Notes: This is my retaliation against Joss & Company for hurting my Spike.
Notes2: Sequel to ‘For The Best’
Thanks: As always, to Em. :-) And, to everyone who asked for a sequel. Hope this doesn't disappoint.
**SPOILERS FROM SEASON 7**
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She said life's a lot to think about sometimes
When you're living between the lines
And all the stars they sparkle and shine everyday
He said life's so hard to move in sometimes
When it feels like I'm towin' the line
And no one even cares to ask me why I feel
this way
I know you feel helpless now and I know you
feel alone
That's the same road, the same road I am on
He said life's a lot to think about sometimes
When you keep it all between the lines
Of everything I want and I want to find, one
of these days
What you thought was real in life somehow steered
you wrong
Now you just keep drivin' tryin' to find out
where you belong
I know you feel helpless now and I know you
feel alone
That's the same road, that same road that
I am on
What you thought was real in life somehow steered
you wrong
Now you just keep drivin' tryin' to find out
where you belong
I know you feel helpless now and I know you
feel alone
That's the same road, that same road that
I am on
~^~**~^~
~Part: 1~
Willow watched the drop of water trickle down her face and onto the counter. She closed her eyes and bent down, leaning her forehead on the door of the cabinet below the sink. She sighed and tried to straighten out her emotions before walking out the door. Her eyes shot open when she heard the pounding on the door.
“Willow? I gotta do my hair. You done yet?”
The redhead bit her lip and got up. Looking in the mirror once again, she nodded to reassure herself and opened the door with a smile, “Sorry, Dawnie. You ready for this? First day and all.”
Dawn pushed passed her and muttered, “Yeah, exciting.”
Willow was about to say more when Dawn shut the door on her face. She shook her head and walked down the short hallway. Knocking gently on the door but getting no answer, she opened it and peeked her head around the corner.
“Spike?” In getting no reply, she said softly, “I’m gonna take Dawn to school. I’ve got an interview after that so I might be able to be back by noon.” Still no answer. “Alright, I’ll talk to you later, then.”
Closing the door, she shut her eyes tightly and pushed down the rising tears.
~^~**~^~
Spike never moved. Not even when Willow came into the room and told him of her morning plans. He pretended he was asleep, even though he wasn’t the least bit tired. He couldn’t sleep these days. The dreams and images would come back to haunt him. And this time, a change of location wouldn’t help any. This wasn’t the work of the First. This was his own mind, cruelly twisting all of his memories.
After the general shuffling had quieted down, Spike shoved the covers off of himself and got off the bed. He almost never got up before either of them left for whatever reason; Willow usually for another interview and Dawn for school set up issues.
The reason why, he didn’t know. He figured it was probably because he
wanted to be alone. But, he never dealt with his problems alone. Somehow,
somewhere, he would always find someone who would listen to his issues
and then helped solved them. The mere presence of another made him feel
just a bit better.
But, this time, it was different. This time, he actually cared.
~^~**~^~
Dawn walked down the hallways of the high school nervously. She hated
new schools. She hated that she had to start in the middle of the year.
She hated that she wouldn’t know anybody. She hated that things were changing.
Finding her locker, she started to put in the combination, focusing
more on the numbers rather then her thoughts. The books that the book store
assistant gave her seemed to be getting heavier and heavier. She set them
on the floor and focused on getting her locker open.
The harsh shrill of the bell made her jump and soon, students from all
corners of the school began pouring out of the doors. She looked at them
all. Every one of them different, varying in every which way. And yet,
all of them belonged somehow. She shrunk back, hoping somehow to blend
into the locker. But, she couldn’t. No one even glanced her way. Everyone
was too focused and caught up in their own world.
The repeating sound of the bell snapped her out of her thoughts and
as quickly as they came, they left. The hallway was empty again. She was
alone. Letting out a sigh of relief, she turned around, still focusing
on trying to get her locker open.
“You, where’s your pass?”
Dawn looked at the short, slightly chubby old lady, “I’m new. I’m trying
to figure out how to open my locker.”
The lady eyed her suspiciously, “They didn’t give you a pass?”
