Sweet Denial

Author: WildCherry45

Author’s Email: shopaholicgurl45@yahoo.com

Notes: Sequel to Sweet Misery

Notes2: Third in the ‘Sweet’ Series

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Joss & Company own all. Linkin Park owns ‘My December.’

Thanks: As usual, to Em, because she’s one of the nicest and sweetest people I’ve ever had the luck to talk to. She’s also a wonderful beta and she thought up this plot line. Sweetie, you’re just fantastic! Thank you *so* much!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 
 

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

This is my December
This is my snow covered home
This is my December
This is me alone

And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things that I said to you

And I'd give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

This is my December
These are my snow covered dreams
This is me pretending
This is all I need

And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things that I said to you

And I'd give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

And I'd give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to
 
 

~^~**~^~

~Part: 1^~

One week. That was how long it took for her to block herself up. Sure, the Scooby Gang had tried to make contact with her. Numerous times, Dawn would come to her door with a smile but Willow would only brush her off, nicely of course. But still, it stung. After Tara left for good, it had only gotten worse. When news traveled to Xander that Willow’s ex-girlfriend had decided to leave Sunnydale, he was over to the Summers home in an instant, ready to give his full support but still, she wouldn’t accept. Even Giles had stopped by but still, no reciprocation was given.

She didn’t want to feel anymore, didn’t want to care about anyone, ever again. It all hurt too much. For that one night, he really did make it stop. Even if it was only for a few sweet hours, he really did. And it wasn’t by false words or lies. All he did was hold her. And it stopped.

She had run away early in the morning, scared. She didn’t understand what it meant, how she felt. But when she was out of his arms, it began to hurt again. Hurt more then she could ever believe. The repercussions of her actions hit her all at once. She finally realized what she had done. All the actions of her past, present, and future hit her. Starting from the spell that brought Buffy back all the way up to Tara’s eventual death if she stayed. It seemed everything she touched or would touch, she’d destroyed.

Her relationship with her best friend was gone. Her relationship with the one man she truly loved with all her being, also gone. And, she managed to ruin the relationship with the other that held her heart, twice.

Faith had told her before that it would all fade with time. Time. There’s so much of it and yet so little. Time was what she had messed with in the first place. This was her punishment. She was paying for her actions. Or at least, that was what she thought.

That’s what she still thinks.

~^~**~^~

“You’ve been ignoring me.”

Willow stopped in her steps and sighed, her back still to Spike, “I’ve been getting that a lot.”

“That’s probably because you’ve been doing it a lot.”

She turned around and looked at him expectantly, “What do you want?”

“To talk.”

“Nothing to talk about.”

“What’s happened to you, Willow?” He walked up to her and touched her cheek, trying to ignore the feelings that it sparked, “You’ve become so cold.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Consider the source.”

His arms returned to his side as he stared intensely at her, “What’s wrong?”

A laugh erupted from the redhead’s lips, “What’s wrong?” She shook her head, “Oh, where do I begin?”

Spike looked at her, waiting.

“You don’t think I’m actually going to *tell* you, do you?”

“Well, yeah, I mean-“

“Spike,” she cut him off, “Things are different now, okay? This time around, I’m not going to be making the same mistakes as I did last time.”

His expression turned to one of confusion, “Mistakes, pet, what mistakes?”

She took a step forward, “If only you knew, all the things I did. All the things I *could’ve* done. I had, no, scratch that, *have* the power to destroy the world.”

“That’s in your past, err, future,” he shook his head, “You know what I mean. That’s not what you are *now* or what you’ll become.”

“I filleted a man. Killed him an inch at a time. *Enjoyed* it.” She smirked, “Remember the rush of taking a life? Well, I guess you don’t, what with the chip and all. But, it was exhilarating.”

“You’re *not* a killer, Willow.”

“Oh, no?” She cocked her head to the side, “It sure seemed like I was.”

“Look, I don’t know all the details of what happened, because you didn’t tell me, but from what I do know,” he paused, “You’re not a killer. You’re a good person.”

“This coming from someone who isn’t a person at all.”

“Why are you attacking me?”

“Just telling the truth. Hard to accept, isn’t it?” She hung her head down before looking back up and turning on her heel.

He reached out and grabbed her elbow, pulling her back, “Wait.”

“What is it?”

“Something happened with Tara. You said something about how if she stayed with you, she’d die.”

She pulled her arm away and glared at him, “Well, she’s not with me *now*, is she? She’s gone. She’s safe.”

“She was never in danger. Whatever happened to her, it isn’t going to happen now, you know how to prevent it.”

Willow let out a small laugh, “No, I don’t. I didn’t then and I still don’t know how. The only way that she can be safe is if she’s away from me. There’s no other way. I caused it all.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “It’s all my fault.”

“Bloody hell, you trying to compete with the poof for the broodiest being alive?”

She shot another glare at him, “I’m *not* brooding.”

“Really, cuz it looks a hell of a lot like it from here.”

“What do you know?”

“Obviously, more then you’d like me to.”

“You think *I’m* bad, what about you? Pining over a *Slayer*, Spike? Following in the footsteps of dear ol’ dad.”

He shook his head, “Not anymore, luv. It was insanity.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, “An insanity that lasted *six* months! What made it change, Spike? What’s different now?”

His hands rolled into fists, “Everything.”

“Wow, how utterly *vague* of you.”

“You gotta give a little to get some.”

“I don’t want anything from you, Spike. Just leave me alone.” She began to walk away again.

“Like how everybody is these days?” He almost smirked when she stopped in her steps. “You’ve become so bitter and cold that your *best* friends don’t even want to be around you.”

“Solitude isn’t a bad thing,” she replied quietly.

“It isn’t?” He scoffed, “Look what it’s doing to you, Willow! You were.. just last week, you were so much more alive. You were heartbroken, sure, but at least you still had some sort of life in you and now, you’ve just about given up. You’ve shut down.” He moved in closer until their faces were only inches away, “You’ve pushed everyone away. Everyone except me. And I won’t let you go.”

She looked down sadly, “You’re not going to give up, are you?”

He lifted her chin with his finger, “No, I’m not.”

Willow threw a punch right to his jaw. His head snapped back in shock. He held his jaw in hand and stared at her incredulously. “Am I worth it, Spike?”

He straightened out his back, “Yes, you are.”

Her leg shot out but he caught it in time. She flipped herself backwards and the foot connected with his chin. He stumbled back and shook his head, “I’m not going to hurt you, Willow. And I’m not giving up. No matter what you do, I won’t.”

