Disclaimer: All that I own is the plot to this story. Everything else belongs to the usual suspects.
Summary: Oz has left, and Willow is hurting. Her friends don’t want to listen, because they have their own lives to worry about. There is, however, somebody who doesn’t have a life, and is willing to listen.
Distribution: As long as I know where it will be, I don't mind people using my work.
Feedback: Yes please.
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Willow sat in Giles’ apartment, tapping away at her laptop. She was
researching on anything unusual happening in Sunnydale. When could something
be classed as anything other than unusual in Sunnydale?
Everybody had gone out for the night. Giles was with Buffy on patrol.
Xander and Anya were at The Bronze trying to have something they could
almost call ‘a date’. Riley was with his commando pals, and Spike was out
looking for a new crypt to live in.
She couldn’t stop thinking about how everything was so different lately.
She probably would have been joining Xander and Anya at The Bronze, with
Oz right now. She would be holding his hand under the table, smiling at
him. The world around them would disappear.
Tears formed in her eyes as she thought about Oz. She put her head in
her hands trying to stop herself from crying. She didn’t want to cry anymore.
She’d wasted too many tears.
Every time she was left alone, she would think about Oz. She didn’t
want to think about him, she wanted to talk to her friends. Feel like somebody
still cared for her. But they were all too busy. They didn’t want to hear
about her pain. She’d tried to do a spell to get over it, but all that
did was hurt her friends.
She sighed, enjoying the darkness she saw as her hands covered her
eyes. It was peaceful. She didn’t have to think about anything in the dark.
Her peace was suddenly destroyed by the vampire storming through the door.
“Found a great bloody place!” was the first thing he said, not realising Willow was the only one in the room.
Willow quickly picked her head up, wiped her tears away, and started typing again.
“It’s big, spacious, and I think it goes underground. So I won’t have to worry about getting a nasty tan if any of you decide to drop by for small talk” he continued, taking his leather duster off, and hanging it up.
Willow looked up at him. He hadn’t even noticed she was there. Everybody
forgot she was even there now. Would anybody really care if she went out
and got herself bitten by a vampire, or sacrificed to open the hellmouth?
Spike walked further into the apartment, and saw Willow sitting by
herself. He knew he could smell strawberries. He took in the scent of her
blood, and spoke.
“Oh. Where is everyone? I want to brag”
Willow coughed, fighting back tears. She thought she might cry if she even opened her mouth.
“Giles and Buffy are patrolling. Xander and Anya are at The Bronze, and Riley’s out with the commando’s.” she kept her head down at her laptop, not wanting to make eye contact.
Spike raised an eyebrow. Why had she been left alone when she’s still
grieving? She’s already pulled stunts with her magic. And nobody wants
a repeat of that!
He grunted, not wanting to think about kissing Buffy again. He walked
into the kitchen, and started warming some blood, then walked back round
to the living room and leaned on the wall.
He couldn’t understand why nobody saw that Willow was still hurting,
but him. It’s obvious! She’s hanging on by a thread.
“They left you all by yourself? Bit inconsiderate isn’t it?” he said, watching her tap away at her laptop.
“I’m fine” she told him, still not making eye contact.
Spike sighed. He knew she wasn’t fine. Her throat was all choked up.
Why did he even care anyway?
The microwave beeped, but Spike didn’t move. He stayed against the
wall, studying Willow. He had always been interested in her. So innocent
looking, but so much power was seeping through her skin. And that smell…
He took in her scent again.
…intoxicating! Her hair fascinated him too. He loved how red it was.
It reminded him of blood. And Drusilla. She would always wear red.
Willow glanced up at him, and noticed that he was staring at her. She
became uncomfortable.
“Your blood is beeping” she said, and started typing again.
Spike noticed the tears in her eyes. She’d been crying. The water made
her eyes look like gem stones.
He sat down in a chair slowly, and put his feet up onto the coffee
table, still staring at Willow.
