Parts: 11
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~Part: 11~
Spike flinched and took a step back; that had never even occurred to him. Another girl that he could see himself falling for who thought he was beneath her, who hated him. It was almost enough to break his heart again.
He looked away and clenched his jaw and Willow was immediately contrite.
"Sorry Spike, I didn't mean that." and she was sorry. She'd never hurt anyone intentionally and she didn't know why she had such a block with Spike. It wasn't like he had done anything wrong. She sighed hard and sat down in the corner, her head in her hands.
"It's not you Spike. It's anything that reminds me of Sunnydale. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"At least you believe I have them." he gave a short laugh and kneeled down in front of her. "So we were never friends, maybe we were supposed to be?"
She smiled wryly at his flirtatious tone and wrapped her arms around herself.
"You think?"
He grinned at her "I think we were meant to be great friends Willow."
"I am sorry, I don't dislike you." She apologised again, ignoring his flirting.
"That's okay. Does that mean you like me?" he couldn't help asking.
Willow frowned "I don't actually know you well enough to say do I?" the thought seemed to puzzle her.
"Well maybe you should get to know me; I'm actually a pretty decent guy."
"Vamp." She corrected
"Whatever." He chuckled.
"Why do you care what I think Spike, it's never bothered you before."
"Maybe it did and I just never said." He answered truthfully "I figure we've been given a second chance and I don't intend to blow it."
Willow thought for a while. She couldn't see Spike without the image of him in the crypt with Buffy and despite his earnest tone; she couldn't help wondering if he was going to turn her over to Buffy. The very idea made her angry but she took some deep breaths to calm herself before she lashed out again.
"I don't know Spike. I left to get away from everything Sunnydale and you seem to embody the place. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't think I can get past that."
Spike looked hurt despite her best efforts "So you had a crappy year pet, I think everyone did. I know it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to."
She couldn't help the snort of disbelief that almost escaped her at that. Right.
"But before that, you were happy right?"
"When Spike? When my best friend was killed the day Buffy came to school, the day Buffy's boyfriend killed my favourite teacher and tried to kill me or maybe when my own boyfriend cheated on me and then wanted me as an appetiser?" her smile was cynical "Yeah lots of great memories of old Sunny hell."
"Well maybe its time to make new memories, with me in them." he emphasised.
~~~*~~~
Angel looked up from his demon text as Fred giggled; he was surprised to see Gunn there. He thought he was training with Willow. He hadn't even heard him come upstairs.
"Hey, training over?"
"No." Gunn answered looking up at him "I handed it over to a master."
"What?"
"Spike turned up and offered to teach Willow some stuff, I figured they had a few issues to work over, they seem so tense around each other." Gunn had noticed that almost as soon as the blonde came in the hotel and while at first he held the same beliefs as the redhead in time he had come to like if not trust the blonde.
Angel glanced at the hallway and swallowed hard. He knew that Willow didn't want much to do with Spike, in fact she had seemed to want to avoid him as much as possible and that had kept Angel from being worried about Spike's oft glances her way. He knew Willow well enough to know that she hadn't ever thought of Spike in that way.
Still he also knew how convincing and charming Spike could be when he pushed.
Angel left Fred and Gunn to man the fort and went to check on his charge.
He opened the door and took the first few steps down the stairs only to stop when he saw Willow sitting in a corner with her back against the wall, and Spike leaning in close.
"Is everything okay in here?"
Spike cursed his Sire's bad timing. He had been trying to get Willow to go with him on patrol so they could have a one on one talk and clear the air.
But here was old hair gel boy barging in on them before he could pin Willow down to a solid time and date. The very thought of date and pinning Willow down in the same sentence sent shivers down his spine- in a good way.
He had almost had her; he could see that despite her misgivings she was reluctantly going to agree to spend some time alone with him. The reluctant part still stung but he could work on her willing participation.
That is if the king of Poof let her alone for five seconds.
"Angel." Willow breathed a huge sigh of relief. She was pleased to see him.
It wasn't that she was afraid of Spike or anything, it was just that he had always made her feel uncomfortable, back when she first met him at parent teacher night, it was because he was trying to eat her friends parents. Then it was because he was an attractive man and she was still the shy virgin. That fear, of course, was erased because he was trying to kill her. After a while it gradually faded but some of the unease had lingered and had multiplied when she had seen him with Buffy.