She stood in fighting stance, “Why?”

“Looks like I have some qualities of Peaches in me after all.”

She relaxed slightly at his joke and stared at him, confused, “Why are you doing this, Spike? Honestly, you didn’t care about me the first time around, why now?”

He stepped forward and brushed the hair out of her face, “Do you really need an answer? I’m here, isn’t that enough?”

She looked down again and sighed. She wasn’t going to get rid of him. She knew that now. Damn it, out of all the creatures in the world, she just had to have shared her feelings with Spike. Stupid bleached idiot was just too stubborn. She looked back up and saw the real want to help in his eyes. Maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad.  “For now,” she linked her arm through his, “I’m sorry for hitting you, twice. Come on, we’re only a block away from my house, let’s get you some ice.”

He leaned into her, enjoying her warmth, “You pack quite a punch, Red.”

She smiled, “Yeah, I’ve been told that a lot too.”

~^~**~^~

Willow threw Spike a small ziplock bag full of ice before sitting down with him on the couch, “Everyone’s at the Magic Box.” She clasped her hands together, “Everyone except me.”

“And me.”

“Quite a pair,” she said quietly.

They sat in silence for a few moments before she spoke up, “The last time Buffy died, the first time, it was hard. But, we moved on, we moved on together. There were so many fights that we could’ve lost but we did it all together and we made it. And then I brought her back. I was so afraid that she might’ve been stuck in some hell dimension. I was just- I missed her, I missed her so much. It was like a part of me jumped off that bridge with her. I didn’t realize I had ripped her out of heaven. And you know, she didn’t even tell us, not until she was under the spell of a demon. She didn’t tell *us*, she told you.”

“What?”

“Before I did the time spell, I had a long talk with her, you came into the conversation. The first time around, you saved her, but you also nearly destroyed her.”

“Buffy?” He looked at her, brows furrowed, “She-We were together?”

“Shagging like bunnies.”

“Why?”

“You loved her, maybe you still do. She-she just wanted to feel.”

“She used me.”

“Simply put, yeah.”

The silence hung over them again. “I don’t love her anymore.”

“Are you sure? Last time you definitely had me convinced.” She leaned back against the couch, “You got a soul for her, you know.”

“I- what?” He stared at her, jaw dropped, “Why?”

“Well, you and I didn’t exactly talk much before but I’m assuming because you wanted her to love you back. Love you like you loved her.”

“I didn’t think she’d love me without a soul, so I went and got one?”

“Yup.”

“I was a stupid bloke.”

Willow looked up at him with surprise, “What?”

“She wouldn’t love me either way. If she didn’t love me for who I was, if she didn’t accept the demon in me as well as the man, then she never would. Even if she did profess her love to me one day, which I doubt she did, I don’t think she would’ve meant it.”

She smiled at him, genuinely, “You’re much more insightful then I thought you were.”

“Thanks.”

Willow looked at the empty house, paying attention to the details, “I miss her still. I still wake up everyday, expecting to see her there, but she isn’t.”

“It will heal, over time.”

Her head shot up at the familiarity of the words, “Yeah, everything heals with time.” She sighed, “Spike?”

“Yeah, luv?”

“When you were still a human, did you believe in true love?”

He looked at her, completely perplexed and thrown off by the question, “Umm, yeah, I did. Hopeless romantic, I was.”

She looked down at the ring still on her finger and twisted it a few times, “Did you ever find it?”

“Sadly, no. At least, not while I was human.”

The sound of his voice drew her back to the conversation, “Right,” she continued to stare at her ring, “Drusilla.”

He studied her and shook his head. She didn’t catch the action as she was still playing with her ring. “What’s that?”

She looked back at up at him, “What?”

“The ring, where’d you get it?”

She cleared her throat, “Umm, William, actually.”

Spike forced out a smile, “Good old William, ehhh?” <Bleedin’ Hell, I’m jealous of an alternate version of *me*.>

“Yeah, good old William,” Willow whispered.

“You miss him, don’t you?”

She laughed lightly, “That obvious?”

“Your eyes give it away.”

Their gaze met, “Don’t they always?”

He held her hands in his and started to rub small circles for comfort, “Want to talk about it?”

She withdrew her hands and stood up, “You know, kind of creepy when you wear his face.”

“He may look like me, Willow, but he *isn’t* me.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Why are you scared of me?” He moved forward and she backed away.

“I-I’m not.”

“Then why won’t you let me touch you?”

“I-I just, c-can you please just leave?”

“Why?”

Willow looked at him desperately, “Please, just go away.”

“No,” He started after her when she began to walk away, “I’m not letting you brush me off so easily again.” He grabbed a hold of her shoulders, “Willow!”

She stood frozen, the tears slipping out of her eyes. She looked up at him, mesmerized by his eyes and lifted a trembling hand to his cheek, “It’s almost like he’s here.” She caressed the side of his face, “It hurts less when I’m with you. I don’t know why but it just does. You numb my pain.” Her hands weaved their way into his hair and were slowly pulling his head down until their lips were a mere inches away.

He pushed her away before their lips met, the distress obvious in his stature, “I’m not going to let you *use* me, Willow.”

She sneered, “Why? You let Buffy.” Fire entered her eyes, “What? Am I not *good* enough for you?”

“No,” He reached out to touch her but she slapped his hand away, “You’re *too* good for me, but I still want you. Believe me, I want you, but not like this. Not so you can pretend I’m someone I’m not.”

She stomped her way to the door and whipped it open, “*Leave*.”

“Willow, please.”

“Leave.”

He walked to the door and stared at her, “Plea-“

“Go.”

“I can’t be him, not ever.”

She looked up and glared at him, “Yeah, I know that now.”

Before the words could even sting, she slammed the door shut. He let out an unneeded sigh and turned around, walking to his cold and empty crypt.

~^~**~^~

Willow leaned her forehead against the door. God and she thought *Buffy* was moody? She went from cold to attack to friend to pounce within an hour. It seemed Spike pushed her to the edge of emotions also. The redhead looked down at her ring and tried to restrain the tears again. Why did it still hurt so much?
 
 

She did the right thing. Everything was in its proper place. Everything was balanced now, well, between dimensions at least. In her mind and in her heart, things were no where near balanced. She was slowly crumbling, she could feel it, and there was nothing anybody could do to help her.
 

Xander had always said that she was too stubborn for her own good. And this time, Willow knew that the only person that could fix everything was herself, even if she wasn’t ready to. So many wounds, so fresh.
 
