought in his mind was that he just
fell head over heels in love with Willow at that
precise moment. [Love? Where the hell did that come
from? Bugger. I'm not in……Bloody hell.]

Yet he cupped Willow's soft cheek, not willing to let
go. He wanted to prolong the moment for as long as he
could to savor it. He had no idea how long they stayed
there and he didn't care. Green, insightful eyes
searching his brilliant blue ones. Suddenly, she
sneezed. The spell was broken.

Willow rubbed her nose sheepishly and looked at Spike.
The blond vampire was not acting like himself. He
was……brooding? Spike wore a stoic expression on his
face, similar to one of Angel's.

Willow was getting worried. [What did I do? Spike
doesn't brood. I mean I've seen him nasty and upset.
Even when Drusilla left him, he wasn't brooding. But
then again, he was quite drunk. All I did was to
comment on the paintings that he painted. * Oh.* ]

"Um……Spike? I think that the…uh…paintings are nice.
Not like Van Gogh nice but beautiful in their own way
and it's a healthy way to release your pent-up
feelings although I wouldn't want you to start leaving
portraits of us sleeping at our windows like Angelus
did because that would be way wiggins and….."

Spike suddenly felt an intense need to be alone. He
wanted to be alone to figure everything out. "Red,time
to leave." Spike said quietly. He walked into his
bathroom and gave her back the wet clothes. He
flinched slightly when a hurt and confused look
flashed across her features.

Willow tried to cover it up but she knew that it was
written all over her face. She left the apartment
without another word, confused and worried.

***********************************

Willow was not really aware of where she was going and
was quite surprised to find herself standing in front
of her house. She had been preoccupied about Spike's
odd behaviour. Granted that the vampire was acting a
bit un-Spike like but this huge mood swing and
confusion was a clear confirmation. It seemed as
though that Spike was more human then he thought he
was not.

And when he stroked her cheek with such gentleness,
she just lost her heart again. The look that he gave
her was one of surprise. He seemed to have trouble
believing something. Willow wondered what it was that
he had trouble believing.

All Willow knew was that the blond vampire was giving
her mixed signals. She wished she knew what was going
on in his blond head. She searched her backpack for
her keys and couldn't find them. She must have
forgotten to bring it out. [Well at least Angel's
definitely home. I hope he's not asleep yet.]

She knocked on the door and waited. Willow heard the
sound of rushing feet and the door swung open,
revealing a sleepy-looking Angel. As Willow entered
the house, she noticed that Angel was only wearing a
pair of black pants. Anya was sitting comfortably on
the couch and ogling Angel's back with an evil little
grin. "I'm sorry, Willow. I was sleeping. And Anya……"

Angel turned to stare at Anya, who plastered an
innocent look on her face. "What? I don't live here. I
have no obligation to answer the door." Anya
protested. Angel gave her a weird look.

Willow sighed and gestured upstairs, " I'm sorry for
waking you up. You go ahead and rest." Angel nodded,
giving the ex-demon another weird look before leaving
the two girls in the living room.

"He has great shoulders. And did you see that gorgeous
butt or what? If I weren't with Xander, I would go
after him. Does he wear leather pants? Now that will
be a sight to die for." Anya sighed dramtically.

"I nearly died the last time he wore leather pants."
Willow mumbled under her breath.

"Anyway, I'm here to find out about you and Spike so
give me the details." Anya looked at the redhead
expectantly. Willow had confusion stamped all over her
face. Anya gave her an exasperated look.

"You know. Details like kissing, how's sex? Is he
really that gorgeous up close and personal? Is it true
that vampires have lots of stamina?"

Willow flushed a deep crimson red. "Anya, we didn't do
anything."

"So nothing happened. I missed a chance at having sex
with Xander for this. But seeing that hot dark-hair
vampire sure made up for everything. If you don't get
Spike, the one upstairs is fine too."

"Anya! I do like Angel but only as a friend. I mean
there is……"

"…nothing between the both of you. I know. By the way,
Xander told me to ask if you were still planning to go
to the carnival with Angel..."