“No, I’m new.” She repeated, silently hoping the lady would leave.
“Yeah, I heard you the first time.”
Dawn clamped her mouth shut and waited for a response.
“Hurry up, you have 2 minutes. If I come back and you’re still here,
you have a detention.”
The young teen sighed and nodded eagerly, not wanting trouble. Dawn
watched as the teacher waddled down the hallway. She turned back to her
locker and rested her forehead against it.
She hated that she couldn’t get her locker open.
~Part: 2~
Spike walked around the empty apartment, cigarette in hand. He was still debating if he wanted to light it or not. He craved the nicotine, but he knew that if he lit it, Willow would know. He didn’t want to disappoint her, or Dawn.
He didn’t know why he’d been ignoring the two lately. For the first couple weeks, they had been there for each other, supporting one another in whichever way possible. But, just last week, Willow announced that they had to settle down. She needed to get a job with a steady income and Dawn needed her education.
That was when everything went downhill. After they finally settled in the apartment, Willow made the necessary appointments and now, everything was finally starting to work out. But, why had that weakened the relationship between the three?
Out of all the Scoobies, Willow and Dawn were the only ones that he could really stand. Other than Buffy, that is. But, the Slayer was different. She was.. Spike snapped himself out of his thoughts. He tried to avoid thinking of the blonde these days. He wouldn’t let himself mope about her, not again. Not like last time. He lost her again and now he would just have to deal with it.
Besides, Buffy would’ve wanted him to move on.
~^~**~^~
Willow leaned her head against the door, preparing herself for what was to come. She didn’t want to go in. Just the image of Spike brought back memories of Buffy and the rest of the gang. Around Dawn, it was even worse. She was trying to move on. She really was. But, how could she when everything that she was trying to get away from was haunting her daily?
She sighed and cursed herself for giving into tears so easily. Whispering a few words, she did a simple glamour spell to hide the tears. Turning the knob, she walked in and said in a fake cheery tone, “Hey, Spike. I’m home.”
Spike walked into the living room and sat on the couch, still uncomfortable that almost everything in the apartment was there because of Angel. Without Willow’s knowledge, Spike had gone to his grandsire for help one weekend. He had made an excuse to the redhead that he just needed a small break and since she was dealing with her own problems, she let him. Of course, she didn’t expect him to come back.
But, he did. With a wad of cash. He had set up an account with some ‘just in case’ money over the years, but he had no way of getting into the account without Angel’s help. Because of the dark haired vampire’s support, they weren’t scouring for money. And for that, Spike was eternally grateful.
The blonde vampire nodded a hello to her. He sipped his blood and look at her expectantly.
“I.. umm.. I got the job. I can start in a week,” she said, keeping up her façade.
“Great,” Spike replied simply. He almost frowned to himself. Why was he acting like this?
“It.. umm.. pays really well. And, after some persuasion, my hours fit in perfectly with my schedule.” She added quietly, “So, yea.”
“Right,” he flipped on the television and leaned back.
Willow stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. Her fake smile grew wider when she said, “So, I’ll just leave you to your shows then.” Without waiting for a response, she walked hurriedly to her room and shut it quietly. Her head fell back against the wooden barrier.
Her cheeks hurt like hell.
~^~**~^~
Spike watched as she scurried away and let out an unneeded sigh. Why was he doing this? He knew that his attitude, well, actually lack of attitude or attention of any kind, was hurting her. She was obviously trying to do the best she could in handling everything and he wasn’t helping at all. But, he was a vampire. So, why should he even care?
Because, he was a champion. Because, Buffy thought of him as a man. Even for just an instant. Even if it was too late for them then. She still thought of him as one.
God, he hated that he couldn’t go five minutes without thinking of Buffy. Every day, he would replay the scenes in his mind. And each day, he saved her.
Getting up, he turned off the TV. Passing by Willow’s room, he heard the quiet sobbing. She was crying again. Damn.
He reached for the doorknob, wanting to go in and comfort her. Maybe get some comforting in return as well.
But, he didn’t.
~^~**~^~
Dawn gripped the sides of the tray in an almost painful manner. She hated lunch. It was the defining moment on if you were truly popular or if you were just an outcast.