Not that he had ever been aware of her unease, or if he had he had revelled in it and never mentioned it to her, he had never really spoken to her.
She was used to Spike ignoring her unless he wanted to yell at her or wanted something from her. This Spike who cajoled so charmingly for her company was new and made all of her previous misgivings return with a vengeance. What did he want?
Angel smiled reassuringly at her and she clambered to her feet, edging away from Spike slowly so he didn't notice and call her on it.
"We were just done training." She emphasised and walked over to him, picking up the jacket she had dropped when Spike confronted her the first time. She beamed up at him.
"Everything quiet upstairs?"
Angel nodded. She looked relieved to have been rescued by him. He had warned Spike away from Fred but never thought it necessary to warn him away from Willow.
But it looked like it might become a necessity. He didn't want Spike anywhere near Willow, no matter how much he had missed his childe and felt bad for what had happened to him.
Willow had become so important to him, he knew that he was in love with her and the last thing he wanted was for Spike to ruin things with Willow.
He held out his hand to her and smiled warmly at her.
"I was going to ask if you were up for some dancing lessons?"
Willow giggled at him "I don't know Angel it's my turn to go shopping for groceries; some of us don't exist on a liquid diet."
Angel pouted playfully and pulled her up the stairs and away from Spike.
"Ok, I'll get my credit card for you." He offered
"I'm taking Connor too, he needs some fresh air." Willow said as she walked over to the counter to grab the baby bag.
"You're going out?" Wesley said as he sat up. He had been reading some files in his office but stood up when he saw Willow getting ready to go out.
"Yeah, why?"
"I need some items, is it okay if I come along?"
"More than." She beamed at him, so glad that she had all these people who cared for her.
"I'll get Connor ready." Angel offered and went up to the nursery.
"Training finished?" Gunn asked her.
"Yeah, thanks." She replied sarcastically to him. He had left her alone with Spike.
Gunn started at her tone but before he could call her on it Angel was back.
"Here you go Connor, you go with Willow and Uncle Wesley."
Willow grinned as Wesley preened
"Hey don't I get to be Auntie Willow?" she said mock indignantly
"I think you're more than that." he said quietly giving her an expressive look.
Willow chose to ignore it; she had enough to deal with right now.
Spike watched from the shadows as his Sire used every opportunity to touch Willow before she left with the baby. He had seen that look before. It was the one he had seen used on Darla and himself all those years, it was more than lust, it was the closest thing to love he had ever seen on his Sire's face. The glare he had seen directed to himself worried him more than he would admit.
He had let Drusilla come between him and Angel all those years ago even though he knew that Dru being Angel's childe would be against him right from the start. But Willow wasn't anyone's property, just because Angel had a head start in securing her affections didn't mean that Spike couldn't catch up.
After all they had an awful lot in common with each other, living in Sunny hell all this time. They'd battled the same demons and hung with the same people…which reminded him.
"Hello Summers residence."
Spike handed the phone to Fred and motioned her to continue.
"Hi ya'll I'm a friend of Dawn's can I talk to her please?"
"Sure."
Spike grinned at Fred, she had agreed to help once he had explained that he wanted to talk to Dawn without having Buffy know that he was trying. If Buffy answered Fred would pretend to be a friend of Dawn's so she could get Dawn to the phone without Buffy being suspicious about a guy calling her sister.
"Hello?"
"Hey Nibblet." He smiled at her voice.
"Oh my god Sp-brina!"
"Sabrina?" he laughed "Good cover up pet. I take it the bitch is still in the room?"
"Yeah you got that right. Wow, I can't believe its you, I didn't think I'd hear from you again."
"Now, now Nibblet I promised." He sat back in his chair and made himself comfortable. "And ol' Spike keeps his promises, especially to pretty girls like you."
"Thanks. I miss you."
"Me too love. So how is everything over there?"
"Not so good. Everyone's still," her voice went quiet "The blonde that screwed you over has gone all wiggy."
"Buffy's what?"
"She's all so happy that you left, acting way over cheerful now, it gets on everyone's nerves. You remember that guy you hated?"
