Summary: Willow has to come to terms with her recent decisions, and being around Spike isn’t going to make it easy for her. Meanwhile, Angel and Buffy realize finally that Willow is missing.
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Buffy woke to the sound of the phone making an urgent
intrusion into her restful sleep. She rolled over and begrudgingly picked up the receiver.
"Mmmfellom" she mumbled.
"Buffy, is that you," Angel asked slightly amused.
"Yeah it’s me, and since when do you call me on the phone? I thought you only knew how to sneak in my window with dire news."
"Very funny. I’m at the library with Giles. We’ve been doing research all night, and we were kind of hoping you and Willow could come help out."
"Ok, what about Xander?"
"We already sent him out for donuts."
"Oh good, because if I’m going to be getting my research on, I’m going to be needing plenty of jelly donuts."
"We asked him to get one box of just jelly."
"And that’s why I love you. I’ll call Will and have her head over to the library."
"We already tried, but she didn’t answer. We thought maybe you could stop by."
"Yeah, she’s been pretty mopey lately; it’s really starting to get on my nerves. Maybe I’ll take her out on a shopping spree after our research party, it always cheers me up."
"Well, just try to hurry. We’re running out of time on these Sephlar demons. If we don’t find something about the sacrifice soon, people are going to die." With that Angel hung up the phone.
‘And a cheery goodbye to you too.’ Buffy thought as she hung up the phone and headed for the shower.
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Once Buffy was standing outside Willow’s house, her spider sense kicked into overdrive. She tried pounding on the door before digging the spare key out of the flower pot and letting herself inside. As soon as she came through the door, her foot connected with a couple days worth of mail that had been fed through the slot, sending it scattering across the entry room floor. She called out for Willow; getting no response she stepped over the mail and headed upstairs to her room. Once there she immediately noticed that her bed had not been slept in, but other than that everything seemed fine. There were no signs of a struggle, and if she didn’t know better, she would guess that Willow had simply gone to visit a friend for a few days or something, but Willow didn’t have any friends besides her and Xander.
Buffy tried to think back to the last time she had seen or talked to her, ignoring the panic that was quickly rising into her throat. Research at the library on Friday, it was now Sunday. This was not good. Willow had been missing for two days, and no one had noticed?! She hadn’t noticed?! She grabbed Willow’s phone and frantically called Giles.
"Hello, Buffy? Is that you? Do calm down, I can’t understand a word you’re saying. Have you learned something about the Sephlar demons?" Giles asked somewhat bewildered.
"Giles, forget the big bad for a minute. We have a bigger problem. Willow is missing!" Buffy shouted, letting her panic get the better of her.
"Willow, baby, wake up. It’s time to go." Spike said gently, helping her sit up, "here pet, I want you to eat something." he said handing her a carton of fried rice.
"Where am I?" she asked woozily, taking the carton with shaking hands.
"We’re at the motel, remember? Now eat up, we need to get going."
Willow looked down at her naked body, the sheet was pulled across her waist, but her bare chest was fully exposed. She tried to pull the sheet up to cover herself, spilling half her dinner in the process. Giving up she let the sheet drop back down and went to work on the rice. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was. When was the last time she ate? Friday. It was now what, Sunday maybe? So much had happened in such a short time. She had been kidnapped, and now she was on the run with a legendary killer, but all she could think about was that she’d had sex with Spike, more than that; she had lost her virginity to him.
She tried to recall what it was her mother had said about virginity once. Something about it being nothing more than a patriarchal tradition to expect a woman to wait until she was married, while a boy could only become a man through premarital sex. Of course this conversation didn’t actually involve her; her parents had never really given her the sex talk.
She had learned about sex on her own, when Xander stole one of his Uncle Maurie’s porno’s. She had been mortified at what she saw, and couldn’t look at Xander for weeks without turning bright red. Looking back on her "sex education", she didn’t think it had adequately prepared her for this. Although, Uncle Maurie’s porno’s and last night’s escapades did both leave her feeling dirty.
Spike watched Willow shovel rice into her mouth as she stared off into space. She was simply gorgeous. Her pale skin, and rumpled hair, together with the way she had simply left the sheet hanging around her waist, giving up on modesty, she looked thoroughly debauched. She was irresistible. He wanted to ravage her right then, but they really did need to get back on the road.
It was obvious the incident at the Bronze the other night had left Willow feeling like her friends didn’t care, but he knew better. Despite what a bitch Slutty could be to his Red, he knew on some level she and that dolt Xander did care and would eventually come looking for them. And then there was that bastard sire of his, there was no way he was going to let him anywhere near his princess. He rose out of the chair, snuffing out his previously forgotten cigarette, and laid out some clean clothes for her, before gathering together their few belongings.
"You have time for a quick shower if you want, but try to hurry."