 

Goddess, hadn’t she dealt with enough already? The first time around was hard enough and it seemed the second time wasn’t going to be any easier. But, this time, she didn’t have the support and love of her best friend. All she had was.. she had nobody. Except Spike.
 
 

He was right. She really didn’t have anybody except him. Sure, she could put on the happy face for her friends but she could never reveal the truth to the rest of the Scoobies. They wouldn’t understand. There was just too much, it was all too complicated.
 
 

She was stuck, alone, hollow.. again. At least the last time this happened, Xander was there and he saved her with his words. But, this time, nobody would save her. Not even Spike. Not after that ensemble that she had just put on.
 
 

She shook her head in disgust. What was she doing? She was behaving exactly like Buffy. She couldn’t use Spike like some sex toy just to make her feel. She did feel, it was that she felt too much.
 
 

Willow was tempted to go back to her numb stage but inside, a voice was screaming, telling her not to. The hard way is painful but it was the right way to go. Spike was right, she couldn’t shut herself off. She could deal with this. She could accept it.
 
 

Besides, it was a rightful punishment.

~Part: 2~

“Willow?”

The redhead glanced up and when she saw the teen, she rushed over to hug her, “Oh, Dawnie, I missed you.”

Dawn patted her back awkwardly, “Umm, okay? Will, I missed you too.” After a few seconds, she still wasn’t moving, “Will, I need to breathe.”

Willow backed away with a smile that made the teen shift uncomfortably, “I was just wondering if you wanted to do something tomorrow. Like something fun.”

“What’d you have in mind?” She paused, “Tomorrow’s Tuesday, Dawnie, you have school.”

“Well, *I* don’t. Teacher’s institute or something like that,” she shrugged, “I don’t want to spend the whole day at home.”

“Faith and I have classes and Will and Xander have work.”

“Well, can’t you get someone to cover for you?”

William walked through the door and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, “Sweetie,” he kissed her on the head, “Why doesn’t Dawn come with you and watch?”

Dawn squealed happily, “Oh, I like that idea!”

Willow giggled, “Alright, I guess that’ll be okay.”

“Can I bring Janice?”

“Who?”
 

”Janice, best friend, can I bring her along?”

“Ummm,” Willow looked at Dawn uncertainly but the expression on the teen’s face decided it all. “Alright, I guess you can. But, she has to get a ride here. You know what time I leave at, don’t be late.”

“You guys are the best!” Dawn chirped before going off into the kitchen to call her friend.

“Hey! My class, me here, I’m the best!” Willow said with mock offense.

William smiled before leaning down and kissing his way down her neck.

“Will,” she breathed, “She doesn’t know, does she?”

He stopped when he got to her collarbone, “No, she doesn’t.”

Willow nodded and then sighed, “Don’t tell her.”

“I won’t.”

She turned around and pressed her palms against his chest, “Do you have to leave?”

He looked up at the clock and sighed, ‘Yeah, I do.”

Willow leaned the side of her head against him and whispered, “Stay? Just for a little while.”

He combed his fingers through her hair, “Whatever you want.”

~^~**~^~

“You know, if she stays like this I think we might have an extra seat at the wedding.”

“An!”

The blonde shrugged, “What? I’m just saying.”

“She’s my best friend, An. She’s coming.”

“She’s not even talking to you, Xander. She’s obviously going through some sort of manic-depressive state.” Anya’s ramblings stopped when Xander elbowed her in the stomach, “What?” She turned around and saw Willow standing in the doorway to the store, not saying a word.

“Will,” Xander forced out a smile, “How’ve you been?”

“Fine,” The redhead whispered, she tried to keep a happy expression on her face, “So, what are you guys doing?”

“Planning the wedding,” Anya replied with a smile, “We finally have the time to.”

“Giles and Dawn went to pick up some food. Looks like another research session.”

“New demon in town?”

“No, just wanted to be sure. It was getting too quiet for the likes of our dear old Watcher.”

“Oh,” Willow replied, the smile faltering slightly.

Just then, the bell rang and she jumped up, thankful for the distraction. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the person she was expecting.

“Junior,” Xander let out an impatient sigh, “What are you doing here?”

“Got bored,” he replied, looking right at Willow.

She looked down and grabbed the laptop out of her bag.

“Is Spike coming to the wedding?”

Xander looked at her incredulously, “No!”

“But, isn’t he technically one of our friends? I mean he does help us and-“

“An, maybe we should have this conversation elsewhere.” He grabbed her by the elbow and shot an apologizing smile towards Willow.

The redhead sat down at the table and turned on her laptop. She tapped her fingers against the table impatiently.

Spike looked at her, not knowing where to start, “How are you, luv?”

She didn’t look up, she continued to stare at her monitor, willing the laptop to hurry up.

“I-I don’t know what else to say.”

She finally glanced up at him, “You don’t have to say anything, Spike.” Her voice dropped down to a whisper, “Really, you don’t have to.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, the desperation clear in his voice. He moved forward, “Willow.”

Willow cursed herself silently as the tears began to rise again. Damn it, now was *not* the time to break down and cry over guilt. She shut her laptop without a word and put it back in her bag. She pushed past Spike and knocked on the door to the training room, “Xander? Anya?”

“Yeah?”

Willow heard the sound of his voice through the door, “Look, I have a headache. I think I’m just gonna go home, okay?”

She turned on her heel and began to walk out of the store when Spike’s voice stopped her, “You can’t keep running away.”

Willow shook her head as she turned back, “Let me go, Spike. Just let me go.”

Xander came out of the training room with Anya tagging behind, “Will!” He looked around the store, “She left that quickly?” His eyes narrowed on Spike, “What’d you do?”

“Nothing,” He replied without venom in his tone. The vampire sat down onto the couch in a defeated manner, “Absolutely nothing.”

The young brunette looked at him confused. Why wasn’t Spike arguing back? What the hell happened?

“Spike, you are welcome to our wedding. And, you can bring a guest if you want,” Anya said with a smile. “Shouldn’t that be giving you happy fluttery feelings?” She looked toward Xander, “Shouldn’t it?”

Xander glanced back at his fiancée with a reassuring smile, “Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He looked back at Spike, “Junior, you don’t have to help us research if you don’t want to.”

Spike glanced up and saw the care in his eyes. Well, he’d never thought he’d see the day when Xander Harris would actually care about him, “Thanks, mate.”

He watched Spike go through the door and sat down at the table. When he looked up, Anya was watching him suspiciously, “What?”

