**********
Part 1
Angel smiled down into the lobby at his odd little
family. Cordelia and Gunn were curled up on a couch
laughing, as Wesley tried desperately to maintain some
shred of dignity while playing charades. It amazed
Angel how the group had come together to become true
friends over the past several months. Cordelia said
it was because the PTB wanted them to all work
together, but Angel had another theory. And the focus
of his theory was sitting quietly with a mug of hot
chocolate, a smile on her face but a deep sadness in
her eyes.
As Angel watched the slight redhead blow on the hot
liquid, his mind drifted back to how Willow had come
to be a part of their little family. She had arrived
unannounced one day, asking if she could stay and
work. Cordelia desperately needed help with the new
computer system, courtesy of David Nabbitt, so Angel
had readily agreed. It rapidly became apparent that
Willow was helping with far more than just the
computer system, however. In small subtle ways, the
redhead had helped each of them understand each other
a little better. Bit by bit, the odd group of
individuals had become the family they all needed. It
was more than Angel could have hoped for. But then
the redhead had given him an even greater gift. She
had found a spell that made his soul permanent. It
had been performed the previous night, on Christmas
eve. The feeling of peace and contentment he now had
was the greatest gift he had ever received. He only
wished he could find some way to repay the redhead.
As it was, he’d never even been able to find out what
had happened in Sunnydale to hurt her so deeply. But
from the moment she had arrived, the petite redhead
had radiated pain from every fiber of her being. She
refused to talk about it, saying only that she had
needed to get away from Sunnydale. Even a phone call
to Rupert hadn’t revealed anything. Whatever pain the
redhead had suffered, she seemed to be the only one
who knew about it.
As if she could feel him watching her, Willow tilted
her head backwards to stare up at the dark vampire.
She smiled at him slightly, the familiar sadness in
her eyes fading for just a moment as she waved him
downstairs. Angel returned her smile and descended
the steps, determined not to let his concern for the
redhead ruin the festive mood.
As Willow watched the dark vampire descend the stairs,
she reflected on how lucky she was to have somewhere
and someone to turn to when her life in Sunnydale had
crumbled. Crumbled may have been too harsh a term,
but when she had first left Sunnydale, the pain had
been almost unbearable. She had never talked to any
of them about it, even after being accepted in their
little family. She often felt that she should confide
in Angel, but it was still too early, the hurt too
fresh in her heart. Still, Willow was grateful for
the support she had received when she arrived in LA in
spite of her unwillingness to discuss what had
happened.
Even as Willow recalled the events prompting her to
leave Sunnydale, she could hardly believe what had
happened. She had gone to Spike’s crypt, determined
to tell him how she felt about him. She had thought
she was prepared for anything, his laughter, his
insults. But nothing could have prepared her for the
sight of her best friend in the arms of the one Willow
loved. She was lucky that neither of them had seen
here enter or leave. In fact, neither of them had
seen her at all since that moment. Willow had left for
LA almost immediately, barely taking the time to pack
a few things before getting away from Sunnydale.
During the past several months, Willow had come to
terms with what she had seen. It was no great
surprise that Spike was attracted to the blonde
slayer, as was practically every other man who met
her. And after all, Buffy was strong and a fighter,
just like Spike. But no matter how many
rationalizations she came up, Willow couldn’t ever
seem to rationalize the pain away. She swallowed her
tears as the dark vampire approached her. She didn’t
want to be sad tonight. Willow was essentially happy
in LA. She had a family who cared about her, and she
had finally been able to restore Angel’s soul
permanently. It was a time to celebrate, not to let
her own heartbreak spoil their first Christmas
together.
**********
“I think your information was wrong,” Angel shouted as
he blocked a blow from the foul-smelling demon.
“If we survive this thing, you can cut my pay,” Gunn
responded as he swung an ax at his opponent.
“Angel, look out!” Willow screamed as another demon
attacked the dark vampire from behind. Angel whirled
just in time to duck the blow. Wesley cut the demon
down before it could attack again.
“Nice work, Wesley,” Cordelia called. Gunn had made
contact with his own opponent and stood grinning over
its limp corpse.
“Good job, guys,” Angel called as the team regrouped.
“Now, has anyone seen the leader of this…” his words
were cut short by a scream from Willow. Everyone
stared in shock at the claws that protruded through
the young woman’s abdomen. Wesley reached out to
catch the redhead’s limp form as the demon kicked her
in the back, knocking her forward. Gunn and Angel
descended on the creature immediately before it could
dissolve into ethereal form once more. They defeated
it easily, but it was not a joyous victory. Dejected,
Angel returned to the redhead’s side. Cordelia was
holding the woman’s hand and crying. Wesley looked up
at the dark vampire with tear-rimmed eyes.
“We’ve got to get her to a hospital,” Gunn said, as he
tried to pull Cordelia away. Wesley shook his head.
“It wouldn’t do any good. She’s been poisoned.” Angel
said softly. Already, the wound was turning a sickly
green color, and a foul odor was barely detectable.
