Rating: NC-17 (Some pretty brutal and at times rather violent sex in this one, so be warned if you’re squeamish. Then again, if you are bothered by that sort of thing, then I’m confused as to why you would still be reading this fic, but hey to each their own!)
Pairing: W/S
Summary: Spike is home again, but something is very wrong with him, (gee I wonder what it is), and now Willow has to try to find a way to help pull him out of his dark state.
Spoilers: Series begins just after ‘Lover’s Walk’, now a couple of years
have passed, and we’re now at the very beginning of season seven.
*Spoiler Warning!* The story line is up to season
seven now, and while most of it will be different from the current season
storyline, there may be some elements taken from the show. So, if for some
reason you have yet to see any of season seven (such as you’ve been living
in a black hole or have been in a coma), be forewarned, potential SPOILERS!
Disclaimer: I did not build the Buffyverse that would be Joss, it is merely my playground.
Distribution: If you want it, fine by me, just drop me a line first.
Special Thanks: Kat for checking over my ramblings, Aden for always being happy to see me, and all the super cool people who send me feedback!
Feedback: Pretty please with sugar on top!
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Willow looked down in shock on the blanket covered heap that was Spike. It hadn’t been a dream, he was here with her. She leaned down to touch him, but just then a noise like an old car horn sounded behind her and she whirled around, letting out an unflattering squeak before spotting Xander fast asleep on the couch. Clutching her hand to her heart, the redhead let out a shaky sigh of relief. She remembered now that Xander said he was going to stay over. The redhead quickly and quietly moved through the house shutting all the curtains before focusing her energy on Spike and watching as he slowly started to rise off of the floor. He was definitely bigger than a pencil, but she had rested enough to regain her strength, so moving him to the master bath off of her parents room wasn’t too difficult.
He looked terrible. Willow laid him on the white tile floor while she ran a hot bath. His skin was beyond pale. He looked peaked even for a vampire, and it was obvious he had lost weight as well. His hair was dirty, hanging limply around his face in a mass of tangled curls. He obviously hadn’t bleached it in a while, and for the first time Willow could see his natural brown color underneath white blonde tips. As the tub filled, she stripped away his clothes, having to practically peel his filthy jeans off of him, no underwear though. Apparently some things never changed. However, the redhead stopped short when she opened his new short leather jacket to reveal his naked chest covered in scratches that seemed to congregate around the center, as if something had tried to claw his heart out. Normally such marks would have healed almost instantly, but malnutrition must have weakened his recuperative powers.
Willow stripped off her own clothes and climbed in the hot bath, then used her levitation trick to lower him into the tub with her. She was surprised he was still unconscious. Her spell had surely worn off by now, but his own exhaustion was keeping him under. No matter, he would come to when he was ready. In the mean time she was content just feeling the weight of his body resting against hers. She picked up a large bath sponge and began gently washing his shoulders and chest when he began to stir.
Spike’s eyes drifted open like a lazy dreamer. His hands seeking out Willow’s and pulling them flush against his chest, over his heart. She could feel the slight roughness where his perfect flesh had been torn at repeatedly. She leaned her head forward and planted a light kiss over his jugular, and suddenly he jumped, flinching away from her.
The blonde vamp twisted around, turning hollow eyes on her as if he had just realized his surroundings had changed. He looked panicked, like a caged animal. She reached her hand out to him and he skittered as far away as the tub would allow, sloshing large amounts of water over the side and onto the floor.
“Bad, very bad. Mother told me what happens to bad boys who make time with wicked ladies. Very, very bad,” he muttered softly, covering his eyes now to avoid seeing her nakedness.
“Spike, what are you talking about? It’s me, Willow. Remember?” she asked softly, reaching out to touch his arm gently.
“Not real. Red’s in my head. Not real.”
“Spike, what happened to you?” she asked, afraid of his answer.
“The spark,” he said with a slight giggle that quickly turned to a frown, “the spark for my Red.” He looked at her then with such intensity that it felt more like a touch than a look. The crazed vampire had a flash of almost recognition, reaching out, nearly touching her vibrant tresses before pulling his hand back quickly in fear. “Fire, fire, in your hair! Fire, fire, everywhere!”
