Pairing: W/S
Notes: Sequel to Masked Truths. It can be read on it’s own but there might be certain references to MT that you won’t understand, most likely in the first few parts, if you don’t read it.
Summary: Some things will never change.
Thanks: To QueenC for all the help!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
They were dealing. But not well.
The whole fiasco with the Bakape demon was finally over and done with. But the complications that came with it weren’t.
When the power source of the demon was destroyed, Buffy was sent back into her body and somehow, Angel’s soul automatically transferred to his body in Sunnydale. For a few weeks, the Scooby Gang researched on the subject but to no avail.
Faith and Angel returned to Los Angeles, taking Ethan along with them. The look on Giles’ face when he saw his old ‘friend’ decided that.
Drusilla remained in Sunnydale, staying in the Summers’ home of all places. It was almost ironic how well the Slayer and the vampiress got on. After the incident, it seemed like Buffy only spoke to her. She was too ashamed to talk to any of the others.
Nobody out of the gang blamed her for her choice. But she blamed herself. The demon destroyed much physically and when it finally was gone, once and for all, it took a part of Buffy’s spirit along with it.
~^~**~^~
Willow stared at the sky, lost in the allure of the twinkle of the stars contrasting with the darkness of the night. She leaned against the railing of the balcony, lost in her thoughts. It had been over 3 months since they returned from Venice but the wounds were still wide open, unhealed. The redhead had tried multiple times to speak to Buffy on how she was dealing but it seemed every time, the blonde found some excuse to either leave the conversation or switch topics.
She wanted to help. She really did. But she couldn’t. There wasn’t anything more she could do, because, Goddess knows she’s tried. <Why won’t she talk to me? I’m supposed to be her best friend.> But it seemed like their friendship was slowly fading away and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
So enamored in her thoughts, Willow never noticed Spike joining her on the balcony. It wasn’t until he wrapped his arms around her that she let out a small gasp and then smiled softly.
“I thought you were patrolling.”
“I was,” he whispered into her ear, “but then I saw this delicious redhead up on the balcony, staring at the stars, and I knew I had to come and get her.”
Her smile grew at his words, “How was everything?”
“Slow night.”
“Again?”
“Something’s coming, luv. And it’s making all the other demons hide or run away like scared little chits.”
Willow let out a worried sigh, “It’s never going to stop, is it?”
“What are you talking about, pet?”
“The demons, the fights,” she sighed again, “everything.” Willow shook her head, “It’s never going to stop.”
“Well, we do live on a Hellmouth, luv.”
“I know,” she replied softly.
Spike turned her around and looked into her green eyes, “Did something happen to you, luv? You seem different.”
“I’m fine.” The lie didn’t even sound convincing to her own ears.
Spike examined her carefully. Her voice was dull and her eyes lifeless. Something was wrong.
~^~**~^~
“Dru?” Buffy looked around the empty room worriedly. <Where was she?> She walked down the stairs and went into the living room. “Dru?” She called out again.
“Yes, dear strawberry?”
The blonde let out a sigh of relief, “Where were you? I was so worried.”
“I was down here. I wanted to get away.”
“Get away from what?”
“The voices.”
Buffy cocked her head to side and stared at her oddly, “What voices?”
“They were telling me naughty things. I didn’t want to hear.”
Sometimes it was almost shocking how innocent and vulnerable the vampiress sounded. Buffy had developed a knack for understanding and deciphering Dru’s ramblings over the past months. And to date, most of them had been quite telling and exact. If Dru was hearing voices that she didn’t want to hear, it couldn’t be good.
“What were they saying?”
“I can’t tell.”
Buffy nodded understandingly. When Drusilla got like this, she learned that it was best to let her come out with it by herself. Pestering never helped.
Drusilla held a hand up to her head and swayed slightly, “The dust has fallen and the water will fall soon. Things will be dirty and sticky. And when the wind comes, nothing will be clean.”
Buffy’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Dust?” The blonde paced for a few moments before heading for the phone, “Giles? It’s me. I think something’s up.”
