Pairing- W/S friendship
Disclaimer- Joss owns all in the Buffyverse. I just like using them, as Barbie's for my own twisted games. Mwaha hahahahaha.
Summery- this fic was a challenge set by Allison Jones.
Feedback- sure, why not. Everybody loves feedback.
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Willow stood quietly behind the chair Xander was sitting in listening to everyone put in his or her own two cents worth on what to do about the `First Evil'. What started out as a civil Conversation had erupted into an all out war among the group as to who was right about what theory and how to proceed with some really bad game plans.
In all honesty, as Willow listened she came to the only conclusion she could. they had no clue as to what the hell to do. Even she was at a loss, but was willing to try and find an answer to what the `First' wanted. Did he truly want to destroy the world? Did he want to bring `hell on earth? Or was he just some sick, demented demon who got his jollies off scaring them to death?
She didn't know. and with the way the `discussion' was going, no one really wanted to know anything except how to destroy it. The few times she had opened her mouth to say something about what she thought they should do, she was immediately silenced, being told that they needed to kill it, not get personal with it.
Willow silently slipped away from the group and went outside for a breath of fresh air, and some much needed piece and quiet to think. Memories came flooding back to her, memories of a time when life was much simpler. There were no such things as monsters, at least, not outside of fairy tales. Then a short time later, she found out that fairy tales are real, and so were the monsters in them.
She could still hear the muffled sounds of the voices raised in disagreement, when they became louder all of a sudden. She turned to see Spike standing in the doorway.
"Mind if I join ya, pet?" he asked. "Getting a little loud in there for my taste."
"No, I don't mind. Pull up a seat." She responded, gesturing to a spot beside her on the step.
"Why are you out here, Red. Its not exactly safe." He said as he sat beside her.
"Spike, I know the others told you about what happened last spring. I'm a big girl. Can handle myself well enough."
"Sorry, pet. I wasn't trying to put you down or nuthin."
"I know." She sighed. "It's just, ever since I came back, no one listens to my opinions, and I end up being treated like a child. I'm constantly on my guard around here, but I'm on guard from my friends. I find that, well. I kinda miss the old days, ya know?"
"What is it about the old days that you miss so much?" he questioned, with natural curiosity. He didn't really know the red head, didn't know what made her tick. He understood Buffy all right, and the moron wasn't hard to figure out. Even Anya was no real mystery to him. But this girl, he realized he didn't really know anything about her other than what he's seen.
"Oh, just the silly stuff. Nothing you'd want to hear about."
"And what makes you say that, pet?" he said. Willow looked up and a small smile formed at her lips, but he noticed that it really didn't reach her eyes. Though the smile didn't make it to those emerald pools, her eyes did seem to get this far away look to them.
"I miss school, and homework." She said, causing Spike to groan.
`Only she would miss something like that.' He thought. "That's what you miss?" he said, although with a bit of a condescending tone to it, which caused a slightly hurt look to cross Willow's face, something he immediately regretted.
"Its not so much missing `school and homework', but what it stood for."
"'Fraid I'm not following you, Red."
"I miss how young I was, I miss not knowing about the evil that we battle with everyday. I miss being young and naïve. And." she let her sentence trail off.
"And what?" He saw sadness come over her features, causing him to wonder what could cause something like that to her. One of the few things he did know about this girl, was that she wore her heart on her sleeve, but that it was easily broken as well. Yeah, he knew of her infatuation with Xander all those years ago, and he was there with her right after the break-up with the wolf. He remembered her trying to comfort him when he tried to bite her in her dorm room, which was when he found out about wolf-boy.
She was all torn up inside, but was still willing to console him. Which also reminded him of the night he had kidnapped her and the moron. The git was scared out of her mind, but still gave him comfort over the loss of his beloved Drucilla.
"I-I miss the days before Buffy moved here. I don't want it to sound like I don't want her here or anything, it's just that, well, I don't know anymore." She sniffed, "I miss Jesse."
"Jesse? I don't remember the name."
"You wouldn't. He died a little while before you came here. I believe it was Buffy's first day at school, too. He-he was a lot like Xander. And now that I think about it, he had a huge crush on Cordelia too."