"What, no fancy dress tonight?" she asked eyeing the jeans and T-shirt.
"I thought you might be more comfortable in these, but if you would rather something else, I’ve got a few things in the bag…"
"No, these are fine. I’ll just be five minutes in the shower."
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Before long they were off and driving again. And again it was in silence. Spike had put on some Sex Pistols for their listening pleasure, but every time he tried to strike up a conversation she simply tuned him out, and would go back to lightly stroking the wound on her neck.
They stopped a couple of times for gas and food. Spike didn’t make any scenes, and Willow didn’t try to escape. At the last stop Spike grabbed a truck driver on their way back to the car, breaking his neck quickly and draining him dry. Willow flinched as she watched the scene through the painted over windows of the Desoto. When Spike returned, she couldn’t look at him.
"What’s wrong baby? You’ve been quiet all night." Spike asked with concern
"Do you like it?" she responded coldly.
"Like what luv?" he asked, a little confused.
"Do you like killing them?" her emotion was unreadable.
"Yeah, I am a vampire you know." He said simply.
"And when I’m a vampire will I like it?"
"Yeah pet, you will."
"Do you remember what it was like to have a soul?" her tone was no longer judgmental, just curious.
"Nah, I remember my life before, but not my soul. I mean I know there were people I cared about and all that rot, but once I was turned, none of it mattered. I’m not sure how to explain it, the world was just different."
"Sounds lonely."
"Not really, I had new family, new hobbies."
"Yeah like killing people."
"Hey don’t knock it. Besides, there are plenty of miserable mortals out there; I’m just bringing them a little eternal peace."
Willow couldn’t help but smile at this. She knew he was joking, and that it really wasn’t funny, but the absurdness of her situation still made her want to laugh. The rest of the night was continued in silence until they pulled into a cheap motel, again just before dawn.
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The moment they were inside Willow shed her clothes and headed for the shower. Spike was a little surprised at the way she stripped like it was nothing, but it was a pleasant surprise. He gave her a few minutes before undressing as well, and heading into the bathroom, where he was immediately overwhelmed by a cloud of steam.
Stepping into the shower he expected to startle her somewhat, but she simply looked up at him from under the jet of scalding hot water. Spike noticed her skin turning a bright shade of red where the water was washing over her; she had turned the taps way too hot, and was being scalded. Spike reached around her to turn the temperature down a little, but she quickly slapped his hand away.
"Leave it."
"Willow, it’s too hot. It’s burning you."
"I like it."
He looked at her vacant eyes, and then forced her out of the way to turn the temperature down. She didn’t move to stop him this time; she simply crumpled to the shower floor. Spike switched off the shower and set it to fill the tub instead. He then moved around behind Willow, sitting down and pulling her toward him. This was no good. He wanted her a little crazy, but not catatonic. He wondered if Angelus went through this same thing with Dru, although he doubted Angelus would have ever tried to comfort Drusilla.
He was soft. It was why Dru had left him in the first place, and now he was being soft again. But when he looked down at Willow’s pale form, with her head resting limply on his chest, he couldn’t help himself. He could be a little soft for her. He stroked her hair and slowly washed her body with delicate strokes as the tub filled around them. By the time it was full, he had finished washing the both of them, and just sat holding her in the steaming water, planting gentle kisses on her forehead. When he felt the water start to cool he drained the tub, wrapped a towel around her and carried her to the bed.
After drying her off, he placed her under the covers and went about preparing the room. Once he finished he slipped into bed next to his princess who instantly wrapped herself around him. He pulled her hot body tight against his cold one, breathing deep the smell that is Willow. He knew the cinnamon smell was from her soap, but he didn’t know where the clove smell came from, maybe it was just a part of her. As he was thinking about this he felt her hand trail its way down his chest to gently stroke his hardening shaft. He pulled her hand away and looked into the green pools of her eyes.
"Willow, not that I wouldn’t love to shag you pet, but why are you doing this?" he asked huskily.
"Because when you touch me I don’t feel quite so numb. If I stop to think about it too much then I get scared, so no thinking, just touch me."
At that he descended upon her, his mouth devouring her flesh. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, stroking her hot skin, making her tingle all over. She moaned softly as his lips brushed against her nipple. He sucked it into his mouth and she gasped, pulling his head closer. He then snaked his hand down between her legs sliding two fingers into her hot core as his thumb rubbed against her clit. She winced slightly at the pain from their previous night’s coupling, but the pain was soon replaced by jolts of pleasure building inside of her. His mouth returned to hers in a bruising kiss, his tongue entering her mouth to do battle. After a minute he backed off slightly, giving her a chance to breathe.
"Spike," she gasped, "in me, now, please."