~Part: 2~
The Scoobies, plus Drusilla, all gathered in Giles’s living room, waiting
for a reason as to why they were all called there all of a sudden.
Buffy began, agitated, “Something evil’s come again.”
Anya rolled her eyes, “Oh, that’s new.” She shut her mouth when the rest of the room turned to glare at her.
“I don’t know what it is, but it’s probably the reason behind the lack of action during patrols and Dru had a vision yesterday. Something about the dust has fallen. I’m guessing that whatever it is, it’s already here.”
Willow looked from the vampiress to the Slayer and asked, “If it’s already here, then shouldn’t there be an increase in demons and vamps, rather then a decrease?”
“Like I said, luv, they’re all hiding. Either that or this evil has rounded them all up.”
The redhead let out a sigh, tired from the repetitive actions, and grabbed a book, “What are we supposed to be looking for?”
The blonde shrugged, “I don’t know. Dru’s visions aren’t exactly precise in details.”
Willow slammed the book shut with an aggravated sigh and demanded, “Then how are we supposed to find anything?”
Buffy took a step back, “Why are you attacking me?”
Spike put a reassuring hand on Willow’s shoulder and immediately the redhead let out a sigh, “I-I-I’m sorry, Buffy. I don’t..” She turned away for a second and then back, “I’m sorry.”
Buffy eyed Willow carefully, “Are you okay, Will?”
“Fine,” the redhead replied shortly.
“Liar.”
Willow cocked her head to the side and stared at Buffy incredulously, “Excuse me?”
“Liar.” Buffy said simply, her expression never changing.
“You’re one to talk!”
“Don’t try to push this onto me.”
“Guys, maybe we-“ Both girls shot death glares at Xander for cutting in and he backed away, pushing Anya in front of him.
“Girls,” Giles said clearly, “Stop being so bloody childish. We have a demon or some sort of evil to take care of. Now is not the time to pick fights.”
The redhead looked at the Watcher and then at Buffy. She kept her mouth shut, not wanting to be the first one to give in.
Buffy stared right back and flinched from the sudden contact when Drusilla touched her on her arm.
“Don’t.”
The Slayer looked into Drusilla’s eyes and relaxed. She turned to Willow, “Look, let’s just not fight. We can deal with it later. Right now, Giles is right, we gotta focus.”
Willow nodded and took a seat beside Spike. She opened a book but her eyes never made it to the page. Why did she attack Buffy all of a sudden? True, she was frustrated that her best friend was shutting her out, but Buffy had done that before, it was just her way of dealing. She never confronted her about it before, so why this time? And why so harshly? Something was going on, and she didn’t like it.
~^~**~^~
Willow walked out of Giles’s apartment, desperate for some fresh air. She sat on the steps, trying to sort out her thoughts. Her head snapped up when she heard the sound of a door open and close.
“What’s going on, Will?”
Without turning, Willow replied, “I should ask you the same thing, Buffy.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The redhead shook her head, “Right, because you never do.”
“What do you want from me, Willow? Because, I am trying. I am trying as hard as I can. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to deal with this?”
“It’s not just *you* who’s dealing, Buffy! We’re all dealing. But at least none of us are shutting ourselves out again.”
“I have no choice.”
Willow turned around and looked at her, “What?”
“I have no choice,” the blonde repeated. “I can’t deal with this and pretend to be all buddy-buddy with you guys at the same time.” Tears shone through Buffy’s hazel eyes, “You may have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself. I can’t go back to what we had before without doing that.”
“Why are you doing this to yourself, Buffy? You don’t think that we hurt when we see you like this?”
“I can’t,” Buffy backed away, “I just can’t, Will. Don’t make me.”
“Buffy,” Willow said softly, “I’m not trying to make you do anything. I’m just trying to help you.”
“Well, don’t.” Buffy replied coldly, “I don’t want your help.”
“You need it,” Willow retorted, “Look at what’s happening and *try* to tell me that again.”
“I am, Willow.” The blonde shook her head, “You have *no* idea how much I’m looking and seeing what I’m doing to myself. This is what I deserve.”
“Stop it!” Willow yelled before letting a few tears slip. “Just stop it!”