***********************************

Spike was having trouble understanding what had
happened to him when Willow was there. He felt like he
was supposed to be some brooding, romantic hero who
sweeps the ladies off their feet; the dark, romantic
hero with the tragic past; the only emotional outlet
being his paintings.

[Sorry to disappoint the ladies but I'm not the bloody
romantic hero. I'm just a bloke trying to get with my
unlife. I'm not some Nancy-boy or a whipped ass of
some chit. I do not frickin' fall in love. For me,
it’s plain old lust.] His Sire was the one with the
brooding, romantic hero profile. Not him; William the
Bloody.

It was a fact that Spike always felt the most
vulnerable when he was in a place he regarded as home.
It didn't help much that Willow had the uncanny
ability to see through him and understand him by those
damn paintings he did in a moment of weakness and in a
further show of insanity, hung it up on the walls.

He was not bloody brooding like Angel. He was not in
love with Willow and he was not jealous of Angelus
accompanying his Red to the damn carnival. [ Dead cert
about this, mate. I'm not affected by it at all.]

***********************************

"Wolf-boy, you free tomorrow night to go to the stupid
carnival?" Spike paced around the small motel room,
like a caged lion. He had gone to look for Oz the
minute the sun set. [ So I'm affected. Deal with it,
mate.]

Oz took out his guitar case from underneath the bed.
"Why?" Oz asked, a note of suspicion in his voice. He
took out his guitar from the guitar case and a piece
of clean cloth.

"Why what?" Spike scowled. "Can't a poor bloke have
some fun scaring the kiddies; terriozing the demon
population; winning the soft-toys?"

"Willow and Angel will be there." Oz started cleaning
his guitar.

"Oh come on. Think of it in this way. If you go with
me, you can * keep * an eye on me and *
prevent * me from killing Peaches." Spike stated.

Oz stopped his cleaning and considered the pros and
cons. Then he nodded his head. "Okay, I'll go. Just
don't let Willow find out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we are in love we often doubt what we most
believe" -- François Duc de La Rochefoucauld --

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow and Angel decided to go to the carnival later
than the others because of Buffy. Things were still
awkward between Angel and Buffy and Willow wanted
Angel to enjoy himself. She had a feeling that Angel
didn't have fun very often.

"Have I ever told you that I love carnivals? I love
the popcorn, the cotton candy and the rides. I
remember when I was still a kid, my father used to
bring me to the carnival. We would ride on the wooden
ponies of the carousel and go round and round. Then he
would bring me to the House of Mirrors and we would
laugh ourselves silly."

Willow stopped talking to catch her breath while the
dark-hair vampire waited, contented to remain silent
and let her carry on the conversation. " Oh look,
Angel. The carousel!" The redhead skipped happily like
a child to the turning carousel with its loud music
and white wooden horses and carriages.

"You want a ride?"

"Oh no. I'm too old for it already. But it does bring
those happy memories and not so happy ones too."
Willow let out a wistful sigh. " Ooh, look. Candy
apples. Let's go get one."

**************************

Angel's instincts had been going haywire the whole
night. He could sense someone or something following
them around yet he could not pinpoint its exact
location or its intentions. The dark-hair vampire
tried to shake off the feeling but it refused to go
away. [Sort of like Spike. Persistent, stubborn……]

He was deep in thought when Willow braked suddenly in
front of the House of Mirrors. Angel nearly crashed
into her. " I hope it's empty. Then people wouldn't
stare at you when they don't see you reflecting in the
mirrors." Willow said before giving a child-like grin
and tossed the entrance fee on the counter. She
snatched up a map, dragging the bewildered vampire
into the maze of mirrors.

"Uh……Willow, what are we doing here?" Angel shifted
uneasily as he gazed into the mirrors all around him.
Even though he had been a vampire for over 200 years
and was used to not seeing his reflection in mirrors,
he felt disoriented looking at the many mirrors and
distorted reflections of the redhead. Angel wondered
if these mirrors could reflect the real person inside,
what would his look like? He had a pretty good idea
that his would be……

"Angel, no brooding. I'm trying to relive my * happier
* childhood days." Willow could sense Angel going into
brooding mode.