“There’s nothing medicine could do for her,” Wesley
added softly. “But Angel can save her.”
Angel looked at the ex-watcher in surprise. “What are
you talking about?’
“You can turn her, Angel. She’s going to die
regardless, but you can bring her back.”
“I can’t do that,” Angel replied angrily. “I can’t
make her into a demon.”
“Dammit, Angel, you have to save her!” Cordelia
shrieked. “You can’t just let her die.”
“I can’t do it!” Angel yelled.
“Angel,” Wesley said softly. “We have the spell. We
can restore her soul permanently before she even
awakens.”
“But I would damn her forever,” the dark vampire said
softly. “I can’t do it.”
“Please, Angel. We need her. You know that,”
Cordelia pleaded.
Gunn nodded silently. “She would still have her soul,
Angel. She would still be Willow.”
Angel knelt beside the now unconscious redhead and
took her face in his hands. He glanced up at Wesley
one last time, waiting for reassurance from the former
watcher. Wesley nodded and moved the redhead into
Angel’s arms.
“You should go back to the hotel,” Angel said softly.
“Get everything ready. I’ll be there shortly.” Gunn
nodded and led the still crying Cordelia away. Wesley
clasped Angel’s shoulder one last time before turning
away and leaving the dark vampire alone with the young
witch.
“I’m so sorry, Willow,” Angel said softly, cradling
the redhead’s body against his own. “Please forgive
me.” He closed his eyes and sank his fangs into her
tender flesh, drinking for only a moment. Her heart
beat was already dangerously slow, so the dark vampire
quickly opened his wrist and held it to the dying
girl’s lips. She swallowed reflexively as the warm
liquid filled her mouth. Angel let her drink for
several moments before pulling her away. He held her
body gingerly as he listened to her heart struggle to
beat its last futile beats before stilling forever.
Then he gathered the slight form in his arms and
headed back towards the hotel.
**********
“Are you sure you did the spell right?” Cordelia asked
nervously. She remembered the vamp Willow from the
wishverse and had no desire to see her again.
Wesley nodded. “I don’t understand what’s taking so
long for her to wake up, however. And why doesn’t
Angel want us around her when she awakens?”
“Look, I’m sure Angel has his reasons. We’ve just got
to trust him for now. Maybe it’s just a precaution
until he’s sure the spell worked.”
“I told you it will work. I helped Willow perform it
for Angel, you know.”
“Yeah, but we’ve never seen whether or not it’s been
tested. Maybe Angel’s soul isn’t really permanent
either.”
“Hold up, Angel said he feels different. Doesn’t that
mean it worked?”
“Not if what he’s feeling is psychosomatic.” Wesley
frowned.
Angel could hear the voices drifting upwards from the
lobby. Willow had only been dead a few hours, but the
carefully achieved harmony of the group was already
breaking down. Cordelia had been right. They did
need the redhead. Angel just hoped that she would
forgive him for what he had done to her.
On the bed, the redhead’s eyelids fluttered open.
Angel waited expectantly for her reaction. Willow
tried to sit up, but was prevented from doing so by
the chains around her wrists and ankles. “Angel,” she
said shakily. “What happened? Why am I chained up
like this? Why is everything so loud?”
“I’m sorry, Willow. I didn’t want to. But we need
you. I know it’s not fair to you, but we couldn’t
just let you die.”
“You turned me?” the redhead asked softly.
Angel moved to sit next to her on the bed and nodded
slowly. “I’m sorry, Willow.”
“Am I evil?”
“You shouldn’t be. Wesley and I performed the soul
restoration you used on me. I’m sorry for doing this.
You should have had a choice.”
Willow lay quietly for a moment. “I think I would
have chosen this. But,” she hesitated. “I’m scared,
Angel. I don’t want to be evil.”
“You won’t be, Willow. But it’s going to be very hard
for you to learn to deal with the demon. But I’ll do
anything I can to help you.”
Willow nodded. “Will you let me up from here?” She
waited patiently as Angel unlocked the chains, then
pulled herself up to a sitting position with her knees
tucked into her body. “I’m hungry, Angel,” she
murmured.
“I know. I’ve got some blood for you.”
Willow wrinkled her nose in disgust at the mug he held
out to her. But the smell of it quickly overwhelmed
her senses. In a rush, her demon surged forward and
she drank the contents of the mug greedily. The
redhead stared up at her sire with yellow eyes and
licked the blood from her lips. Angel was surprised
at how beautiful she was as a demon. Suddenly, she
flung the mug across the room. As it shattered,
Willow’s resolve seemed to break with it. She began
sobbing uncontrollably, mourning the life she had
lost, the life that had barely begun. Angel swept her
into his arms and held her tenderly, comforting her as
best he could.
Downstairs, the voices stopped at the sound of ceramic
being broken. “Perhaps we should go,” Wesley offered
quietly. “I’m sure Angel will call if he needs our
help.” Cordy and Gunn nodded silently as the trio
slipped out of the building.