Rating: PG
Pairing: None this part
Summary: Willow and Cordelia have a night out, while Spike passes out.
Spoilers: Series begins just after ‘Lover’s Walk’, now a couple of years have passed, and we’re at the end of season six.
Disclaimer: I did not build the Buffyverse that would be Joss, it is merely my playground. The lyrics to ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ belong to Bonnie Tyler
Distribution: If you want it, fine by me, just drop me a line first.
Special Thanks: Kat for checking over my ramblings, Aden for always being happy to see me, and all the super cool people who send me feedback!
Feedback: Pretty please with sugar on top!
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“So
all this started because Spike wanted a new ‘princess’ to replace Drusilla?”
Cordelia asked somewhat shocked.
“Well,
yeah. I guess so,” Willow replied, somewhat amazed herself at the snowball
effect that one decision had had on the world around her.
“And
he chose you?”
“Yes
he chose me,” the redhead said somewhat hotly, “Why shouldn’t he choose
me?”
“Well,
no offence, Willow, really, but you were just some nerdy friend of the
slayer. You weren’t on cheer squad or anything cool like that.”
“Well
maybe Spike didn’t want to spend eternity with a brainless whore like you,
Cordy,” Willow smiled as she said it, but it wasn’t so much pleasant as
it was a barring of teeth.
“Meow!
Down kitty. I’m just saying that, considering he went out with Harmony
after you got locked up in the loony bin, I’m just a little surprised that
he had such a thing for you. I mean, I always just figured he took you
to upset Buffy.”
“Harmony?”
Willow asked weakly, feeling suddenly ill, “Umm, Cordelia, let’s talk about
something else, okay?”
As
usual, Cordelia knew she had said something to upset her hacker friend,
but having never learned the art of being tactful; she wasn’t exactly sure
what it was. So she simply nodded and tried to come up with something else
to talk about while she waited for the sun to go down. The seer fledgling
had only been newly dead for a few days and was still getting the hang
of things. She kept waking well before sunset, leaving Willow to entertain
her until it was dark enough for her to go out and hunt.
At
first Willow had strongly objected to the idea of turning the ex-cheerleader.
In her mind, making Cordelia of all people a demon would be like evil overkill.
But Angelus was determined in his decision. He pointed out that having
a direct line to the ‘powers that be,’ could come in handy later on. Willow
still wasn’t convinced. This girl had tortured her, her entire childhood.
In her mind making Cordelia immortal was a reward, not a punishment. However,
when Angelus pointed out that the seer would have to go the rest of eternity
without a reflection, Willow’s mood brightened and she agreed.
It
was petty of her, but Willow already took pleasure in ‘helping’ Cordelia
get ready to go out at night, doing her hair in unflattering do’s, and
applying enough make up on her to make her look more like a clown than
a woman. The first night she had done it, it took all of Angelus’ self
control not to burst out laughing, while Drusilla pouted because Willow
never painted her up like a dolly the way she did Cordelia. Willow had
just smiled at her deranged friend, and conjured her some magical rainbow
colored fish that swam around the vampire’s head for the better part of
an hour making her squeal with delight.
So
now, here they were, getting ready for another night out. This time it
was to be just the two of them. Angelus had spent the last three nights
training his new childe, and Drusilla was beside herself with sibling rivalry.
So Willow had offered to take Cordelia out for the night so Angelus and
Drusilla could have a little quality time. At first Cordy was angry. She
didn’t understand why Drusilla should get special treatment just because
she was so old. After all, Angelus was her daddy too, right? But soon she
became excited at the prospect of a girl’s night out. Angelus could be
so strict that she was looking forward to cutting loose a bit.
“Oh,
I know where we can go tonight,” Cordelia said suddenly with enthusiasm,
“We can go to this demon bar I know called Caritas. It’s really cool!”
“But
I’m not a demon,” Willow said, unsure if a demon bar was the place for
her.
“Well,
not yet. But that’s okay, humans go there too.”
“Okay,
I guess.”
Willow
let the ‘not yet’ comment slide, not wanting to discuss Angelus’ plans
for turning her. He had been pressing the issue quite a bit lately, finding
every possible opportunity to nuzzle her neck, like a cat marking her with
his scent. He had also insisted she watch the turning process with Cordelia,
with the excuse that it would be educational, of course. However, what
he really wanted to show her was how pleasant an experience it could be,
seducing the cheerleader so completely that in the end she gave herself
over to him willingly. Willow had watched the display with interest, and
had to admit that she found it quite arousing, but that was beside the
point. She cared for Angelus, but she did not love him, and never would.