She didn’t need to ask twice. Removing his hand, he entered her quickly, causing Willow to let out another gasp of pain and clutch his shoulders tightly. He thrust into her with a steady rhythm, working them both toward their much needed release. He tried to hold his concentration, not wanting to arrive before her.
"Willow, cum for me baby," he groaned into her ear.
The sound of his voice and his cool breath in her ear pushed her over the edge. As her slick walls clenched around his pulsating cock, she cried out and bit down on his shoulder, drawing blood into her mouth. The feel of her biting him and drinking his blood was just too much. He felt his balls start to tighten as his demon came to the fore and he shot his dead seed into her hot womb.
Afterwards they lay intertwined, Spike stroking her hair, and Willow stroking his chest. Spike felt content, happy. Things were going well, and soon they would be far enough away that they would be able to stop running, and he would teach her what being a princess was all about.
"Spike, will you ever leave me?" she asked as she absently reached up to lightly run her fingers along the brow ridge of his demon visage, startled slightly when his face returned to human.
"Never baby." he answered without hesitation.
"And no matter what, you’ll always want me?"
"Always." He said, emphasizing his words with a little squeeze.
"Ok then." and with that she lifted her head to give him a small kiss before drifting off to sleep.
He wasn’t sure what she had meant. Was she now ok with the situation? It seemed a little soon, but he could hope right? Pulling her closer he drifted off to sleep himself.
The next few nights continued on the same way. They drove all night, rarely speaking, and stopping just before dawn to stay in some dingy motel where Spike would spend half the time shagging his redheaded goddess senseless. Then at dusk they would pack up and move on. Willow was starting to wonder if they would ever reach their mysterious destination. She knew they were heading northeast, but other than that, she didn’t have a clue.
All their hours spent driving in silence had given her plenty of time to think, too much time. She felt she was losing her grip on reality. The first couple of days, Spike had kept such a close eye on her that there were no opportunities for escape, but the last few days he had slacked off a bit. She had plenty of chances to make a dash for it, or even to kill him, but she hadn’t. She didn’t know why, all she knew was that she apparently wasn’t the girl she thought she was.
She wasn’t about to delude herself into thinking she was in love with Spike, but he did appeal to her in a twisted way. It wasn’t a sex thing, although she had no complaints there, it was more like a bizarre sense of security he gave her. She knew she was going to die, but she didn’t have to fear it because he would bring her back, and more than that he had promised not to leave her, no matter what.
She was tired of the people who were supposed to be there for her, just turning their backs and walking away. However, when she stopped to think about it all, she still couldn’t shake her nagging sense of doubt. This was not who she was. She didn’t bed down with killers, heck, she didn’t bed down with anyone. Maybe she was just suffering from some sort of mental condition common to kidnap victims, where they sympathize with their captors, like Sharon Tate. What was it called again? Her mind was still rambling, even if her mouth wasn’t. All these thoughts were driving her crazy, and so was the silence. She needed to get her mind off things for awhile.
"I want to drive," she said suddenly, startling Spike.
"What’s that pet?"
"I want to drive, I’m bored."
"Sorry baby, but I can’t let you do that."
"Why not?"
"Because it’s not proper for a lady to drive." he said simply.
"What!? Not proper!? And I suppose eating people is?"
"It is if you’re a vampire," he replied with a smirk.
"You let me drive the other night."
"True, but as I recall I was also stoned out of my mind."
"You are such a sexist pig! I suppose you think it’s wrong for women to work too?"
"Nah, I like women working, it’s so much easier than trying to lure them out of their homes to kill them. But no lady of mine would ever work."
"I can’t believe you! Haven’t you ever heard of the sexual revolution?"
"Sure I have. It was bloody brilliant getting all those chits to stop wearing their bras, I don’t know why some bloke didn’t think of it sooner," he said with a chuckle. He was glad they were finally talking, he was starting to worry about the girl, but it looked like there was still some fire left after all.
"You know Red, if you want to give up your bras, I won’t stop you. In fact, we can get rid of all your knickers too if you like," he said, laughing again.
"You’re such a pig." she muttered to herself.
"You already said that luv."
"What about fighting?" she asked, still scowling.
"What’s that pet?"
"Fighting. I suppose you think it’s wrong for women to fight too?"
"Nah, I love a woman who knows how to hold her own. Drusilla could be bloody brutal when she wanted to."
"And you didn’t feel threatened by this?"
"Nope, she still needed me for lots of stuff."
"Like driving?"
"Precisely so."
"Whatever," she said in exasperation, "can you pull over soon; I have to pee."
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At the next stop Spike made quick work of a waitress that had been outside on a cigarette break, before heading back inside to find something to keep Red busy for the rest of their drive. He looked over the magazine racks, unsure what to pick. With Dru all he needed to do was pack her dolls along and she was happy, maybe that would work with Red? He doubted it though.