The blonde leaned forward with a critical eye, “Were you just hitting on him?”

~Part: 3~

Spike returned back to the crypt and flopped down onto his couch. Things were going badly. Very badly. He brought his hand up to massage his forehead. Bloody hell, could vampires even get migraines? When he looked back up, he nearly jumped out of his seat in shock.

“Buffy?”

The blonde smiled at him, “Spike, believe me when I say I’m just as surprised as you are that they sent me to talk to you.”

“They sent you?” He paused, “The Powers That Be sent you to talk to me? Why?”

She shrugged, “Well, I guess because I know you, even though I never really liked you all that much. Oh,” she grinned, “Guess you weren’t really talking about that. Umm, right, how can I vague this up a bit?”

Spike stared at her in shock. Here she was, back from the dead, and she was acting as if nothing happened. <Well, that’s the Slayer for you.>

She smiled, “I’ve dealt with it, Spike. I’ve had a lot of time to actually. It’s for the best.”

“How did you-“

“Hello? Sent by the PTB here. Don’t underestimate them, Blondie.” She smiled at him, “You need to get through to Willow. It’s going to be hard but you can’t give up. She’s been through a lot, Spike. Believe me, she has. But, you guys are connected.”

“Connected? How?”

“You’ll see. Like I said, I can’t really tell you much. I’m not allowed to.”

“Why do the Powers That Be even care about relationships between mortals and vampires?”

“They don’t, well, at least not usually. But this one is different.”

He cocked his head to the side, “What aren’t you telling me?”

“A lot of things, actually. Like I said, not allowed to. You’ll see. Everything will work out in the end. Just, don’t give up.”

Spike nodded and looked up at her once more, still in awe that she was really here, “You look happy.”

She smiled again, “I really am.”

~^~**~^~

Willow felt his presence long before he showed himself. Which is when he did, it came as no surprise to her, “Spike.”

“You felt me, didn’t you?”

She looked up at him surprised, “How did you-“

“How did I know?” He finished for her, “Because I can feel you too.” He stepped closer and this time, she didn’t back away, “We’re connected.”

She shook her head, “How?”

“I don’t know, but we are.”

“No, I’ve lived on the Hellmouth for too long. I’m bound to be able to feel vamps when they *stalk* me.”

“It’s not a spider sense feeling though, is it?” He questioned, “It’s more of a burning feeling. Something inside you can always tell that I’m near you.”

She continued her steps and tried to ignore him, “What’s your point?”

“My point is you can’t get rid of me, no matter how much you want to. I will always be there. In your mind, in your soul, in your heart.”

She shook her head in denial, “You may be in my mind but you are *not* in my soul or my heart. That’s *William*.” She began to walk away again, not wanting to breech the subject of her ex-lover.

“I saw her. She came to me.”

Willow turned around in confusion, “What?”

“Buffy. The Powers That Be sent her to deliver a message.”

“What message?”

“That we’re connected.”

She faltered for a moment. He could be telling the truth. After all, Buffy had visited her before. A sadness filled her heart when she was reminded of her best friend. She continued to stare at the sidewalk in silence for a few moments. Then again, he could be lying, “Cut the crap, Spike. How dumb do you think I am?”

“I don’t think you’re dumb at all, luv. I know better than to lie to you. Why don’t you believe me?”

She scoffed, “Are you even listening to yourself?”

“I know it sounds unlikely but we’re on a Hellmouth. Anything is possible.”

“Not that.”

“After six years of fighting, *now* you turn skeptical.”

“I’m not being a skeptic, Spike, I’m being logical.”

“Nothing in the world that we live in is *logical*, Willow.” He stepped in front of her and lifted her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes, “And it never will be.”

She pushed him away, “Well, maybe I’m tired of that. Maybe I liked the world I was in. Maybe I liked true happiness. Maybe, for just one month, I enjoyed being a normal girl with a normal boyfriend. Maybe I *liked* being *loved*.” She shook her head, the tears slipping out the corners of her eyes, “But, it doesn’t matter. It *never* matters how I feel or what I like. I always have to give it up or it’s taken away from me. I can never love or *feel* without getting hurt. I am *tired* of having my heart ripped out and being smashed to pieces.”

“I know it hurts,” Spike began, moving forward, wanting to comfort the sobbing girl.

“You have *no* idea how much it hurts,” she whispered. “You can’t even comprehend it.”

He stared at her incredulously, “Is *that* what you think? Do you even *remember* Drusilla? I spent a century, a *century* with the chit and then she up and left me after I saved her.” He watched as her sobs quieted down, “You think I don’t know how you feel? I know, luv. It feels like your heart is trying to claw its way out of your chest and you can’t breathe, you can’t think, you can’t do anything but feel. You think dying would probably be better then what you’re going through. But, you don’t have the nerve to do it and so you decide to give up, shut down because maybe then, it won’t hurt so much.”

She cringed from the sound of his voice, the words ringing too close to home.

“But, you can’t. You can *never* shut down because it will *never* go away. You have to deal with it. But, knowing you, you’ve probably already told yourself that.” He let out an unneeded sigh, “Telling yourself is one thing, pet, doing it is another.”

Willow looked up with watery eyes, “H-How did you do it? How did you get past it?”

“A lot of drinking, fighting, and facing the truth. I am love’s bitch after all, pretty much used to it by now.” He took her by the hand, “Let me walk you home.”

She nodded quietly and the walked back to the Summers house in silence. When they finally reached the door he spoke, “There’s no other way. It’s all you can do.”

Without saying another word, he left her, keeping to the shadows, silently watching as she stepped inside the house. He knew she wasn’t stable; he had to keep watch on her. Who knows what she might do.

~^~**~^~

Willow stumbled onto the bed and shivered. A wave of calmness rushed over her, chilling her even as it relaxed her. Her head shot up as she saw the spell books on the table. Spike said there wasn’t any other way. Well, he was wrong. There was another way that she could get rid of the feeling inside her. She could go back. She could go back and everything would okay. Everything would be fine again.

She stood on shaky legs and she began to skim through the pages, looking for the spell that would help her jump back to the dimension she was in before. When she finally found the spell, she quickly grabbed an Advenia candle out of the cabinet, grateful that she kept supplies.

She lit the candle quickly and began to read.

“Autem Achere Desidio Raynhe”

A sudden light appeared in front of her and it opened up into a small screen. What was going on? This wasn’t supposed to happen. She was about to continue the spell, but something stopped her. What is was, she couldn’t place.