"Ahhh, the cheerleader with the legs that went on forever." Replied the blonde. "So, tell me, how did this Jesse of yours die?"
"Vampire. A vampire got him." She looked at Spike for a moment. "You know something? I don't really know anything about you either. Tell me."
"Not much to tell, Red. I was one-third of the `Scourge of Europe'. Oh, those good `ol days." He said wistfully. "I remember using a railroad spike on one of my victims and." but he was cut off by Willow.
"That's not really what I wanted to know about." She said, holding her hands up. "I was thinking more a long the lines of getting to know William. I really don't know anything about you when you were alive."
"Not a very interesting story."
"Please? I mean, if you don't want anyone to know, I promise I won't tell."
"You won't tell?" he asked, and saw her nod in earnest. "Alright then." He cleared his throat. "I used to write poetry."
"You? Poetry? Not something I can picture you doing."
"Well not now, but before when I was alive. I used to love expressing my thoughts in words on paper. Problem was, I sucked, pardon the pun. They used to call me, `William, the bloody awful poet'. But when Dru turned me, I dropped the `awful poet' part. `William the bloody'. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
"Well, I suppose it does. Fitting for a vampire, I guess."
"My mum, however, she loved my poems, she did. She always encouraged me to write, and didn't care about what others thought. You would've liked me mum, Red. She was thoughtful and kind, even at the end. Always put everyone else's needs before her own, even when her health failed her. She was truly a special woman."
"Sounds like you loved her very much." She said, and watched a sad smile come to his lips. "I'm sorry, Spike. I didn't mean to make you sad."
"No, its okay. It's been a long time since I talked about her. or even thought about her." He glanced at the witch sitting beside him. "You know, you sorta remind me of her. You're kind and gentle, like her, and too willing to do what everyone else wants of you." A puzzled look came over his features. "Red, when was the last time you thought of yourself and no one else? Did something `cause its what you wanted to do?"
"I don't do that anymore, causes too many problems."
"Such as?"
"Well, when you kidnapped me, Xander and I were caught kissing. big problems after that. I did that `My will be done' spell and, well you were there to see what happened. Then there was my whole `revenge' thing, which ended with me almost destroying the world. Its just safer not to think about what I want."
"Those are just bad examples, pet." He said as he put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "I think you and I need to go out some night, just the two of us."
"What? Are you asking me out on a date?"
"No, not a date. But I think you and I deserve a little time out, away from this madness."
"But, Buffy, and you?"
"There is no `Buffy and me'. There never really was. Sure, I was infatuated with the Slayer and mistook that for love. But all that there was between her and I was just sex. There was no meaning behind it for her. it was just a way for her to work out her frustrations." He bowed his head in shame. "She used me, and I let her." He finished.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, I'm not. Hey, everything's a learning experience, right? So," he said, trying to change topics. "Tell me about your mum."
"I'd love to, but there's not much to tell."
"You could start with her taking you to the park or maybe having a picnic." he let his sentence trail off in expectation.
"No, you don't understand, there is nothing to tell. I'm here because it was good for my parent's careers. My mother took the minimum amount of maternity leave, and then hired a nanny. And as soon as she thought I was old enough, she got rid of the nanny and let me take care of myself. My parents and I have never vacationed together, or really did anything as a family. If you go to my parents' house, look at the walls. There are pictures of me, and pictures of my parents. But none with the three of us together."
"Red, I'm sorry."
"It's okay, really. I'm used to it. You know, I think that's why I latch on to people as much as I did. My parents never gave any sort of encouragement while I was growing up, when I needed it the most. The only person that was a constant in my life was Xander. He made being alone not so bad. I know you don't think a lot of him, but he's the one who made life bearable. He had it hard too. I can remember him coming over sometimes with a black eye or bruises all over his back. He wouldn't cry though. I did that for him."
"He used to get beat up? Bullies?"
"We wished. It was his parents. They hated each other, would get drunk and take it out on him. I used to cry when he came over like that, and it would be him that would hold me and comfort me. I wonder."
