Rating: PG-13
Pairing: None this part
Summary: It’s time for Willow to go home, but who will be there to welcome her?
Spoilers: Series begins just after ‘Lover’s Walk’, now a couple of years have passed, and we’re now at the very end of season six.
Disclaimer: I did not build the Buffyverse that would be Joss, it is merely my playground.
Distribution: If you want it, fine by me, just drop me a line first.
Special Thanks: Kat for checking over my ramblings, Aden for always being happy to see me, and all the super cool people who send me feedback!
Feedback: Pretty please with sugar on top!
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Willow
woke with a start at a sound in her room. She looked around frantically
for Spike, but found only Drusilla.
“Noooo!”
she cried out in anguish when she realized it had been a dream.
Drusilla
immediately moved over to the bed to comfort her friend, pulling her sobbing
form into her arms and rocking her gently. They stayed like that for some
time, until Willow was finally all cried out. The deranged vampire turned
Willow’s face toward her own and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
“You
were dreaming about your daddy, Spike,” it wasn’t a question.
“How
did you know?” Willow asked in confusion.
“The
stars told me silly,” Drusilla replied as if the question had been completely
ridiculous.
“But
Dru, it’s daylight, the stars aren’t out.”
“Little
tree, when will you learn that just because the stars aren’t where I can
see them, doesn’t mean they don’t still speak to me. Just like you and
my Spike don’t need to see each other to speak to each other.”
“What
should I do?” the redhead asked softly.
“You
must go home, but then you already knew that, poppet.”
“How
can I? Angelus will kill him if I do.”
“Yes,
my daddy will be very cross with both of you, but Spike is still his childe.
I do not think he will kill him.”
“That’s
not terribly reassuring.”
“Well,
poppet, Miss Edith and I can only slow him down a little, but in the end
he will find you. Daddy does not like to share, especially with Spike,
but maybe you could change his mind, then we could be one big happy family
again!”
Willow
thought that scenario was unlikely at best, but didn’t really know what
else she could do. The dream had begun to fade already, until all that
she could remember was the pain of Spike’s suffering, the humiliation,
but also that he still loved her. She had to go home, Drusilla was right.
“I’m
going to need some time. Is there anyway you can distract Angelus for a
while?”
“Oooh
yes! I can tie him up! It will be so much fun!” Drusilla squealed with
glee, clapping her hands together.
“Dru,
honey, I’m going to need a bit more time than that. A few days at least.”
“I
can tie him up for that long,” Drusilla assured her hopefully, but Willow
could only imagine the punishment the crazy vampire would have to endure
for such an act.
“Tell
you what, why don’t I just have a little talk with him,” Willow said, pulling
herself out of her bed, and reaching out to take Drusilla’s hand.
The
pair of them padded down the hall on naked feet toward Angelus’ room. Willow
could feel her heart rising into her throat in fear. She knew she was powerful
enough to incinerate Angelus’ with just a few words of Latin, but she was
hoping that wouldn’t be necessary. She didn’t love the dark vampire, but
she did care about him, and what’s more, Drusilla loved him. She did not
want to have to kill him. She just hoped he left her some other choice.
It
was dark in his room, but Willow was used to the dark and could see with
little trouble. Drusilla waited patiently, giving Willow’s warm little
hand a gentle squeeze, offering her support. The redhead smiled up at her,
and then leaning up, brushed a soft kiss across the dark beauty’s lips.
Willow crossed over to the bed then, removing Cordelia’s gag and bindings,
but the new fledgling shook her head, fear clearly visible in her eyes.
The redhead gave her a sympathetic smile; she knew what it meant being
punished. If Cordelia left without permission, the next punishment would
only be worse. Willow glanced at Angelus’ bare back and could practically
feel the tension coming off of him.
“Angelus,
is she free to go for now?” Willow asked knowing full well he was awake.
“She
is,” he replied tensely. He knew as well as Willow did that whatever was
about to be discussed between them was better done without an audience.
Cordelia
gave Willow a grateful look and mouthed the words ‘good luck’ as she climbed
from the bed naked and reluctantly took Drusilla’s hand. As they walked
from the room, the redhead took a moment to marvel at how dark Cordelia
looked next to the older vampire. Her tan hadn’t yet begun to fade, but
soon it would. Willow had never seen the girl when she wasn’t a nice golden
brown and wondered briefly what she would look like with startling white
skin.
“Are
you going to sit or just stand there watching my childer?”
“Sorry,
just thinking,” Willow said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, “We
need to talk.”
“Have
you decided to become my mate?” he asked, sitting up slightly so he could
look at her.
“No.”
“Then
we have nothing to talk about. Come back when your answer is yes,” he replied
laying back down with his back to her.
