Notes: Past Season 7- so definitely some spoilers
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She said life's a lot to think about sometimes
When you're living in between the lines
And all of the stars, they sparkle and shine every day
He said life's so hard to move in sometimes
When it feels like I'm towin' the line
And no one even cares to ask me why I feel this
way, yeah
And I know you feel helpless now
And I know you feel alone
That's the same road, the same road that I'm on,
yeah
He said life's a lot to think about sometimes
When you keep it all between the lines
Of everything I want and I want to find one of
these days, yeah
What you thought was real in life
Has somehow steered you wrong
And now you just keep drivin', tryin' to find out where you belong
~*~
There comes a time in everybody’s life where you just have to step back and examine where you’re going. For Willow, that time was now. Finally, she was taking a look at what she was doing. And how she could fix it.
For seven years, she’d fought side by side with the Slayer. Fighting everything from vampires to demons to apocalypses. And now, it was all over. In one night, everything changed. Once the Hellmouth closed, once and for all, and the First was contained, the need to fight against evil was gone. It was as if everything that reeked of sin just disappeared from the town of Sunnydale. Finally, it became just like any other town.
She had lost most of her friends in the fight. Almost everyone died. Anya, Giles, Buffy, Xander, Kennedy, half the potentials. All gone. Now, they were merely memories. She still had a picture in her mind. A picture of how it was before they went into battle for the final time. But, all pictures faded with time. Memories however, lasted forever.
They were the only things she had to hold onto.
She didn’t know who she was anymore.
She was the witch. The research girl. Now, she was just ordinary. Her magical powers were of no use to anyone else. She had a good mind to go to LA with Angel but he never asked for her help, so she never gave it. Perhaps a lost opportunity, or maybe just reality knocking at her door.
She was finally free. She could live a normal life. But, unlike Buffy, she did long for it but she never craved it as much as the blonde did. She loved the magicks and the excitement. It kept her going. And now that it’s stopped, she actually missed it.
She was lost.
“Willow?”
The soft voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She smiled at the curious blue eyes that were staring back at her, “Yeah?”
“You okay, luv?”
She nodded eagerly, “Yeah, of course, I was just thinking.”
Spike gripped her hand harder, squeezing it to reassure her. Of what though? To tell her that things would be okay? They weren’t. No matter how right things seemed, they never were.
~*~
He let out an unneeded sigh and stared at her. She was thinking again. She would fall into one of her reveries, reminiscing over the past.
She had lost all her friends. And yet, she was dealing surprisingly well. He was proud of her.
Spike was also dealing with his own pain. The loss of Buffy, both emotionally and physically had hurt him. Deeper then he’d ever felt before. But, like all the other times, he managed to pick up the pieces of his broken heart and piece it back together. With the help of the redhead beside him.
After everything was over, he didn’t know where to go. L.A. didn’t seem like an option for him. The bonds and previous occurrences with Angelus were just too hard to deal with. And, after what happened with Buffy, L.A.’s appeal only got slimmer.
Plus, they had Dawn to take care of. He was also incredibly proud of the last of the Summers girls. She came back, showing her true strength by being courageous enough to render Xander unconscious, knowing she had to be there to fight with her sister until the end. That kind of courage inspired him. And so, he took on the responsibility, along with Willow to provide her with the life that she truly deserved.
That was another reason why he couldn’t go to LA. He couldn’t leave the burden of taking care of the teenager to Willow. It would not only be unfair but also heartless. And now more then ever, they knew that he possessed one. *He* knew he possessed one.
He tightened his grip on her hand, trying to tell her.. well, honestly, nothing in particular. Just that, he was there. And he was.
~*~
Dawn stared at the sidewalk. It was a mixture of colors that matched her mood. Dull, lifeless colors. She was tempted to reach down and either sink into it or hit it, hard. But, she didn’t. Instead, she continued walking, fast. In front of her two guardians. The only two left in her now empty and lonely life.
She was only 16. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to have everything around her just die away, quite literally, within an hour. Everything that she knew, everything that she believed in, it all went down the drain after that fight. After that last fight. And supposedly, they won.
Dawn bit back the harsh laugh. Ha, won. Yeah, that was the right word. If winning was losing faith in everything that you believed in. Then yeah, they definitely won. If winning involved the seeing all your friends and loved ones dying. Then yeah, they really did win.
She blinked, expecting tears to come out. But, they didn’t. Her eyes were dry now, in need of moisture. She had cried every day since they left Sunnydale. And now, not only was she all cried out, but also she was just too tired. Too tired to care. Too tired to even bother. Too tired to think. Too tired for everything.
Maybe, it was for the best.
The End