She had made that mistake once, but she was a quick learner and was determined
not to repeat this error. And without love, what was the point of living
forever?
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Spike
wobbled unsteadily on his barstool, nursing a strong drink, while Willy
eyed him warily. The blonde vampire had been in every night that week,
each night getting more drunk than the last, which Willy hadn’t thought
possible given that each night he drank continuously. Eventually it became
evident that the heartbroken demon was consuming alcohol and nothing else.
Willy knew vampires couldn’t technically starve to death, but he had heard
once that a vamp that goes too long without blood could suffer brain damage,
and from the looks of it, that was what Spike was trying for.
“Shwilly…gimme…s’more,”
Spike slurred heavily, holding on to the bar with some effort to keep from
falling on his ass.
“Tell
ya what, Spike, how’s about a nice bloody mary, heavy on the blood?”
“No.
Want wishkey,” he said like a defiant child, slamming his empty glass on
the bar, sending him toppling back and off his stool.
Willy
watched him go down like a ton of bricks, not really sure if the fall had
knocked him out or if he had already passed out and that was why he fell
in the first place. The little man sighed heavily, grabbing him by the
legs and pulled him into the back room. It was nearly closing time anyway.
He shooed away a trio of Glasnost demons, and closed up for the night.
Then he headed back to the storeroom and popped open a blood bag. He sat
the unconscious vamp up a bit, and began pouring the blood in his mouth.
Spike’s
starved body reacted immediately, gulping down the blood convulsively.
He had emptied six packets before he settled into a somewhat restful slumber.
Willy covered him with an old tarp and made sure the window was totally
covered before going home for the night. He didn’t know what had happened
to set the vamp off on such a bender, but whatever it was it must have
been bad. He wasn’t sure why exactly he was helping him; after all, he
had nothing to gain from it. Still, he just couldn’t stand to see anyone
suffering that much. And here the slayer was always saying that Willy the
snitch didn’t have a heart.
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“A
demon karaoke bar? You’ve got to be kidding me, right?” Willow asked in
amazement as they entered Caritas, and were greeted by the sight of a pair
of orange skinned demons sporting bunny like ears, singing their own rendition
of ‘Blowin’ in the Wind.’
“Yeah,
it’s great, huh?” Cordelia replied enthusiastically, enjoying the look
of shock on Willow’s face. “Come on, I think I see a free table.”
Cordelia
grabbed Willow by the arm and began swerving in and out of the packed tables,
making their way toward a spot that had recently been vacated. Lorne had
been watching the pair on stage, trying not to cringe as they slaughtered
a perfectly good song, when he caught sight of the ex-cheerleader out of
the corner of his eye. Immediately he began making his way over to her
and her cute little friend to say hello. However, as the green empath demon
drew nearer, he couldn’t help but notice that something about the seer
was definitely different.
“Cordy…umm…lovin’
the new look, cupcake,” Lorne managed to get out finally, taking in the
girl’s neon blue eye shadow and bright red lips and cheeks, not to mention
her hair that seemed to defy gravity, sticking up at odd angles all over
her head.
“Thank
you, Willow says it’s the latest rage in Paris,” Cordelia beamed back.
The
green demon glanced at the devastating redhead who was barely able to hide
her smirk at Cordelia’s words. ‘Well,’ he thought, ‘she managed to pull
one over on Cordy. Not bad.’ Lorne moved closer then to give his friend
a hug, but stiffened when she embraced him and her aura collided with his.
Vampire!
“Well,
you’re just full of surprises tonight, sugar,” he said sadly, pulling away
from her. “How long have you been dead?”
“See,
Willow, I told you he was smart. I’ve been a vamp for a few days now, and
it’s sooo great, what with the power and the living forever. But I gotta
say I’ve been missing my mirror time. If it wasn’t for Will here helping
me out with my hair and my make up, I don’t know what I’d do.”
Lorne glanced again at the redhead, no longer sure what to make of her.
