Summary: Spike Wants Willow to join with him in the ritual of Lubov, but the Scoobies have other ideas.
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Willow tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position to lie in. All day she had been like this, unable to sleep. She simply had too much on her mind. Tonight when the moon was at its height, she would become Spike’s mate. She knew she was ready, it was what she wanted, but inside there was a little nagging sense of doubt, well fear really. She was afraid of what it would mean to lose her soul, and where that illusive part of her would go once she was turned. Would her soul go to hell? And if it did, would there be any part of her left, or would she simply become a demon wearing a Willow suit? It was odd, because her true fear was not that her soul would be sent to hell for willingly giving herself over to a demon, but rather that the fundamental part of herself which made her who she was would be gone, and she would never be with Spike again. She would be alone. Willow rolled over again, grabbing her pillow and punching it several times to get it into a comfortable shape.
“What did that poor defenseless pillow ever do to you luv?”
“Spike, I thought you were asleep.”
“The way you’re rolling about you could wake the dead.”
“You are dead.”
“See what I mean,” he said cracking a grin, then noticing how distraught she was, he asked, “What is it baby? You’re not getting cold feet about tonight are you?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know.” She responded softly, causing Spike to sit up and stare at her uncomfortably.
“You don’t want to be my mate,” he said through clenched teeth.
“No! I mean yes! Of course I want to be your mate,” she tried to reassure him.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“My soul.”
“What about it?”
“Where will it go?”
“To be honest pet, I have no idea. Why do you ask?” he didn’t like the direction this was going. Souls were not to be trusted; all they ever did was cause trouble, just look at his poof of a sire.
“It’s just that, what if my soul is the same as my consciousness, and without it we won’t be together anymore.”
“You lost me luv, are you saying you don’t want to be unconscious?”
“No, what I’m trying to say is, what if my soul is what makes me, you know…ummm…love you…and without it, that feeling, that part of me, won’t be with you anymore.”
As she said this she kept her eyes fixed on her hands. She had never said those words to anyone before, with the exception of her parents, and they had essentially abandoned her afterward. In the past she had felt that she was in love with Xander and Oz too, but she had never said it to them. Then again, she had never felt this strongly before. Her emotions for Spike were so strong that she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to go on without him. Her feelings were overwhelming, and they terrified her, but more frightening was the thought of losing them all together.
Spike could barely contain the flood of emotion that was running through him. She loved him, ‘loved’ him. She had said it herself. He had been waiting for what seemed like an eternity to hear those words from her. Spike of course had been in love with her all along, but after the thorough wringing Dru had put his heart through, he was afraid to be the first to admit it. The whole situation had left him feeling like some kind of teenager, in love for the first time. He reached out and pulled her tight against him, looking deep into her eyes.
“Willow, I wish I had all the answers for you, but I don’t,” he saw her tense up, and continued, “I ‘think’ that your soul is just the part of you that tells you the difference between what is right and wrong, the part that makes you feel guilty when you’ve been bad, so to speak. I don’t think it’s where your love comes from.”
“…but how do you know?”
“Because ‘I love you’, and I haven’t had a soul since before you were born.” As he said this he continued to look into her eyes wanting her to see that he was sincere.
“Ok then, if you tell me that everything will be alright, I’ll believe you,” she said, reaching her hand up and gently stroking his chiseled jaw line.
“I promise, everything will be alright. After tonight, it will be you and me, together for eternity,” he assured her, leaning down to plant a soft wet kiss upon her receptive lips.
She tangled her fingers in his short blonde tufts, pulling him closer for a deeper kiss, thoroughly exploring his mouth with her eager tongue. She wanted to lose herself in him completely, and forget all about what the coming night would bring. She lightly traced her fingers down his chest, pausing to give his nipple a firm pinch and was rewarded by the feeling of his cock bobbing against her stomach.
Spike rolled the two of them over, propping himself up on one elbow so he could kiss his way down her throat, running his tongue across the spot where she carried his mark, like a curved X where the two bites overlapped. He ran his free hand to her nipple to pinch her back. She gasped and reached her own hand beneath the covers to stroke his rock hard member, while he continued to kiss his way down her body. When his lips found her nipple and he gave it a gentle bite and she cried out, unable to control herself. His cold body against her hot one was like fire and ice, and he knew exactly what to do to make her lose all control. He made her feel vulnerable but powerful, and above all he made her feel alive. Her skin was singing with a million little tingles, as he gently pulled her hand away from his cock so he could slide himself down to her womanhood.
He paused before her opening, taking in the scent that was Willow; she was spicy, cinnamon, clove, together with the heady scent of her arousal, it was intoxicating. He slowly separated her folds with one finger, causing her hips to buck up in anticipation. He smiled to himself, she was always so eager for him, perfectly passionate, she gave herself to him with total abandon. He lowered his mouth to her center, delving his tongue deep into her flowing juices. Willow cried out again, and grabbed him by the ears, trying to pull his tongue deeper into her.