~^~**~^~

Willow leaned against William’s chest, struggling not to fall into the grasps of sleep, silently afraid that if she slept, she’d wake up in an alternate dimension that was her own personal version of hell.

He sensed the trouble in her and said reassuringly, “It’s alright, I won’t let anything hurt you.”

She looked up at him with wide eyes, “Promise?”

William caressed her hair lovingly, “I promise.” When he felt the tension drain out of her, he also began to relax. He placed a kiss on the top of her head before closing his eyes and falling asleep as well.

~^~**~^~

Willow was thrown against the wall when the light and screen disappeared and everything was silent and dark again the room. It was then that Spike came rushing into the room, turning the light on before kneeling in front of Willow and taking her into his arms.

He hugged her tightly before demanding, “What the bloody hell were you doing? Were you going to cast another spell? Haven’t you already learned from past experiences that it never turns out well when you cast a damn spell?”

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with pain, “I-I saw them. They were happy. He loves her.”

“What?” His eyes traveled over to her spell book. Reading the title, he finally understood what she was speaking of, “You were trying to go back to him, weren’t you?”

“I wanted it to stop, Spike. I thought that if I was with him again, it would.” She shook her head, “But it didn’t.”

“You have to stop running, luv, you have to accept it.”

She kicked the spell book away angrily, “I think I finally have.” Willow let out a sigh of acceptance, “He’s really gone, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he is.”

“It’s not meant to be. That’s not how they want it.”

He remained silent but still held her in his arms. For a moment, he wondered why she wasn’t crying and bawling like she usually was when William was brought forth. Did the chit really accept it all? That quickly? It seemed unlikely.

As if reading his thoughts she said, “I still love him. He’s like Oz and Tara, they’ll always stay in my heart. But, I know that it’s over. It’s over and done with. I-I just, have to accept it.” She whispered quietly, “It’s what’s supposed to happen.”

“You know, the Powers That Be aren’t always right about everything.”

She snorted, “I’m expecting a bolt of lighting to shoot out of the sky at any moment. They’re the ones that control it, Spike.”

“No,” he shook his head, “They may control some things but not all. *We* control our emotions and feelings, which may not be a good thing but it’s something.”

She shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m not crying. I would’ve before but I’m not now.”

He held her face in his hands and replied gently, “You’re so much braver and a hell of a lot stronger then you give yourself credit.”

“I’ve also been crying myself to sleep for the past week and have been blocking out everyone in my life because I was afraid to face them.”

He smiled at her, “And you’ve also turned into a bit of a cynic.”

She returned his smile, “I’m sorry. It’s just.. been rough.”

“I know.”

“I don’t think I can ever be that Willow again.”

“That Willow?”

“You know, nice and sweet Willow. A bit naïve but she was happy.”

“You sound like an 80 year old woman, luv. You’ve matured, it’s not a bad thing.”

“I just.. I still miss it. A lot.”

“I know,” he started to rub small circles on her back, “Just don’t spend your whole life missing the past. If you do, you might miss your future.”

She smiled, “You sound like a fortune cookie.”

“Thanks, pet, you do wonders for the ego.”

He continued to hold her and she put her head against his chest. She finally spoke but this time her voice was quiet, “Did you really see Buffy?”

“Yeah, luv, she scared the hell out of me.”

“Are we really connected?”

“That’s what the Powers That Be say.”

“I thought you said they weren’t always right,” she teased lightly.

“Shut up, pet, don’t use my own words against me.”

She closed her eyes and relaxed into his arms, “I don’t know. It’d be so much easier to believe that. If we really are connected, it’d explain so much. It’d be the reason why I fell in love with William. Why he’s still with the other Willow now.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “Why I get the warm fuzzies whenever I’m around you.”

He looked down at her in shock, not expecting the words to have come out of her mouth, “What?”

Her eyes fluttered shut as she gave in to sleep, the lack of energy finally taking its toll on her body.

~Part: 4~

Willow cracked open one eye with a groan. She pushed herself up onto her elbows and looked around. Why was it so dark in her room? She glanced at the windows covered with heavy blankets. Okay, who put those up? Suddenly, she saw the covers start to move. She turned and saw a bleached blonde head peeking through. The redhead squealed and scrambled back but managed to catch herself before she fell off the bed. “Spike?”

He groaned before lifting his head off the pillow, “Willow?” Reality hit him. “Oh, bugger all, Willow.” He moved to a sitting position, “Are you feeling better?”

She nodded slowly, the memories coming forth, “Yeah, better.” She smiled at him, “Thank you for what you did last night.”

“Not a problem, luv.”

Willow leaned against the headboard, “I’m surprised you stayed.”

“I didn’t want to leave you alone. I wasn’t sure how you were going to be when you woke up.”

“Yeah,” she let out a nervous laugh, “I know I’ve been a little hard to handle for the past week.”

He raised an eyebrow, “I think that’s a bit of an understatement.”

She grinned, “Sorry.” Willow dropped her arms down onto the covers in a defeated manner, “It’s really over.” She paused for a few moments, “And I think I’m finally really okay with that. Still hurts. A lot actually, but,” she sighed sadly, “that goes away.”

“Yeah,” he looked at her in concern, “It does.”

She shook her head and tried to change the subject, “Did, umm, did Buffy say anything else to you?”

“Nothing much except that we’re connected and that this relationship between us really matters. She didn’t tell me why. Had to be all vague.”

“Right,” She looked thoughtful, “So the PTB were interfering.” She snapped her fingers, “That was why that screen popped up and showed me everything. They were trying to stop me.”

“What?”

“Never mind,” she muttered. “Why would they care, though?”

“That’s what I asked Buffy. No answer.”

“I mean, are we part of some sort of ancient prophecy thingy?” Her nose bunched up, “I’m not sure if I’d like that very much.”

“I doubt it,” he shook his head, “Maybe the Slayer’s just messing with us, trying to get a few kicks in.”

“Right,” Willow scoffed, “I don’t think Buffy would do something like that. I don’t even think she could. So, we just have to figure out what we’re meant for.”

“Bloody hell, don’t tell me we have to do more research on this?”

She grinned, “Well, okay, but aren’t you curious?”

“Do you know how many ancient prophecies there are?” He looked at her incredulously, “Well, I don’t and I don’t plan to find out!”

“Fine, fine, fine,” Willow relented. She smiled again before looking around her room. “We better get dressed.” She looked down at herself before letting out a sigh of relief.

Spike gave her a pointed look.

She blushed before replying, “Just making sure. I, umm, meant outside clothes.”