Right now, she was the latter. She had nobody to sit with.
She bit her lip and walked to an empty table, the colors of the chairs were faded, but she sat down anyway. Digging her fork into the all too watery macaroni and cheese, she sighed and pushed her lunch away. She wasn’t hungry.
“Want some company?”
Dawn’s head shot up in surprise. After a few moments, she finally stuttered, “U-Um, yeah, sure, of course.”
The girl smiled sweetly. She was pretty. Very pretty. Almost model like. Her long auburn hair was pulled back in a half up-do. She was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans with a lilac v-neck top. “So, you’re the new girl?”
Dawn looked down, “Is that my name now?”
The girl raised an eyebrow, “Well, no. But, I don’t exactly know your name so I can’t really call you anything else.”
A small smile slipped from her lips, “Dawn. My name’s Dawn.”
“Ahh,” the girl said with a grin, “See, I’ll call you by that from now on.” She paused, “I’m Rachel.”
Suddenly, a boy who looked a little older walked up and put his hands on Rachel’s shoulder. She jumped in surprise and turned to see who it is, “God, Matt, you scared the hell out of me!”
He grinned goofily and sat down at the table next to Rachel, “So,” He shot a charming smile at Dawn, “You are?”
Rachel cut in before she could reply, “This is my very new friend, Dawn.” She pointed an accusing finger at Matt, “You stay away from her. I like this girl.”
Matt continued to grin, “Oh, come on, Rach. I promise not to corrupt her.”
“No, I just don’t want you to scare her off by showing her your insane ways.”
Dawn looked at the interaction between the two. She smiled sadly. They reminded her of Buffy and Xander in so many ways. The goofy smiles, the friendly banter. God, she missed them. The young teen blinked back tears, not wanting to showcase such personal emotions in front of two people that she just met. She tuned back into the conversation just in time to hear Rachel’s introduction.
“Dawn, this is Matt, the idiot Junior.”
Matt shot a mock glare at Rachel, “Really, Rach, I’m just going by Matt now.”
Dawn stifled a giggle, “Hey.”
“So, how are you liking your first day here at the hellish prison we call Brooksville North?”
The brunette looked thoughtful for a moment, “It’s been,” she looked back at Matt, “Interesting.” She tapped her fingers on her tray, “I hate my locker though. I don’t think it likes me very much either.”
“Oh, those things are a big pain. Don’t worry, show me where it is and I’ll tell you how to get it open,” Rachel winked at her.
“And then there was this lady, kinda chubby, short. She threatened me with a detention.”
“Ahh,” Matt said, “So, you’ve met the lovely Ms. Witzcae.”
“She wasn’t that lovely to me.”
“That’s because she’s not,” Rachel stated bluntly. “She’s evil, I swear. Like a hell spawn or something.”
Dawn bit back her reply filled with all sorts of Hellmouthy facts, “Right.”
“So, tell me everything. I want to know it all. Where you’re from, sisters, brothers,” Rachel gave her a look, “family members in general, all that good stuff.”
“Yeah, you know it might be more convenient if you just ask her for an autobiography, Rach,” Matt deadpanned.
Rachel grinned, “Ok, alright, sorry for being so nosy but hey, just curious.”
Matt shook his head, “What we really want to know are the more important questions.”
Dawn bit her lip, not knowing what he was saying.
“Like, do you have a boyfriend?”
Rachel slapped him in the chest, “Oh, like that’s not personal. Hypocrite.”
~Part: 3~
Dawn shut the door the apartment with a smile, “Hey guys! I’m back.”
Her day had just gotten so much better. Rachel and Matt were probably two of the friendliest and understanding people that she’d ever met. And, if they were on a Hellmouth, she might’ve been just a bit suspicious about their attentions, but they weren’t. And so, she wasn’t either.
Dawn had given them the watered down version of her past. She told them that there was a big family tragedy and so she had to move away with just her ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle.’ That was how they were registered now. She was officially the niece of Willow Rosenberg. Willow had hacked into some files earlier on and changed a few things to make sure everything would go smoothly when registration came.