She seemed human enough, but sometimes it was hard to tell. One thing was
for sure, she was either very powerful, or just had some serious guts,
palling around with a fledgling vamp, who were prone to attacking anything
that moved, and to then go a step further and publicly humiliate her. Willow,
it seemed that name was familiar to him somehow, but he couldn’t quite
place it at the moment. Turning back to Cordelia, he felt the sadness in
his heart again. She was so young to have died like this. It really was
a waste.
“So tell me, kitten, does Angel know yet?”
“Of course he does, silly! Who do you think turned me?”
The shock on Lorne’s face was obvious, his hand reaching out to grab
a chair for support. Willow moved beside him quickly, shooting Cordelia
a glance that clearly said for her to keep her mouth shut. The redhead
reached out to help the host into the free chair, and asked Cordy to go
to the bar and fetch them some drinks. When they were alone, she looked
at the green demon a little more closely. Cordelia had told her all about
him and his ability to set people on the right path. It was an impressive
gift. `
“Are you all right?” she asked evenly.
“No, not really. I find out one friend is dead, another has gone evil,
and my sea breeze is all gone to-boot,” he said, looking down at his empty
glass.
Willow slumped down into the chair next to him, wanting to offer him
some words of comfort, and coming up empty. It was always hard losing people
you care about, but this time she had been directly responsible for somebody
else’s loss. She hadn’t thought much about how her actions would affect
innocent bystanders. She didn’t know this guy but she still felt guilty
for hurting him. Finally she gave up trying to find some truth or wisdom
over all that had happened, and simply lay her pale hand lightly over his
green one, looked into his eyes, and said the only thing she could.
“I’m sorry,” and what’s more, she meant it.
The sincerity of this act took Lorne back a moment. He could tell from
her brief touch that she was in fact human, and definitely powerful, but
not evil. He smiled at her weakly, letting her know he appreciated the
gesture. He then moved to get up, but just as he did a sea breeze appeared
on the table before him. He glanced up to see Cordelia had returned with
drinks, and this time he was the one having trouble not laughing at her
appearance. He relaxed in his seat again, and to his surprise, soon found
himself engrossed in conversation with the witch and the vampire.
The green demon felt an instant rapport with Willow, enjoying her quick
wit and obvious intelligence. She regaled him with tales of her travels
overseas, often sticking to the adventures of her and Drusilla once she
noticed how uncomfortable he was whenever she mentioned Angelus. Several
drinks later they were all laughing and joking like old friends.
“I gotta say sweetness, that you are something of a surprise,” Lorne
addressed Willow with a grin, “Most humans don’t usually get along so well
with vampires.”
“Oh, well that’s Willow for you, straight out of the hellmouth,” Cordelia
said, somewhat tipsy. “She’s like some kind of catnip for vamps, you know?
I mean, I love her, Drusilla loves her, even Angelus wants her for a mate,
and well Spike, Spike loved her so much, he kidnapped her twice!”
Willow flinched noticeably at Spike’s name, and the hurt in her eyes
was an almost tangible thing. Lorne decided to steer the discussion away
from something so painful for the sweet little redhead, and instead take
it where he had wanted it to go all night.
“So, Willow, how’s about singing a little song for your new favorite
demon?” Lorne asked, trying to keep his voice casual.
“What, you mean on stage? Where people can actually see me and hear
me? No way!”
“Oh come on,” Cordelia prompted, “After everything you’ve done, surely
by now you’ve got a little backbone.”
It was a challenge, and Willow felt obliged to rise to the occasion
and prove to Cordelia that she was no longer the scared little geek she
had been in high school. The redhead approached the stage, picked out her
song, and stood at the mic to sing, trying to fight down the urge to throw
up. She closed her eyes and focused on the intro music, before timidly
beginning to sing. Soon she was lost in the flood of emotions that were
pouring out of her as the words poured out of her mouth.
“…Once upon a time I was falling in love,
But now I’m only falling apart,
Nothing I can do,
A total eclipse of the heart.
Once upon a time there was light in my life,
But now there’s only love in the dark,
Nothing I can say,
A total eclipse of the heart…”
Willow belted out the Bonnie Tyler song with such a force of emotion,
that several of the audience felt their breath catch in their throats,
they were so moved. When it was over there was a standing ovation for the
girl and cries for an encore. The redhead’s eyes snapped open in surprise.