He finally settled on a couple of women’s magazines with articles like, "10 Tips for Keeping Your Man Happy", and "Hot New Looks for Spring". On a whim he also grabbed a couple of romance novels off the rack by the counter, causing the teenage boy working the cash register to raise an eyebrow, barely containing his smirk.
"They’re for my lady," he said with a growl.
"Sure they are buddy" the kid said as he started to ring up the items.
"You probably wouldn’t find it so amusing if I were to come over there and tear your throat out. Oh, and I’ll take a carton of reds while you’re at it," he said with deadly calm, making the boy flinch as he hurriedly pushed the reading material and cigarettes into a bag. Once back in the car he pulled the carton out of the bag and passed the rest over to Willow.
"What’s all this?" she asked confused.
"You said you were bored, so I thought you might like something to read," he replied nonchalantly.
"Beauty magazines and romance novels?" she asked arching an eyebrow.
"Well I know they’re not spell books, but at least you can learn the ‘hot new looks for spring’."
"Did you already forget our talk about women’s equality?"
"Hey, men can read these things too, I happen to like books with lots of sex and violence."
"Oh really, you like romance novels?" she asked with a smile.
"No. Of course not." he answered somewhat uncomfortably.
"Hah! You do! You like trashy romance novels!" she exclaimed, bursting out in laughter.
"I do not! And besides, they’re not trashy. Some of them have very good stories!" he exclaimed, thoroughly exasperated.
Willow laughed again, before opening one of the books and beginning to read out loud.
"Saffron spied Dirk across a crowded room, his chest heaving…"
"Look it’s been five days, and we still know nothing." Buffy said in exasperation.
"I’m aware that we still have no leads, but we must not lose hope Buffy. If she had simply been killed the police would have found a body by now." Giles replied in what he hoped was a reassuring voice.
"Yes, but what if she wasn’t just killed, what if she was turned by some vamp? We didn’t notice she was gone right away, she could have come back already." She tried to fight back an uncontrollable shiver.
"True, but if that was the case, we probably would have heard something. Generally a newly risen vampire will strike out at the people they were closest to while they were alive. That would mean you and Xander." Giles said, unsure if he believed it himself, "No, I think there is something more to all this, I just can’t put my finger on what exactly that is."
Just then Angel came striding into the library wearing a grim look. Ever since they had discovered Willow was missing, nearly all their time had been consumed searching for her, with the exception of the previous evening when Buffy and Angel had narrowly stopped a ritual sacrifice held by a pack of Sephlar demons.
"Bad news," Angel started, "Seems that Spike was spotted in town a few days ago, around the same time Willow went missing."
"Spike?! How did we not know this?"
"Apparently he was trying to keep a low profile. I only found out now because Willy the snitch had a couple of vamps in the other night bragging about how they helped Spike snatch the slayer’s little friend."
"Well, what did these vamps say?! Have you even talked to them yet?!"
"They said Spike wanted to stay close. They were supposed to wait for him to call and then they were going to join him in L.A."
"But she’s alive right?! I mean what good is a hostage if she’s dead right?!" Buffy asked, trying to convince herself more than anything.
"I think so. They said something about Spike wanting to keep her alive for a bit. Something about making a new princess. I think he wants a replacement for Dru."
"Eww, gross! You don’t think he’ll hurt her do you?" she asked, realizing as soon as the words left her mouth how stupid they were.
"Well, if it’s anything like when I broke Dru in, then it will take some time, which means she’s probably still alive, but he’ll want to break her down, which means torture." He answered uncomfortably, feeling an extra stab of guilt for having done the same thing to Drusilla.
"Then we have to hurry. You drive to L.A. and see what you can beat out of the locals. I’ll go to work on the vamps around here; maybe he’s left another minion or two lying around."
And with that Angel gave the slayer a reassuring hug and a quick peck before heading out for Los Angeles.
Willow woke with a slight start when she felt the car pull off the highway. She must of dozed off while she was reading because she had been having some ridiculous dream about standing on a cliff in some flowing gown while kissing Fabio, only he had Spike’s head. It was all too weird. Maybe she had malaria.
Spike had watched the red head drift off; he knew how exhausted she was. He enjoyed watching her sleep; she looked so fragile if not peaceful, but he knew there was great strength beneath the surface. Generally she would toss and turn, sometimes even crying while she slept, but there were times when she was simply calm as if she weren’t dreaming at all. Fortunately those times had been increasing over the last few days. He didn’t want her to suffer. It was true he was more than willing to torture her to get what he wanted but he didn’t want to give her unnecessary pain. Well, except for the good kind, he and Dru had always enjoyed a good whipping now and then. He shook the memory off, trying to ignore his growing erection at the mere thought of taking a whip to his new goddess. Now was the time to think of more important things, because they had finally reached their destination.