“I’m
sorry, but the answer will never be yes,” Willow said softly, watching
as his muscles tensed, but he didn’t say anything, so she continued. “Angelus,
I’m leaving.”
This
did get a reaction. He sat up quickly, grabbing her by the arm. There was
no surprise in his expression, only anger.
“You
ungrateful bitch! After all I’ve done for you, how dare you talk about
leaving me!”
“That’s
a joke, right? I mean what exactly have you done for me except beat me,
torture me, rape me, and make my life a living hell?! What have you done
for me?!” Willow asked in outrage as she wrenched her arm away from him
and stood to pace the room angrily
“I
made you strong! I helped you find the strength to exact your revenge!”
Angelus raged, springing from the bed, naked, to pace along with her.
“Strength,
hah! You tried to take my soul. You tried to make me into a monster,” she
replied coldly.
“What
soul? I never turned you into a monster, I just helped you get in touch
with the darkness within you, the evil was already there just waiting to
get out.”
His
words struck her like a fist. He was right, and it terrified her. Angelus
hadn’t turned her into a monster, she already was one, otherwise how could
she have done so many horrible things.
“Is
that why you want me, because I’m a monster?”
“Yes…no…I
don’t know, I just want you. You’re the first woman, the first anyone,
to see me as a man in more than 200 years. I don’t want to lose you,” he
said softly, slumping onto the foot of the bed in defeat.
It
was one of the rare moments when Angelus looked vulnerable, and it immediately
made all of Willow’s anger evaporate. She sat on the bed next to him, not
knowing what to say. She wanted to say there was someone out there for
him, but after more than 200 years, she wasn’t sure it was true. He looked
at her then, and his dark eyes were filled with such sorrow and loneliness,
that she had to look away.
“You
can’t lose me, because I never really belonged to you in the first place,”
it sounded harsh, even to her, but it was true. “The only reason I could
ever see the man within you is because of Spike. Being in love with him
taught me to see past his demon, and that’s how I can see past yours too.
I care about you, I do, but I can’t love you.”
“And
if Spike were to die?” his voice was calm, but there was a dangerous edge
to it.
“If
something happened to Spike, I still wouldn’t love you,” Willow said, trying
to remain calm, “But I would kill you.”
There
was the ring of truth to her words, and she turned her head to look into
his eyes once again to be sure he understood that it was not simply an
idle threat, she meant it. Angelus stared back at her, and felt a small
shiver run down his spine. There was no misunderstanding between them.
Suddenly his face split into a wide grin that looked more like a barring
of teeth than anything pleasant.
“All
right then, you’re free to go,” he said, his voice even.
“Just
like that?” Willow asked unsure.
“You’ve
made it abundantly clear that you don’t want to stay, so I release you.
I assume you were planning on going home?”
“Well,
yeah, that was the plan.”
“And
was the plan still to kill all your little friends for their betrayal?”
“Well,
no. I sorta thought I’d forgive them,” she said weakly, making Angelus
suddenly boom with laughter.
“Oh,
little one, you are still so painfully naïve. Do you really think
that you can just forgive them and they will take you back with open arms?
They betrayed you because they didn’t care about you. And now you think
you can just run back home and everything will be like it was? You’re a
killer now. The slayer is going to pick up on that. If you’re lucky all
they’ll do is turn you in, but if your not lucky, well, they don’t call
her the slayer for nothing.”
It
was like Angelus was verbalizing her worst fears, but she was determined
to try anyway. She swallowed down the hard lump in her throat and put her
resolve face firmly in place.
“Even
if that’s true, I will still have Spike.”
“Ah
yes of course, Spike. Did you ever wonder why he never came for you? I
mean surely after more than a hundred years of being a demon, you’d think
he would have enough connections to track you down, but he never came.
Did he?”
“He
tried to, it wasn’t his fault. The government put something in his head,”
she replied defensively.
“The
government put something in his head?” Angelus asked with genuine curiosity.
“Yeah,
a chip or something. Made it so he couldn’t hurt anyone. That’s why he
never came for me.”
Angelus
laughed again, so hard it made tears come to his eyes. Normally he would
be outrage to hear of such a thing happening to one of his childer, but
Spike was his rival and had always been a thorn in his side. He couldn’t
conceal his delight at his childe’s suffering. Willow flinched at his reaction,
but soon felt anger rising once again within her.
“It’s
not funny, you bastard! It’s been really hard for him, feeling weak, unable
to protect himself against humans, he even had to ask Buffy and the others
for help!”
Her
words however, did not have the desired effect as they only made Angelus
laugh harder, until he finally rolled off the bed and onto the floor, clutching
his side to try to slow his fits of giggles. Willow heard a noise behind
her then, and turned to see Drusilla peeking her head through the door
in curiosity. She looked back and forth from the witch to her sire, and
back again. Willow just threw her hands up in frustration, heading for
the door. Drusilla held it open for her, still a bit thrown by the scene
in front of her. She had expected to return to find one of them dead; she
had not expected this.
