Notes: Sequel to 'Echo' This will make absolutely *no* sense if you don't read it!
Notes2: I'm putting up a tissue warning this time. See this? *TISSUE WARNING*
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Joss & Company own all. Evanescence owns 'My Immortal' The song is fantastic, people, it inspired this fic and so much more.
Thanks & Dedication: As always, to my lovely beta, Em. You're the bestest, hun! To Chelsea because she makes me laugh and smile (and about a million other reasons)! To Jenni because she's an absolute sweetie who showers me with compliments that I know I don't deserve :) And last but definitely nowhere near least, to Midnight, you're wonderful, sweets :)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my childhood fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
Cause your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.
You used to captivate me by your resonating mind,
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.
~*~
He haunts her. He haunts her dreams. He haunts her thoughts. He haunts her memories. He haunts her days. He haunts her nights. He's been gone for over a year but still, everyday, she sees him.
She sees him in the sky. The blue reminding her of his eyes. She sees him in the sunrise. The mix of reds and oranges reminds her of his passion. She sees him in the brightness of the stars. The sparkle reminds her of his whole being. She sees him in the water. The clarity reminds her of how she felt when she was with him.
Everything was clear; she loved him. He loved her. Perfection. Simplicity. One look at him and everything would be okay again. She knew that someone in the world loved her, cared about her, would give up his life just for her.
And now he is gone. There are only memories and reminders. Everywhere she goes, she feels him. And a part of her wishes that she didn't remember. If she didn't remember, she wouldn't feel the pain of the loss so deeply. She carries it with her everyday though she keeps the smile on her face for appearances. Nobody knows how she feels. The whole Scooby Gang believes that the wounds have already healed. But they haven’t.
She was starting to think they never would. Maybe there were things that time *couldn't* erase.
Willow walked down the stairs of the Art Institute in Chicago, thoughts of Spike running through her mind. Even in an art museum, she thought of him. She could see him everywhere, in the paintings, in the sculptures, in everything.
She was in town, recruiting another Slayer. The rest of the gang was busy back at Slayer Central, now located in Cleveland, with the new trainees. The only one that could be spared was Willow. She was also the only one who volunteered. She had to get away from all of it. Every time she was in the room with any of the White Hats, all the memories came rushing back.
That day outside the hotel. The day that was burned into her memory, the day she always remembered. That day, she felt him, she truly did. That day, he told her that he never left, that he was always there. She promised him that she would never forget. And she didn't. That was the problem.
She didn't forget the look in his eyes as he said 'I love you' one last time. She didn't forget the pain that rushed through her when she felt their hands burn together. She didn't forget the coldness that she felt when she watched the bus drive away, leaving her lover's ashes behind. She didn't forget any of it. Everyday, the wounds grew wider and wider. Willow had a feeling that if she ripped open her chest, there would be a gaping wound right in the middle of her heart.
That was how much it hurt. No matter how many times she told herself that Spike was truly gone, she couldn't believe it. He really was always there, haunting her.
Willow turned the corner, walking into the main gallery and stopping in her steps when she saw him. Platinum blonde hair, black jeans, pale skin. Was it.. Could it possibly be?
Her heart leapt in anticipation. Could it really be him? Did he finally come back to her? After all this time, maybe he was back. Maybe the Powers That Be understood and brought him back. They had the power to. A huge smile inched onto her lips, the first real one since he died. She walked up to him hurriedly and put a hand on his shoulder.
That was when everything came crashing down again.
The life and happiness in her eyes drained away as she realized that the man was not Spike. He was a stranger. A complete stranger.
"Can I help you?"
"I-I'm sorry. I-I t-thought you were someone else," Willow clamped her mouth shut and turned away, biting back the tears. Why? Why did this have to happen to her? It had already been a year. The pain should've been gone by now. It shouldn't have *still* felt like she was dying. Her heart should *not* have felt so much. She shouldn't be going through this.
But, she was.
Willow walked out of the museum, a swirl of emotions flowing through her body. She went towards the direction of the lake, seeing the sun beginning to set. Another reminder. The coolness of the air and the pinks reminded her of his touch, his captivating touch and his mesmerizing lips. So lost in her thoughts, she ran right into a firm body. She looked up and saw him. Spike.
She blinked and the blonde faded to brown. The blue faded to hazel. Willow shook her head and muttered an apology before walking off. When she looked up again, she could've sworn she saw him again. But, every time she blinked, the face was gone, replaced by another. A stranger's.
She gasped loudly. Why was he doing this? Willow felt the wind blow through her hair and again, like that day last year, she felt his touch upon hers again. She closed her eyes, almost feeling his body next to hers. Quickly, her eyes snapped open and she swallowed the lump in her throat, "Please don't do this to me."
The tears began to flow down her face, a never ending river of anguish. She whispered hoarsely, "Just fade away, Spike, please, just fade away."
The wind rose again before slowly, settling down. As if he was accepting it. Accepting that it was time for her to move on. For her to slowly push past the pain and feel something else again.
Willow looked up with teary eyes, seeing the last of the sun go down the horizon. She bit her lip and sighed. She managed a weak smile, "I miss you."
As she turned to walk away, she felt the wind again, soothing her. And for a second there, she could've sworn she heard his voice, whispering the same words back to her.
The End