“I can’t, Willow.” Buffy sobbed, “As much as I want to, I can’t.”
“Just let me in, Buffy, please.”
“I can’t.” Buffy pushed passed the crying redhead and walked off, never turning her back.
~^~**~^~
“You don’t actually think you can beat them, do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you mean, what do I mean?” The voice said firmly, “This is the Slayer and her little band of do-gooders. You can’t possibly think you can beat them.”
“Do you know who I am?”
“Oh, god, spare me the ego talk.” After a few moments of silence, the voice spoke again, “You’ll lose.”
“No, I won’t.”
“And how are you so sure?”
“Because, when I’m through with them, there’ll be no more band of do-gooders as you so nicely put it.”
“What are you planning?”
“Not planning, already doing.”
~Part: 3~
Buffy walked away from Giles’ apartment, feeling a large part of her slip away with tears that slid down her face. It was almost as if she had no control over her emotions anymore. Whenever she was around Willow, everything just fell apart. But, the redhead was her best friend. They got through everything together, which in fact, made the whole situation even more ironic.
The blonde stopped walking and looked up at the sky, wishing that the stars could give her the answers though she knew they couldn’t. She closed her eyes as she felt a rush of power went through her. Her eyes snapped open and she visibly shuddered. What the hell was that?
And, suddenly, all emotion went out of her. She lifted her hand up to her face, feeling only the salty remains of the tears she cried before but nothing else. She looked around, not feeling confused, not feeling a sense of curiosity, nothing. Instead, she just continued to walk down the street until the rush of power hit her again and she collapsed onto the sidewalk.
Buffy gasped loudly as she felt everything, the emotion overpowering. She crawled to her feet, trying to maintain her balance as she turned around, heading straight for Giles’ apartment. Something was wrong.
Something was *very* *very* wrong.
~^~**~^~
Willow was the first to stand up as Buffy burst through the door, her
breath coming in short pants. Without a second thought, the redhead rushed
to her side, holding onto her as Buffy was still trying to stabilize her
breathing. “What happened?”
Buffy looked up at her, the fear obvious in her hazel eyes, “I couldn’t feel anything. Something,” she shook her head in shock, “Something came over me and I couldn’t feel. Something’s controlling our emotions, Will.” She grabbed onto her tightly, “That’s what’s happening.”
Willow’s brow furrowed, “Emotions? Something can control our emotions?” She repeated, “Don’t we have control over our own emotions though?”
Spike shrugged before pointing out, “We thought we had control over our own actions and mind. That bloody demon proved us wrong.”
The redhead held onto Buffy tighter before whispering, “It never stops.”
Buffy looked at her in confusion before Giles came to her aid and helped her to the couch before Drusilla promptly placed both her hands over her forehead, eyes closed while doing so.
“Dru, what are you doing?”
Drusilla looked at Buffy before whispering sternly, “Shh, strawberry, I’m searching.”
Anya raised an eyebrow about to make a comment before Xander shook his head ‘no’. This was not the time to joke around.
Willow moved into Spike’s arms, slightly worried about what was happening and what Drusilla would see. The vampiress’ visions always came true and that was what scared Willow the most. She didn’t want to know anymore. The only thing that remained constant in Drusilla’s visions was pain and death. They just went through that and she wasn’t too keen on experiencing it all over again.
Giles came out of the kitchen, a cup of tea for Buffy in his hands before he sat on the edge of the couch, waiting for Drusilla to tell them what she saw. When she finally opened her eyes again she backed away, whimpering, “There’s nothing.”
“Well, that’s a bit harsh,” Anya commented, “Even for Buffy.” Seeing the looks thrown at her direction she leaned closer to Xander, “Okay, okay, I know, being quiet now.”
Buffy looked at Drusilla in confusion, “What do you mean there’s nothing?”
“I can’t see through it. There’s a haze. That’s all.”
Willow took a step forward, “Do you mean a spell?”
Drusilla shook her head in reply, not knowing the answer.
Xander sighed and tried to lighten the mood, “So, here we go, all over again, right?”
Buffy nodded numbly, “Yeah, all over again.”