" My father used to bring me to look at the mirrors
whenever they had a carnival here and I had lots of
fun. Did you have carnivals like these before you
became Grrrr? " She turned around to see Angel peering
in a certain direction. He frowned slightly. "What's
wrong, Angel?"

"Nothing you can see in the mirrors."

Willow gave him a quizzical look as Angel smiled
mysteriously. "Never mind. Let's try to figure how to
walk out of here."

***********************

"Bugger." Spike cursed himself as he heard the
statement his Sire made. "He knows we're here. That
soddin' idiot can sense me. Bloody hell."

Oz struggled to not say, " I told you so". Instead, he
followed the now scowling vampire round a corner. As
Oz looked at the mirrors around them, he found it
rather disconcerting that he couldn't see Spike at
all. "We should go."

"Oz!" Both of them froze as a female voice called out
behind them. Oz turned around slowly, fully expecting
to see a certain redhead. Oz sighed inwardly with
relief when he realised that it was Buffy. The blond
girl bounced up to him. "Willow told me that you left
for Seattle already but you're here with * Spike * ?"

" We are best of mates, me and Wolf-boy here." Spike
put his arm around Oz and pulled him closer to him. Oz
gave the grinning vampire a look. Buffy couldn't help
but stare at the rather intimate picture they made.

" Buffy, where's the rest of the gang?" Oz asked while
Spike decided to have a little fun at his expense.
Spike started ruffling Oz's hair with his free hand.
Oz gave him another look. Buffy's eyes widened with
disbelief as she took in the tender scene of the
over-friendly vampire and the embarrassed werewolf who
was fast regretting his decision to accompany Spike to
the carnival.

"I lost him and Anya in the crowd. I thought I saw
them coming in here." Buffy answered, looking at
everything but them.

"We haven't seen them." Oz answered while Spike
continued the attack on his hair.

"Well, I better be going now. Got to patrol after
this. Uh……you guys……nevermind. I don't want to know. "
Buffy hurriedly turned a corner of the maze and
disappeared.

"We don't have to be this friendly anymore, Spike." Oz
moved away from the vampire who had a diabolical grin
on his face.

"Come on, I had fun making the silly chit squirm. We
make a bloody good team, you and me. When you decide
to indulge in your dark side, you know where to find
me." Spike continued smirking as Oz started to fidget
slightly with discomfort.

"Uh……we still need to get out of here before oompf….."
Oz turned and ran smack into someone. He looked up and
saw Angel looking back at him.

"Look, Willow. It's Spike and Oz. Fancy meeting the
two of you here. What a coincidence." Angel drawled
out deliberately to provoke Spike.

"Ya, we sure are meeting everyone here. Buffy was just
around." Spike retorted, as he watched the older
vampire go broody for a minute before Willow appeared
from behind Angel.

"Really? Wait a minute, I thought you didn't want to
come and now you're here with Oz. Oh, hi Oz." Willow
gave Spike an accusing look before beaming at Oz. The
blond vampire seethed with anger but did not say
anything. Oz looked at his shoes.

" Hi Willow." Oz greeted her. " We were just leaving."
He nudged Spike who refused to step away from Angel.
Willow seemed to be the only one who did not sense the
turbulent undertones of tension and barely restrained
anger from both vampires. Oz cleared his throat,
nudging Spike harder in the stomach with his elbow.

Spike finally spoke up. "Ya, just leaving. Me and Oz
have other things to see, places to go, women to chase
and Peaches to kill. Bugger, I just told you that.
Guess we have to run. " Spike dragged Oz away in a
ungraceful manner.

"Uh…..what just happened?" Willow was totally
confused. Angel shrugged as he stared at the pair
leaving. [Guess he didn’t like what was reflecting in
the mirrors at him. Jealousy.]

*************************************

Willy, the bartender, stared at Spike and Oz with a
curious fascination as the vampire hauled in three
large boards through the entrance of his bar while Oz
stood waiting for him. Speaking in a cold tone, he
spat out, "Willy, trade these for that crate of
brandy." With that, the blond vampire stalked out of
the bar, into the cold, windy night; his only company
being the wooden crate with its blue bottled promises
of drunken bliss and Oz.

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