“Goodbye,
Angelus,” Willow said over her shoulder as she left the room, leaving Drusilla
standing in shock, her sire still rolling on the floor.
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Spike
woke screaming, tears rolling down his cheeks. He had had her, for just
a little while, she had been with him, but now she was gone, and it was
more than he could bear. It had seemed so real, but now that he was awake,
he wasn’t completely sure. One thing he was sure of though, was that he
needed to find Willow. Now.
The
sun was almost down, but not quite, so Spike dropped through the grate
in Willy’s floor that led to the sewers, and started walking toward the
slayer’s house. One way or another, he was going to make that bitch talk.
He may not be able to hurt humans because of the chip, but Buffy didn’t
fall into that category anymore, and he had no problem with hurting her
if it meant finding Red.
By
the time he reached Revello Drive the sun had been down for awhile and
the moon was hanging in the sky like a spotlight. Spike slid back a manhole
cover, and climbed his way out onto the street. As he approached the slayer’s
house, he saw a light come on in the bathroom window upstairs.
Buffy
was limping somewhat from a vamp encounter. ‘Stupid fledgling’, she thought,
‘they’re supposed to be easy.’ She couldn’t believe that the first vamp
of the evening had so thoroughly kicked her ass. In the end she had staked
him of course, but she felt thrashed, and decided to call it a night early
so she could ease her pain with a hot bath. She ran the taps almost as
hot as they would go, and began looking around for the bubble bath, when
she heard a noise behind her. She turned to see Spike coming through the
door, and shutting it behind him, making her sigh in frustration.
“Spike,
get out,” she said with more conviction than she felt.
“Buffy,
we need to talk,” he replied, his voice somewhat hoarse from all the crying
and screaming he had been doing lately.
“We
have nothing to talk about. I told you, it’s over between us”
“This
is not about ‘us’,” he responded with a harsh laugh, “Believe it or not
slayer, the whole world doesn’t revolve around you. This is about Willow.”
“Well,
save your breath then, because I’m not discussing her with you.”
“Look,
slayer, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way, but you ‘are’ going
to tell me what you know.”
“All
right, you want to know what I know, fine. After we saved Willow from you,
she went crazy from some blood thing, and her parents had to commit her.
Giles thought it would pass, but it didn’t. I didn’t want to believe she
was really crazy, but you heard what that detective said, she killed somebody
Spike.”
“That
man deserved what he got and more,” Spike said through clenched teeth with
barely contained rage
“Wrong,
Spike. I don’t care what crazy Willow thinks that guy did to her, no one
deserves to die like that!
“Oh
really?! Well let me show you what that man did to her, and then let’s
decide, shall we?” Spike said, lunging forward and pulling the slayer to
the floor, beneath him.
“Spike,
what are you doing?! Stop!” After all the time they had spent together,
she had forgotten he was dangerous, and now with the realization that he
was going to try to rape her, she was truly terrified.
“I’m
going to make you feel it bitch, feel just what she did,” he screamed at
her, his eyes glazed over with rage as one hand held her arms above her
head, the other ripping open her robe and tearing at her panties.
“Spike…No…please!”
she sobbed as she struggled against him.
Suddenly
Spike was struck by a flash, a memory of Willow being raped the first time.
Her terror washed over him, and it felt like his own. The realization of
what he was doing hit him, and it made him sick. Here he was trying to
rape Buffy, and it made him no better than the man who had raped his Red.
Spike felt suddenly ill as he loosened his grip on the struggling slayer
beneath him. She sensed her opportunity and brought her foot up, kicking
him hard in the chest, and sending him flying across the room. He sat there
in a heap on the floor for a moment, trying to collect himself. When he
finally looked up at her, his eyes were full of pain and remorse.
“Buffy,
I’m so sorry,” Spike whispered.
“Get
out,” Buffy replied, her voice shaking slightly as she pulled her robe
closed around her.
Spike didn’t try to explain or apologize again, he simply stood and left, his head swimming with the emotions of what he had just tried to do. He was worse than a monster. He had just made himself into the very thing Willow hated more than anything else. Sure, in his past he had tortured girls, killed hundreds, thousands of them, but he was not a rapist. But now that had changed. If he hadn’t recalled that moment from his dream, he would have gone through with it. He didn’t deserve to be with Willow, what he deserved was to be punished, to suffer for all the pain he had caused her, for failing to protect her when she needed him most. Maybe if he suffered enough, he would once again be worthy of her love. Then it struck him, he knew just what he had to do.