“If I asked nicely, would there be a chance of you telling me why you’ve been crying?”
He fidgeted as Willow’s face turned to disgust. He knew why she’d been
crying.
“Silly sod” he muttered under his breath.
She probably wouldn’t tell him anything now.
“Sorry…stupid question” he said, not wanting to be turned into anything frog-like.
Willow sat back in the sofa, and stared at the wall in front of her.
Why was he concerned anyway? He was Sunnydale’s Big Bad. He’s tried
to bite her twice, and he wants to bathe in everybody’s blood. What does
it matter to him why she’s crying?
Spike knew what she was thinking. He was thinking it himself. He quickly stood up, rolling his shoulders a little, trying to make himself look intimidating.
“You don’t have to tell me. It’s been a boring night. Fancied hearing about other peoples misery for a change. Gives me a high. Nothing to it!” he told her, trying to redeem himself.
He gave Willow his best ‘Big Bad’ glare, and walked into the kitchen.
Willow kept staring at the wall, thinking. Spike was spending too much
time with humans. Any time soon, he’ll be falling in love and calling himself
a ‘good man’. Angel In the making.
She put her laptop onto the coffee table, and stood up, putting her
hands in the back pockets of her jeans. She walked over to the kitchen,
and sat down on a stool.
Spike was pouring his ruined blood down the kitchen sink.
He had his oh-so-famous red shirt on, and the black t-shirt that hugged
his body. She thought he was quite handsome for a guy who was over 100
years old. Why do all the good looking ones always turn out to be vampires?
It’s not fair.
She put her hands on the counter. The fingers on her left hand, played
with the ones on the right hand. She decided to talk.
“I feel like I’ve been hit with a sledgehammer 10 times.” Her face kept straight as she spoke.
Spike smirked, and put his mug down. He turned to face Willow, stretching his arms out at either side of him, resting them on the counter.
“And she speaks”
Willow didn’t carry on. His eyebrow rose once more.
“I may not have been your first choice of advice-getting. But I have lived for almost 200 years love. I’ve learnt a lot about humans. I know It’s hard to believe, but I *was* human once.”
Willow blinked at him. She didn’t understand why he lied about his age.
“123” she said, with a smirk appearing on her face.
Spike looked at her confused.
“What?”
“You’re only 123 years old. Why do you lie about your age like that?
It’s not exactly gonna make any difference” she told him.
Spike shrugged lighting a cigarette. He inhaled once, and then leaned back against the kitchen counter.
“Sometimes you have to lie about your age I guess. Especially when you’re a vampire. Makes you sound more important. Wiser. Stronger in some ways.”
Willow thought about what he had said for a little while. She understood what he meant, which she thought was quite strange.
“I get that…not the age part; because I’ve never done that…just, feeling like you have to make yourself seem wiser. More important. Stronger.”
Spike nodded his head.
“I’m starting to think your misery is based on something more than the departure of dog boy Red.” He said, before walking over to another stool, and sitting down.
Willow looked up at him, listening
“You shouldn’t think that you need to be something big compared to your pals” he told her.
Willow shook her head, but didn’t talk for a while. It was scary how
much he actually knew.
She bit her lip before talking again.
“It’s just that…everybody seems to be getting by in life with puns, sarcasm, strength, and…and beauty” she stopped for a moment.
She wanted to stop herself from talking. Spike didn’t want to hear her pain. He wants to cause it. She looked up at him, he was still listening.
“My life gets so messed up every time I try to make a go of it. I find something that makes me feel wonderful inside, then I drive it away…like Oz” she continued.
“Don’t be stupid!” Spike cut in, quite sternly.
“You didn’t drive *him* away. Don’t think that” he finished.
Willow was shocked at his outburst. Was that concern in his voice? Did
he care?
Spike stood up from his stool, confused at what he had just said. Why
did he say that?
Willow’s heart was beating faster. He could hear it. He walked into
the living room. Willow also stood up from her stool. They stared at each
other, not knowing what to say.
