Disclaimer: I own nothing. Joss & Company own all.
Spoilers: Up to Season 4
Thanks: To Em for always being extremely supportive and helpful :)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
Flashes. All she saw were flashes. Flashes of images that seemed to be from another world altogether.
Willow. Spike. Death. Destruction.
Buffy watched from the side as Spike cradled Willow's lifeless body in his arms, the vampire crying up to the sky, demanding her life back. The tears slipped from the Slayer's eyes as she found herself powerless. She couldn't move, she couldn't scream, nothing. All she could do was stand and watch as her best friend's life drained away.
The ground shifted beneath her and she watched in horror as Spike ripped a man's throat out, a sadistic smile upon his face. This time, she yelled out at him but it came out a silent scream. He simply stood there, his hand held out, the still warm blood dripping from his pale hand. The smile vanished and his eyes flashed with pain. But the emotion was gone as soon as it appeared.
Again, the ground shifted and this time when Buffy looked up, she saw nothing. Nothing but blackness. All she could sense were the feelings. The emotions coursed through her, the pain and anguish flowed through her body like a never-ending river of lost and regret. Buffy looked down at her body, which was no longer hers. It was Spike's. His body. His bruised and bloodied body. She could see his trembling hand hovering above his chest. She felt the tears slip from his eyes as he plunged the stake through himself.
Buffy's eyes shot open and she took a few deep breaths before rising up to a sitting position. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and looked towards Willow. She sighed gratefully when she saw the redhead's sleeping body lying there. Safe. She was alive, peaceful, and breathing.
<Just a nightmare. Just a nightmare.>
The blonde repeated the mantra over and over in her head, trying to convince herself but she couldn't. It had all been too real. Too vivid. She could still smell the blood and death. Could still feel the pain and loss.
Her hazel eyes traveled over to Willow's sleeping body again and a pang of fear struck through her. She had to figure out what the dream meant. She had to see Giles.
~^~**~^~
"Giles, you don't get it. It was *real*. It felt real. It was like those dreams I had back when I was fighting the Master and," she paused, "The Gentlemen! It all came true. I can't let this come true."
The Watcher saw the distress in her eyes and sighed, "But you prevented them, Buffy. Each and every time, you saved us all from the impending doom. I realize that the dream must've scared you greatly but if it really amounts to nothing, it'll do no good to alarm Willow with it." He looked up at her and nodded, “I will look into it though. I promise you.”
"I can't lose her, Giles." Buffy looked down before speaking in a deadly calm voice, "I still remember the dream I had about Angel. And it really happened. I couldn't do anything. I watched as he destroyed everything around me when Angelus rose and I couldn't kill him. It's different now, I know about this and I can't just let it happen. I refuse to let Willow die."
"You said that she was in Spike's arms."
"Yeah," she replied distractedly, "I think they were together. Spike went on a major killing rampage after her death. I'm guessing to avenge it or something."
"Why?"
Buffy looked up at him, "He loved her. Maybe she loved him. But he was lost, Giles. He was scared and he didn't know what to do and so he struck out."
"How do you know all this?"
"I felt it."
Giles sighed again before sitting down at the table, "The choice is yours, Buffy. Do you want to tell her or Spike?"
Buffy looked out the window, her lips pursed together, "No, I just won't let it happen."
~Part: 2~
"Something’s happened," Buffy stated as she watched Willow twirl her straw for the tenth time in a few minutes.
"What?" Willow looked up, glancing at Buffy and finally processed what she had just said, "No, nothing’s happened."
Buffy grinned at her, "Liar. I can tell. Dish, do we have a crush on someone?"
She shook her head, trying to deny what Buffy was saying, "No, no, I don't," she sighed, looking up at her and seeing the look on Buffy's face, she gave in, "Okay, maybe just a little one. Really, not even worth mentioning."
"What is it?"
"Well," Willow cleared her throat, "What if I was to tell you that I had a umm," she paused, "a thing for a guy that's a bit, well," she bit her lower lip, "different."