She had been so caught up in the music that she had forgotten all about
the audience. Her face flushed a deep red as she stumbled from the stage
with her hands in front of her face, trying to cover her embarrassment.
Lorne quickly hopped up on the stage to try to settle the crowd a bit,
as he discreetly wiped tears from his eyes. He called for the next singer
to come on stage, and felt a bit sorry for the short, frog looking demon
who was going to have to follow such a powerful act. The crowd was going
to eat him alive, although not literally thanks to the sanctuary spell.
Thank god for small favors, right?
Lorne quickly caught up with Willow, who had headed straight for the
bar and another drink. His head was still swimming with all he had seen
while she was singing. He had seen her past, all she had endured, and all
she had done. He couldn’t agree with some of her actions, but he could
definitely understand them. Now, the only question was whether he could
put her back on the right path before anyone else got hurt, including Willow.
Lorne somehow doubted it, but he had to at least try.
“We need to talk, puddin’,” he said softly in her ear, before instructing
the bartender to keep an eye on Cordelia, and steering Willow to a more
private booth he normally used for consultations. After they both were
seated, he stared at her intently for a couple minutes, trying to think
where to begin. When he saw the girl before him start to look uncomfortable,
he decided to just jump right in, and see where they ended up.
“Let me first say that you were simply fabulous, and if you ever decide
you want to get into the biz, just let me know. I can hook you up with
some good people.”
Willow nodded slightly, and gave him a weak smile at the obvious compliment.
It normally would have made her feel fantastic to hear such praise, but
she knew Lorne had been reading her while she was singing, and knew also
that he had learned more about her in just a few minutes than most people
had in her entire life. Somehow, she doubted he would have anything good
to say about what he had discovered.
“I’m not sure what to say to you, sweetness. Normally with this gig,
the path seems clear, and my job is easy. But you’ve had some major bumps
on your road, as you already know. Heck, you set Angelus loose, not to
mention the torturing and killing people. These were not the best decisions
you could have made,” Lorne paused for a moment, expecting her to protest,
or at the very least to try to explain away her decisions, but she didn’t.
She simply looked at him, her face blank, but her eyes swimming with emotion.
“Look, I’m not trying to judge you. I don’t have to agree with what
you’ve done to understand it, but the path you’re on now is going to get
you killed.”
He tried to let this sink in for a moment, watching for her reaction,
but there was none.
“And your point is?” Willow asked finally, her tone a bit cold.
Lorne
was a little taken aback by her casual response over her own untimely demise.
It was clear to him now that some part of Willow wanted to die, but he
was determined to change her mind.
“The
point is, cupcake, you have people who love you, and need you.”
“You
don’t know what you’re talking about. I have monsters in my life that either
want to possess me or have tea parties with me. They don’t love me, they
don’t even know what love is, and neither do I for that matter.”
“I’d
say that your son, William, would disagree with you there,” he came back,
watching with a bit of fear as Willow’s eyes flashed black with hurt and
rage at the mention of her son.
“You
would be wise to never mention that name to me again. I did what I had
to. It was necessity, not love. I failed him as a mother.”
“On
the contrary, muffin, only true love could be so self sacrificing. I know
a lot of horrible things have happened in the past, but now is the time
for you to move on and heal yourself,” he tried putting a comforting hand
over hers, but she jerked back like she had been burned. Tears were welling
up in her eyes. She couldn’t listen to anymore of this.
“I’ve
got to go. Angelus will be mad if we’re not back soon,” Willow said with
a small sob. Seeing his chance slip away, Lorne redoubled his efforts.
“Willow,
pumpkin, you need to forgive the people who have hurt you, and most of
all you need to forgive yourself.”
She
stood, giving him a small chuckle and a hard stare. Forgiveness was not
a word that existed in her world. The redhead turned away from the green
demon, and waved her hand to get Cordelia’s attention. It was later than
she thought, and Angelus’ new child was clearly hammered. ‘Oh, yeah,’ she
thought, ‘Angelus is going to be pissed.’ She started heading toward the
door, motioning for Cordelia to do the same, when she heard Lorne’s voice
call over the crowd after her.
“It’s
time to go home Willow. He’s waiting for you there.”
She didn’t bother to turn around. She just kept walking toward the exit, trying not to think about his last words