“I know, pet, I know.”

~^~**~^~

“Willow?”

The redhead smiled at the shocked look on the face of her childhood friend, “Hey, Xan. I’m sorry about running out like that yesterday.”

He hugged her tightly, “It’s alright, Will. Just glad that you came.”

Willow walked into further into the Magic Box and waved at everyone else, “Dawnie, Giles, Anya.”

There were a series of hellos before Willow sat down and turned on her laptop. “So, umm, what are we researching?” She hated this, the tension and nervousness in the room. These people were her family and her friends. She shouldn’t feel this way towards them. They should make her feel comfortable and at ease. But, they didn’t.

“Uhh, nothing actually. Spike hasn’t had any trouble during patrols except the average amount of vampires,” The Watcher replied before sipping his tea.

She closed her laptop with a forced smile, “So, no research party?”

Giles shook his head, “I’m afraid not.”

“Oh,” Willow looked down and sighed. This was a lot harder then she expected.

“You’re welcome to stay, really.”

Willow smiled at the older man, “No, I just, I better go.”

Dawn shot a deadly glare at the redhead, “Yeah, leave, again, it’s all you seem to be doing these days.”

The whole room fell silent when the teen said these words. Willow looked at her sadly, “Dawnie, I didn’t-“

“Yes, you did. You’ve been ignoring us when we wanted to help. And you broke up with Tara! She wanted to help you the most but you just pushed her away.” The teen’s voice grew angrier, “Just like you did to the rest of us.”

“Dawn,” Giles snapped, “That’s quite enough.”

The teen looked back at him in disbelief, “Giles, *you* *know* how she’s been acting. You can’t-“

“Willow is obviously going through some personal problems. However, it is her business and her business only. Should she choose to share them with the rest of us is not our choice but hers.”

“Giles,” Dawn tried again but she was silenced by the look he gave her.

Willow sighed thankfully and gave him a regretful glance. He returned it with a small understanding smile. She looked to Xander and saw the acceptance in his eyes. Anya was just grinning at her. She shook her head in confusion. Her green eyes looked at Dawn, “I’m sorry that you feel like I’ve been ignoring you, Dawnie. I know I’ve withdrawn from the group a bit this past week but it’s just been rough. I’m dealing, like Giles said, but I never meant to hurt you.”

She looked up at her with a pout, “I’ve missed you, Willow.”

“I know, I’ve missed you too.”

The teen walked up to her before throwing her arms around her in a tight hug, “Don’t do it again, okay?”

“I promise, I won’t.”

“See, I knew that was going to happen.” Anya smiled, “I’m getting better at this.”

~^~**~^~

“So, the bit’s not mad at you anymore?”

Willow shook her head and gripped the stake tighter, “She forgave me. All of them did actually. Surprising, really.”

“Why?”

She looked at him with shocked eyes, “You of all people should know.”

“I’m not people, pet.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” She sighed, “I mean the way I’ve been treating you. Pushing away, shutting down, that sort of thing.”

“It’s a defense mechanism. Everyone does it some point in their life.”

“But, still-“

“I don’t blame you, Willow.” He looked at her before repeating Buffy’s earlier words, “You’ve been through a lot.”

The redhead stopped in her steps to really look at him before a smile slipped from her lips, “Thank you.”

He nodded in the direction behind her, “Vampire.”

She turned around, “Oh, fun.” The redhead kicked the oncoming attacker in the stomach and watched with a self-satisfied grin as it stumbled back. She moved forward and delivered a roundhouse kick right to its chest before staking it. She dusted off her hands and looked back towards Spike.

“Well, you really did learn a few things. That’s the second time you’ve kicked a vamp’s ass without any help.”

She nearly bounced with excitement, “I learned a lot of self defense. I taught a class about it, with Faith of all people.”

Spike looked curious, “The loony bint?”

Willow grinned, “Well, I guess she is in this Sunnydale but she’s not in the other.”

He raised an eyebrow, “You have stories?”

“Oh yeah, lots.”

He paused, “You’re not gonna start crying again are you?”

She shook her head, “No, I’ve done enough of that. I’ve accepted it so no more mopey Willow. Well, maybe just a little but no more major mopey Willow.”

He smiled at her ramble, thankful that a part of the old her was still intact, “Enlighten me.”

~^~**~^~

“I thought you said that it was quiet, Watcher,” Spike growled, “You said that everything was fine.”

“Well, we’re on the Hellmouth, Spike. Nothing is ever quiet.” Giles took off his glasses and started cleaning them in frustration, “I should’ve predicted something like this was going to happen.”

Xander looked around the room nervously, “Well, we can handle this, right?” When he got no answer, he asked again, “Right?”

Giles shook his head, “If it was just one. We probably could. But, there are four of them. Four Natros demons are just too much to handle.”

“Well, what about me and my magic? I could do a binding spell.”

“I doubt you can hold them very long.” Seeing the hurt look on her face, he added, “I don’t mean to insult your skills, Willow, but they are *extremely* powerful. Highly skilled killers.”

Anya nodded profusely, “Tweedy is right. I’ve seen one of these things fight. Not fun.”

Willow managed a weak smile, “But we still have to try, right?”

“Would there be any bloody point?”

“Spike,” Giles said harshly.

“What, Watcher?” The vampire asked as he stood up, “You want us all to just walk into a death trap?”

“Spike,” Willow said quietly. He shook his head before sitting down next to her. “We can’t give up before we even start. We have to fight this.”

“With what army?” Spike asked, his voice softer, “Think about it. The only ones here that can actually handle themselves are just me, you, and maybe the Watcher. Someone has to stay back to take care of the Niblet which would probably be demon girl. And, don’t even get me started on him,” he nodded towards Xander.

“I’m too nervous to find you insulting right now.”

“Speaking of which, where is Dawn?” Anya asked.

“Friends, movies,” Willow replied absent-mindedly. “What are we going to do?”

“They are practically immune to everything. Fire, Ice, even some magicks. This isn’t going to be easy.”

“Yeah, we got that already,” Spike said frustrated.

Willow looked down, “When do they plan to open the Hellmouth?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night?” The redhead repeated softly, “Oh, god, this is going to be-“

“Pure hell,” Spike finished.

~^~**~^~

After a full night’s worth of research, Giles finally sent everyone home. There wasn’t much new gained knowledge but there was still more then they began with. Willow leaned against the doorframe tiredly as she looked into Spike’s eyes, “Thank you for walking me home.”

“Not a problem, luv. Get some sleep. You’re going to need it.”