"Different?" Buffy raised her eyebrow, "How different?"
"Not very. He's nice, good sense of humor, great looks and I think he really likes me."
"Okay," her best friend said slowly, "So what's the different?"
"He's kind of well, dead."
"You have a crush on a corpse?" Buffy asked incredulously before it hit her. Oh, god, no. Not now. Not this soon. It couldn’t have been starting. She whispered, "Spike."
Willow looked down at her drink, a goofy smile slipping through, "Yeah."
The color drained from Buffy's face as she heard the words come out of Willow's mouth. No, this *wasn't* supposed to happen, not this soon, not ever. She had to stop this. She couldn't just let her best friend walk into a relationship that would inevitably get her killed. She had to say something, "Why-Why do you like him? He's a killer. If he didn't have the chip, we'd all be dead."
"There are so many levels to him, Buffy. Inside, he's different, he's complex and that's what I love about him."
"Love?" Buffy demanded, "Love? Since when did we go from crush to love?"
There was a faraway look in her eyes as she said, "We've been dating for the past few months and I know I should've told you but, I was afraid of your reaction. I didn't want you to stake him or anything. I think I'm really in love with him, Buffy."
Buffy's jaw dropped, "Love?" She swallowed the lump in her throat, her eyes already tearing up from the images that were flashing in her mind. Reminders of the nightmare she had only a few nights before. Oh, god, it wasn’t just the beginning, they were already too far in. Willow had fallen for an undead monster, creating a relationship that would, in the end, destroy everything. "No, you're not."
"What?" Willow asked, surprised.
She couldn't let this happen. Willow could deal with heartbreak. Buffy refused to let the relationship go any further, "You don't love him. You can't love him," <Not if you want to stay alive.> She added silently.
"I do and I will," Willow said, a bit defensive, "Buffy, I know you may not be his biggest fan but he makes me happy. Very happy, the happiest I've been since Oz left."
"He's a vampire, Willow. He's the personification of death and destruction. He *kills* to live."
"What about Angel?"
Buffy looked down at her words, knowing how Willow felt at that moment. Her best friend was in a relationship that no one could every truly accept. It was yet another reason why she couldn't let Willow continue whatever she had with Spike. Even if the redhead thought she was in love with him. "I think we all remember how that ended."
"I'm sorry," Willow said quietly, "I won't stop seeing him, Buffy. This is good for me. I just wish you could see that."
"I don't accept this, Willow. I can't just," her voice grew louder as she grew more desperate, "I can't just let this happen. Not after seeing-"
"What?"
Buffy shook her head, "It'll lead to no good. I've been there before and I *know* it. You love him? Fine, I believe it but sometimes that just isn't enough. Sometimes it's just not worth it."
Willow scoffed, "You know just as well as I do that if you could be with Angel, you would."
"This isn't about me and Angel! This is about you and Spike!" She saw the looks and sideways glances she was receiving and lowered her voice, "Willow, please."
"I know why you're worried, Buffy, but he won't hurt me. I know him enough to know that he never would. You obviously don't accept it now but it isn't your choice to make, it's mine." Willow slid off her chair and looked at her sadly, "I better go."
"Willow," Buffy sighed and clasped her hands together, "I'll never accept it for more reasons then you know. I just, I wish I could tell you."
"Well, until you do, I'll still be with him and I probably will be after that too."
"Don't do this, Will, please."
"Goodbye, Buffy, I'll see you tonight."
~^~**~^~
Buffy slammed the door angrily as she entered Giles’ apartment, “It’s started, Giles. It actually started quite a while ago but I just never saw it. None of us did.” She sat down onto the couch in defeat, “God, she loves him. I could see it in her eyes. This is so complicated. I want to be happy for her. I know what she’s saying is true but I can’t let it happen.” She looked up at Giles with teary eyes, “She’ll die, Giles.”
Giles sat down next to her, trying to calm her down, “I assume you’re speaking of Willow and Spike.”