Willow had never seen Drusilla when she had been at her worst, but she had heard stories, and they weren’t too far off from what she was seeing now. Something had broken him, badly. The question was whether he could be made whole again? She had to try.
“Spike get control of yourself, you are stronger than this!”
Spike’s demon raged within him, trying to free itself once again from its new bonds. The struggle inside of him caused him to shake violently. His demon had waited years to be reunited with his mate, and now that she was here, he couldn’t pull himself together enough to even reclaim her. The demon fought harder, his face shifting to reveal his vampire façade, causing Willow’s heart rate to increase with a combination of lust and fear. It had been a very long time since she had been afraid of any vampire, especially one she had learned to love and trust. But insanity made all creatures unpredictable at best.
The smell of her fear and arousal was the sweetest aroma Spike’s demon had ever smelled. He reached across the tub, grabbing her by the hair, pulling her to him. Spike crushed his mouth against hers, kissing her with such force and passion, that Willow struggled to pull back long enough to breathe before returning the kiss with the power of her own desperate need. But just when she had begun to think that some part of Spike was still rational, he pulled back, clutching his hands over his eyes, and shaking violently.
Willow didn’t understand what was happening, but it was obvious to her that at least his demon was unharmed, buried perhaps under a broken psyche, but still intact. She needed to call his demon out, coax it into taking control of her lover until she could make some sense of his mind. But how do you coax a vampire’s demon to the surface? With blood of course.
Climbing from the tub, Willow walked to her bedroom, and soon returned with a long dagger. She looked at the man she loved, and without hesitation made a sharp slash across her wrist. She knew as her blood began to well to the surface that it was deeper than she had intended to go, but still was not life threatening. The effect on Spike was almost instantaneous. His head shot up, his demon face returning. He climbed out of the tub slowly, his eyes never wavering as he stalked toward her like a wolf hunting its prey.
As he drew nearer, Willow began backing toward the bedroom, climbing onto the large bed, leaving a trail of blood along the way. Her heart was pounding in her chest, as she hoped he wasn’t so far gone as to actually harm her. However, watching him move with such unwavering intensity made even death seem worthwhile if it was by his hands.
He crawled on to the bed, his arousal evident as he sniffed the air around her. He took her bloody hand in his, bringing her wrist to his mouth, his jaws working convulsively as he took in her blood in greedy gulps. Willow’s grip on reality began to grow hazy as her life force was drained away from her. ‘Yep,’ she thought, ‘as death goes, not so bad.’ She had resigned herself to dying in the arms of her lover when suddenly he stopped his assault on her vascular system, and pushed her down fiercely on the bed.
Again he kissed her with overwhelming passion, but now the taste of her own blood added to the sensation. She had just enough presence of mind to wrap a corner of sheet around her wrist to slow her bleeding, before he began his exploration of her body.
Hands trailed over her flesh, but not gently. With only his demon in control, Spike was more like an animal than a man, pawing her roughly, pinching with calloused fingers, nipping her flesh with now human teeth. He worked his way down her body, marking her flesh with many red bites that were sure to become bruises, and all the while he did it with a constant stream of growls and other primal sounds.
Willow moaned loudly as he found her right nipple, sucking it into his mouth and biting down hard, leaving a ring of red teeth marks around it. Meanwhile his hand trailed over to her other nipple, pinching it hard enough to cause pain to shoot through her. But, after spending so much time in the company of vampires, pain for the most part just equaled more pleasure for her now, and she arched her back, pushing herself harder against him.
When he moved to take her other breast into his mouth, he paused a moment, eyeing the old bite mark he had given her, suspiciously. His demon clearly remembered marking her, but didn’t recall the scar being quite so obvious. However, these thoughts quickly escaped him as Willow harshly pulled his head to her chest, grabbing his hair, and raking her nails down his back, leaving long red trails in their wake. Spike’s demon growled fiercely, biting down on the rosy tip hard enough to draw blood this time.