“Yeah,” she whispered sadly, “Spike, could you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone right now.”

He nodded and kept his blank face on, not wanting to show his emotions below. She was finally accepting him in and giving him a chance to become something more. Okay, so they might all die tonight but that was in the back of his mind as he walked up the stairs with her and into her bedroom. He watched as she pulled back the covers, not bothering to switch into pajamas.

She settled into the bed and looked up at him, biting her lip, “Would you, umm-“

Before she could finish, he walked over to her and sat on the bed and pulled up the covers around them both. She let out a sigh of relief and he wrapped his arms around her, reveling in the feel of her warm body next to his.

This was different. The feelings and emotions that were running through him, they were stronger than anything he had felt for a long time. He still wasn’t sure if he truly loved Buffy or not. It had sure seemed like it then but comparing those feelings to the ones he felt now, there really was no comparison. His feelings for the redhead in his arms right now won out by a long shot.

She was the one that made him smile. She made him happy. She made him feel like a man. She talked to him like an equal. She was so much more than he deserved but yet, he still wanted her. He wanted her so much that it scared him.

Spike tightened his grip on her as he listened to the steady beat of heart. She trusted him enough to sleep in his arms. The arms of a soulless killer. She didn’t see him as that. She managed to look past the demon and to the man. The man that lay inside, scared of the outside world, scared of the mocking and the harshness and cruelty. But, every time he was around her, that insecurity faded. She made him trust again. He looked down at her before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

~^~**~^~

“I’ve already prepared a pre-made binding spell.” Willow lifted up the small bag in her hands, “All we have to do is throw it on the demons and it’ll render them immobile for a few moments.”

“How long is a moment?” Giles asked.

“A few seconds,” Willow replied sadly, “It’s enough to decapitate them, though, right?”

“I hope so,” the Watcher returned.

The group continued to walk until they reached the area of construction for the new high school. Xander was holding onto his axe tightly, so tight that his knuckles were white. Giles held a sword that was magically blessed to cut more smoothly and with more force. Spike carried an axe that Xander could barely even lift. Willow gripped the ingredients in hand and moved forth in a fast pace. She hoped this was enough.

~^~**~^~

Willow continued to fight the last demon, shooting power bolts at it in hopes to electrocute it. The demon was toward her at a quick pace, stumbling slightly. The spells that she prepared earlier hadn’t worked. The demons weren’t affected by it for some reason. So, they had to fight the old fashioned way. Giles and Xander had both been knocked unconscious while fighting off one demon. Together, they managed to kill it. Spike was dealing with his own and had killed another. And, that left Willow who was still trying desperately to fight it off. She was weakening it greatly, that much she knew, but she was teetering on the edge. Her energy was quickly fading and Spike was now on the ground. She didn’t know if he was awake or not.

The demon grabbed her by the arm as she was still mumbling a few Latin words. He smirked at her and raised her body up in the air. Willow felt a rush of air before she was dropped onto the ground. She looked up with hazy eyes and saw that Spike was attacking the demon furiously. She crawled to her feet and swayed a bit, still trying to maintain balance.

The demon put both his hands on Spike’s face, no doubt planning to twist his neck. Willow looked up at the scene with nervous eyes before screaming, “No!” She focused her energies and a power bolt shot out of her hands, headed directly for the demon. The last thing she saw before everything faded to black was the ground getting closer and closer to her face.

~Part: 5~

Voices. Loud, yelling, arguing voices. That was the first thing she heard when she regained consciousness. Through blurred vision, she saw that Spike, Giles, and Xander were in the middle of an obvious verbal sparring match. She sighed heavily before raising her hand to her head and sitting up on Giles’ couch. “Could you guys not yell so loud?”

“Willow,” Spike all but breathed as he rushed over to her side, “Are you alright, luv?”

“Will,” Xander let out a sigh of relief, “You’re alright. Oh, thank god, you’re alright.”

“Willow,” Giles walked into the kitchen, “I’ll get you some tea to brighten your senses.”

The redhead shook her head and smiled, “What happened? Why the pampering? Not that I mind or anything.”

“You were unconscious probably from using too much magic. It took too much out of you.”

She grinned weakly, “Yeah, but hey, we won, right?”

“Yeah,” Xander nodded, “We won.”

Willow looked up when Giles handed her the cup of tea and she sipped it thankfully, “How long was I out?”

“A few hours,” Spike said quietly.

“Oh,” she tried to stand up but only managed to collapse into Spike’s waiting arms, “I think I should go home and sleep.”

“I’ll take you,” Spike said, his tone firm.

Willow was too tired to argue and leaned heavily on Spike as they walked out the door.

Xander turned to Giles, “Is something going on between them?”

The Watcher coughed on his tea in surprise, “What?”

The brunette raised an eyebrow, “I’m not as dense as everyone thinks I am, thank you very much. I swear, they’ve been extra couple-y lately.”

“I suppose.”

“You seem to be taking this well.”

“I could say the same for you.”

“Giles!” Xander said, “Stop being so vague and cryptic.”

“I don’t know if they are indeed involved, Xander, though it seems that way. However, like I mentioned to Dawn before, it is Willow’s life and her choice, not ours.”

Xander sat down, shaking his head, “Will and Junior, I never would’ve thought it.”

“You don’t know that yet. Wait until she actually tells us of her relationship with Spike.”

“And then what?”

Giles looked at him seriously, “Give her your support. She deserves it.”

~^~**~^~

Willow made it down Giles’ steps before Spike picked her up into his arms. He shushed her protests. “You’re too tired to walk all the way back to your place. Let me be the gentleman for once.”

She looked into his eyes and smiled, “I thought you were the Big Bad. Evil vampires aren’t supposed to be gentlemen.”

“What did I tell you about using my words against me?” He raised an eyebrow but she just giggled before resting her head against his shoulder.

“I’m tired, Spike,” she said before yawning.

“I can tell.”

“Thank you.”

“Not a problem, pet.”

“You’re so nice,” she said quietly. “Kind of like William but not. You two are so different. But in a good way. I like your different.” She closed her eyes, “Maybe too much,” she mumbled before she fell asleep.

Spike stopped walking and looked up at the sky, “Every time!”

~^~**~^~

This time when Willow woke up, Spike wasn’t next to her on the bed. And she was torn. She was grateful yet slightly disappointed that he wasn’t. Her growing feelings toward the vampire were confusing her. Was she mixing him up with William? It didn’t seem likely considering how different they were.