Buffy nodded numbly, “She told me today that she loves him. She won’t stop seeing him.” Her voice cracked, “I can’t let this happen. I can’t lose her.”
“Did you tell her about the dream?”
“No,” she gulped, “I mean, what was I suppose to say? Oh, Willow, by the way, did I happen to tell you that I foresaw your death in a prophetic dream?” She shook her head, “How am I suppose to tell her that?”
“I think you might have to.”
“Will she even believe me?” Buffy’s voice was filled with doubt, “Not after today.”
“You’re her best friend, Buffy, of course she’ll believe you.”
“I was so scared today when she first told me. I basically flat out told her that she couldn’t be with Spike without even giving her a real reason.”
“You didn’t handle it in the best way possible but Buffy, it’s understandable. You didn’t know what else to do.”
“No, I didn’t and I still don’t. If I tell her and she doesn’t believe me, then what? And even if she does, she’ll be miserable.” Buffy pointed at herself, “I’ll be the cause of that misery.”
“But, she’ll live.”
“I don’t want her to go through another heartbreak, Giles. I know she can deal with it but she shouldn’t have to. She’s happy and I don’t want to ruin that.”
“If you don’t, she’ll die.”
Buffy sighed, “Maybe there’s another way to stop the prophecy. Like, I don’t know, just something.”
Giles nodded, “I have been looking into it but none of the papers I’ve read have told me anything.”
“We have to try, Giles. I can’t just give up.”
“I know and we won’t.”
“I have to tell her, don’t I?”
“Yes.”
Buffy nodded silently before walking out the door, her spirits low.
~^~**~^~
Spike opened the crypt door with a frown, “Willow, luv, what’s the matter?”
“I told her.”
The vampire led her in through the door and sat down on the couch, “And?”
She shook her head, “Not good. I knew she probably wouldn’t have liked it very much but I didn’t expect her to just forbid me to see you.”
“She what?”
Willow continued to talk, ignoring Spike, “And, I mean, yeah, you’re a vampire but you don’t kill humans anymore and you don’t even have a soul! Okay, yeah, chip prevents you from killing but hey, I’m sure there are ways around it.” She paused, “Not that you should go and try to find those ways.”
“You think I’d kill again after I get the chip out?”
“That’s really not the focus point here, Spike.”
“Answer the question.”
Willow sat down next to Spike and leaned into his chest, “Would you?”
“Honestly?”
“Yeah.”
“For you, I wouldn’t kill them.”
“What?”
Spike smirked, “I’d probably just take a few sips.”
She smacked his chest and grinned, “Thank you, Spike.”
“The chip’s still in, pet, not out yet. But, it will be. Soon enough.”
Willow bit her lower lip, “I think I might have a way to get it out.”
“What?”
“There’s this spell.”
Spike raised his eyebrow, “A spell? I don’t want you to do any mojo on me, luv.”
“But I can do this. I really can. I’ve read it over and everything.”
“And you’ve been keeping it all from me?”
Willow smiled innocently, “I wanted to be sure before I told you.”
“Are you?”
“Very much so,” she gave him a small kiss before pulling back and sighing, her smile disappearing, “I still have that whole Buffy issue to take care of.”
“We’ll deal with it later,” Spike whispered into her ear as his hand drifted lower and lower, intent on making everything in her head flitter away except the thought of him.
~Part: 3~
Buffy walked slowly down the streets of Sunnydale. Never before in her life had she felt so nervous. She shook her head, why was she nervous about this? It was just Willow. Willow, good ol' Willow: her best friend who was practically a sister to her. Willow who had always been there for her through thick and thin. Willow who always supported her whenever she needed it. Willow who would die if she continued her relationship with Spike.
Buffy snapped herself out of her thoughts and cringed. God, why did she have to have that dream? Everything was just getting better before this. Angel left, she was moving on. She was even beginning to deal and accept Spike, but then some power above had to send her the dream. A dream in which her best friend died in the arms of the demon that she loved.