"Xander?"
"Yeah Ralph, well he got mad at her and they had this big old argument right in the middle of the shop…class and the girl he's dating got mad at them all for showing her up."
"Poor Harris, is he okay?"
"No, he misses his…"
"Willow?"
"Yeah, we all do. Any idea where she transferred to yet, you said you were gonna try to contact her?"
Spike bit his lip, he didn't want to lie to Nibblet but Willow had said she didn't want them to know where she was, breaking that trust wouldn't endear him to her.
"Not as yet pet, sorry."
"No big." She sighed "Anyway, our teacher…you know the English guy?"
"Giles?"
"Yeah, he was pissed at us all for being so mean that she transferred to another school. I think he's worried about her, apparently when we stopped her doing her… homework it meant that her… grades slipped and that reduced her chance of having a future. Do you know what I mean?"
"Stopping Red doing magic could have killed her."
"Yeah, I'm so worried about her, if we knew where she was I could apologize and maybe make it up to her. I know that teach is still too mad at us to help out, even though he's on vacation, he calls in and he hands out detentions like its going out of style. He reduced Ralph's girlfriend to tears, so Ralph was pissed at him too. I think that Bu-linda wanted to make peace but she's still pretty out of it herself. I think she's coming around though."
"Yeah Buffy's coming back?"
"Sometimes I can see the old Belinda in her eyes and she seems to be better. I think the Post traumatic stress could be wearing off."
"Glad to hear it pet, as long as things are getting easier for you."
"I wouldn't say easier." She sighed again "So where did you end up?"
Spike hesitated again "Love I want to tell you but I have to have your word that you wont tell Buffy."
"I promise."
"I mean it Nibblet, if Slutty finds out that I'm here, she'll come down and dust me. It's my death we're talking about Dawnie."
"I know that Sabrina. I promise I won't say a word."
"I'm at Angel's in L.A."
Silence.
"Nibblet?"
"I thought you hated him."
"I do…sort of…it's complicated."
"I can't believe it, you're…dating him?"
"Ew, thanks for the imagery Li'l bit." Ok so it wasn't that bad a picture but that wasn't the point. He wanted to hear his little girl laugh.
He heard her giggle and it made her smile "That is so not what I meant but…are you happy?"
"I am, pet. I miss you and wish I could see ya but here is good. I'm not dust and I get to help out, these people are nice so yeah I'm happy here."
"I miss you."
"Me too love."
"Can I call you?"
"Yeah, just make sure that Buffy's not around so we don't have to talk in code okay?"
"Promise. I have to go; I'm going out with my sister so I'll call soon. Goodbye Sabrina, it was great to hear from you."
"You too, see ya pet."
He hung up and smiled at Fred.
"Thanks for that Fred."
"You're welcome Spike." she patted his arm and walked away.
~~~*~~~
Willow never really enjoyed shopping, but with Connor and Wesley it was almost fun.
Wesley was just like her in that they'd spend ages at the book art and do the groceries in less than half an hour.
During that time they loved to talk.
"So Willow, I heard you were training with Spike." Wesley smiled at her but it faded when she just frowned.
"Not really. He came down and Gunn foisted me off so he could go chat with Fred." She slammed the pasta into the trolley startling Connor who gave a whimper.
"Sorry Connor." Willow kissed him on the cheek.
"That made you mad?" Wes observed
"Well yeah, I mean the last person," she paused "One of the last people on the planet I want to talk to right now is Spike and suddenly poof he was just there."
"He's been around for a while." Wes reminded her
"Yeah but, see that's just it. He was here but he was out with Gunn or hanging with Fred or slaying with Angel. He's away and that's fine by me." She dropped wheat-bix into the trolley and took a breath. "But then Gunn runs away and I'm supposed to act all fine and dandy with him?" she shook her head.
"I have noticed that you dislike being in the same space as him, you are more hostile and rarely go where he does."
"There's a reason for that." she rolled her eyes "He cornered me in the training room and gave me some spiel about how we should have been great friends and that I need to make memories with him in them. Newsflash I have memories with him in them and none of them are daydream material."
Wesley watched amused as the girl put the items on the checkout with less care than usual and a pout as she packed them up. It wasn't until they got to the car before he began to speak again.