~Part: 4~
“What’s bothering you, luv?” Spike asked as he wrapped his arms around her.
Willow stared out at the expanse of sky before her, the darkness of it all drawing her in. “Our emotions, Spike. That’s just,” she sighed, “I don’t know what’s real anymore. I don’t know if what I’m feeling right now is due to someone controlling me or if I *really* feel that.”
He held onto her tightly and placed his chin on her shoulder, “I know this is confusing.”
“It’s more then just confusing,” she said matter-of-factly, “It’s everything. I feel that sometimes all I have left is the way I feel and my emotions and feelings are the only things that I can trust. The only thing that I have anymore and now, I don’t even have that.”
“You’ll always have me,” he whispered into her ear.
Willow wanted to believe all he said but something made her stop. She pulled away from him and looked him in the eye, “No, I won’t.”
“What?”
“I didn’t have you for that week when everything was still messed up between you, Buffy, and the Bakape demon. And, now that another demon or whatever is messing with our feelings, how do I know I’ll still have you?”
“Nothing,” Spike said firmly, “Nothing can take me away from you. That demon proved just that.”
“God, I don’t know anymore. I’m so tired of all these thoughts in my head,” She paused, “They just, they confuse me so much.”
He grabbed onto her shoulders gently and kissed her forehead, “Then don’t think about it.”
“Easier said then done.”
“Shhhh,” he put his arm around her waist and led her inside the apartment and onto the bed, “Just sleep.”
She leaned back into the pillow, trying her best to put her thoughts on pause, “Will you be here in the morning?”
“Yes,” he crawled onto the bed and pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head, “I will.”
With her fears comforted for now, she closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep, his arms wrapped around her.
~^~**~^~
“This doesn’t make any sense,” Anya stated as she lied in bed with Xander.
“What?” He groaned as he was suddenly awakened from his sleep, “I thought you were sleeping, An.”
“No, *you* were sleeping. I was awake, staring at your ceiling, listening to you snore.”
He turned on his side and looked her in the eye, “What doesn’t make any sense?”
“This supposed spell to control emotions.”
“What do you mean?”
“You can’t control emotions, Xander, it just doesn’t work. A certain demon can make someone *feel* or lean towards an emotion but you can’t control a human’s emotions because there’s just too many.”
“What if it was a spell?”
“There aren’t any spells like that. I’ve been around for awhile, I think I should know.”
“Well, then what do you think it is that’s making Buffy and Willow feel that way?”
“I think it’s unresolved issues but that’s not all of it. I think there’s some truth to Buffy’s assumption but it just doesn’t make sense that *one* demon can have the power to control *all* the emotions that there are. It just doesn’t fit.”
“I think it’s official that you’re an honorary Scooby.”
“What?” She raised an eyebrow, “Why?”
“You’re thinking about this way too much. You’re losing valuable sleep time over this.”
She smiled at him, “I’m worried about them. I mean, after everything that they’ve done for me, everything that *everybody* did for me, I’m just grateful.”
He leaned in and kissed her on the lips softly, “You should get captured by demons more often then.”
Anya looked at him before slapping him, “Hey! Now, you just jinxed me.”
He grinned before pushing the hair out of her face, “I love you, Anya.”
She smiled goofily before snuggling closer, “I know.”
There was a few moments of silence before Xander spoke up, “And?”
She raised an eyebrow at his prompt before letting out a sigh, “And
I love you too.”
~^~**~^~
Buffy’s head snapped up when she heard the noise but she relaxed when she saw Drusilla’s approaching figure. She leaned her forearms against the kitchen table and took a sip of her hot chocolate. “Why are you still up, Dru?”
“I can hear all the whispers in your head, lovey.”
She smiled at her, “Yeah, I know. My mind has kinda been in overdrive lately.”
Drusilla walked up to her and placed her hand on the side of her head, humming a soft tune to herself. When she let go, the vampiress smiled at her, “Better?”
Buffy let out a small smile, “A little. Now, it’s not so jumbled.”
“Rest, dearie, it’ll all be better soon.”
“I hope so.”
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