With hardened eyes, Buffy looked up again and walked off the sidewalk and onto the grass, into the cemetery. She had checked the dorms and the Rosenberg house, both of which were empty which meant that Willow had to be at Spike's crypt. Perfect. Just when she thought things couldn't get any worse.
Buffy sighed. Telling Willow was bad enough but add Spike to that list? This conversation was not going to be a pleasant or an easy one. She really hoped that Willow believed her. If the redhead didn't, well, she didn't know *what* she was going to do then. Willow had to believe her.
The Slayer looked around the cemetery, the nervousness and fear no doubt drawing much attention from nearby vampires. Seeing the crypt ahead, she quickened her steps and stood in front of the crypt door, silent and still, just staring at the stone. Here it was, behind the door was Willow and Spike, together.
She raised her hand and swallowed the lump in her throat before knocking. She heard the sounds of scuffling before a sheet covered Willow came to the door, the surprise obvious on her face.
"Buffy?"
Buffy's brain nearly shut down when she saw what Willow was wearing or actually, *not* wearing. Without thinking, the words slipped from her mouth, "You're having *sex* with him?"
Willow blushed before grinning, "Well, couples tend to do that."
Buffy shook her head, "I'm sorry, that was incredibly dense of me." She sighed, "I, um, can we talk?"
The redhead bit her lip, "Now?"
"Yeah, I was kinda hoping sometime nowish."
"Well," Willow looked back at Spike who was hidden from Buffy's view. He just threw on his jeans and was in the process of putting his shirt on. He raised an eyebrow before shooting Willow a questioning look. The redhead mouthed back, 'Buffy.'
He gave her another look before Buffy cleared her throat, "Can I come in?"
"Uhhh."
"I won't stake him or anything. I promise. I just," She looked down and played with her fingers, "We need to talk."
A small smile slipped from Willow's lips, "You know, nothing good ever comes after that sentence."
Buffy smiled and nodded before sighing, "So, can I?"
"I, um, yeah, I guess. Just like you said, no staking."
"Gotcha." Buffy walked into the crypt, feeling the nervousness rise within her again. She had to calm herself. If she was going to get through this, she had to be calm.
Spike looked at the Slayer oddly. Why exactly was the bint nervous? He always knew her as confident, a bit whiny, sometime self-involved but overall a good friend to Willow. But, never before did he picture her as nervous. Something was wrong; he could feel it. He moved towards Willow, nodding a hello towards Buffy before sitting down, his arms wrapped around the redhead.
Buffy couldn't help but smile at the comfortableness surrounding the two. They were happy. Even she could tell. As much as she was against the relationship, Buffy knew that there was a closeness between the two. Seeing it for herself for the first time in real life, she knew it and she felt it. There was a mental bond between them. One that she could never break. Buffy pushed the Slayer back and brought forth the best friend, knowing that it was only *her* that could make Willow understand.
"I-I had a dream."
~Part: 4~
Buffy swallowed the lump in her throat and closed her eyes before opening them and straightening her back a bit. She breathed in sharply, “The dream, it was, ummm,” she paused, “Do you remember the dreams I had about the Master?”
Willow nodded, “You mean your prophetic dreams?” Her voice held a hint of curiosity.
“Yeah.”
“Did you have another one?”
Buffy could already feel the tears forming behind her eyes, “Yeah,” she whispered hoarsely before clearing her throat, “I saw, umm,” she looked down at her clasped hands, not able to bear the look on Willow’s face, “death.”
“Death?” Spike repeated. Something was very, very wrong. He could feel the mix of fear, panic and despair rolling off of Buffy but he just couldn’t figure out why. His head snapped up as he smelled something. Something salty. His eyes narrowed as he studied Buffy a bit closer and he could see the redness inching onto her eyes and the glossed over look she had on. He suddenly realized what it was that he smelled. Tears. She was about to cry. Spike’s brow furrowed as he felt the confusion and nervousness rise within him, “What about death?”