"Why do you hate Spike so much?"
"I don't hate him." She sighed "He's just-" she tried to gather her thoughts "Everything that's gone wrong in my life he's been there, he been at least a part of it. He's lied and manipulated his way into my circle of friends and caused more disunity and…and pain but everyone still lets him stay around."
"I'm not sure I understand." He said cautiously.
"When he first showed up he locked me and Xand in the factory causing us to get caught when Oz and Cordelia found us kissing. The next time he shows up was just after Oz left and he nearly killed me, he called us losers and preyed on every insecurity I've ever had, he screwed us over for Adam making me feel bad about Tara and nearly breaking us all up. Then he's making robotic Buffy's to have sex with and telling Dawn she's the key making her slice herself up and then he yelled at us over the summer and only helped take care of Dawn never mind the rest of us and he was having sex with Buffy while I was hurting so she didn't notice and didn't care and didn't tell no matter the no- secrets rule."
Her voice was almost a shriek and to her horror she found fresh tears running down her cheeks. Wesley looked on in part sympathy and part horror.
"Then he comes here, Buffy's little lap dog, to tell all about what I did so the place where I might feel at home is threatened and he'll tell Buffy where I am so he can get back in with her and they'll drag me back and try to put me in that box where I'm not allowed to think or…or feel or grow or be me. I don't want to be so unhappy again Wes." He pulled her close as tears fell steadily down her face and she sobbed into his shoulder.
"I won't let them take you back Willow and I know Angel will move heaven and hell to make sure you stay."
"Why can't he just go?" she swallowed hard trying to fight the pain again. "Why is he trying to be my friend? He got me so confused. He's Buffy's. Anyone who was Buffy's never gave me the time of day unless it was to pump me for information or kidnap me. I thought I was finally beyond being used."
She pulled away and looked intently at Wes. "All they wanted me for was to research and do spells. I wasn't really needed… or wanted. Here I belong. You guys don't need my skills but you want me to stay around anyway. Now Spike's here to use me to get back at Buffy and I'm starting to feel like I did in Sunnydale."
Wesley kissed her forehead "They have a lot to answer for. I don't know what Spike's deal is Willow. Angel only knows why he left Sunnydale and he won't say. I've seen Spike watch you; at first I thought he might be fond of you." Willow snorted and Wes gave a small smile "But if his intentions are nefarious then he will have to watch his back."
A gleam came to Wes' face that Willow had never seen before, it was hard and harsh.
"I won't let him hurt you Willow." he vowed and Willow believed him.
"I want to believe the best of people Wes, but how can I when I don't see it?"
But for the broken girl clutching at his shirt he had no answer.
~~~*~~~
Angel knew when Willow was in the hotel, even if he hadn't seen her. Somehow his demon was just that much calmer. She had come back from shopping with Wesley much quieter than before and he had a sinking sensation that it had something to do with Spike but since she had shut and locked herself in her room there was nothing he could do about it.
He wanted to talk to Wes about it but he had gone home murmuring something about a stake. Or maybe he was hungry and it was a steak. Either way he had no idea what was wrong with Willow and it was bugging him. He wandered downstairs into the kitchen.
Spike was staring at the microwave hoping against hope that the bland pigs blood would suddenly transform into hot succulent virgins blood when he heard Angel enter the kitchen.
"Spike."
"Peaches, you know I don't think it would kill you to make some bloody noise when you walk. Harris was right…and you won't hear me say that often, but you need a bell."
Angel decided to discard all pleasantries.
"What did you do to Willow?"
Spike turned gaping "Say what?"
"Willow." Angel gritted his teeth "When I walked into that training room you had her pressed up against a wall, cowering in a corner. What were you doing?"
"Nothing, we were just chatting." Spike took his blood out as the machine pinged.
"About?" Angel prompted as he crossed his arms over his broad chest, leaning in the doorway so Spike couldn't leave.
"General stuff, she was talking about Sunnyhell and her."
Angels' heart sank "She talked about Sunnydale?"
"Yeah?" Spike raised an eyebrow at his Sire's tone and smirked "Doesn't she talk to you about it?"
Angel clenched his jaw unwilling to let Spike know how much it stung that she wouldn't talk to him about Sunnydale.
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