Spike stopped staring, and walked towards the door.
“I’ve got to be somewhere” he said, trying not to make eye contact.
He put on his duster, and grabbed the door handle, but he didn’t open the door. He just turned to look at Willow. He knew that his next move could change a lot of things. He should want to rip her throat out right now, but he wanted to do other things. He was wasting his time. She would never want…
“Spike” she cut into his thoughts.
He looked up at her. She moved closer to him, and he could hear her
heart racing. There was so much want in her eyes. But why?
Willow stopped moving closer. What exactly was she thinking? He’s just
gonna forget he ever wanted to kill her, and he actually likes her? He’s
a vampire. All he wants is the adrenalin of things. Sex…danger…but why
is it so tempting?
Her thoughts were interrupted by the vampire coming close to her, their
lips almost touching. He clenched his jaw. He wanted to stop himself.
He put his hands round her waist, and she put her hands on his arms.
He knew what he wanted to do, and he knew that she wanted it too. But it
was a bad idea.
She’s the best friend of the slayer. Bad territory when you’re trying
to avoid sharp wooden objects.
Their heads were still close. He moved in to kiss her, but stopped.
She looked disappointed, and went to kiss him instead. He made himself
pull away, and he rushed out of the house, giving her one last glance before
leaving.
Willow looked on, after him. She didn’t know what to feel. What had
just happened there? She should have pulled away first. But he did instead.
Why did he stay to listen? Why did he care? He didn’t want her, why would
he?
She fell back against the wall, and slid down to the floor, hugging
her legs.
“But why did he go to kiss me?” she said to herself.
She put her head in her hands, and groaned with confusion. She wanted
to run after him. Throw her arms around him, and kiss him. She shouldn’t
be thinking about him like that. Oz!
But she wanted him!
~~~~
It had been a few hours since Spike had left Giles’ apartment. Willow
was laid down on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t stop thinking
about Spike. Did she really want something to happen, or was she just looking
for an easy way of getting out of her grieving?
She groaned and closed her eyes. Why did she have to have such a complicated
life? She didn’t ask for one. It should be an easy situation. Spike is
evil…formerly evil…he’s a vampire. She shouldn’t feel anything for him.
But then again, she dated Oz. He was…is, a werewolf. That’s an evil thing,
right?
Her eyes opened and she gasped.
“Oh my god, I’m attracted to evil!”
She closed her eyes again. So the “It’s the quiet ones you’ve got to
watch out for” phrase is true then. But, no…Oz wasn’t evil. He was a great
guy. He loved her!
She was so confused. She didn’t want to believe that she had feelings
for Spike. That would be a bad place.
But did he have any for her? If so, what kind? The “I want to shower
you with hugs and kisses, and make love to while listening to Sarah Mclachlan”
kind of feelings, or the “I want to bang you against that tree and nibble
at your neck” kind of feelings?
She sighed and covered her face with her arm.
What kind of feelings did she want him to have for her? Love, or just
a release from all the pain?
Just then, Buffy, Giles, Xander and Anya walked through the door. Willow sat up and forced out a smile.
“Hey guys. Have fun?” she asked
Buffy put her weapons bag onto the floor, and walked closer to Willow.
“Boring, actually. I think I staked 3 vampires, and cut off the head of a Stale Bread demon, in all of the 4 hours we were patrolling” Buffy replied.
Willow raised her eyebrow
“Stale Bread demon?”
Giles coughed and also walked closer to Willow.
“Starlberd demon, actually.” He said with a small smile.
Buffy shrugged and went to hang her coat up. Willow stood up and walked over to see what Anya was so excited about. She grinned when she saw the shiny ring on Anya’s finger.
“Buying Anya pretty things are we Xander?” she asked with a smirk.
“Pretty, and very, very expensive” he replied, looking paler than usual.
Anya just smiled.
“Well, at least now I know you love me. You can buy me more pretty things in the future to show your love” she told him.