Spike gently but firmly removed her hands before she pulled his ears off. He remembered a time a little over a month ago when she had pulled out two large handfuls of his hair the same way, luckily it had grown back, but he was unwilling to take the same chance with his ears. He placed her legs over his shoulders, delving his tongue deeper inside her before moving his assault on to her clit. He sucked it into his mouth, making her squeal again, bucking her hips wildly, as he drove her toward her release. She alternated between pants and loud moans as he continued to suck and gently bite the small nub , while pumping two fingers in and out of her sopping wet core. He felt her muscles begin to clamp around his fingers, as her orgasm ripped through her body, causing her to arch off the bed screaming and clawing at the sheets, pulling them loose. Spike lapped at her juices, which were now coating his face, before climbing back up her body and pausing long enough to kiss her deeply so she could taste her own release.
Just as she was starting to catch her breath, he slammed his aching cock into her still twitching center, all the way to the hilt. It was his turn to cry out. Her heat drove him insane, and at times made it nearly impossible for him not to cum the moment he touched her. He continued to ram his cock into her with all the force he could muster, knowing it would bring her to climax as quickly as it would himself. He pounded her and pounded her, and just when he thought he wasn’t going to be able to hold on any longer, Willow cried out again, clawing at his back, leaving long bloody trails. He felt her muscles contract around his cock as she went over the edge, and then felt his balls tighten as he was pulled over the edge after her, spilling his dead seed deep within her.
When it was over he collapsed on top of her. He had learned long ago that his weight wasn’t too much for her to bear, in fact she seemed to relish this moment when they were both sated, their bodies still joined as they lay together in their exhaustion. In truth he loved it as well, but eventually he did have to move. Reluctantly he rolled off of her, but then pulled her half onto him, not wanting to give up the close contact. He looked down to see her tugging on her bottom lip. It was a nervous habit, and one she only did when she was seriously upset about something. He knew she was still afraid of what would happen to her when she was turned. He sighed heavily, and then morphed into his demon form, biting deeply into his wrist. As the blood began to flow freely from his wound, he offered it to her and she took it hungrily, craving the narcotic effect his blood seemed to have over her. As she drank deeply from him, she felt her muscles start to relax and a calm languor seemed to take her as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
As Spike watched her doze off, he thought about the coming night He needed it to be perfect. All the preparations had been made. He had turned another dozen minions over the last week, to ensure their security. He had even found the perfect place for the ceremony to be held. He closed his eyes, and tried to will himself to sleep. They had a long night ahead of them and he would need his rest, now if only he could fall asleep. Who knew insomnia was contagious.
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“I can’t just sit around waiting anymore!” Buffy exclaimed as she paced the cramped motel room.
“Buffy, I know it’s hard, but we don’t really have much choice. We must wait until tonight to stop the ceremony,” Giles said from where he was sitting in the corner, making new stakes with Angel.
They had been hard at work for almost a week, trying to discover the location of the ritual or where Willow was being held, and coming up with nothing on both counts. Their best plan was still to case all three locations they felt were most likely, and hope they got lucky. And to that end they had decided perhaps more weapons were the way to go. They already had a veritable arsenal of swords, axes, and cross bows, but they figured you could never have too many stakes. However, after spending the better part of the day sharpening pointy sticks, Xander and Anya had finally given up and decided that their time would be better spent napping, and Doyle had decided that his would be better spent drinking, but when Angel put the kibosh on that idea, he had reluctantly chosen the TV as his second option. Only Angel and Giles were left working as Buffy had decided her time would be better spent pacing and ranting.
Just then Xander let out a loud snort, and a sucking sound that made Angel think of what it would sound like to suck a Buick through your nose. He was going stir crazy spending night and day in this dive with the lot of them. The moron snored loud enough to shake the rafters, and his ‘girlfriend’, kept complaining about how they couldn’t get any privacy so they could have sex, and had even suggested that they simply try a little exhibitionism and screw in front of everyone. The result was a unanimous vote to kill the first person who removed their clothing, and Xander was forced to do something resembling a pro-wrestling take down to stop Anya from stripping anyway. And as if that weren’t enough, he’d had to spend the last nine days with Buffy, not being able to hold her, touch her, not even being able to talk to her. Sometimes he really hated his unlife. He rose suddenly, giving Xander a swift kick in the ass, abruptly rousing him from his slumber.
“Hey what was that for?!” Xander protested.
“You were snoring, ‘again’.” Angel responded curtly.
“Well excuse me dead boy, not all of us can simply stop breathing when we sleep.” Xander retorted.
“Will you two stop it,” Giles said suddenly, “The sun is going down.”
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Willow was feeling a bit nervous as she watched the ring of chanting minions surrounding her and Spike. The ritual had just begun, and Spike had chosen his four brightest to help. Meanwhile the rest of the minion hoard was standing guard to prevent anyone from interrupting them. In less than an hour, the ritual would be complete, and the pair of them would be bound together for eternity. Spike lifted a bowl of herbs from the ground, handing it to Willow before slicing his hand over it with a long dagger. Willow watched as his blood fell into the bowl, looking almost black in the dim light of the moon. He was saying an incantation now. It sounded strange, and she absently wondered what language it was in. Surely it was an ancient demon tongue, with its long rolling syllables, it was quite beautiful really.