True, they both shared the sweetness factor but there was just something about Spike that screamed danger. Yeah, he was chipped and couldn’t hurt anybody but he was still incredibly intimidating. Plus, she had no idea how he felt towards her. And, that scared her too. He seemed to care about her but was it just as a friend or something more?

She shook her head. She had finally accepted that she wouldn’t ever be with William and it was obvious that he had moved on, so she should too. But, it was hard. And, it still hurt. It was no longer one of those, gut wrenching, heart shattering pains but more of a dull pain that was always there, no matter how much you wanted to get rid of it.

She brushed a stray tear away and leaned back against the headboard. Maybe, this was for the best. Starting a relationship with Spike right after her breakup with Tara and the acceptance of losing William wasn’t the best of ideas. She sighed when the memories of Spike during those times were brought forth. He was there for her when she needed him the most. And he had no reason to be. But, still he was.

The thought brought a small smile to her face.

~^~**~^~

Willow took two steps into the Magic Box before she was attacked by Dawn. “Wow, Dawnie,” She gasped as the teen wrapped her arms around her, “Are you okay?”

“I heard about what happened. Ohmigod, Anya and I were so worried!”

Anya walked up them both, pouting, “Yes, we rented videos with sexy famous people but I couldn’t enjoy it because I was so worried about all of you.” She gave Willow a tight hug when Dawn backed away.

“Okay,” Willow smiled, “Yeah, Anya, you can let me go now.”

The blonde sighed before pulling back, “I heard you did a spell and saved Spike.”

“Why is beyond me,” Xander quipped.

Spike shot a glare at him before looking up at Willow, “Are you feeling better, luv?”

“Fine,” she grinned, “No need to be worried. What’s on the agenda today, Giles?”

“Well, nothing actually.”

“Are you sure, Watcher? The last time you said nothing..” he let the sentence hang.

“Yes, Spike,” Giles shot an irritated look at the vampire, “I’m quite positive.”

Willow sat down on the couch next to Spike, “So, what to do then?”

“Well, we still have those videos,” Anya offered.

Dawn shook her head, “We’ve already seen them.”

“But, this time I can actually *enjoy* the eye candy,” Anya whined.

“Hey!” Xander said insulted.

“Don’t worry, honey,” she patted his back, “I like your eye candy better.”

Spike cringed and was about to make a comment when Willow elbowed him.

“Hmm, Will, ummm,” Dawn smiled sweetly.

“What is it, Dawnie? Every time you get that look it’s never good.”

“Can we go to the Bronze?”

Willow looked around the room and saw the agreeing faces. “What about Giles?”

The Watcher smiled, “It’s quite alright, Willow. I’d much rather prefer staying in with my books.”

“Whaddya say, Will? You up for some post-apocalyptic partying?”

The redhead shrugged, “I guess so.” She looked at Dawn, “Do you promise to behave?”

“I always behave.”

Spike snorted and smirked at the outraged look on Dawn’s face.

“Spike! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

~^~**~^~

Dawn grinned at the looks that Willow and Spike were shooting each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Geez, obvious much? Well, heck, if they won’t admit to their feelings then she’d just have to play matchmaker.

Personally, she was happy that they were both dealing so well. Spike was moving on as was Willow. She knew the breakup with Tara must’ve been tough. Dawn smiled when the thought of the blonde witch was brought forth. She didn’t realize why their relationship ended so abruptly before but now she realized that it wasn’t abrupt at all. It was gradual. Even before the summer, the two had been growing apart. Ever since the incident with Glory.

Dawn sighed when she thought of the hell-god. Stupid bitch. She missed Buffy. A lot. She missed her sister so much sometimes that it felt like someone was trying to tear her heart out. She never realized before that someone could feel so much pain, but she could. And she didn’t like it. But, she was slowly dealing and now, she realized why Buffy decided to make the choice that she did. A small smile appeared on her lips, she would always love Buffy. She may be gone physically but never mentally and emotionally.

She moved out of her seat as a new song came on and glanced at the redhead, “Willow, will you and Spike come dance with me?” She added her puppy eyes which she knew that no one could resist, “Please?”

Willow saw the devilish look in the teen’s eyes and raised an eyebrow, “Can’t you dance by yourself, sweetie? Anya and Xander are out there too.”

“Oh, come on, you come to a club and don’t dance? Makes no sense and besides I wanna dance with you two.”

Spike stared at her, “I don’t dance.”

Dawn rolled her eyes, “Of course you do.”

“No.”

“Spike,” Dawn whined, she added the lower lip quiver, “Please?”

Spike forced a sigh from his lungs, “Bloody hell, alright.”

Her face lit up, “Great, come on, Will.”

She dragged the reluctant couple out onto the dance floor and smiled softly as they began to move the beat, their bodies moving closer and closer. Dawn backed away slowly and watched them from a few feet away.

Mission accomplished.

~^~**~^~

Spike got up off his seat on the couch and slid onto the chair next to Willow who was currently asleep, her head between her hands, her laptop open in front of her. It had been two weeks since they fought the Natros demons and Giles had expected things to be quiet for at least a while longer. But, it was the Hellmouth. They were researching the new demon of the week and it had been hard on the redhead. Spike gently brushed the hair out of her face and was unaware of the soft smile on his lips as she moaned and leaned into his touch.

They were still at Giles’, except everybody was asleep. Well, everybody except him. Anya and Xander were huddled together on the couch. Dawn was on the recliner and Giles was in his room. Willow had insisted on staying up and continuing the research effort, adamant about not giving up just yet. Spike had stayed up with her, not wanting her to be lonely. Though he refused to admit that to himself because master vampires didn’t do such poof-y things.

He knew now the emotions he had for her were real. Very real. She managed to light up his mood without even trying. And she even brought out the man in him, William the bloody awful poet, the one who was long lost beneath the depths that lay within him. She resurrected him without even trying. He knew that she was still recovering from the pain of losing both Tara and William but he would wait. He had an eternity.

Though, he never was the patient one. He was tempted to just sweep her off her feet and lock her in a room and shag her nonstop until she admitted his feelings for him. But, the hopeless romantic in him wanted nothing more then to shower her with poetry and love and traditional courtship. Yeah, he knew he was beyond the poof point in all this.

She moaned again, this time saying his name softly.

The word on her lips made him grin like an idiot. He continued to caress her hair before grabbing a blank sheet of paper and a pen from the table. He pushed the demon back and let William come forth as he began to write.

‘If I should die
This very moment
I wouldn’t fear
For I’ve never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving you’

The End

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