Anya took hold of Xanders hands, and they kissed. Willow smiled at them.
They love each other? It’s so soon!
The happy moment was disturbed by Buffy’s “Ewww” from the kitchen.
Everybody looked up, wondering what had happened. Giles put his glasses
on and walked into the kitchen to investigate.
“What is it?” he asked, entering the kitchen
Buffy turned to Giles with a disgusted face
“Giles, don’t you ever clean your kitchen sink? There is blood all over!” she told him.
Everybody came closer to the kitchen to see what Buffy was talking about. Willow’s eyes widened when she realised where the blood had come from. Spike. She had meant to clean that up before her friends got back.
“Good lord! You’re right. Willow…has Spike been over tonight?” Giles asked
Everybody turned their attention to Willow. She shrugged, trying not to think about Spike again…nope, not going to work…thinking about him again.
“He stopped by for a few minutes to brag about his new crypt.” She told everybody, trying to end the conversation as quickly as she could.
…And they talked about her problems, and they got all hot and bothered.
Then they nearly kissed, but he rushed out, and now all she can think about
is him…
She bit her lip, trying to calm her thoughts.
Buffy still looked disgusted.
“You’d think he’d have picked up some cleaning skills in his long lifetime” she said, turning back to the sink.
Xanders eyes widened
“Hold it. He has a new crypt? Finally…I can have the basement to myself again!” he said, grinning.
Anya smirked and grabbed hold of Xander again.
“We can have twice as much sex as we normally do, now!”
Everybody stared at Xander and Anya. Xander looked like he wanted the
hellmouth to swallow him whole, then and there.
Willow thought it was sweet.
“So what else did our fangless friend have to say for himself?” Buffy asked, changing the subject
Willow could feel her face burning up. She didn’t know what to say, but she needed to say something. Silence is suspicious!
“He just, really wanted to talk about his crypt. He didn’t have anything else to say, other than, his crypt…because he’s proud of that. His crypt, I mean.” She stopped herself.
She bit her lip again, keeping herself from talking. If her friends didn’t find that suspicious, then something was wrong with them!
“So, just his crypt then?” Buffy asked, smirking
Willow nodded. Her friends walked into the living room and sat down,
talking about their night. Willow leaned on the kitchen table, looking
at the door.
Did he need to see her as much as she needed to see him?
****
Spike was sat on the floor of his crypt, leaning back against the wall.
He was smoking a cigarette, staring at the door.
The slayer and co. would be back now. Willow has probably told them
about what happened. No…she wouldn’t, because then she would have to explain
why she didn’t push him away.
He banged his head back against the wall, not caring about the pain
that it caused.
He was so confused! It hurt more than the chip did. He wants her so
much but he can’t have her. Not unless he wants to make friends with an
ashtray. Why did he have to fall for the slayers best friend! Who’d have
thought he would fall for the redhead? Not him, anyway. He’d never thought
of her as anything but a blood lust. But now…
He sighed.
Maybe it wasn’t blood lust. Maybe it was just…lust?
He took another drag of his cigarette.
“Bloody hell, I need to see her!”
~~~~
It was the next day, and Willow was in her dorm room. Buffy had left
her alone, to go out with Riley. She hated being alone. When she was alone,
she thought about Spike. The thing that bothered her was that she didn’t
know if she wanted to think about him or not.
She sighed and walked over to her bed to lie down. What was she going
to do? Everything was messed up. She didn’t even know if he had feelings
for her.
There was a knock at the door, which startled her.
She didn’t move to answer the door. She wanted them to go away. She
didn’t feel like a people-person at the moment.
There was another knock.
She frowned, and waited for a moment. The person wasn’t going to go
away. She sat up and walked towards the door. When she opened it, her face
flushed.
“Spike”
Spike stood in the doorway, looking rough. He wanted to grab her and devour her mouth with his, but he controlled himself.