“I saw pain, death, destruction,” Buffy continued, “And ummm..”
Willow looked at her sympathetically and reached out to grab Buffy’s hand but the blonde quickly withdrew it. Willow visibly flinched and she looked at her sadly, “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not umm,” Buffy lifted her hand up to her hair as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ears, “quite done yet.”
“Who was it?”
Buffy looked up surprised at Spike’s question, “What?”
“You said you saw pain, death and destruction. Who caused it?”
There was a moment of silence before Buffy finally steeled herself enough to answer, “Willow.”
The redhead gasped loudly and Buffy forced herself to continue on, “And Spike.”
“What? But, Buffy, I wouldn’t-“
“I know,” Buffy answered quietly, “It’s not you who killed.”
Spike sat back as he realized what Buffy was saying, “It’s me.”
“But, Spike wouldn’t-” Willow paused and tried another approach, “I don’t-” She lifted her hand up to her forehead and massaged it. She felt Spike’s hand drawing small circles on her back, giving her a sense of comfort. She let out a heavy sigh before her brow furrowed, “Wait a sec, so, if I don’t kill how did I cause it?”
Buffy looked away, the tears pouring over the edge of her eyes and down her face. “You died and that was the start.”
Willow couldn’t stop staring at the floor when the words came out of Buffy’s mouth. She was going to die. And her death would cause Spike to unleash pain, death, and destruction. It was all because of her. Her death. She looked at her hand and saw that she was shaking uncontrollably. Was this why Buffy was so against her relationship with Spike? She shook her head. She had to know the whole story. This was all too confusing. “Tell me everything that you saw from beginning to end.”
Buffy flinched at the calm voice that Willow used. Every part of her wanted to rush over to the redhead and embrace her but she couldn’t. She didn’t even know if Willow would even want to talk to her after this. “Willow,” she started uncomfortably, “that’s kinda-“
Green eyes looked straight into hazel as Willow repeated firmly, “Tell me.”
Buffy pushed back all her emotions and brought out the Slayer in her for strength, “I saw you and Spike. He was holding your body and screaming for the Powers to give your life back. You died in his arms,” her voice cracked as she continued, “Everything kept flashing at me and the next thing I saw was Spike tear out a man’s throat. He did it out of pain and I’m guessing some sort of retaliation. After that, everything turned black and it was as if I was in Spike’s body. I could feel all the,” she gasped loudly as the tears began to roll down her cheeks again, “pain and emotion that he felt. And,” she gulped, “And.”
“And what?” Spike whispered, his emotions on the edge.
Buffy looked him in the eye, “And, you staked yourself.” After a few moments, she finally looked up, preparing herself for what she was about to see. But, even then, she could still feel her heart breaking as the silent tears flowed down Willow’s face, the redhead’s lips were pursed and she stared off at the wall. This was all her fault. Buffy shook her head as the guilt washed over her. Why did she have that dream? Why did she have to be the Slayer? If she wasn’t the Slayer, she never would’ve met Willow and the redhead would never have to experience a bloody and early death. She hung her head down in shame. It seemed everything she came in contact with, she destroyed. Buffy jumped at the sudden contact and looked down at her hands joined with Willow’s. Hazel eyes looked up and Buffy said softly, “Please don’t hate me, Willow. I’m so sorry.”
Willow jumped into her arms and held her tightly, “I could never hate you, Buffy. This isn’t your fault.” She squeezed tighter, “It’s not your fault.”
Buffy bit back the tears, knowing that there was no point in shedding them. She was the Slayer. She had to be strong. She had to be strong for Willow. The blonde hugged back and sighed, “We’ll find a way to stop this. We’ve stopped my dreams from happening before and we can do it again.”
Willow pulled back and raised her hopeful yet skeptical eyes to Buffy’s before moving back and wrapping her arms around Spike, “How do we stop a prophetic dream?”
Buffy was at a lost for words, “I don’t know.” She pushed the hair out of her face, “But we’ll find out. I promise you, we will.”
next