"What?"
"I was wondering what ever happened to our friendship. We never really talk anymore and I-I miss it."
"Maybe its time you took him by the hand, sit him down and make him talk, or at least listen. Might change things for the better." He said.
"You know something? Despite everything you ever put us through. you are a really good friend." With that said, she leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
As she pulled back, a slight breeze came up and blew a few strands of hair in front of her face. Spike reached up and moved the hair, tucking it behind her ear, but when he looked back into her eyes, the temptation was too much. He leaned in and placed his lips upon hers and softly kissed her.
Willow wasn't able to think as she let her lips part, allowing him to deepen the kiss. She couldn't deny it to herself that it felt wonderful. His tongue moved between her lips and gently probed as her tongue moved to his and began to stroke. For only a moment, both allowed themselves to melt into it before pulling away, only to stare at each other is shock.
"Wha-what the hell was that? Because I `know' you didn't just mistake me for Buffy."
"No, pet, I didn't. It's just. Oh Bloody Hell! I couldn't help it. I had to know what you felt like! I've wondered ever since that time in the factory when you tried to help me."
"Spike, I was helping you out of fear."
"The spell part, yeah. But when you tried to comfort me. that wasn't fear. It was compassion. You gave me something that I hadn't seen in a long time, not since me mum was alive, and it fired the flame. I've wondered about you, Red, ever since that day. Out of everyone, you the only person to ever treat me like a human being. such as it is. Even just sitting here and talking to you, you've eased the loneliness."
"Spike, I."
"No, don't. Let me finish. I've seen you all these years, you're the outsider, just like me. I will never fit in, and neither will you. Yet you are willing to stick around out of a sense of duty, to protect people who could care less about you. You are so willing to do for others, but do nothing for yourself. You feel just as alone as I do, pet. You even listened to me talk about me mum. no one else cares about who I was before. You're the only one that asked. Sitting here with you tonight, its made me feel almost human again. The kiss. it was an impulse, seemed like the right thing to do."
"Spike, it's okay. And your right. I do feel alone, but you helped ease some of that too. I guess the kiss was just something we both needed. in a strange sort of way. It was nice."
"You're not mad? I mean."
"No, I'm not mad. And I know the kiss isn't the start of a relationship." She quieted for a moment. "You know, William." He smiled at the use of his name. "You can talk to me anytime you want, I'm always willing to listen. I would love to hear you talk some more about your mother, get to know what she was like."
"Just look in the mirror, Red. Get to know yourself, and you'll know her. You two are a lot alike. I guess that's why I'm more comfortable around you than the others."
"Still friends?"
"Always, Red. I'll always look out for you." He finished and gave her a hug. Just then, the door opened to reveal a stunned Xander looking at the two.
"Uh, I was-I."
"Xander. I was thinkin' that maybe you and I could go out and shoot some pool. Some night when the thing with the `First' is history." Spike said.
"Well, uh, sure. I guess." Xander looked at the two sitting on the step. "Okay, what's going on here?"
"Just two friends sitting outside and talking." Spike replied as he stood up and moved towards the door. "Thanks moron." He said as he gave Xander a pat on the shoulder.
"Your welcome. Thanks for what exactly."
"For taking right good care of Red here. She's a special lady, that one is. You should be proud of her." He finished, and left Xander standing in the door staring after him.
"What the hell was that!?" asked the young man, as his life long friend stood and moved past him into the house.
"Oh, he's just decided that he'd like to have someone to pal around with. You know, guy stuff. C'mon, I'll make you some hot chocolate." Willow said.
"Hey, did I hear someone say hot chocolate?" bellowed Spike's voice from somewhere in the house. Willow couldn't help but laugh, causing Xander to do the same.
"Um, Will? What were you and dead boy jr. talking about?"
"Friendships, how they're made, and how the best one's endure anything that comes along." She replied, putting an arm around his shoulders.
"Will, whatever happened to us?" Xander questioned.
"Nothing that we can't fix. C'mon, hot chocolate won't make itself ya know."
"And don't you bloody well forget those little marshmallows!" shouted a voice from inside the house.
The End