Author: Sunshine
E-mail: dry.county@sollentuna.mail.telia.com
Disclaimer: Joss whedon. Joss whedon. Joss Whedon. Get the point?
Spoilers: Season 4
Classifiaction: Willow/Spike, Buffy/Xander
Summary: Willow thinks about moving on...does she have the strength or will?
she let love pass her by?
Rating: PG-13
Distribution: Sunshine's hiding-place eventually. If you against all odds want it you can have it if you send me the link to your site.
Lyrics: "November rain" by Guns´n Roses
Dedication: To Angela...
Author's Notes: As some of you know I'm having
a writer's block. Well, I found an old challenge somewhere and thought
hey what a good way to get over the writer's block. Maybe...Being sick
doesn't really help either. But anyway here it is.
Willow looked at Xander and Buffy. They were as always joking around, touching and kissing, making her feel even lonelier. She knew it wasn't their purpose, they tried hard to keep the trio's friendship as it had been the past years. But they always failed and who could blame them? Being so in love as they were. Xander had finally gotten the woman of his dreams… Willow suppressed a sob and closed her eyes for awhile. Being alone during fall was the hardest time to be alone. Not to talk about winter…Christmas Eve…No one to hold close. No one to say those precious words to…
"Red?" a voice called her and Willow slowly opened her eyes and looked into the blue eyes of the voice's owner.
"Spike!" she said and quickly removed a tear threatening
to fall down her face. Spike looked at her closely, noticing the sadness
in her eyes. He stroked her cheek and surprising herself she leaned in
for his touch. Spike smiled and she felt her own lips curl up into a soft
smile as he took her hands and led her out on the dance floor.
*When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same?*
Spike hold her close and the world seemed to disappear.
All she could see was his burning blue eyes. Wanting to tell her something…She
moved her body to the rhythm, closely to him. Shivering each time his hands
moved over her body, evoking feelings she hadn't let her feel in along
time.
*'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain*
Her feelings for Oz had slowly faded away. She
still loved him; she always would but her heart had felt frozen. But then…he
had come along. Reluctantly at first of course and he still acted like
they were putting him through a living hell but they had somehow come close.
He had saved her life several times and once she saved his. That night
they ended up sitting on the stairs leading up to her dormitory and they
had kissed. She still could feel his tongue exploring her mouth. Cold evoking
heat. A fire that somehow had suddenly stopped burning a few weeks ago
when he hit her during a fight…
*We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away*
She had said something about Drusilla that must
have hurt him a lot. She had told him the harsh truth, thinking he was
over her. She had been so wrong then…but how did he feel now? Willow looked
up into his eyes. Was he ready to let go? She knew she was, she'd been
ready a long time now.
*If we could take the time
to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain*
Spike's eyes told her he would stay if she just
showed him her love for him…but how could she be sure it wasn't just a
game he was playing? If he hurt her…she wouldn't survive it. Willow sighed
and leant her head against his chest and felt him lay his arms around her
pressing her close. She closed her eyes, feeling him even more. She needed
him so…But it was so hard to admit it to him. It had been so hard to admit
it to herself…
*Do you need some time...on your own?
Do you need some time...all alone?
Everybody needs some time...
On their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone?*
Maybe he wasn't ready to love again…after loving
Drusilla for centuries…maybe he was tired. Tired of love?
*I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you?*
Was his dead heart still healing from the ugly
wounds caused by his lover's betrayal? So many questions she didn't have
answers to. How could he expect her to take the first step when she barely
knew what his heart withheld?
*Sometimes I need some time...on my own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...
On their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone?*
Maybe it would be best to just let it be. People
were lonely…some she had heard even enjoyed it. It wasn't wrong or anything…it
was just lonely…But she needed someone to love. To be loved. And she knew
he felt the same way. That was the only thing she was really sure of.
*And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain*
Spike cupped her chin, raising her head to look
him in the eye. With her heart pounding she watched him lean in for a kiss.
Capturing her lips so tenderly but yet filled with so much passion that
if he hadn't been steadying her with his hands she would have sunk to the
floor. As they pulled back she looked at his face and stroked the scar
on his left eyebrow. "Spike…I do love you." She whispered and with a huge
smile on his lips he swept her off her feet and carried her out into the
starlit night.
*Don't ya think that you need somebody?
Don't ya think that you need someone?
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one*
The End