“Can I come in?” he asked, trying not to show how much he wanted her through his voice.
Willow didn’t move from the door. She wanted to keep a level head, but just seeing him made her heart beat three times as fast as it should do.
“I don’t know” was her reply.
“Please? I need to talk to you!” he couldn’t hide his need anymore. It was too much.
Just seeing her cleared his mind. Why did he feel like this about the
slayers best friend? A human! He was the Big Bad vampire of Sunnydale,
but here he is, declaring his want to her. He wanted her to let him in.
If she didn’t he wouldn’t be able to control himself. He’d have her in
the hallway if he had to. He didn’t care who was watching, just as long
as he could have her.
She stared at him. The look on his face showed that he felt the same
way she did.
“Buffy will be back soon” she said, breaking into the silence
So he didn’t have time to do everything he had planned. But he still needed to speak to her.
“I’ll be quick. Please, I just need to say a few things!”
She wanted to stop being a fool. He wanted to talk. That’s all. Was
it him that she didn’t trust, or herself?
She nodded her head slowly, and stepped away from the doorway.
“Come in”
He walked in and she shut the door behind him, but didn’t move any closer towards him. He turned around and stared at her.
“Yesterday…what happened?” he asked
She stared back at him. That was what she wanted to ask him.
“I don’t know” was her reply
He started laughing, quite insanely. Willow tilted her head slightly, and frowned.
“What, I’m a comedian now?”
Spikes face turned serious again, and he walked towards her.
“We both know what happened. We both know why it happened, and we both wanted it to happen. Admit it Willow!” he told her.
He had gotten closer to her now, and their bodies were almost touching,
but Willow didn’t move. She didn’t know what to do.
Spike could her heartbeat picking up again, but he could sense fear.
Fear of what…what he might do, or what she might do?
He slowly stroked her hair and cheek, trying to make her feel a little
calmer, and more relaxed. She closed her eyes and gulped hard. She knew
that if anything happened, she was going to be the one who hurt. She always
was. It had only just happened with Oz, and if it happened again, she’d
be broken.
She opened her eyes and shook her head.
“I’m sorry” she told him, walking away, but he had soon caught up to her.
“I’m going crazy Willow. You are too!”
“Of course I’m crazy. I have feelings for a vampire! That’s a crazy thing!”
Spike sighed, and stared at her
“That’s not what I said!”
They looked at each other for a few moments. Willow couldn’t stand it
any longer. She wanted to be close to him. She needed him.
She walked up to him, and he took hold of her, immediately kissing
her. There was no time to be gentle, because they knew it would be their
last moment of contact. She bit his lip, not knowing if it was intentional
of accidental. But he seemed to enjoy it. She could tell from the growl
he made.
He pulled her closer to him, and she gave entrance to his tongue. The
feeling made her moan into his mouth.
She wanted to stop. It couldn’t go any further. She had to stop…
She arched up into him, getting closer, and putting her arms around
his neck.
…That isn’t stopping!
She scratched his neck with her fingernails, which made him moan back
into her mouth. It really had to stop now.
She pulled away from him, and walked over to the other side of the
room.
“No more!” was all she said
Spike nodded his head slowly, and looked to the ground
“Right…no more”
He looked up into her face, which was full of passion, and he started shaking his head.
“Bloody hell Red, why not? We both want each other!” he told her, becoming annoyed
“We can’t have each other!” she started
“You’re a vampire, I’m the slayers best friend. I just broke up with Oz…one of us is going to get hurt…and I’m sick of hurting.” She finished
Spike stared at her, tapped the table which was behind him, then walked towards the door.
“I wont be able to get you out of my mind!” he told her, before grabbing the door handle.
“It’s for the best. Trust me” she told him
He turned back to face her
“I do trust you” he told her, before opening the door and leaving.
Willow watched him leave. His last words meant a lot to her. Small words, but they still meant a lot. He didn’t just think of her as a tasty treat. She meant more than that to him now.
THE END