When Spike had finished he took the bowl from her, and with a look of longing in his eyes, handed her the dagger. She took it from him, and without hesitation, sliced her own hand over the bowl, watching her blood mix with his, as Spike began the next part of the incantation.
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“This is just great! The ritual should be done in less than an hour, and we can’t find them anywhere! We must be looking in the wrong place.” Buffy raged, unwilling to give up, but unsure where to look.
“I don’t understand, according to my research it really should be one of these three places.” Giles said with bewilderment.
“Well your research was wrong, now wasn’t it?” Anya said irritably, “I told you this whole thing was a stupid idea. No self respecting vampire would use that ritual, and now we’ve wasted more than a week, and Willow’s probably long dead anyway.”
“Anya,” Xander said, his voice becoming hard, “Shut up!”
Anya glared daggers at Xander, but just as she was about to argue back with him, Doyle fell to the ground clutching his head and howling in pain. Angel, who recognized the signs of an oncoming vision, rushed to his side.
“What do you see?” Angel asked.
“Old buildings…Uhh abandoned…there’s a crappy pub between them…old garage across the street…Arrgghh…the ceremony…not much time…in an alley,” and with that Doyle fell silent, rocking back and forth, holding his head in his hands.
The group didn’t waste any time. They piled into their cars, helping Doyle, and headed off for the edge of town where they had seen some old abandoned buildings. Before long they had found the place they were looking for.
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Spike looked into Willow’s eyes and said, “I William choose you, Willow for my mate,” placing a finger into the mixture of herbs and blood, and drawing a crescent moon on her forehead, he then lifted the bowl to his lips, taking a long pull of the dark liquid, before handing it to Willow.
“I Willow choose you, William for my mate,” she said, taking the bowl from him and tracing a similar moon on his head before drinking the rest down.
Both of them felt a surge of power run through their bodies. The potion was starting to take effect already, merging their energies into one. All that was left was for Willow to die, so she could be reborn as Spike’s immortal lover. Spike couldn’t help but think how appropriate it was that she would die in an alley, just as he did, and Angelus before him. She watched then, in fascination as his face changed to that of his demon visage, and thought to herself how lucky she was that her death came in such a beautiful form. But just as Spike was lowering his mouth to her throat, a voice cried out over the chanting.
“Willow! Don’t worry! The cavalry is here!” Xander yelled out, launching an arrow from his cross bow into the vamp in front of him, reducing him to dust.
“Bloody hell!” Spike exclaimed in rage, grabbing Willow’s hand and running down the alley in the opposite direction. He was all for fighting, in fact it was one of his favorite pastimes, but at that moment all he could think of was getting away somewhere safe with Willow. He thought they would make it too, the other end of the alley was just up ahead, and all the fighting was behind them, but then just as they reached their destination, Angel stepped out from around the corner, blocking their path.
“You should’ve had someone guarding both ends of the perimeter boy. When will you ever learn?” Angel said with a sneer.
“Get out of our way Angel.” Spike replied with a look of murder in his eyes.
“I can’t do that boy, Willow belongs at home with her friends, not with you.”
“My friends, hah! Some friends, they walk all over me, and don’t even notice when I get kidnapped. None of you ever gave a shit about me, only about what I could do for you. Now get out of our way!” Willow said forcefully, her words striking Angel like a blow. Where had their sweet little Willow gone?
When Angel didn’t move, Spike lunged for him, striking him hard across the face with a left hook. Angel staggered for a second before coming back with a roundhouse kick to Spike’s head. The two exchanged blows for several minutes, while the larger battle was taking place farther down the alley. Willow wanted to help Spike, but was unsure what to do. She hunted around the ground for a weapon, but saw nothing more than garbage. When she glanced back up she saw Angel tackle him to the ground with a stake heading straight for his heart. She screamed in panic, lunging in front of Spike, just in time for the stake to be plunged into her back, right below her left shoulder blade.
“Oh Jesus, Willow, what have I done.” Angel said in shock, pulling the stake out of her back and quickly covering her wound to slow her blood loss. Spike, just looked at her in horror. He couldn’t lose his princess, he just couldn’t!
“Spike, run,” she managed to whisper, as she attempted to push her body off of him.
“No, I’m not leaving you!”
“You have to. Go now, before Buffy comes, please.”
“No baby, not without you.”
“Spike,” Angel interrupted, looking into Spike’s hurt and terrified eyes and feeling pity for him suddenly, “Run boy.”
“Oh right, you stab my girl in the back, and now I’m supposed to just run away?” Spike said incredulously.
“Look, she doesn’t have much time, which means I have ‘no’ time to argue with you. Buffy’s already heading this way and if you stay here you’re going to end up dust. It’s obvious Willow loves you, so for her sake I’m giving you one chance. Run.” Angel said, giving him a pointed stare.
Spike looked again at the woman he loved, then lifting her up, he gave her a soft kiss, whispering in her ear, “I’ll come for you, I swear,” then handed her over to Angel, who lifted her easily.
“If she dies, so does everyone you love, ‘everyone’,” Spike said. Then with one last look at his precious redhead, he ran off into the night.