Dawn didn’t want to go stay with her dad. But, after the loss of Buffy, that was how things were going to be. It was the law. But, with a couple more switched records, Dawn Summers was now no longer related to Hank Summers. You’d think she’d feel a little bit guilty over the whole thing but it wasn’t like her dad cared anyway. Or if he did, he didn’t show it.
She sighed and looked around the living room. Where were they?
Suddenly, both of the came out of the hallway, bumping into each other. They stared at each other for a moment.
Dawn broke the uncomfortable silence, “School was umm.. fun.”
Willow smiled at her, “That’s good. That’s very good.” She paused, “Wait, how did you get home?”
“Friend.”
“You made a friend. That’s very.. good.”
“Yeah,” The brunette walked into the kitchen, “Do we have any ice cream? I’m in the mood for sweets.”
Willow smiled. Ok, talk over ice cream she could handle. “Yup, right here. Chocolate fudge,” She grinned at Dawn, “I got the good stuff.”
Spike cleared his throat, hoping to catch their attentions.
Willow looked up, “Oh, sorry, Spike, did you want some ice cream too?”
He shook his head, “No, I’ll let you chits bond or whatever. I’m going out.” He grabbed the jacket of the coat hanger, “Need blood.”
Willow let out a sigh of relief when Spike left. She grinned at Dawn, “Alright, spill. Why are you late? It’s already 5:00 nearing 6:00.”
Dawn smiled slyly, “One word. Matt.”
~^~**~^~
Spike opted for walking rather then driving. Even though the warehouse was a while away, he needed time to think. He had to get his thoughts straight. He couldn’t concentrate today at all. Hearing Willow’s soft sobs was nerve wracking. Especially since he knew that he could help dull the pain a bit by sharing in it. Misery loves company.
But, he didn’t. He just left her alone. Alone, to cry all by herself. The guilt shot through him. He hated this. He would always make some stupid mistake and then end up regretting it. It seemed nowadays he was brooding even more then his grandsire the Poof.
If he didn’t change soon, Willow might actually just give up on him. Or, maybe, she already did.
~^~**~^~
Willow looked around the apartment. “Hey, Dawnie, do you think you’ll be okay if I go out for about an hour? I need to pick up some groceries.”
Dawn nodded, her eyes glued to the television screen, “Yeah, sure, whatever.”
The redhead shook her head and smiled, “Alright, be back soon.”
“Uh huh.”
~^~**~^~
Willow glanced around the check out counter, waiting for the cashier to ring her up. Oooh, Twix. She snatched a package off the rack and placed it on the belt. After paying for her groceries, she walked along the streets of the silent town, savoring the glow of the moonlight.
She didn’t drive there. She walked, suspecting that Spike took the car even though she didn’t check to make sure. She sighed and continued to walk. Her head shot up suddenly. Something didn’t feel right. Something felt.. off.
Glancing around, she saw nothing suspicious. Maybe she was getting paranoid. Or, maybe not.
She was attacked from behind by a vampire. Willow stumbled slightly, dropping her groceries. She turned around just in time to be backhanded by the vampire. Moving back slowly, she tried not to pay attention to the fear that was rising in her. Her mind froze, the barrier spells that she had mastered before not coming to mind. She couldn’t move, why? What the heck was going on?
Out of nowhere, Spike came to her rescue. He punched the vampire around a bit before kicking him in the abdomen. The vampire stumbled right into Willow and she caught him. Quickly pushing him off, she shuddered.
“You’re gonna die, *witch*.”
Spike quickly shoved a stake through the vampire’s heart. As the dust settled, Willow tried not to shake but found herself doing so anyway.
“What were you doing out here, alone and without protection? You could’ve gotten killed. You almost did if I didn’t come. Willow?”
The redhead continued to back away from him, shaking her head, “It isn’t supposed to be like this. We’re not on the Hellmouth anymore.”
Spike raised an eyebrow, “There are vampires everywhere, luv.” He saw that she was still shaking and moved forward, wanting to help her, “He’s gone.”