Willow growled in return, snaking her hand down to finger her swollen nub, but Spike would have none of that and yanked her hand away before rolling her over slightly and giving her a sharp slap on her backside. The redhead whimpered in frustration and need, but she knew this game and would play along. Spike continued to nip his way down her stomach until he finally reached her mound of cinnamon curls. He buried his nose in her curls and breathed deep the scent that was Willow, spicy, intoxicating.
He flicked his cool tongue across her hard nub, and felt a surge of pride, knowing how easily he dominated her, how he was the one to make her quiver. The blonde vampire pushed her thighs apart to gain better access to her core. He wanted to taste all of her. But, as he spread her creamy thighs farther apart he couldn’t help but notice the mound of scar tissue hidden between her legs. He knew that mark, because Drusilla had had one exactly the same. It was the mark of his sire, Angelus.
Spike reared back, screaming with rage. She was his! Willow belonged to him! Yet once again Angelus had taken what was his, and in his fragile state, it was more than his demon or his mind could handle. Spike lunged forward, grabbing the redhead by the throat, smashing her head against the headboard hard enough to put a crack in the wood. Willow felt things start to slip from perception as she fought to maintain consciousness. She didn’t know what had happened, but this was no longer simply rough sex. Judging by the look in her lover’s eyes, he was going to kill her.
The blonde vampire hauled his precious princess off the bed by the hair, and held her upright long enough to belt her across the room. Her back hit against the oak dresser set hard, and she couldn’t help but wonder momentarily how Xander could sleep through so much noise happening right above him. The thought left her though as she saw Spike stalking towards her again. She knew she was a powerful enough witch to simply eviscerate him with a few words of Latin, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. However, her survival instinct was still there enough that she tried to crawl away from him, but she only succeeded in looking more pathetic.
Spike grabbed her from behind as she tried to pull herself away from him. Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice was screaming at him that this was wrong, but his demon smacked that voice down, just as he smacked Willow down. He rolled her over, reveling in the waves of fear coming off of her. She was terrified, and he was glad. He would remind her just who her master was.
Using one knee, he forced her legs apart a moment before slamming his cock into her. He didn’t even wait for her body to adjust to his presence before beginning a brutal rhythm. As the moments passed and Willow realized that he wanted to fuck her, not kill her, she allowed herself to enjoy the feeling that was building inside of her. It was crazy, and very, very wrong, but she loved this man, and wanted to have him any way she could.
Spike’s demon marveled at the amount of abuse his mate was able to take, and still be ready and willing for him. It was no wonder his sire had wanted her. He was just thankful that the bastard hadn’t turned her. That pleasure would be his, just as she would be his for all eternity. He could feel her muscles begin to tense in her abdomen as she was reaching the high point. Her face was flushed, and there was blood running down her chin from where he had split her lip. The smell of sex and blood hung heavily in the air as he pounded himself into her, filling her until he could feel his tip brushing against her cervix.
The blonde vampire heard a low moaning escaping from her bloodied mouth, a moment before she began spasming around him. The force of her orgasm rocked both their bodies and drove him over the edge as he filled her with his cold seed. He felt her blunt teeth clamp down on his shoulder, drawing out his release as she filled her mouth with his blood again and again. His demon growled savagely, pulling her head back and he struck, sinking fangs deep into her. He had waited too long to turn her in the past and had nearly lost her forever. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.
Willow watched the world slip away, her body no longer in pain. She felt almost as if she was floating. Lying there, listening to the sucking noise of Spike bringing her life to an end, she felt calm, happy. Then the blackness swam across her vision.
Spike pulled back from her. He had taken enough of her blood that if he left her now, she would die, but he had no intention of leaving her. He lifted himself off of her, and pulled her into his arms as if cradling a child. Suddenly his behavior toward her was very gentle. He bit into his wrist and held it to her mouth. They would spend eternity together, they would be mated forever. Even the little voice in his head had stopped screaming at this thought. They belonged together.
However, before he had the chance to feed her his blood, his strength, Spike head was rocked to the side by a wooden chair smashing against his skull, knocking him unconscious, and throwing him back away from Willow.
“You monster! I’ll kill you!” Xander screamed at the vampire as he stared down at the scene in front of him. “I’ll fucking kill you!”