SERIES: Choices #14
AUTHOR: Tisienne Blue
E-MAIL: tisatko@msn.com
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He has no idea of what I've done. Of course, neither do *I*, in anything but the vaguest possible way. I mean, I *know*, but... it's been so long since *any* witch has done what I did that... I don't know *exactly*.
Oh, he's bound and sealed; no question about *that*! And I've *definitely* made him *mine*, just as the bite he gave me-- along with his intent-- has made me *his*. But my so-simple little incantation might have results I've never even *thought* about, and... That should scare me, shouldn't it? It doesn't, though.
See, what I did is probably the oddest-- and oldest-- thing I've ever come across. I found it a while back, when I was trying to discover something to help Angel with his soul situation. It's not exactly a spell, but... it kind of *is*, too. Like I said, I don't know too much about it, so maybe I shouldn't have gone and done it in the first place, right...? *Wrong*!
The simple fact is that I didn't actually *plan* to do it. Gods! I didn't even know that I *remembered* it! I mean, I only looked it over that one time, but it obviously stuck in my mind, and... I can't help but wonder whether a part of me knew-- even then-- that I would end up with Spike. I don't think so, but... it's *possible*, and I'd rather believe *that* than believe the Powers somehow had a hand in things, which is *also* a possibility. It becomes more and more likely, the more I think about it, too.
This ritual... spell... incantation... whatever! It's older than the church; pre-dates the crucifixion, even! It's from a time when *all* supernatural beings-- and witches, apparently, count as 'supernatural'-- were united in one simple cause. No, it wasn't to rid the world of 'the plague of humanity'; it was to ensure the proper functioning of nature.
// It doesn't mean much... doesn't mean anything at all...
The life I've left behind me is a cold room...
Crossed the last line, from where I can't return...
Where every step I took betrayed me; led me from my home... //
Those times are long forgotten, now, but they *did* exist, no matter *how* much the Vatican has managed to re-write history. And the proof of it can be found, if you only know where to look.
Like I said, I was looking for something to help Angel. I guess I thought that if we could affix his soul, then maybe he could be as happy with Buffy as I was with Oz-- see...? I *said* it was a while ago! So, when I heard that some recently discovered artifacts from an archaeological dig in Yemen were going to be on display at UC Sunnydale, I made a point of having a look, mostly because I recognized the runes on the necklace the newspaper had been allowed to photograph. Well, I went to the showing, and it was honestly one of the most *fascinating*... if you're as boring as *I* used to be, of course.
But the point is, there was this big stone there. It had broken into a few pieces over time, of course, and I found out by talking with the AP who'd gone on the dig that none of them had any *idea* of what the symbols meant. I did, though. Oh, I couldn't *read* them; not *yet*... but I knew that I'd seen something like them before.
I talked to that AP for a good hour and a half, and when he assumed that I had a serious interest in archaeology, I didn't bother to correct him. And good thing, too. I think he would have been less willing to make rubbings of the stones for me if he'd known that I was a budding witch, rather than a budding archaeologist! But he gave me the rubbings, and I eventually wandered off.
It took me a few days to remember where I'd seen something similar to the markings on those stone tablets, but when I did, Amy was more than happy to help me go through her mother's books, and... Okay, there was nothing that could help Angel, but as it turned out, the translated symbols told the story of the *true* history of the world, along with a few helpful little... *actions* a witch could take. And it was one of those same 'actions' I took with Spike.
// Sweet surrender... is all that I have to give...
You take me in, no questions asked... You strip away
The ugliness that surrounds me. Are you an angel...?
Am I already that gone...? I only hope that I won't disappoint you
When I'm down here on my knees... //
Maybe it was the fact that it took so much effort to translate the rubbings, but like I said-- I honestly didn't know that I even *remembered* that ritual, and I *certainly* never planned on *using* it! But... use it I did, and I can't make myself be sorry for that.
No, the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that the Powers That Be had a hand in things here, and while that *does* make me wonder exactly what it is they have in mind for me and my Mate... I suppose I'll find out eventually.
We're staying in LA. We're gonna help Angel, Cordelia, Gunn, Wesley, and Fred. Spike likes to grumble about it, but I can tell he's secretly pleased by the way things have turned out. Hell, I can *feel* it! I can feel everything *he* does, without even trying. I can even feel his confusion over the strength of the bond we share now.
It's not a standard 'Mating-bond', I know *that* much. Something in the ritual I performed the other night has drawn us into tighter communication than would be possible with just that. Neither of us minds, of course, but I think it's gonna take the others a while to get used to it. The looks on their faces were *priceless* the first time they got even an *inkling* of how connected Spike and I are.
We were sitting around Angel's office, talking about the latest case to come their way-- *our* way, now-- and my Mate was in our room sleeping. Of course, Cordelia had to point out that Spike wasn't pulling his weight in her opinion, but I just smiled and told them what Spike thought we should do.
They laughed, and Angel told me that as much as I thought I knew his childe, I couldn't *possibly* understand how his mind worked. I let it slide for the moment, entirely sure that my love would be along soon, and he was.
He walked into the office, barely clothed in jeans and a t-shirt, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and when they started to tell him about everything we'd been discussing, he cut them off and proceeded to tell *them* what they'd each said! Then he sat down beside me on the couch, and pulled me onto his lap while he repeated-- word for word-- what I'd already told them he thought of the situation. It was hilarious, and only made more so when he told Cordelia that she should worry about being able to pull her *own* weight after all the Ben and Jerry's he'd seen her sucking down!
// Sweet surrender... is all that I have to give...
Sweet surrender... is all that I have to give...
And I don't understand how by the touch of your hand,
Oh, I will be the one to fall... I'll miss the little things...
I'll miss the simple things... Oh, I'll miss everything... everything without you... //
Well. So, in any case, we're bound more tightly than either of us ever expected, but I think that's a *good* thing. Gods know I enjoy the feel of his mind-- all silvery shimmers over darkness, and snake-y bolts of pure emotion coming from nowhere. And I never would have known what I was missing if I hadn't done what I did. So if the Powers *are* responsible? Then I'll have to remember to *thank* them!
I still catch Angel looking at me oddly; I guess he's trying to figure out what it is that's different from a standard Mating with me and his childe. I'm not gonna tell him, though. Or not unless he finds himself in love with a witch someday. I'm about ninety percent sure that this same ritual might bind his soul to a witch he loved. I can't be entirely certain, of course, what with *my* Mate being all soul-less and all, but... it's completely possible. I'll have to look into it.
But not right now. Because I can feel my Mate waking up, and I *know* he's hard and ready, and if there's one thing I've learned since the beginning of me and Spike...? It's that I love feeling him inside me, in every possible way. It's nice to have his mind wrapped around and through mine, but... it's even nicer when his body is involved, too.
// So it doesn't mean much... doesn't mean anything at all...
The life I've left behind me is a cold room...
Sweet surrender... is all that I have to give... //
End.