She looked up, eyes frantic, “Gone? It’s never gone. They’ll always be here.” She bit her lip, not bothering to hold back the tears. She tapped the side of her head, “It’s always in here.” She held a hand to her heart, “And here.”
He was speechless, not knowing how to respond. Finally, after a few moments he whispered, “Willow.”
The redhead held up her hand, “Don’t. Please just don’t. We have to get back. Dawn.”
Spike nodded silently, not saying a single word. Somehow, he felt he was going to regret that.
~Part: 4~
Dawn glanced up from the television screen when Spike and Willow walked in. “Hey, I thought you were getting groceries.”
Willow smiled, “I was but ummm-“ Crap. What was she going to say? She didn’t want to tell her about the attack. The poor teen had enough to worry about these days. She didn’t need to worry about vampire issues too.
“She forgot her wallet,” Spike replied for the redhead. He shook his head, “Smart chit, she is.”
The brunette grinned, “Hey, you pulled a ‘Dawn’.”
“What?”
Dawn got up and walked towards the two in the kitchen. “You know, you forgot something. I always do that.”
Willow grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge and took a sip, “I’m gonna get to bed. Kinda tired. Don’t stay up too late, okay?”
“It’s Friday, Will. Let me have a little bit of fun.”
Spike watched as Willow walked to her bedroom, “Bit, I’m gonna call it a night too.”
Dawn frowned, “Why is everybody going to bed this early? You’re a vampire, this should be considered early for you.”
“Yeah, well, old age gets to you.”
~^~**~^~
When Spike was satisfied that Dawn was fully engrossed in the television show, he knocked gently on Willow’s door.
She opened the door, not looking up, “Dawnie, can it wait until tom-“
He gave her a small smile and she stepped out of the way, letting him inside. She closed the door with her back, “What is it, Spike?”
“I’ve been thinking.”
“Good to know.”
He sat down at the edge of her bed, “What that vampire said to you, he couldn’t have known that you were a witch. You didn’t do a spell.”
Willow frowned, “I really didn’t even pay attention to that.”
“I think he was probably sent by someone.”
The redhead leaned her head back and let out a deep sigh, “Great.”
“We’ve dealt with this type of thing before, Willow. It’s nothing we can’t handle.”
She rolled her hand into fist, “*We’ve* never dealt with this type of thing before. The Scooby Gang, yes. *Us*, no.”
“We can handle this, Red.”
“Spike, you have no idea who this vamp was sent by. It could be some Master vampire. And, if he knew that I was a witch then he obviously has connections too.”
He cocked his head to the side, “That’s not what scares you.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat, “What are you talking about?”
“You want to forget it all, don’t you? That’s what you’ve been trying to do for the past few weeks. It’s not working. I know. I’m going through it too, Willow. You *can’t* forget it. Like you said, it’s always there.”
Willow shook her head, “You think you know me, Spike.” She looked up at him and met his gaze, “But you don’t.” She opened the door. “We’ll deal with this in the morning. I’m tired.”
He didn’t move for a few moments but when she cleared her throat, he got up and headed out the door, knowing he couldn’t get through her right now.
Willow closed the door, hating that the mere mention of her past could bring tears to her eyes. God, she missed them.
But, she couldn’t cry again. She had been doing enough of that for the past few weeks. Right now, she needed to be strong for herself, for Dawn and even for Spike. There was obviously a new big bad that was after them, and they needed someone who was strong to handle it. She could be strong. She had to be.
~^~**~^~
Spike cursed himself again. Why did he always manage to screw things up? He was trying to get her to open up, but she only closed herself off further. She was crumbling, he knew. She needed someone there for her. And he wanted to be there for her but he just didn’t know how. He tried the more forward approach, didn’t work. Tried letting her come to him, didn’t work.
He was never that good at these types of things. In his past experiences, whoever needed him always came to him. All he had to do was comfort, nothing particularly hard. But, with Willow, it was different.
She was still trying to be strong and independent. She reminded him of Buffy in so many ways. But, he also remembered Buffy’s near destruction of herself a few years back. He couldn’t let Willow lead the same path. He had to help her. And, he would.
He just had to figure out how.
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